It feels like yesterday the baseball regular season started. You wrote “I heart baseball” in permanent marker on your arm, then you met a girl who wrote “I heart guys who heart baseball” on her arm, then, during sex in September, you screamed out “I love you, Marco Scutaro!” and now you don’t have baseball or a girlfriend. C’mon, calendar, make like a soldier and turn to March. The only cure for the post-baseball season blues — recapping the preseason top twenty lists and being hand-fed Doritos. First up, Cool Ranch and our preseason Top 20 Catchers for 2011. It’s important to look back before we look ahead to 2012. To paraphrase the one and only B-Real, “How do you know where you’re at, if you don’t know where you’ve been? Understand where I’m coming from?” It wouldn’t be fair for me to preseason rank the players then rank them again in the postseason based on my opinion, so these postseason top 20 lists are ranked according to ESPN’s Player Rater. It may not be wholly accurate, but it’s wholly unbiased. Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2011 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:
1. Victor Martinez – ESPN’s overweighing average here. I don’t care, he’s not the number one catcher. He’s good, but the number one catcher only has 12 homers? C’mon. I mean, c’mon c’mon. Even c’mon c’mon c’mon. In the bigger picture, he was about as valuable as Jimmy Rollins and Beltran. Weird how four years ago that was probably true too. Not weird as in funny or interesting. Just weird. Preseason Rank #3, 2011 Projections: 70/18/85/.300, Final Numbers: 76/12/103/.330/1
2. Mike Napoli – Eat your heart out, Mike Scioscia! It’s absolutely bonkers that a catcher is ranked this high and some people didn’t even want him on their team for at least two months of the season. He’s basically the reason why the Ron Popeil ‘Set It and Forget It’ catcher strategy was invented. The catcher field is so shallow that you don’t need to do much to be a top ranked catcher, i.e., a guy that doesn’t even play every day can be close to the top ranked catcher. I love you, Napoli, for as much as your stats as for how smart you make me look. Now introduce me to your Moms! Preseason Rank #5, 2011 Projections: 65/24/75/.255/5, Final Numbers: 72/30/75/.320/4
3. Alex Avila – First (and really only) out of nowhere guy to place in the top of the catcher rankings. AA, you are no longer anonymous. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 63/19/82/.295/3
4. Miguel Montero – Never hit more than 4 homers in a month and only had one month over a .300 average. 3 ladies and gentlemen, your 2011 fantasy baseball catchers! Preseason Rank #8, 2011 Projections: 55/15/70/.275, Final Numbers: 65/18/86/.282/1
5. Yadier Molina – He could be next to the definition for yawnstipating in the dictionary, but yawnstipating isn’t a word you find in a dictionary. Yet. Preseason Rank #12, 2011 Projections: 40/7/55/.270/7, Final Numbers: 55/14/65/.305/4
6. Carlos Santana – Pretty weird season from the Supernatural. If you jumped out of a DeLorean and told me he’d have 27 homers this year, I’d say why are you time traveling with that info? Can’t you tell me something could actually make me money? I’d also say Carlos must have a .300 average and be the best catcher. His K-rate went up, walk rate went down, ground ball rate went up, fly ball rate went down, line drive rate went down… Honestly (as if I’d lie to you), you’re pretty lucky you got the homers and counting stats from Santana. This could’ve been a disaster season. Preseason Rank #10, 2011 Projections: 55/15/65/.280, Final Numbers: 84/27/79/.239/5
7. Brian McCann – Every year I will continue to rank him number one. Whether he wants to actually listen to me is between us. I ask that you respect our privacy. Preseason Rank #1, 2011 Projections: 80/25/95/.280/3, Final Numbers: 51/24/71/.270/3
8. Matt Wieters – Had a nice bounce back season, or he had a good August and September that is totally clouding my judgment. I think it’s more the former than the latter, assuming I’m not confusing what former and latter means. I could see ranking him as high as number two for catchers next year. I probably won’t because that sounds insane to me as I write it and that’s how much forethought I had on the matter. Maybe I think about it a little bit. Preseason Rank #6, 2011 Projections: 60/18/85/.280, Final Numbers: 72/22/68/.262/1
9. Russell Martin – I put him in the preseason tier of upside guys because of his tremendous potential. I mean, he only had four straight years of declining homers, RBIs, runs and average. Oh, wait, he was an upside pick because he went to the Yankees. Yeah, made sense then and now. Thank you, genius brain inside my head. Genius Brain Inside My Head, “You’re welcome. Or is it ‘your?’” Preseason Rank #16, 2011 Projections: 70/10/60/.270/10, Final Numbers: 57/18/65/.237/8
10. Wilson Ramos – His walk rate and ISO went up and he’s only 24 years old. I could see him getting a sleeper post in the offseason then hitting 15 homers and a .270 average next year and being valuable in 2012 but still not that interesting. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 48/15/52/.267
11. J.P. Arencibia – This is about where the fun ends for catchers, and really was it that much fun prior to this? Arencibia hit 23 homers and had 78 RBIs, yet as late as mid-September he was only owned in 50% of ESPN leagues. Either a lot of people play in 8 team leagues or a lot of people overvalue average. Next time I’m in a place with a bunch of fantasy baseball nerds, I’ll ask that question. Speaking of which, we should have a Razzball field trip to Vegas this year. Preseason Rank #17, 2011 Projections: 40/15/55/.240, Final Numbers: 47/23/78/.219/1
12. Miguel Olivo – His Hacky McHackstein ways seem to have translated across the whole catcher pool, i.e., most of this top 20 have batting average issues. Preseason Rank #20, 2011 Projections: 45/15/55/.235/7, Final Numbers: 54/19/62/.224/6
13. Chris Iannetta – Let’s give you an idea of how bad/shallow/synonym the catchers are. Iannetta is ranked here and he was replaced by his own team for a few weeks in September. When can I start recapping the 1st basemen? Oh, in my next post. Preseason Rank #15, 2011 Projections: 40/15/60/.245, Final Numbers: 51/14/55/.238/6
14. A.J. Pierzynski – I hate A.J. from a fantasy standpoint. It doesn’t look like I’m alone either since he’s the 14th best catcher and was owned in less than 10% of all ESPN leagues just about the whole year. I think he’s the poster child for all that’s wrong with the ESPN Player Rater. How does a guy who hits 8 homers and 40-ish runs and 50-ish RBIs rank this high? Cause of the decent average? I don’t buy it. Preseason Rank #13, 2011 Projections: 50/12/55/.275, Final Numbers: 38/8/48/.287
15. Jonathan Lucroy – The Brewers backstop had a solid season for him and when you look at his numbers you realize why he wasn’t ranked by me in the preseason. Lucroy, you are Matt Wieters’s po’ boy. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 45/12/59/.265/2
16. Carlos Ruiz – Snooze. Preseason Rank #14, 2011 Projections: 35/10/55/.265, Final Numbers: 49/6/40/.283/1
17. Jarrod Saltalamacchia – In the preseason, I said, “He’s not quite old; he’ll be only 26 years old in 2011. In the last round of draft, you got better things to do than to draft an upside catcher in a hitters’ park and lineup? Yeah, I didn’t think so.” And that’s me quoting me! Preseason Rank #23, 2011 Projections: 55/16/70/.255/5, Final Numbers: 52/16/56/.235/1
18. Ramon Hernandez – If you put Hernandez and Hanigan together, you get a Latino-Irishman — a Leprecano — that has very little fantasy value. Please let Mesoraco catch in 2012. Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers: 28/12/36/.282
19. Kurt Suzuki – In the preseason, I said, “I stared at the screen for three minutes trying to think of something positive to say about Suzuki. What you ended up with was me confessing to you that I had nothing positive to say about him. That about sums it up.” And that’s me still having nothing to say positive about Suzuki! Preseason Rank #11, 2011 Projections: 60/14/70/.260/3, Final Numbers: 54/14/44/.237/2
20. Geovany Soto – I haven’t given up on Soto yet. Sure, this year was miserable. And last year was miserable. And… Was he ever good? I think he was. Never the hoo! Soto and I have high apple pie in the sky hopes, and you can’t take that away from us. Preseason Rank #7, 2011 Projections: 60/18/75/.270, Final Numbers: 46/17/54/.228
Joe Mauer not in the top 20 is kind of ridiculous.
@Ben:
Sorry I misunderstood this, I thought it was for 2012
@Grey I like the idea of a field trip in Vegas! Actually I just came back but am always game! Glad I picked Napoli in most of my leagues this year!
The average thing can really be a killer though in H2H because you can’t wait for the stats to normalize and if anyone is in OPS leagues instead of HR then it almost counts double, i found this out the hard way to start this year. It does prove that those in one catcher leagues have no reason to waste an early pick on one.
Grey, you forgot Mauer you dummy. Oh wait… Crap. No. Argh. Damnit. Never mind.
@wallywojo: yep i took russell martin in my one league, then i dropped him i think due to a slow start for Avila….. it all worked out.
At that position at least.
Hey Grey, hope you’re still doing questions. If so am weighing up whether to keep Ervin Santana aka Big Erv. It costs me more the longer I keep him so am thinking of likely doing a 1 yr deal or none at all. 1 yr costs me $7, is he worth it or could I likely get him cheaper at auction anyway?
Last year was horrible for Geo Soto? Wow, you have some high expectations.
@Howard: Yeah, I think it would be fun. Put some faces to names.
@wallywojo: I think the average thing in H2H is more ignorable.
@TheNewGuy: Sure, $7 is decent for him.
@Jeff Akston: In what way?
I can keep 2 (out of $320 budget auction draft):
D Hudson, $3
J Hanrahan, $4
T Cahill, $3
J Weeks, $7
S Victorino, $12
Any advice at this early stage?
Field trip! I just need to figure out how I can trick my wife into signing the permission slip…
@Grey: I’m in for Vegas, just got back from there last friday,I go twice a year.I actually won a 3 game baseball parlay the 2nd last game of the season,and I rarely bet baseball
Appears Jordan Schafer digs the groovy green stuff… and the peanut butter cups, too.
http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20111004&content_id=25481620&vkey=news_mlb&c_id=mlb
*edit AJ final numbers…
@vinko: Bigger, Higher, Faster…
There is no justice in Fantasy Baseball. The guy that won my league drafted three catchers: Mauer, Wieters, and Santana.
nap … flattened .
ump called the guy safe …. before he even touched the plate
It’s a shame Leprecano was buried in the #18 guy’s blurb.
@Scott: Hudson, Victorino…
@royce!: Ha!
@Doug Ault: Nice! Where’d you stay?
@vinko: Maybe that’s why he seems like he doesn’t care.
@Wake Up: Oops, good catch.
@Wake Up: Ha
@The Den: Wow, not the way to go about it though.
@centralohguy: Ha!
@Grey: The Palazzo this time, loved it,the sports book at the Venitian is really nice too
Moore is reminding me a lot of Kimbrel
@Doug Ault: Oh, very nice. You go high class!
@Wake Up: In what way?
@Grey:
the moment that i read the santana blurb , “something” occurred to me
that will make some future money for you .
later , when you mentioned a field trip , i became frightened by the
prospect of us being on the same page …. (same screen ?) .
here it is :
on your NEXT trip to the craps table , the shooter immediately AFTER your
roll will throw three 8′s .
you will capitalize on this by :
1) placing the 8 for $30 …. (pays $35)
2) parlay that pay-off and add another $25 to the bet … giving you a
$90 eight .
3) when the 2nd eight hits , it pays $105 …. which you also let ride , and
add another $45 to the bet …. giving you a $240 eight .
4) the 3rd eight ($240) pays $280
5) you will immediately say “take me down” .
6) the dealer will hand you a total of $520 , upon which you will
tip him $10 for his efforts .
this will leave you with $510 , but before you get all light-headed and
pass out , remember that $100 of that was “yours” to begin with
($30 + $25 + $45) .
let me know ==> nostradamus or noteddumbazz ?
The Internet Baseball Writers Association of America voted Granderson their AL MVP
Jose Bautista was 6th; Verlander 7th.
@chata: Yeah, but if three 8′s don’t hit? I play $12 6 and 8 and only press occasionally.
@VinWins: Is that a real group?
@Grey: what do you think about Conger’s future? Is it too much for me to hope for him to be “Arencibia”-like in 2012 (or 2013)? I can always hope, right? Cheers!
@Grey: Ha! It must be. I read it on the internet.
@Grey: K’s/9, electric stuff, ROY in 2012…
@Yep, I said it!: You can hope, but it’s a lot to ask that of a Scioscia rookie catcher. He might play in 75 games tops.
@VinWins: Oh, of course!
@Wake Up: Gotcha
@chata: You’re relocating to Costa Rica?
I know your catching strategy is a good one, but I’m incapable of following it. When a catcher is struggling, I figure, “They’re all the same, try someone else.”
I took Saltalamacchia with the last pick of the draft, but dumped him pretty quickly. I ended up using 14 catchers who hit .204 with 12 home runs and 53 RBI for me, slightly worse than what I could have had by sticking with Saltalamacchia (.235/16/56).
@VinWins: Yeah, you could land on someone like Avila and keep him for the year, but I find that more than likely you land on someone like Avila, hold him for a week or two then drop him for a guy like a hot Salty and then drop him for someone else who isn’t as good when you could’ve just stayed with Avila.
@Grey: Yeah, maybe I’ll smarten up next season.
@Grey:
ok , but watch the NEXT shooter after you .
and when you’re blissfully railing three $14 pay-outs on your $12 eights and you realize that you could be walking with $400 in your pocket , don’t blame delorean …. cust kayin’ .
yep , was all set to go right before the holidays .
now , will will wait it out one more tortuous winter and make the move
by august .
after successfully getting that plucky kiwi to strengthen my keeper league,
am trying to physically get as far away from him as possible .
excuse me , i gotta go check a map .
@chata: Yeah, but if the next shooter throws one 8? You get this system from John Patrick? While in Costa Rica you can run a sports gambling website….
@chata: You’ll actually be closer
@Grey: @Steve:
and teixeira dancing off of 1st base with a batting glove in each hand ,
not ON his hands , mind you , is another thing that pizzes me off .
thought that could just be the pain talking … but i seriously doubt it .
@Steve:
looking at it from my angle , i’m actually moving 2 hours to the right .
@VinWins: I was just thinking of something that you should remind about next February. We should have a catcher challenge. See who can get the most homers, runs and RBIs from the catching position by switching catchers at least once every two weeks. Give away a Darrell Porter framed lithograph or something.
thought = though (#38)
@Grey:
who’s john patrick ?
i run a gambling service , of sorts , now .
for $5 , i won’t bet on your favorite team .
cash only .
@chata: You crack me up. So, where you going? Oh, just moving 2 hours to the right.
@chata: John Patrick is the guy from So You Wanna Be A Gambler?
H@Grey: No problem, I won’t forget. And I could use that as an excuse to keep the catcher carousel running. I’d definitely have to use a different strategy, though. I kept picking them up when they were done hitting.
Nice craps chatter. I was this close to relocating to Vegas to be a craps dealer *holding finger approximately two inches apart*
There are Hawaiian leprechauns by the way: The Menehune they’re called.
I would have done well in the catcher challenge. Had Martin in the beginning of the year, rolled to a hot month with Soto and finished with Yaddie.
@OaktownSteve:
imagine there are a lot of dealers in vegas who aren’t doing so well ,
in this economy .
besides , if you screw up on a craps table in vegas , they drive you out to
the desert and bury you this deep (* holding hands approximately six
feet apart) .
@Grey:
if you guys do do (stutterer) a field trip to vegas , you ought to all
meet up at lax wearing “i’m Grey Albright” t-shirts and fake mustaches ,
and be sure to go through the terminal of the guy who used to comment
here .
@chata:
just to flush him out .
Coke is not it.
deciding to face goldy , instead .
could put this game out of reach .
@chata:
TA – DAH
@chata:
relax son .
a broken clock is correct more often than you .
do-or-die situation with the tiger and yanks . thursday night .
both teams are going with their 2nd best .
@VinWins: Yeah, the only issue is it might cause more people to ask catcher questions.
@OaktownSteve: Ha…Nice. So what do you play? Pass and numbers?
@chata: Of course!
@chata: Yup
Thanks for the last piece of advice Grey, got another question for you now.
Alex Avila, do you expect him to be just as good next year i.e is he legit? Had him in my OBP league and he was vital for me, is he worth keeping for 1 yr ($9) , 2yrs ($12) , or not at all?
I’m in for the revolving catcher challenge. I usually don’t even draft one, instead I usually take both sides of a closer crapshoot, until it is sorted out. Then, rotate in the hot hand, or at least the least cold. Kind of the anti-Ronco method. Pour in some cold water and stare directly at it until it starts to boil.
@TheNewGuy: I’d keep him for one more year.
@Wake Up: Ha… And how did it work out this year?
@Grey: Pretty well. 1st, 2nd, 1st place finishes. It allowed me to draft League and Kimbrel at about the same spot where I could have drafted a schmohawk catcher. And, I still ended up with top 5 catcher numbers (similar to Avila/Montero) without wasting a draft pick on one. But, like Vinwins mentioned above, it is difficult to suss out which backstop “was” hitting from who “will be” hitting. I enjoy the daily challenge and am usually fairly active anyway…..maybe to make up for my sub-par drafting skills.
@Grey: That’s how I roll
and it keeps the wife happy……….it might be cool to catch a 51′s game as part of the trip
@Wake Up: I’m sure people could win without a catcher… But how similar?
@Doug Ault: I’m thinking offseason trip so not sure the 51′s would work.
@Grey: My system is pass plus odds. Pass plus full 3x odds has a house edge of .417%, or $99.59 payback on every hundred you bet. Higher odds multipliers. Casino Royal next door to the Flamingo will let you play 100x odds. Basically what I do is get s**tface drunk playing the casino to a draw and then I either walk away with something very close to what I started with, or I make a bunch of jackass bets and try to get lucky and walk away on a roll.
Jackass me: “gimme 88 inside and a twenty dollar high low yo and gimme all the hardways and push the odds on my four and can you get that cocktail gal over here…you guys sell cigarettes?…of course you f**king do, am I right??? C’mon nine! Ninah ninah from Carolina…use to date her, now I hate her…you know you fellas are alright…hey dealers play…givin’ you a pair of shoes”
etc
@Grey: Sounds like a plan.I might be able to get a decent price on a block of rooms at a decent hotel on the strip,contact me when things start to come together
The well-respected Internet Baseball Writers Association of America announced their Cy Young Award winner.
Voting results are as follows:
1st Place: Clayton Kershaw, LAD
2nd Place: Roy Halladay, Phil
3rd Place: Ian Kennedy, Ariz
4th Place: Cliff Lee, Phil
5th Place: Craig Kimbrel, Atl
@OaktownSteve: Yeah, I play pass plus odds plus a number or two or three depending on the table. That end part sounds like me after a few cocktails. I should immediately be pulled away from the table once I start betting the horn on a coming out roll.
@Doug Ault: Nice
@VinWins: Ha! I like how they gained an adjective since last time. I agree with them on this vote…Well, I should since I’m an IBWA. What an acronym!
When I first started playing in Vegas I had a dealer who called the middle of the table “the jackass pen” because of all the stupid bets in there. I still call all that stuff the jackass bets. The insidious thing about Vegas is that’s where all the drunken fun is.
The great thing about craps is the lingo. It’s just fun to call out “horn bet” and “press my six” and “dealers have shoes” and “yo” and hear the dealers call “FIVE…no field five” and “shooter you must make nine” and “eight came easy” and so on and so on. If you’re going to lose money anyway, might as well lose it slow and engage in a lot of shite talkin’.
This is the Edwin Jackson I drafted!
For anyone who’s ever watched baseball and thought, “yeah – I could do that.”
http://mlb.sbnation.com/2011/10/5/2471911/cardinals-vs-phillies-shane-victorino-falling-gif-video/in/2235611
@OaktownSteve: Yeah, the lingo is fun. I like to buy numbers and not have any idea what I’m doing and be talked through it and then lose all my money.
@Steve: Nice video!
I knew more squirrels would be encouraged to run on the field today after the one yesterday got great TV coverage.
“Ok, Mr. Mustache down there, this is the last time I’m gonna tell you, anything on 4 and 10, even numbers on 5 and 9 multiples of 5 on 6 and 8″
“Got…got it. What was the middle part again?”
Cockail!
with all due deference to john lennon ,
“imagine” a world series with no sawx , yanks , or , phillies .
could happen .
feb/march 2011 … whodathunkit ?
@OaktownSteve: @Grey:
agreed , prop action is never a good bet .
even if you get lucky , the future “suck in” losses will kill you .
Heh. I dealt craps for a year when I was 21. Came in on stick after break on a table with a lot in play. First roll, a die gets cocked between two stacks of cheques. Was still a clear 7 out but I didn’t have the sack to call it so I had the base dealer call it. The table went apeshit so the manager went to the video. Unable to determine what the roll actually was and gave everyone their $$ back. $17k. I was amazed that I barely even got a talking-to. I must have made that place millions.
@Chata: the prop bets are lousy because of the juice. Boxcar odds 35:1 but pay out 30:1 and so forth. Just a numbers game.
@Terrence Mann: That’s a good story. Must see a lot of stuff standing there day after day.
@VinWins: Ha!
@OaktownSteve: Yeah, I’ve already forgotten.
@chata: Yup
@chata: Yeah, lots of suck in losses.
@Terrence Mann: So you’re saying the house still makes money on the craps table? Where did you deal craps at?
@OaktownSteve: @Terrence Mann:
dealt /boxed /floored craps for the past 12 years in 2 of the world’s
largest casinos .
for fun , try this : dicedealer.com and click on casino stories , at the top of the page .
admittedly , i haven’t visited this site for a few years .
after a few years in the biz , the stories aren’t as much fun as
the dealers’ take on them .
@OaktownSteve: Saw my share but it got depressing over time. A lot of degenerates that make us look like casual baseball fans.
@Grey: Harrahs across the river from Omaha. No gambling in Nebraska but all the license plates in our lot were Omaha.
@chata: Nice. I had an offer from Paris when they opened but turned it down because my gf still had a year of school. After she graduated she broke up with me. Probably for the best. If I was single in Vegas at 22 Id prolly be dead by now
@Terrence Mann: I got into Tulane for undergrad and I always say a similar thing… If I went to New Orleans at the age of 18, I’d be dead.
@Grey:
who are you rooting for …. ariz or milw ?
Wolfman jacked.
This is kind of interesting…
http://www.economist.com/blogs/gametheory/2011/09/statistical-research-baseball
@Steve:
thanks for the link , but this conclusion doesn’t make much sense ,
if your own catcher isn’t good at framing : “Hurlers who have been throwing to poor-framing catchers are probably severely undervalued, and smart clubs should seek to stockpile them for cheap.”
@chata: I guess it assumes that the club that stockpiles said pitchers has catchers that are better at framing, thus allowing the pitchers to maximise their value.
I think you’re confusing “former” and “latter.” Wieters’ AVG, OPS, and Runs were consistent, but he only had 10 HR going into August, and then hit 12 more to finish strong. His RBI also jumped in the last two months… not to mention him rocketing all the way from 0 to 1 in SB!
No spoilers… but how great is Wednesday? Survivor followed by The Real World? Are you kidding me? Next thing you know there’s going to be a sneak peek at the revival of Beavis & Butthead where they put Jersey Shore on blast!
You can’t beat that Krispie coating.
if arizona had hit this well during the regular season ,
i’d have finished much better .
@chata: Brewers, easily.
@Steve: That was very interesting.
@Awesomus Maximus: I haven’t gotten to Real World yet, but Survivor’s always terrific. So weird how Hantz’s nephew is so morally unsure of himself.
Grey,
So I just received the latest issue of Esquire (I stopped paying for it three years ago but they keep sending me issues–seriously, I swear), anyhoo, on the back page they have their usual pseudo-comedy gambit, and this month it’s the “2011 MacArthur Genius Grants for Men,” which I guess is supposed to be a Bud Light take on the MacArthur Fellow grants, and they list 12 things that apparently are genius “guy’ things, but the important thing here is that the last guy genius they list, No 12, is “Grey Albright.” That’s right, “Grey Albright,” listed as an Existentialist Genius, which may be an oxymoron, though I’m not sure. Now, I’m no nomenclaturologist, in fact I’m pretty sure no one is a nomenclaturologist, but the important thing here is what are the chances that Esquire randomly picked the name “Grey Albright” as a fake name for one of their fake lists of fake funny things? I’d say 0.0%, but that’s just a guesstimate. I believe that either (1) Esquire is trying to cash in on the steamrolling popularity of razzball by misappropriating your nom de plume, or (2) there’s a writer at Esquire who is a fan of razzball and wanted to give a surreptitious nod to the best fantasy sports website on the Internets. Any commenter here want to claim credit? If not, Mr. Albright, I would be glad to represent you in your Misappropriation of Name or Likeness lawsuit against Esquire. California even has a statute that makes illegal the misappropriation of your name or likeness even after you’re dead, which is the reason we don’t see Fred Astaire vacuuming up living rooms on our TVs anymore.
@Grey: I love how he’s angry at Mikayla for turning him on, “We gotta’ vote her off… she makes my man parts betray the Lord!” Kid’s got some demons.
Bee tea dub, she doesn’t look as goofy in the face when she’s got her makup did (and her clothes off… yeah, NSFW):
http://bit.ly/p513Jx
@Awesomus Maximus:
that’s my wife’s favorite show .
she’s going to wonder why i’m taking such a keen interest this year .
should i show her that pic ?
anywho … that whole redemption island is being played out incorrectly .
@Steve: Maybe that framing story explains why Molina missed so many catchable pitches this year. He was trying not to move his glove. And it looked like he was giving Arencibia pointers on it,too.
@Rabbit: My buddy writes the last page for Esquire.
@Awesomus Maximus: Wow, airbrushing even makes her look less goofy in the face. That’s incredible. I really found her completely unattractive on the show. “Her stuff is making me want to lie. We have to exorcise her from the game!”
@chata: In what way is being played out wrong?
Getting to the bottom of my somewhat uninspiring keeper list!
Mike Morse, guy was a great early pickup for me so think I owe him at least another year. Could keep him for 1 yr at $6 or 2 yrs at $9. Bearing in mind its an OBP league though and that Morse doesn’t walk much, is it safer to take the 1 yr?
@TheNewGuy: Go with 1 year.
@Grey: Same here. The cover of her Playboy issue is even crazier to me. I honestly looked at it for about 30 seconds trying to decide if it really was her, or if the article I’d read was incorrect about her making the cover:
http://bit.ly/oi5vnt
@chata: I showed my wife… she thinks Mikayla looking different is a matter of how high she raises her eyebrows for pics (vs. not posing on the show). I suppose not being distracted by other things allows her to notice stuff like eyebrows.
@Awesomus Maximus: Yeah, that makes no sense. That’s not her. I mean, I wish it was her, but it’s not.
I am amazed that no one here has been griping about the “beast mode” and newly minted “snake mode”. Whoever came up with these deserves an Anti-Genius Grant. I was almost on board with the Brewers’ thing because everyone enjoys referring to Milwaukee’s Best as Milwaukee’s Beast, but the D-Bags look like they’re playing with sock puppets.
I just hope it doesn’t spread any further, because I know that whatever the Padres would devise would be terrible (actually, I bet it would be “priest mode,” which would be dope if they were referring to Judas Priest, b/c Rob Halford has a house in SD, but I digress (which is clear because I was writing in parentheses)).
@royce!: Ha! I just wish people would start referring to them as D-Bags and their fans would dress up in Affliction and Ed Hardy (oh wait, they already do)…
Grey, if I found out you were an Esquire writer, I would have to stop reading razzball. On principle. Consider me relieved.
Good luck with the grant.
@Grey: Totally. They should be doing the fist pump instead of the snake thing. Blasting crappy techno every time someone reaches base.
@royce!: It is a bit unfair to limit this criticism to the D-Bags, considering that Braun actually designs shirts for Affliction.
@Terrence Mann: Ha
@royce!: No, don’t say that. That makes my unbridled love for Braun a little bridled.
@royce!: @Grey: Looks like they do quite a nice line in swimwear.
@Steve: For men? Cause all I wear are Speedo banana hammocks…
@Grey: Er…. no.
Though I suppose you could try using the bottom halves.
http://www.afflictionclothingstore.com/Swimwear/products/50/
@Steve: Eh, I wouldn’t wear a two piece.
@Grey: I guess that settles it…you’re true identity is not Mankini from The Soup. Time to move on to the next theory.
@Grey: In these (ahem) parts, banana hammocks are also known as budgie smugglers.
@royce!: Dude…”your.” Need to reread these things before I post them.
The first superintendent of the Arkansas State Police?
http://encyclopediaofarkansas.net/encyclopedia/media-detail.aspx?mediaID=7305
@Steve: I like that. Not too smart to smuggle a parrot in your pants, which is an apt commentary on the people who wear budgie smugglers (unless budgie stands for something else- apparently it also is a slang term for a helicopter, which would also be uncomfortable in one’s pants).
@royce!: Yeah, not really a Speedos man myself. It’s been board shorts for a loooooonnnnnng time now.
@Steve: Better to store your helicopters.
(I have no idea what that is supposed to mean)
@royce!: I’m tempted to build on the joke, but it could all get a bit untidy.
@Grey:
re : redemption island
should be able to return to the main group after fending off 3 challenges .
give the poor sap a fighting chance and the opportunity to make
an alliance .
otherwise , he just remains a pawn , at best , when he finally gets to
re-enter the game .
to make him stay out there and defend against 6 or 7 challengers , like they
made that jesus freak kid do , is just inherently unfair , imo .
are we counting down yet ?
yankees have 9 outs left .
Benoit and Coke up in the bullpen (it says here). Sounds like a drink that should have an umbrella in it.
@Steve: You’d think DET would be more of the beer drinking crew, like BOS.
http://hardballtalk.nbcsports.com/2011/09/30/report-red-sox-pitchers-drank-beer-during-games-on-their-off-days/
I’m really enjoying the lack of hand-jiving in the ALDS.
I take that back. If the Yankees started acting like they are using a monocle (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Original_New_Yorker_cover.png) as their version of the “beast mode,” I will root for them for the rest of the postseason.
@royce!: Quite so.
Do you think that if they’d been drinking beer in the bullpen it would have been OK?
@Steve: It would be okay with me. A hell of a lot better than if they were drinking Benoit and Cokes.
a-rod or a-fraud ?
@royce!: Would have been a much better story if they’d been drinking on the days they were pitching.
benoit ought to rub some of that pimple juice on the ball
ko – rod
@chata: It worked!
You couldn’t make this shit up:
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/news/article.cfm?c_id=6&objectid=10757263.
The best part? The mastermind behind at least one of the attacks has the surname Mullet.
@royce!: Make it a Benoit, straight up.
@Steve: He’s building the mastermullet!
@Steve:
i suppose all of these attacks were carried out in broad day-light .
otherwise , their candles would blow out , running after the guy .
@Grey:
hey Grey …. are we rioting after this game ,
or still playing the waiting game ?
@chata:
the way i figure it , a true baseball fan rioter would want to get his
new wide-screen in time for the world series .
football fans would probably wait to see if the tigers win the world series .
me ?
i could use a new set of tires .
next down …. the phillies .
hoo-ray for the for the little guy !!
Scherzer hurts my fantasy team in the regular season, and then hurts my real life team in the postseason. What did I ever do to him?
@chata: You can’t keep letting people come back into the game, show will take too long.
@Steve: HA!
@Steve: Benoit and Coke does sound delicious.
@chata: Rioting for what?
@Awesomus Maximus: I can’t believe the Yankees got eliminated.
So I’m a few days let, but Geo Soto was a monster last year.
He hit .280 with an .890 OPS (and many leagues are moving from BA to OPS as it is) along with 17 homers and 100 runs+RBI in 100 games.
That’s a pretty monster season. He finished as a top 10 catcher (top 6 in my league that counts OPS instead of BA) which alone would mean that he didn’t have a horrible season.
The fact that he got all of those stats in the first four months and sat much of August and September, which means I could have had another catcher in there for those months means to me, that he had a monster year in 2010.
Is W Ramos a better option than Pierzynski for 2012?