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The royal we already went over all the hitters for 2014 fantasy baseball rankings.  That’s not the “royal we” as that term usually implies.  It was me writing it alone while wearing a Burger King crown.  I refuse to draft a top starter where they are usually drafted.  Unlike hitters, you need six starters, depending on your league depth.  Simple math tells us there’s plenty of starters to go around.  Simple Math, “Don’t put words in my mouth!”  In most leagues, there’s a ton of guys on waivers that can help you — all year.  Not just in April, and then they disappear.  With the help of the Stream-o-Nator (it’s not populated right now because there’s no scheduled games), you can get by with, say, three starters while streaming the rest.  To read more about streaming as a draft strategy.  Rudy’s also going to be doing a post shortly about streaming hitters and starters.  There’s also the fact that three stats by starters are difficult to predict due to luck.  Wins, ERA and WHIP are prone to shift due to which way the ball bounces and whether or not the guys behind the pitchers can score runs.  Finally, the best starters can give you four categories.  The best hitters can give you five categories.  If you don’t trust my rankings, you should.  As always, where I see tiers starting and stopping are included and my projections.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 starters for 2014 fantasy baseball:

1. Clayton Kershaw – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Bumgarner.  I call this tier, “They’re great, I won’t own them, let’s Patty Cake while others are drafting them.”  There’s more pitchers than Michael J. Fox can shake a stick at.  In some leagues, you could do fine not drafting any starters.  Look at me having faith in you.  We’ve bonded through the years!  Now, I’m not talking H2H leagues where you can carry only relievers.  I’m talking 10 or 12-team roto leagues where you can stream starters.  Maybe you own one starter and stream five spots.  Maybe you own two guys and stream four spots.  Maybe you drink seven cups of coffee and stream all day.  But even if you want to draft an entire rotation and hold them (or try to), you don’t need a guy from this tier.  There’s plenty of options later to fill out your rotation so you’re competitive in leagues where you can’t stream.  I’m not suggesting you Reggie Roby starters.  I’m telling you to Reggie Roby top starters.  Concentrate on your hitting while these guys are being drafted.  As for Kershaw, I went over him in the top 20 for 2014 fantasy baseball.

2. Yu Darvish – You know a guy had a prettay, prettay good year when you expect regression and you still project him for 238 Ks.  No FUPA here.  Lean, mean, K’ing machine.  If F-Her is King Felix, Darvish should be The K’ing.  Last year, Darvish missed a start due to injury and had 277 Ks.  Oh, eff me that’s beautiful.  That’s like a Cougar standing over one of those water fountains at Universal Studios that shoots water up from the sidewalk.  What?  It’s my fantasy.  Leave me alone.  If Darvish drops even a half a strikeout per nine, his walk rate could catch up to his ERA, driving his ERA up about a quarter of a run, which would push him to around 3.10-ish, so be careful (if you completely defy me and draft him).  2014 Projections: 17-10/2.78/1.11/238

3. Felix Hernandez – The really crazy thing (not that crazy) is for the last few years I keep saying F-Her has actually been better than his Cy Young year in 2010 when he had a 2.27 ERA even though his ERAs since then have been 3.47, 3.06 and 3.04.  Last year was more of the same.  Actually much more.  He had the best year of his career for K-rate and walk rate.  Here’s a secret for you, ignore ERA and WHIP and look at K-rate and walk rate.  When they’re both elite, the pitcher’s elite.  BTW, did you know there was a word pelite?  And I just beat you in Words With Friends, sorry.  2014 Projections: 16-4/2.82/1.10/224

4. Max Scherzer – We missed him last year.  That was our window to own him.  Or, rather, I missed him last year.  Maybe you had him.  Now, I can’t own him.  I mean… I can.  Okay, this goes for all of the guys in this tier.  If they fall a few rounds past where they should’ve been drafted then I can see getting them— Oh, who am I kidding?  That’s a pipe dream like Pookie from New Jack City would have.  There’s no way Scherzer is falling, or any of these guys.  Scherzer and I will see each other again one day, probably a year after he gets unlucky on BABIP or FIP or some other acronym that will get you scoffed at by Murray Chass.  “I got your FIP right here.”  That’s Murray Chass as he bends over and moons you.  The good news is there’s plenty of guys that will be this year’s Scherzer that you can draft later.  2014 Projections:  17-8/3.01/1.12/232

5. Stephen Strasburg – He’s going to be 25 years old this year and the only thing stopping him from winning a Cy Young is health and wins.  Could come any year.  This year is as good as any.  That doesn’t mean there isn’t some room for concern.  Last year, his K-rate dropped almost two Ks per nine.  Thankfully, his K-rate is still over nine.  You’re welcomefully, to not draft him either way.  2014 Projections:  16-7/2.79/1.04/202

6. Adam Wainwright – Between the regular and postseason last year, he pitched 276 2/3 IP.  That’s over 39 bags of ice for his shoulder, which when melted is the cubic weight of the Tigris River.  The Tigris River is also what Tiger Woods’s third most hired prostitute called his urethra.  Any of this seem like a coincidence?  I don’t think so either.  Wainwright doesn’t get you 230+ Ks, but he does give you quality start after quality start and a minuscule walk rate with an 8+ K-rate.  I’d safely invest in him if I invested in top arms.  2014 Projections:  17-10/2.88/1.05/204

7. Madison Bumgarner – Imagine Meryl Streep and her children, Cliff Lee and Madison Bumgarner, are seized by Nazis.  The Nazi guard, let’s call him General Sauerjerkoff, tells Meryl that she can only keep one child.  She might think it’s best to tell General Sauerjerkoff she wants to keep Cliff Lee due to his tremendous, ongoing track record, but Madison Bumgarner is only 24 years old and has stats trending in the right direction.   It’s a Sophie’s Choice no one wants, and I don’t envy Meryl one bit, but Bumgarner is a beast that is actually getting better.  Of course, you shouldn’t draft either, so Gen. Sauerjerkoff can have them both.  Leave me Taijuan Walker, Sauerjerkoff.  2014 Projections:  16-10/2.91/1.09/201

8. Cliff Lee – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Verlander.  I call this tier, “Semantics.”  What I mean by the tier name is I wouldn’t draft Lee and Verlander, and they’re probably elite, so they could’ve just been put in the above tier, but they felt slightly below those top-top guys.  Either way, it’s semantics (the tier).  At some point Cliff Lee’s career will fall off the, uh, cliff, but so far there’s no huge red flags with his peripherals.  The Adverb’s velocity did come down a tad in 2013, so if you’re looking for a reason to not draft him, there’s one.  Another reason, he slept with your wife while you were selling aluminum siding through the Midwest.  Sorry, don’t shoot the messenger.  2014 Projections:  15-10/3.12/1.07/205

9. Justin Verlander – It’s usually a good rule of thumb that if a starter is getting into his thirties and shows a drop off, now’s not the time to buy into him.  Last year, he had a 3.46 ERA, which in the grand scheme things isn’t that bad.  A 3.46 ERA is manageable.  He was actually lucky to have an ERA that good.  His fastball velocity fell from 94.3 to 93.3 and his walk rate was above 3 while his K-rate fell below nine.  Again, not terrible numbers when compared to most pitchers.  Not great when compared to Verlander and/or the perception of Verlander.  With all that said (here comes the reversal), he had a terrible May, giving up 19 earned runs in 26 2/3 IP.  Throw out that month, he had a 3.05 ERA on the year.  Also, in the month of May, his BABIP was .439, so that’s very unlucky.  In September, his ERA was 2.27 and in the postseason his numbers were 0.57 ERA and 0.39 WHIP with 31 Ks in 23 IP.  I’m not drafting Verlander if he’s going early, but I see no reason why he can’t get right back to where he was in 2012.  2014 Projections:  16-9/3.15/1.09/224

10. Jose Fernandez – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Teheran.  I call this tier, “I could see drafting one of these guys if they’re there (stutterer!).”  One thing I can tell you that applies to all pitchers, don’t fear youth.  By the time most pitchers are thirty, their stuff will be declining and they’ll need to change their approach.  In their early twenties, it’s all fire and brimstone and gas and filth and pompous word choices by Keith Law and Mr. Boombastic very fantastic and arm strength.  You want guys that are nasty when they’re young.  Now, often when a guy is very young they have problems controlling their filth/stuff/noun.  Jose Fernandez doesn’t have that problem.  A guy who is twenty-one years old with a 9+ K-rate and a league-average walk rate is someone you can trust.  2014 Projections:  12-5/2.70/1.06/207

11. Chris Sale –  With Harvey out for the year, Sale has the best peripherals in the game.  I’ve gone over this before so if you’ve heard it just skip ahead to the comments and compliment me on my mustache.  A pitcher with a 9+ K-rate and a 3 walk rate is an ace.  A pitcher with a 9+ K-rate and a 2 walk rate is on the short list for Cy Young.  A pitcher with a 9+ K-rate and a sub-2 walk rate can do anything he wants, including sexual things to me.  Sale had a 9.49 K-rate and a 1.93 walk rate.  Pitchers that met that criteria last year?  Harvey and Sale, that’s it.  F-Her, Kershaw and The Adverb were close.  They were throwing horseshoes and hand grenades at how good Harvey and Sale were.  If Harvey didn’t get hurt, he’d be a top three pitcher this year.  Sale was essentially as good, but I’m just hoping to get him this late.  2014 Projections:  12-9/2.89/1.09/217

12. Anibal Sanchez – When isolating the lowest xFIPs and the highest K-rates, two pitchers remain — Yu and Anibal, which sounds like a Japanese children’s book.  “Read it to me again from the point where he appears on a wacky game show to recover the money he lost in the corporate fraud scandal.”  Anibal doesn’t have any other seasons where he recorded a 9.99 K-rate, except last year, but I’m willing to be his huckleberry that he can hold at least a 9 K-rate and keep his walk rate around 2.70.  Combined, those numbers get you an ace.  2014 Projections:  15-10/3.04/1.14/206

13. Alex Cobb – Yeah, I’m ranking Cobb higher than any other ‘pert in the history of the world.  I wonder this, this I wonder, Grey I am.  Would you prefer I rank guys for last year now?  Last year’s over.  Sorry, I know that’s news to some of you.  Cobb can be unhittable.  All through the minors his K-rates were above 9.  This year he’s gonna throw a no hitter.  On July 18th.  First game back from the All-Star break.  He’s also going to have a near-9 K-rate and a sub-3 walk rate.  He doesn’t overpower hitters with 100 MPH gas, but his changeup is unhittable.  He gets a ton of ground balls.  He had the sixth best ground ball rate in the majors.  There’s a real chance he has one of those 2.50-ish ERA seasons and a Cy Young year.  Of course, with ground balls there’s a chance here for some bad luck and his ERA to go up due to seeing-eye base hits.  I’m willing to roll the dice on rollers crapping out.  Wordplay points!  2014 Projections:  15-6/2.96/1.09/189

14. Homer Bailey – Very few pitchers have traveled the route Bailey has in the rankings.  He was flirting with barely a top 50 starter for a few years.  Lurking beneath the surface has been a top prospect that was headed for stardom about ten years ago.  Back in the day, he was voted onto the All-USA high school baseball team in the USA Today, our national paper that has pretty color pictures and easy-to-read polls.  He jumped into the major leagues almost seven years ago at the age of 21.  Then he sucked for about six years and everyone was like, “Homer Bailey is called Homer because he gives up homers and I’m clever and he’s stupid.”  Seven years later, he looks like he could be a top ten starter for the next five years.  His ballpark doesn’t make him quote-unquote safe, but everything is trending in the right direction — his fastball velocity even jumped from 92.5 to 94.1 — and he’s only 27 years old.  I kinda love Homer Bailey.  2014 Projections: 16-4/3.14/1.09/201

15. Julio Teheran – And you thought I was out on a limb with Alex Cobb.  Pfft to that.  I’m out on this Teheran limb real good.  If Teheran fails, it could be epic.  This ranking is not for the lily-livered.  Your liver better be something sturdy like an oak.  In the 2nd half, his ERA was 2.97.  His K-rate for the year was 8.24 and his walk rate was 2.18.  In the minors, he had better rates than even those.  His luck last year with men left on base coupled with his propensity for the long ball could spell D-O-O-M, but I’m willing to believe like Charlie in the Chocolate Factory.  His division rivals — the Mets, Phils and Marlins — are a mess and his team will give him run support.  I see this as the year everyone learns that Teheran isn’t just an Iranian city that makes you want to ptooey, but an ace pitcher.  2014 Projections:  15-7/3.12/1.15/191

16. David Price – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Moore.  I call this tier, “Loved them last year, not so much this year.”  When Price came back from arm injury, his ERA was right back to where we’ve expected it — 2.53 ERA post-injury.  Unfortch, his K-rate was kinda pedestrian and his fastball became a not-that-fast ball.  He did locate pitches better, dropping his walk rate.  Maybe he said, “Eff it, I’m gonna throw 93 MPH instead of 95+ and throw more strikes.”  I don’t know why he’d say that or how that would work.  Sounds like something Tim McCarver would’ve said Price did.  Pitchers don’t take two miles off their fastball to throw an extra seven to nine strikes a game.  It wasn’t like his walks were bad to begin with.  I don’t mind Price, but I think the Rays knew what they were doing when they were aggressively shopping him this offseason.  I’m pretty sure someone else will draft him before me.  2014 Projections:  16-10/3.26/1.11/176

17. Zack Greinke – Another guy I loved last year that I’m just not feeling this year in a non-sexual way.  As with Price, Greinke could win 20 games and have a sub-3 ERA with a little luck, but his peripherals don’t look right.  His K-rate fell all the way to 7.50, which was his worst rate since 2010 when he had a 4.17 ERA.  Unlike 2010 and last year, his fastball velocity was way down.  Last year he averaged 91.7 MPH.  If that were to fall just a hair further, he could be in serious trouble.  Also, his baby-face belies his age, he just turned thirty years old and his build doesn’t strike me as a guy that will go well into his 30’s without changing his approach.  His swinging strike rate was fine last year (a good indicator of strikeouts, obviously), but the deeper we go like a cyclops with a monocle we see hitters are swinging and fouling off his best pitches and not looking at called strikes nearly enough.  Essentially, hitters aren’t scared to face him anymore and why should they be when any Tom, Dick or Quentin can charge the mound and knock him into next month?  He’s not throwing as hard and it’s finding its way into his stats.  He could adapt, or simply repeat last year (which wasn’t bad), but I’d let someone else take the gamble.  2014 Projections:  16-8/3.34/1.17/173

18. Matt Moore – Besides me loving these guys last year, another thing they have in common — all the guys in this tier lost velocity.  Velocity loss isn’t good, obviously, but Moore has bigger problems than Price and Greinke.  He still doesn’t show any indication that he knows where the ball is going.  However, hitters do seem like they know where the pitch is going.  They know the pitch is not going near the strike zone.  They’re not swinging as much, inside and outside the strike zone.  Outside the strike zone is the bigger concern.  If they’re not swinging at balls, they’re taking them and getting ahead in the count or walking.  His percentage of strikes looking did go up.  Unfortch, I take that has a bad sign.  Hitters are going up to bat with a game plan — don’t swing until they have to.  So far, Moore hasn’t made them pay.  He could start throwing more strikes and have a solid year, but he hasn’t shown he can yet.  2014 Projections:  12-9/3.69/1.29/187

19. Gio Gonzalez – This is a new tier.  This tier goes into the top 40 starters for 2014 fantasy baseball.  I call this tier, “I’ll let you be my first fantasy starter if I don’t have one yet.”  To me, Gio’s a low-rent Verlander, and, yes, I’m probably the only one to ever make that comparison.  Gio’s fastball lost a bit of velocity, but it’s still 92+ MPH.  His K-rate fell a bit, but it’s still very high 8’s.  He gained a little on walk rate, but it’s still manageable.  His peripherals for next year look to be in line with Verlander’s, just a hair more on the walk rate.  The thing that really dragged him down last year was his inability to get wins, but it’s ridiculousness like celebrities watching Youtube videos in front of a studio audience to rank a guy based on wins.  Gio won 11 games last year, but 21 games the year before.  In 2014, he could win 20 or 10 or both if parallel universes do exist.  I’m still researching that.  Parallel Universe Grey, “You’re getting warmer.”  2014 Projections:  16-9/3.28/1.19/202

20. Francisco Liriano – I could sit here — and I am sitting — and tell you — and I am telling you — that I don’t fully trust Liriano because of how bad he was in 2011 and 2012, but he looked fixed last year.  It’s a modern miracle performed by Pirates pitching coach, Ray Searage with an assist by David Blaine.  David Blaine, your magic is real and I believe in you!  How is that not a meme?  Was that the greatest quote by a stoned celebrity in the last fifteen years?  Okay, top five maybe.  It sure holds up better than ‘Winning.’  So, Searage being Searage and Liriano not being sewage gets us a 9+ K-rate and a 3.50-ish walk rate.  I’ll take that.  2014 Projections:  14-9/3.24/1.25/188