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Went over the top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball and top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball.  Now, friends, it’s time for the top 20 catchers for 2012 fantasy baseball.  In the past, the top 20 catchers were the glass of warm milk right before you went to sleep.  “Hey, I just drafted A.J. Pierzynski!”  Snooze.  “I love Kurt Suzuki this year!”  Yawn.  But this year, for the first time in a while, there’s actually some catchers that could get your nethers moving.  I don’t draft top catchers in one catcher leagues.  Because I ignore the top catchers doesn’t mean I’m starting the top 20 catcher list at number twenty-one (Carlos Ruiz?  Belch.); some of you might want to know the top catchers.  You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them draft Chris Iannetta.  In two catcher leagues, catchers are a little more valuable, but I’d still prefer to avoid them.  You can see other top 20 lists for 2012 fantasy baseball under 2012 Fantasy Baseball Rankings.  Listed along with these catchers are my 2012 projections for each player and where the tiers begin and end.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2012 fantasy baseball:

1. Carlos Santana – This is the first tier.  This tier goes from here until Mike Napoli.  I call this tier, “You wanna draft a top catcher?  Be my guest!”  Last year, The Supernatural hit 27 homers.  Makes sense.  He stole 5 bags.  Sounds about right.  He hit .239.  Huh?  Does not compute.  Must investigate.  His walk rate tanked from 19.3% to 14.7% and his strikeout rate jumped from 15.1% to 20.2%.  He was a bit unlucky, but his average can’t be explained away by that.  His line drive rate fell, ground ball rate shot up and his infield flies went up.  The assumption around most parts are he’s going to repeat his homers, counting stats and bounce back in the average department in a big way.  He’s talented and young enough for that to happen, but I wouldn’t wager on it.  This is also a whole lot of hot air cause I’d take his last year with a small bump on average and be more than happy.  That’s if I were to draft Santana, which I would not unless he fell.  I don’t draft top catchers.  2012 Projections:  80/25/90/.260/5

2. Brian McCann – The string of me ranking McCann first overall for catchers has come to an end.  Trust me, I tried to justify moving him up for longer than I’d care to admit.  Okay, I’ll admit I only thought it over for three minutes.  But those three minutes were underwater so it felt a lot longer.  What ended up having me leave Carlos Santana above McCann is Santana is younger and has already hit more homers in one season than McCann ever has.  Now, the one thing that has me still as a non-apologetic McCann apologist is he’s only 28 years old and, deep in my loins, I really believe McCann’s gonna hit 30 homers one of these years, and if it’s gonna be any year it may as well be his 28-year-old season, and this is the longest run-on sentence ever, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, I checked.  2012 Projections:  70/25/85/.275/3

3. Matt Wieters – At some point last year I felt as if people weren’t appreciating Wieters, and I began to like him.  It’s tough always swimming against the tide!  Unlike Santana, Wieters actually cut his K-rate and was a bit unlucky to end up with only a .262 average.  He made more solid (solider?) contact last year pushing up his line drive rate while cutting his ground balls.  To throw a random name at you, I think Wieters outperforms Ike Davis in 2012.  To throw a more random name out at you — Mitzi Gaynor.  2012 Projections:  80/24/85/.280

4. Mike Napoli – I hope Mike appreciates I was here for him even when his own manager didn’t want to play him.  When someone needs a makeover, I simply have to takeover.  Nothing is gonna stop Napoli from being pop-ewe-ler…LAR!  That was for our three girl readers.  If any of you ladies like mustaches, dial 1-800-G-R-E-Y-S-T-U-D.  With that said (here comes the negative), Napoli just had his best season.  It was a good one too.  I’m happy for him.  I’m happy for his mom’s nipples.  Still doesn’t change the fact that I need to think about 2012 and not 2011.  The power shouldn’t fall off the map like the earth is flat, but 30 homers is the ceiling.  The bigger problem is his average.  The only time he ever had more than 500 plate appearances in a season he hit .238.  Sadly, that’s repeatable for him.  2012 Projections:  60/25/70/.250/3

5. Buster Posey – This is the next tier.  This tier goes from here until Jesus Montero.  I call this tier, “They could be the top catchers, but they’re not.  Go figure!” From early mock drafts that I’ve seen (I’ve looked y’all!), Posey’s still being overdrafted.  My man could miss three seasons and still get drafted high.  You know, like Joe Mauer.  Posey does seem like the only thing holding him back is avoiding freak injuries (no connection to Lincecum).  But, you know what, I’d like to see him avoid these freak injuries prior to me drafting him anywhere near where he’s going.  2012 Projections:  65/20/75/.300

6. Alex Avila – I expect he’ll have the same exact year in 2012 as he had in 2011.  Yay.  Moving on.  Okay, I’ll say more.  As my life coach tells me, expectations lead to disappointment.  So my expectations are Avila will repeat last year, but he’s also very young (25).  He only has one and three-quarters of a season in the majors.  So does that make him a super sophomore?  Well, hopefully he doesn’t have a super sophomore slump.  See what I did there?  Don’t light that match, I’m cooking with gas!  2012 Projections:  60/19/75/.280/3

7. Joe Mauer – People who still draft this guy high are either more trusting than me or idiots.  It’s well established at this point he’s never repeating his year of 28 homers from 2009.  Frankly, I’d like to see him hit 10 homers again, and don’t call me Frank Lee.  2012 Projections: 80/10/85/.310/3

8. Miguel Montero – What separates Miguel Montero from Jesus Montero?  M-I-G-U-E-L.  C’mon, that was easy.  Oh, and upside.  If you don’t want to take the chance on Jesus’s ability to walk on water and prefer the safer bet, I could see just going for the less flashy Montero.  2012 Projections:  60/17/75/.270

9. Jesus Montero – I had already went over my Jesus Montero 2012 fantasy.  It went something like this blah blah blah I’m smart blah blah blah I’m smart.  Now the post reads like I’m the King of Wishful Thinking after Cashman told him to Go West.  (There’s a terrible 90’s pop song pun in there.  I apologize.) The trade of Montero/Pineda wasn’t great for either player’s fantasy value.  Though it’ll turn out worse for Pineda in the short term.  For Montero, the M’s have a whole lot fewer DH/catcher options so this should actually help him retain (gain?) catcher eligibility a lot easier.  It’s going to hurt his power a tad.  In the Yankees lineup, I had his projections as 70/20/85/.290.  With 677 ABs in the leadoff spot, Ichiro only had 80 runs, so you can see Montero’s counting stats are gonna take a hit.  Also, Safeco, like all -co parks, is no hitter haven.  So you’re going to get a guy that actually can play catcher for fantasy but will have less production.  (Note: He may not have catcher eligibility to start the year, so be very, very careful.  Or not.  Your choice.  I do think he gets the eligibility quickly on the M’s though.)  2012 Projections: 55/17/70/.285

10. Geovany Soto – This is the next tier.  This tier goes from here until Arencibia.  I call this tier, “Low averages and catnip for kidnappers, but I’ll draft them.”  Seriously, are the good catchers going to go on forever?  How deep is this mother-effin’ position this year?  It’s a brand new day, Sting.  “Get your cousins and marry them cause catchers are breeding up in here like rabbits!”  That’s the guy at your draft talking who you can’t believe you were once close friends with.  I’m getting slightly tired of trusting Soto, but he comes at a decent price and I feel like there’s gotta be one season in his bat of neutral luck where he hits for a decent-enough average and power.  Why not this year?  Then we can all say Theo Epstein was the reason and Michael Lewis can write a book about it.  2012 Projections:  60/18/75/.260

11. Wilson Ramos – Okay, stop with all these catchers.  My heart can’t handle it.  They’re all so beautiful.  If you can’t tell, I’m drafting a catcher from this tier if things work out the way they should at drafts.  Last year, Ramos hit 15 homers but that was in only 113 games/389 at-bats.  Extra 100 ABs shouldn’t be hard to come by with a few extra dingers, but I do think Ramos’s owners will not only need to wear ski masks, but will need to set him and forget him as learned in The Ron Popeil School of Catcher Management.  2012 Projections:  55/18/70/.270

12. J.P. Arencibia – You win, catchers!  You are one sexy position this year.  It’s like I’m looking at you in a red-lit room in Amsterdam and can’t decide which one of you I want to screw me.  J.P. which stands for “Just the facts, Paul” looks like a young Napoli.  Now if only his manager would bench him for four of five days the circle will be complete.  Arencibia probably won’t hit above .240 (his K-rate was 27.4%; that’s crazy terrible), but if we join hands and pray maybe, just maybe, he can hit .245.  2012 Projections:  50/21/70/.235

13. Devin Mesoraco – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Suzuki.  I call this tier, “Sexy names with no track record and unsexy names with track records.”  Devin’s one of those sexy names I mentioned about fifteen words ago.  I already went over my Devin Mesoraco 2012 fantasy.  I wrote it while picking lint from between my toes.  2012 Projections:  55/18/65/.280 (<–Optimistic, but whatever)

14. Salavador Perez – UPDATE:  INJURY.  DON’T DRAFT. He will only be 21 years old to start the season.  At catcher, there’s an old credo that I just made up right now that maybe people say but I’m not aware of it.  It goes something like this, “Catchers take a few years to get used to catching and hitting at the major league level.  It’s not an easy position to just jump into.”  Wearing a pithy helmet with that one, I tell ya.  So, as a 21-year-old, you’re going to have some growing pains with Perez.  Incredibly, he has been playing pro ball since 2007 and he makes solid contact.  Could I have ranked Yadier here instead?  Sure, but what fun is that?  2012 Projections:  50/10/65/.280

15. Jarrod Saltalamacchia – I like to think Saltymochachino is a nice bridge between the sexy names in this tier and the unsexy names.  I’m being too generous.  He’s not sexy.  Saltymochachino’s had 5 years to be sexy and he still looks like Phyllis Diller first thing in the morning.  Last year his K-rate was so absurdly bad (30.8%) that he shouldn’t have a starting job.  As of this writing (around December 8th at 4:23 PM), he still did.  Holy crap, it’s now December 12th at 5:35 PM!  Damn, I have to work on typing faster.  Wait, now it’s December 13th and Shoppach just landed in Boston.  Maybe slow typing isn’t bad after all!  Kelly Shoppach will steal time from Salty, but for now Salty looks good for some cheap power and maybe he’ll luck into a decent average.  I mean, Napoli did hit .320 last year.  In.  Sane.  (Yeah, I did that douchey one word into two sentences thing.)  2012 Projections:  45/15/60/.220

16. Ryan Doumit – And just like that the catchers get even less sexier.  Wha’ happened?!  I went over my Ryan Doumit 2012 fantasy already.  I wrote it on the wall of my cell.  If Doumit can scrounge together 500 plate appearances, he could be as valuable as Joe Mauer.  Before you laugh, think to yourself why you’re laughing?  Because you think I’m dumb?  That’s not very nice.  2012 Projections:  45/14/55/.260

17. Russell Martin – Technically, he should be ranked higher than this if he just repeats last year, but there’s the pickle juice that kills you. (Snopes confirmed!)  Martin’s not repeating last year.  If he gets 12 homers, I’ll run around my office naked.  Though, I do work from home and don’t own clothes, so it’s not much of a bet.  2012 Projections:  50/10/60/.240/9

18. Jonathan Lucroy – When you look at Lucroy’s age (25), you think sexy.  Yeah, he doesn’t look like anything other than a Yadier Molina clone, but — and like J. Lo this is a big but — Lucroy’s young enough to maybe fill out a little and add a few more homers.  When you’re this deep, you go for upside and not for Molina. (Notice how I keep talking about Molina but have yet to rank him?  That’ll all change soon.)  2012 Projections:  50/13/60/.260/3

19. Yadier Molina – Hey, is that Diego Rivera catching?  No!  Doc Ock?  Nope!  It’s the other Molina!  Yeah, he’s boring as dog balls.  If you draft Yadier Molina as your catcher, this tells me you don’t care enough to at least draft someone with some upside.  Shame on you and the horse you rode in on.  Beautiful horse, though.  Very regal.  You must watch Downton Abbey.  2012 Projections:  45/9/50/.280/5

20. Kurt Suzuki – Do me a favor and don’t draft him.  How’s dem apples?  Sour!  Suzuki’s never hit more than 15 homers and hasn’t hit above .242 in two years.  You’re expecting a miracle in a crappy lineup in a terrible ballpark?  Maybe Hatteberg can come out of retirement and drive him in 120 times.  You’d like that cause you need happy endings.  Well, then go get a massage!  2012 Projections:  50/12/55/.240/3

After the top 20 catchers for 2012 fantasy baseball there’s a lot of names, but these two stand out:

Victor Martinez – He was originally ranked 6th, but now he has a torn ACL. What a debACLe!  Oh, God, that is rich.  Sounds like he’s gonna miss the whole season, unless you believe in mirACLes.  Seriously, effin’ rich!  2012 Projections: nothing/but/doo/dee

Chris Iannetta – If I knew the Sciosciapath were definitely going to give Iannetta 500 plate appearances, I’d be more excited about drafting him.  But what the hey?!  It’s a catcher; I’ll still take a flyer and see where he goes.  Something no one seems to talk about in their rankings.  You could put “Undecided” ranked 12th on every list and still do fine as long as you don’t take “Undecided” for every position.  Now if you were to draft “Undeclared” you’d be in trouble.  I keed!  Or do I?  No, I do.  To talk you out of drafting Iannetta, even though I think the point is to talk you into drafting him, he’s out of Coors and his home/away splits look like a mural made of turd.  Turd, turd, turd, turd is the word!  Damn, now that’s stuck in my head.  Last three years — he’s hitting .171 in away games.  Whatever, I don’t care if his away average is floating in the toilet waiting for someone to flush it like Lawrence Taylor’s post-football career.  I placed him here to highlight him, but I’d rank him right above Arencibia because a flyer at catcher is fine.  Turd, turd, turd, turd is the word!  Now it’s stuck in your head too.  Sucker!  2012 Projections:  55/16/65/.245/5