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The top 60 outfielders for 2013 fantasy baseball become a sloppy mess towards the end.  I almost went with guys like Leonys Martin over, say, Angel Pagan, but that’s upside for upside’s sake over a known entity.  Guys near the top of the 80 outfielder post, which will be up next, like Adam Eaton and Leonys Martin are great, but I can’t rank them above guys who have shown 10-15 homer and 20-30 steal skills in the majors, even though I could see owning Eaton or Martin before Pagan.  I’ll just wait until Pagan is drafted by someone else and then lay my big, beautiful, blue eyes on upside outfielders.  With these outfielders, we’re officially in a crop of players (or maybe that’s crap) that won’t even be drafted in some shallower leagues.  If you have only 3 outfielders in your 10-team league, you might never see Michael Brantley drafted.  In deeper leagues, where these guys will be drafted, you need to match up needs with wants.  I want Ben Revere if I have heavy RBI/power guys on my team.  I don’t need him if I have, say, Reyes, Aoki and Ichiro.  Oh, and if I had Reyes, Aoki and Ichiro, I might consider fantasy rugby.  All of the 2013 fantasy baseball rankings are there.  As always, my projections and tiers are included. Anyway, here’s the top 60 outfielders for 2013 fantasy baseball:

41. Carl Crawford – The first 40 outfielders for 2013 fantasy baseball are there.  This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Morse.  I call this tier, “You turn my entire world upside/downside.”  Guys in these tier can be number one outfielders, and my projections might be a little ambitious, but what, you want me to get excited about Nick Swisher?  Crawford is supposed to be ready for Opening Day after having Tommy John surgery last year.  He probably won’t be able to throw his curveball, but his legs should be fine to steal bases, assuming he still has that aspect of his game.  He hasn’t topped 20 steals since 2010, but his speed still looks to be there.  2013 Projections:  78/12/84/.270/31

42. Brett Gardner - Hey, if you go to the well enough times, eventually the trolls who live under the bridge will stop peeing in said well and you’ll have some decent drinking water.  Or so Mother Albright told me on a cold night in 1917, when I was but a wee boy.  I remember that night almost 100 years ago, because I was all pell-mell, bemoaning a lost fantasy championship when my Tris Speaker was kicked out of the final game of the season because he threatened to kill the 1st base ump’s horse.  So, I’ve gone to the Brett Gardner well before.  Probably every year he’s been in the big leagues.  Last year, he killed me when he went down with his injury, and became the first person listed as critical condition with a sore elbow.  “I think B.G. will be back on Monday or in five months.”  That was Joe Girardi, as he chewed gum, then spent 45 minutes picking it out of his braces.  The elbow is healed, and Gardner is ready to go.  I like him a lot.  2013 Projections: 102/8/45/.281/46

43. Chris Davis – Davis’s projections are at the top 20 1st basemen for 2013 fantasy baseball.

44. Starling Marte – I already went over my Starling Marte 2013 fantasy.  I wrote it while hearing about the breeding history of a farm-raised chicken in Portland.  2013 Projections:  77/12/58/.252/27

45. Michael Morse – This tier is also filled with a bunch of guys that are getting by on good vibes and bad farts.  Morse is probably the worst offender of this.  If he didn’t have 2011, he’d be a guy that always had promise but never had a healthy year or showed anything and he’s about to be 31 years old.  Unfortch, we don’t know if he’ll be hurt again, and if he’s healthy, he can give a 25+ homer, .290+ season.  He’s a lot more valuable in shallower leagues where you can replace him with a waiver wire guy when he invariably gets hurt.  As for the move to Safeco, he’s back to the club he was with when he was suspended for PEDs.  The Mariners tried to trade John Jaso for Adam Jones and Chris Tillman, but alas…  This move won’t help his value, but he’s more tied to whether or not he’s healthy.  2013 Projections:  67/25/81/.286

46. Michael Cuddyer – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Prado.  I call this tier, “Fifty shades of ‘okay’ when drafted at other positions.”  Cuddyer’s projections are at the top 20 1st basemen for 2013 fantasy baseball.

47. Emilio Bonifacio – Bonifacio’s projections are at the top 20 2nd basemen for 2013 fantasy baseball.

48. Nick Swisher – Swisher’s projections are at the top 20 1st basemen for 2013 fantasy baseball.

49. Trevor Plouffe – Plouffe’s projections are at the top 20 3rd basemen for 2013 fantasy baseball.

50. Martin Prado – Prado’s projections are at the top 20 2nd basemen for 2013 fantasy baseball.

51. Carlos Gomez – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Span.  I call this tier, “In theory, these guys seem like a good idea to draft, but you’ll probably regret it.”  What I mean by the tier name is these guys will be drafted and you’re gonna be like, “Yo, Grey, I agree with your fly dance moves, and I’ve never found another straight man as attractive as you before, but I just don’t understand why I’d regret drafting Carlos Gomez.  I mean, I’ll take a 15+ homer, 35+ steal guy every day of the week and twice on Muesday.”  Cut to May and Gomez is hitting .190 and you wonder if it’s too late to start playing fantasy basketball or too early to start your fantasy football prep.  I like Gomez, and might draft him myself, but I’ll also keep in mind that I might drop him by mid-April.  In his breakout in 2012, he still had the pre-All-Star break numbers of 26/5/18/.233/11.  If you get to July with those numbers again this year, you’re probably going to lose your league or just drop Gomez.  His 2nd half was great –> 14 homers, 26 steals and a .278 average, but since he came up in 2007 that would’ve been his best year, not just his best half.  2013 Projections:  79/15/52/.243/25

52. Jayson Werth – I don’t think we’re ever going to see 30+ homers again from him unless he’s traded in April to Coors.  Also, for him to hit .300 again, as he did last year in his abbreviated 81-game season, he’ll need to be lucky with his BABIP.  So, he’s only good for around 20 homers, 15 steals and a .260 average, but there’s value there.  Just depends what that is Werth to you.  Hahahahahahaha!  Breathe, Grey, breathe!  *exhaling*  Phew, lost it there for a second.  2013 Projections:  87/19/70/.259/12

53. Ben Revere – As someone who owned Revere last year when he wasn’t bad (40 steals, .294 average), let me say you won’t regret him if you need strictly steals, but SAGNOF is cute for a little while.  If you hold him for too long, your RBIs and homers will start to hurt.  I already went over my Ben Revere 2013 fantasy.  It came with a brand-new free car! (Offer expired.)  2013 Projections:  82/1/30/.291/45

54. Denard Span – This offseason I went over Denard Dawg, “Traded to the Nationals.  Here’s where there’s a schism between real baseball and fantasy.  This is an excellent real world deal by the Nationals.  About as unexciting as deals get from fantasy.  Span’s value doesn’t change in the NL.  He gets a more productive lineup, so that adds about 10 to 15 runs, but he needs to stay on the field.  Something he’s not always excelled at.  For NL-Only leagues, he’s a nice late-round outfielder.  For mixed leagues, he’s ‘Hey, Grey, Denard Span is on my waivers…Should I grab him?  BTW, you change your hair?  Mucho machismo!’”  And that’s me quoting me quoting you!  2013 Projections:  86/5/42/.281/22

55. Michael Saunders – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until the top 80 outfielders for 2013 fantasy baseball.  I call this tier, “Some power and not incredible speed equals yawnstipating over the course of a season.”  It seems like these type of players are today’s answer to the 1990′s 50 homer hitter.  These guys are a dime a dozen.  Nothing inherently wrong with these guys when you look at their season stats.  You could do worse than 15 homers and 20 steals or 7 homers and 27 steals or 12 homers and 22 steals.  Some of the guys above here could end up worse.  But 7 homers and 27 steals, for instance, is around one homer and 5 steals per month.  That’s what?  A single and a steal per week?  I could get that from picking up Tony Campana for a game.  It’s very hard to watch a guy on waivers hit 4 homers in four games and hold tight to your one homer, 4 steals per month guy.  2013 Projections:  72/15/60/.251/20

56. Alejandro De Aza – Seriously, you won’t be able to throw a rock next year without hitting a guy that could give you 7-15 homers and 20-30 steals.  Speaking of which, we should have a name for these type of players in the glossary.  Feel free to suggest in the comments.  2013 Projections:  88/8/52/.284/30

57. Angel Pagan – All this time I thought his name sounded like a new Dan Brown book, but I just realized something.  Angel Pagan is the nickname Tupac would’ve given himself had he lived.  There’s no way I can pay you back but the plan is to show you that I understand, he’s an Angel… Give the crack to the kids who the hell cares?  One less hungry mouth on the welfare, he’s a Pagan… 2013 Projections:  85/7/52/.272/26

58. Michael Brantley – From all the names so far in this tier, Brantley is the most intriguing.  Sure, when you’re in a tier of Pagan, De Aza and Saunders, being the most intriguing is like being the world tallest dwarf.  Brantley hasn’t shown any speed yet in the majors like he did in the minors.  One year in Triple-A, he swiped 46 bases with only 5 times caught.  So how on earth did he only steal 12 bases last year with 9 times caught?  I don’t have a clue, Professor Plum, but it makes me think he could have a big, surprising year.  2013 Projections:  83/7/57/.292/20

59. Melky Cabrera – When he signed with the Blue Jays, I didn’t write anything about him. But here’s what I found on the internet from a site called whymelkyissofreakinawesome.com, “Last year, Melky was suspended for 50 games for drugs that weren’t really that illegal. I’ve taken the same drugs as Melky and they did nothing for me. I think they actually made me a bit lethargic. I bet without these drugs, that are again barely illegal, Melky could have the best season of his career. If I were a major league team, I’d sign him in a heartbeat. (Updated: Melky was signed by the Blue Jays and is probably very appreciative. I don’t know; I am not him. He is also wondering if the drugs he took before that didn’t help him but were illegal are now legal in Canada.  If anyone knows, ping me in the comments and I’ll pass along the info to Melky, though I am in no way associated with him.)” Not sure of the accuracy of the site, whymelkyissofreakinawesome.com, and all correspondence sent to the website administrator, Fakey Boobrera, went unanswered.  2013 Projections: 90/9/69/.265/15

60. Cameron Maybin – In 2011, Maybin stole 40 bases and hit .264.  In 2012, he stole 26 bases and hit .243.  That difference made him a top 30 overall outfielder to a waiver wire guy.  Well, I’m here to tell you — and I am here — last year he was unlucky with BABIP and should hit closer to .260.  Extra times on base and his steals should go up.  He’ll only be 26 years old this year, so there’s really no reason to doubt his ability to bounce back.  Why is he ranked so low then?  Cause in a good year, he’s still only going to hit .265 with less than ten homers.  Continue into the top 80 outfielders for 2013 fantasy baseball.  2013 Projections:  78/9/52/.257/28

  1. Catnippy says:
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    For a guy who would’ve won the batting title had he qualified, your .265 projection for Melky’s average seems pretty pessimistic. Sure, his BABIP will go down a fair amount, but I have a hard time seeing him batting below .290.

    • apoxonbothyourhouses says:
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      @Catnippy: as a Braves fan, I have a hard time seeing him hit ABOVE .220.

      potatoes potatoes.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Catnippy: Be interesting to see what he does off of PEDs…

  2. Bombo Rivera says:
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    You’re projecting a HR for Ben Revere? That seems awfully optimistic. . .

    Vegas has the over/under on Ben Revere HRs at zero.

    • Steve says:
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      I think Grey is betting on a drunk scorekeeper in Phillie.

  3. LA Sound Guy says:
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    “Seriously, you won’t be able to throw a rock next year without hitting a guy that could give you 7-15 homers and 20-30 steals. Speaking of which, we should have a name for these type of players in the glossary. Feel free to suggest in the comments”.

    “Fly Swatter”
    “Klepto-Hitsmall”
    “The Quick and the Dead Ball”
    “Diet Poke”
    “Shit and Run” (sorry – it’s late.)

    • EDUB says:
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      @LA Sound Guy:
      Klepto-Hitsmall, nice

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @LA Sound Guy: Ha.. I like Diet Poke and Klepto Hitsmall…

  4. You'rekillingmeSmalls! says:
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    Jack and flash(jfagnof)

    Too long but……. Guys who will be in my inbox all season. Example: DeAza, Venable, and random crappy waiver starter for Braun and Kershaw. I hate this game sometimes.

    Inbox guys
    Kids menu (smaller portion of slam amd leggs)

  5. JV says:
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    Gomez ok to have as fifth outfielder is other 4 are Bautista Jones Jennings and Adrian Gonzalez? I am keeping him and the others other than Gonzalez. If he sucks I can just bench him as our league doesn’t allow us to just load up on bench pitchers and start everybody. I feel like Gomez can repeat…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @JV: Could, seems doubtful…

  6. griff says:
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    Grey,
    In a dynasty league, which OF do you think has more upside- Carlos Gomez or Dyan Viciedo?

    I guess the big question is do either of them have room to breakout at this point or do you think what we’ve seen is what they are?

    • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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      @griff: I like Viciedo.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @griff: Gomez… Not much more room than what he did last year…

  7. RandomItalicizedVoice says:
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    Hey all,

    Good vibes and bad farts! That should be an RCL name this year.

    Anyway…I’m still looking for a few managers for the RCL champions league that I will be running this year. It will be an RCL league, the only requirement being that you had won your RCL league in 2012. There are still a few spots left, so shoot me an email if interested. We already have the 2012 RCL expert league winner signed up, as well as the 2011 overall RCL winner (which would be yours truly ), and also 1 of Grey’s ~2 female readers (yes, she won her RCL last year!).

    takecareofyourshoes@gmail.com

  8. Jon says:
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    No Rasmus in the top 60, huh? Will we see him tomorrow?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Jon: If there was a post from me tomorrow…

  9. fri-guy says:
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    The OF’s you’re talking about are “soapbox racers”, they sure run downhill fast, but they have no real power backing them up.

    • mauledbypandas says:
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      @fri-guy: reminds me of the pinewood derby.

      • fri-guy says:
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        @mauledbypandas: exactly, just big enough for people to drive/sit in.

        • Jay29 says:
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          @fri-guy: Soapbox racers seems more appropriate for guys like Revere, Bourn, EverCab, etc…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @fri-guy: I like Klepto Hitsmalls better…

      • Todd25 says:
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        @Grey: How about a “cobb salad” – ty cobb basically avg 15 hr and 40 steals a season (but with a .366 avg), so salad would make them ‘less satifying. or maybe a “spark plug” in honor of our founding father Pedroia the ultimate 15 hr 20 steal guy.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          I like Keanu better…

  10. Snake Hips says:
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    Term for little power, quick guys: Benny the Jet? That fictional character from the Sandlot would be that type of player if he were real…

  11. Snake Hips says:
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    Or players on a “slim-fast” diet

  12. Brickroad says:
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    What do you think of keeping David Ortiz in the 8th round, 12 team 5×5 standard, year 2 of a 6 year keeper? Think I can do better in this spot?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Brickroad: I think he’s fine there, but I don’t know your options…

  13. Mr. Merkin says:
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    What about calling these guys ’727s’ like the planes. 727s were originally designed for passenger use in first world countries but due to noise restrictions are now used only for passenger service in third world countries (bad teams) and cargo services (utility player/waiverish fill in). 727s are built for short to medium trips (you don’t want to rely on these guys all year). There is limited upside to 727s as newer better and more consistant models have been developed.

    http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boeing_727

  14. identity fraud says:
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    “Seriously, you won’t be able to throw a rock next year without hitting a guy that could give you 7-15 homers and 20-30 steals. Speaking of which, we should have a name for these type of players in the glossary. Feel free to suggest in the comments”.

    *maybe 30 steals is too high for this 1st label, but….

    1. Slap and tickle hitter — (your run of the mill slap and tickle hitter, he’s okay but it’s definitely not business time (business time – player’s stats/projections worth getting excited about)

    2. Puss and boots —- (weak power, but with steals)

    • JoeC says:
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      @identity fraud: Ha, “Puss n’ boots”. That’s awesome.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @identity fraud: I like Slap and Tickle, it’s in the running…

  15. doghat666 says:
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    12 team 5×5 roto league, would you rather have:
    Kinsler, Samardzija & Nathan, or
    CLee, BJUpton & WRosario

    • Wallpaper Paterson says:
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      @doghat666: Tough one. I’d probably go with the Bupton package.

    • DansUggla says:
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      @doghat666:

      Cliff lee side… not close in my opinion.

  16. Goldie Pawn says:
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    I am surprised Lorezo “Citizen” Cain isnt in this grouping.

    • Sideshow says:
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      I agree w Goldie Pawn, no Cain? No Wil Myers?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Goldie Pawn: The last tier continues into the next post, wink, wink, nudge, nudge…

  17. Jim says:
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    “MIA’s”, Mediocres In Action

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Jim: Think we have better ones above…

  18. Mike says:
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    I don’t remember seeing Jason Kubels name, he’s not top 60?

  19. Jim says:
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    Blueballers, they almost get you there but you end icing your marbles down

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Jim: Think we have better ones above…

  20. chief says:
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    I understand the apprehension on Carlos Gomez and the power is probably a mirage but he had a 2nd half that was pretty awesome. I wouldn’t say your ranking is way off, by any means, but i can’t see myself taking Dexter Fowler or Victorino over him.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @chief: He’ll need to start the year hot, otherwise he’ll be unownable…

  21. DansUggla says:
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    Grey, I love the rankings. I love, more so, listening, er, reading how people disagree with where you put certain fellas. Robots need not play fantasy baseball, isn’t that why fantasy football exists?

    On to my actual question:
    12 team, h2h, keeper, 5×5, $260, full roster.

    Keep 5 out of:

    Votto $37
    Bumgarner $15
    Latos $14
    Wainwright $10
    Chris Davis $10
    Aoki $10
    Aroldis Chap $5

    Much appreciate. I will now buy you a drink my over-the-internet-acquaintance.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @DansUggla: Thanks! Actually, we have a robot writing fantasy basketball for us… Chapman, Davis, Wainwright, Votto, Bumgarner…

  22. A bunch of switchboarder queens for Yahoo …

    A bad place for speed in deeper leagues that you will definitely over pay for..

    That is unless, you have – the year or 2 years before – dumped into 15 super-duper ironclad bargain keepers and the great wealth that allows one to spend like King Frouk’s long lost son at auction – and it is your only need to waltz to the Yoo-Hoo soda ..

    If you must draft only speed at least try and get some BA love with… Otherwise, it is like a getting rub without a tug .. And always be certain, to check to make sure, he does not use strong perfumes or glitter to avoid domestic problems …

    Who will surprise???… There will be someone!!… I know, I never know… Bummer!!

    Drumroll…………….. My breakout guy here …. …….. …… is Mikey. Saunders at 26 YO – IF, IF, IF, he can get ABs bats in that logjam in the Great Northwest… He is a bargin on this list… If he does get the ABs, he could be the cheapest 20-20 guy at your draft… Think, his BA heads north too…

    Mr. Gray: Could you hurry up and get this over with… I hate OFers

    • @t moore:

      Oups…. I should really check these posts for errors….

      King Farouk…

      with it ….

      bargain……………..

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @t moore: You hate OFs? You better not say you hate SPs next week… I like Saunders, think he could surprise…

      • @Grey: @Grey:
        Mr. Gray: Not really hate… Just tired and bitchy… I just want to beat the ground with my fists when my favorite guys start getting up in value… Then you have to go through the trials and tribulations (hard work and luck) of finding new ones…

        Example: Adam Jones is now a top 10er on your list… He and Cespedes helped float my boat last year… And I will now have to resist grabbing Cespedes too early (and that might not be soon enough – get the picture)… Jones has become an afterthought for the Karate Kids this year – most likely now…

        Off topic: I’m still having nightmares about losing Encarnacion twice off the draft queue line right in front of my turn last year… Shuddering now!!!!

        Now, I have to figure out other options… It would be OK if only your team could call out cut-zies in the draft order…

        I don’t like the shaping up of the OFer lists this year.. Especially, when dovetailing them with the application of the game changing Miyagi method of fantasy BB ….

        The SP-ing is too deep at the top too… Too too many of my good choices are crammed together this year!!!… Last years reasonably ordered picks like Price to Gio to Yu to Cueto are now likely out of reach for a parley knockout combination with another money-in-the-bank arm from the 1ST RD late and 2ND RD… Because, they are all getting up “above” now..

        On the ground – typing between pounding my fists now…

        Or then again, it may be that, Mr. M and me may have seen just too many Fantasy campaigns… It boiling down to choices for us…

        Is that going to be flying with the eagles during the day or soaring with the owls at night – not both any longer for me and Mr. M…

        So it’s enjoying our “Divine Wind” Saki/Scotch medicinal cocktails or getting serious about Fantasy BB again – not both anymore…

        I guess, I could always round-file the old sensei and find a young up and comer to team up with… Hmm!! … Not a bad idea, that…

        And please, not the standard comment of “a little whine with that cheese, sir”…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          @t moore: Ha! Just think you’ll be able to draft SPs for days… There’s about 400 good ones…

  23. Random Collmenter says:
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    Keanu Biebs

    (Speed + no muscles)

    • Snake Hips says:
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      Hahahahahahah

      • Random Collmenter says:
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        @grey, haha thanks!

  24. royce! says:
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    How about Spanish Flyers? Bc they’re all sorta like Span, you take a flyer on them, and they steal bases…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I prefer Keanu Biebs…

      • royce! says:
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        @Grey: You and your Bieber love…it’s blinding you to the reality that “Spanish Flyers” is freaking brilliant! (Actually, it’s just a recycled term from when you were looking for a nickname for Span- since I recalled you referring to him as a cheap Victorino (“The Flyin’ Hawaiian”), I thought “Spanish Fly” would work.)

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          @royce!: Yeah, these guys were Feign Victorino’s mostly…

  25. Todd25 says:
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    LOL, just read the melky spot. i’m in 10-teamers so i originally stopped reading at brantley. but shizz, that may be the best player spot you have written yet, saved the best for last. the internet is a wonderland of unique bored creatures talking nonsense (just like with alice!)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ha, thanks!

      • Nelson Santovenia says:
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        @Grey: @Grey: @Grey: @Grey: @Grey:

        But the Biebs part assums no power. if your talking about 5-7 HR guys, they need some power

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          @Nelson Santovenia: Power over the ladies, right? Need to run it by Rudy anyway…

  26. Jim says:
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    One more then I’m done. Billy Barty’s, at seasons end their stats come up a little short.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Hehe… I still like Keanu better…

  27. LA Sound Guy says:
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    One more –

    Hits-turd Stealer

    Not quite the Pop Icon of Keanu Biebs, but I thought it might make the bulletin board of finalists.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ha…Sounds a bit like Otto Titsling… I like Keanu Beibs better…

      • LA Sound Guy says:
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        @Grey: It’s so addictive. I have to stop!

        “Joe Biden” – Running mate with no real power.

        • LA Sound Guy says:
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          Or “Veep”, I suppose.

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            @LA Sound Guy: I like Joe Biden or Veep a lot, maybe more esoteric than funny though…

  28. prezii says:
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    That video… Was… Fuckin… Awesome!! I thought it was gonna be you dancing with some korean woman.. which would have been more than acceptable.. but that had me rollin! Genius, i tell ya!!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @prezii: I’m surprised you’re first person to mention it… Gangnam style!

      • prezii says:
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        @Grey: you shouldnt be surprised at all… Technically.. gangnam style!

        P.s. my input on the glossary word… Muscle hustler! Although i think the biebs one is pretty good.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Maybe Gangnam Style got passe and I didn’t hear about it… Bunch of haters… I think Biebs is better…

          • Sky

            Sky says:
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            @Grey: I’ve been trying to give you tips on being hip, Grey. At least I got you away from doing the Dougie.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              @Sky: I’m I still doing the Bernie?

              • Sky

                Sky says:
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                @Grey: That’s been dead for years…ZING!

                • prezii says:
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                  @Sky: niceee!

          • prezii says:
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            @Grey: it was just because carnac and i hadnt been here yet! Haha that is awesome tho. How did that masterpiece happen??

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              A commenter posted it on the site for my birthday… I forget who…

              • prezii says:
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                @Grey: whoever it was they deserve an oscar… So great! Man, i wish someone would put my head on psy… :(

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  I just thought of a great piece of art work… A totem pole with only carvings of Psy’s head all the way, 100 feet high… Who can we get to do that?

                  • prezii says:
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                    @Grey: and on every face he has to have different accesories! Does jon rauch still have a job? Im sure he can help us out!

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Hahahaha…. “Hey, Jon Rauch’s agent, was wondering what your client’s carving skills are like…”

            • prezii says:
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              @prezii: sky!!!!! What the hell is going on…. Is it august already? Have i beenin a coma??

              • Sky

                Sky says:
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                @prezii: Nope! Unlike Grey, I’m not a one-trick fantasy pony. It’s baseball that brought me into this world and it’s the one that’s going to take me out if I ever leave it. I just happen to play that fantasy football thing pretty well too. You’ll see some baseball content from me over the course of the pre-season here while still working on the football side.

                • prezii says:
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                  @Sky: cool man. Happy to have you here! Im glad, cuz now i have two idiots to screw up my fantasy teams this year! Haha jk :D

                  • Sky

                    Sky says:
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                    @prezii: That’s exactly what Grey keeps me around for. Glad I’m doing you a disservice!

                    • prezii says:
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                      @Sky: ur disservice makes me nervous but you and grey deserve it!

  29. BenDover says:
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    The list wouldn’t be complete without a hair band shout out…
    “Faster Pussycat”

    • OaktownSteve says:
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      @BenDover:

      band reference but even more importantly a Russ Meyer shout out.

      • BenDover says:
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        @OaktownSteve:

        I wonder if the chicks in Vixen knew the dudes in Faster Pussycat

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @BenDover: Don’t think it’s better than above suggestions…

  30. OaktownSteve says:
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    I’m not feeling the “Keanu Biebs”. I thought the point was not that they had no power nor that they were super speed, but just a little of both. These aren’t Evereth Cabreras.

    That being said, I got nothing so who am I to open my yap.

    We like a lot of the same guys this year. Hasn’t always been the case. I’ve got Michael Saunders on my sneaky list also.

    • OaktownSteve says:
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      @OaktownSteve:

      I’d call them 5th Business. 5th Business is a great term to know regardless. Just somebody to move the plot along. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern.

      “Those roles which, being neither those of hero nor Heroine, Confidante nor Villain, but which were none the less essential to bring about the Recognition or the denouement were called the Fifth Business in drama and Opera companies organized according to the old style; the player who acted these parts was often referred to as Fifth Business.
      —purportedly Tho. Overskou, Den Danske Skueplads
      Davies was pressured by his publisher to provide some clear idea of what exactly “Fifth Business” was, and so Davies affixed this opening quotation, which was taken at face value for many years. Only in 1979, when the book’s Norwegian translator failed to find the citation did Davies admit it was his invention.”

      http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fifth_Business

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        @OaktownSteve: That’s really smart shizz right there… I like it cause it makes me seem smart for liking it, doesn’t necessarily make me chuckle…

        • OaktownSteve says:
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          @Grey:

          It’s not funny but is dead on for somethings. Me and Mrs. Oaktown are fond of referring to folks on the periphery of our lives as 5th biz.

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Never heard that term before but I do really like and know some people that would fit in the definition…

    • Random Collmenter says:
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      @OaktownSteve

      Maybe “not much muscles” would have been a more appropriate description.

      The sad thing is, I’m pretty sure Bieber could kick my ass.

      • OaktownSteve says:
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        @Random Collmenter:

        He could definitely pay somebody to kick it.

        At least yours is funny, which afterall is basically the point.

  31. STEVE B says:
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    Wheres Rudy been ?

    • I’ve been hunkered over a computer prepping a bunch of cool stuff for 2013. Stay tuned!

  32. fri-guy says:
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    Last shot…what about “middle-sized-guys” in honor of the medium sized hockey player on old school Nintendo Ice Hockey. They were the medium sized and had more speed than the fat ones and more muscle than the skinny ones, but on the whole not quite enough to get the job done.

    • beardcrabs says:
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      @fri-guy: i loved that game… and the soccer game…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @fri-guy: Don’t think it’s better than what we have…

  33. Scolli03 says:
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    A vote for Kelpto Hismall!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I hear ya, I like Klepto Hitsmall or Keanu Biebs the best so far…

  34. Reno 911 says:
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    I know there are better, but one of these guys could be called a “Michael De Pagan.” Puss and boots my fave.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I like Klepto Hitsmall or Keanu Biebs the best so far…

  35. prezii says:
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    What the hell grey?? Theres a limit on comments for one thread?? This is dissapointing… I lked the good ol days where there would be only room for two letters at the end of the comment.. how are we suppose to talk senseless BS all the time on one thread?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Is there limits? I’m commenting from my phone while sipping a daiquiri on the island of Barbados….

      • prezii says:
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        @Grey: nice.. cheers man. Captain morgan for me… But yeah it cut me off after about 7 replies. the option to reply is gone on that thread now. Just dissappeared on me.. sad grey.. sad…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          That is sad… Tell Cap’n M., ahoy for me!

          • prezii says:
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            @Grey: he lifted his left onto the bar and saluted.. guess he knows you..

          • Steve says:
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            @Grey: I think 10 replies is the limit. Opal told me, I think.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              What a bummer.

  36. Di Ro says:
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    This is a keeper league with 6-7 more years.

    I need pitching help, bad! I only have Sabathis as a worthy keeper.

    I would trade my Trout for his Price and Cain
    Or
    My Trout and Teixeira for his Price, Cain and Harper

    I am so torn on this, but the guy is a Angels fan so I am trying to get the better of this deal. Is it wrong to feel so wrong about trading Trout!?

    • costaricanchata says:
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      @Di Ro:

      quickly accept the harper deal , before he changes his mind .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I don’t know how deep the league is but you don’t need big time pitchers in most leagues…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Oh, yeah, that Harper deal is solid for you, do it…

  37. trick dad says:
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    Wizard de aza…no real special “power” but still helps you out

  38. Birrrdy! says:
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    “Spam & Legs”

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ha, not bad… Hate to tread so close to Slam & Legs, might get too repetitive…

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @Grey: I like the use of spam, becuase you can live off of it but you are not going to enjoy it that much also its something you just don’t want to eat every day kinda like playing these guys. so they are “spamtastic”

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Eh, I’m not feeling it, but Rudy’s shot down everything else…

          • Jack Full of Hate says:
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            @Grey: rudy is tough, my buddy still uses bichetter when talking about hitters at coors.

  39. Jack Full of Hate says:
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    not sure if you got you term for this “-15 homers and 20-30 steals. Speaking of which, we should have a name for these type of players in the glossary. Feel free to suggest in the comments” I am to lazy to read most others comments and frankly, I just don’t care.

    half-sag – they will hit half as many home runs as stolen bases. also it kind of resembles the ridiculous pants style that MLB players use. Speaking of pants, I was harassing one of the kids I know at my regular watering hole about his “skinny” jeans and how he might as well put on a pair of his girlfriends tights, because its about the same thing, masculinly speaking, I think he wanted hit me. any the who, maybe the ridiculous jean fashion will get back to baseball and they will start wearing proper baseball pants.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Eh, not feeling half-sag either… You should tell kids who sag their pants that the trend of sagging one’s pants started in prison as an easy way to tell another inmate you like anal sex… True story…

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
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        @Grey: glad I never was a sagger, so when you see a girl out and she has the coin slot showing she is telling you to put in her butt?

        • Jack Full of Hate says:
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          @Jack Full of Hate: what about sagger for the term, it a sad version of sagnof, with a little pop and they make you feel like you’re taking it where the sun don’t shine

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Don’t think it’s there yet…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Ha, exactly…

          • Jack Full of Hate says:
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            @Grey: Its haerd to find the right term for something so boring, we have yawnstipating and i love the Port manteaus. these guys are just donny dullards. hey, what about donny dullards?

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Ha… Not bad… Rudy suggested splugster… A Speedster/slugger.. But they’re not really sluggers…

              • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                @Grey: not at all, they ae boring and unexciting, thats why this is tough. see if rudy likes it.

                Splugster would be better for your 20/30 – 25-40 guys. these guys are quick and come around with a HR once a month, like aunt flo. Huh, what about speedflo, floquick, flospeed, flashflops, flojacks, flodash…I got nothing

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Hmm… Flo Mo Flo?

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Grey: why does it say my comment is awaiting moderation?

                    was I vulgar?

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Yeah, I saw that too… Not sure, but it’s not anymore…

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Grey: or just mo flo, like as in mofo, because this is how I feel about having tham on my team.

                    used in a sentence, I hate having Alejandro De Aza, he is such a moflo!

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      That actually is pretty good… Let me see if I can get it by Rudy…

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Grey: nice…I’m commenting off another one because we have our limit now…I’m crossing my fingers like a giddy schoolgirl

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Grey: moflo – a hitter that steals alot more bases than hits homers, which visit your team like aunt flo. Oh and you hate having on your team

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Yeah, Rudy didn’t go for it… Liked Slugster better, which isn’t terrific in itself…

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Grey: I think you guys need a third vote, no offense but slugster is a good name that would be better suited for a different type of player. i’m starting to think Rudy doesn’t like me

                    • Splugster is just okay, agreed. don’t really think there’s a real need for a glossary term here. If it takes a lot of explanation, it’s not a great term. Nothing personal…

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Grey: yeah, i got Rudy to make an appearance, I’m blushing a little. I’m relieved its not personal. I actually like splugster for the 20 -30 guys, its got a creepy college slang for what you do with your one night stands.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
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                      Yeah, it does sound like some form of snowballing…

                  • Jack Full of Hate says:
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                    @Grey: yo Tommy, how did you do at the party last night, well i took that broad I was talking up back to my place and gave her the old splugster….you dirty mother fu…

      • Jack Full of Hate says:
        (link)

        @Grey: what about sagger for the term, it a sad version of sagnof, with a little pop and they make you feel like you’re taking it where the sun don’t shine

  40. Terrence Mann says:
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    #4 pick in a 2 catcher league. Cano is fine, right?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      If you don’t want one of the guys I have before him, sure…

      • Terrence Mann says:
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        @Grey: I’ll roll with McCutcheon .

  41. Will says:
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    Should I keep Kinsler or Headley as my final keeper? Also, should I keep J.Montero or B. Hamilton as my rookie keeper?

    Thanks

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Kinsler… Billy Hamilton…

  42. Z says:
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    Sorry so late to the party. Thanks for the giant OF list. Really amazing and helpful. 2 specific questions, if you have a moment to share your opinion…

    Who do you like better for the next two years: Alex Gordon for $12 or Jason Heyward for $25?

    And which side of this deal do you like : Bourn/Romo/Niese for Peavy/ChrDavis/Hughes?

  43. Steve says:
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    Razzball. So educational.

Comments are closed.