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Before we move our 2010 fantasy baseball rankings to the pitchers, we look at the top 5 utility players for 2010 fantasy baseball.  These players are only eligible at DH aka Utility.  Frankly, I don’t think you should draft any of these designated hitters.  They don’t allow enough flexibility.  For example, what if you had David Ortiz clogging up your Utility spot last year and you really wanted to pick up Ben Zobrist?  You would’ve been wretched, retching on all fours to borrow from The Decemberists.  These guys have no position eligibility for fantasy baseball.  As with past rankings posts, this top 5 for 2010 will be broken up into tiers, and their 2010 projections will be included.  Anyway, here’s the top 5 utility players for 2010 fantasy baseball:

1. Vladimir Guerrero – This is the first tier.  This tier goes until Matsui.  I call this tier, “They were good at one time.  No more.”  If you’re drafting Vlad to clog up your utility spot, then you’re assuming he’s going to bounce back.  So my question to you is, a bounce back to what?  The last time he stole more than 5 bases was in 2006.  That was when he had three working legs and didn’t walk like Ron Kovic.  The last time he hit above 30 homers was also in 2006.  The last two years Vlad hasn’t hit above .303.  As evidenced by the participants of HBO’s Real Sex, swingers don’t age well.  2010 Projections:  70/26/95/.290/3

2. David Ortiz – Right now, Ron Blomberg is rolling over in his Barcalounger in disgust.  It is most certainly not the age of the DH.  Like Vlad, if you draft Papi, you’re hoping for a bounce back.  Again, I don’t think it’s coming.  See Mo Vaughn’s career for further proof.  2010 Projections:  70/27/90/.265

3. Hideki Matsui – He probably won’t give you much different numbers than the first two guys on this list.  Matsui might be the only bargain in the DHs.  Still doesn’t mean I’d draft him.  2010 Projections:  70/24/80/.285

4. Travis Hafner – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until the end of the rankings.  I call this tier, “Don’t even think about drafting them.” Okay, multiple choice question.  Which of these are actual quotes by Hafner?  A)  I’ll be fully healthy for the 2008 season.  B)  I’ll be fully healthy for the 2009 season.  C) I’ll be fully healthy for the 2010 season.  D)  My head weighs 17 pounds.  If you answered A, B and C, you’re right.  That doesn’t make D any less accurate.  2010 Projections:  50/18/65/.270

5. Pat Burrell – Unless your league has a NSFW category, Burrell isn’t worth owning.  2010 Projections:  65/24/75/.245