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When I look at the top 20 2nd basemen from the end of the year rankings, I’m yawnstipated.  So after the top guy went to Safeco and with no games played this offseason (that I’m aware of), the top 20 2nd basemen for 2014 fantasy baseball didn’t get better since the last game of the season.  Last year, Matt Carpenter and Daniel Murphy buoyed the 2nd basemen, making them seem better than they were due to counting stats.  I expect better this year than last year from a few guys, but just as many come with the “Bound For Disappointment” label.  Hey, BFD would make a great acronym.  I’m surprised no one has used it before.  Oh, wait, in the age of the internet, everything is an acronym.  Well, SAGNOF to that.  There’s the position eligibility chart for 2014 fantasy baseball.  All the 2014 fantasy baseball rankings are under that linkie-ma-whosie.  As always, my projections and tiers are included for the low, low price of zero dollars.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2014 fantasy baseball:

1. Robinson Cano – Went over Cano’s projections in the top 10 for 2014 fantasy baseball.

2. Jason Kipnis – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Kinsler.  I call this tier, “I trust you to make the right decision, I don’t trust these guys.”  The position is a mess right now.  As I briefly covered in the opening salvo, the position didn’t look as bad last year due to counting stats from some guys.  The third ranked 2nd basemen last year (Carpenter) had 11 homers and 3 steals.  That’s egregious and other words Jackie Chiles would say.  As for Kipnis, he seems like a lock for the 2nd best 2nd baseman season and he virtually disappears in the 2nd half of the season.  (Damn, should’ve made a smart type shortcut for ‘2nd’ before embarking on that sentence.  What a waste of time!)  In 2012, Kipnis had 3 homers and 11 steals with a .233 average in the 2nd half.  Last year, he hit 4 homers and stole 9 bases with a .261 in the 2nd half.  That comes out to about one homer and 2 steals every 16 games.  Omar Infante just called and said, “I trademarked that stat line, you owe me a nickel.  Omar Infante wants your nickel, fool!”  2014 Projections:  90/19/92/.269/27

3. Dustin Pedroia – He played in 160 games last year.  About 159 of them hurt since he was injured on Opening Day.  One of two games he missed was the last game of the season when the Red Sox had home field locked up.  Okay, so his heart is threes times the size of an average human.  (Oddly enough, his heart is only half the size of a cow.  Ever see a cow reading a Hallmark card?  It weeps uncontrollably.  Big heart on those cows.)  Playing hurt cost him power, and bought him counting stats.   Injured or healthy, the only thing I’d count on from the five foot, five inch Pedroia is steals, average, runs, RBIs and needing a step ladder to high-five most players.  As long as he never high-fives Shelley DuncanShelley Duncan will take off your hand with a high-five.  Shelley Duncan don’t take no mess.  2014 Projections: 93/14/89/.298/18

4. Ian Kinsler – When he was traded to the Tigers, here’s what I said, “Kinsler looked like he got old quickly last year (he is 31 already).  His power was down to a career low of 13 homers and his speed was at 15 steals, which only beats his career low in his rookie year when he was still learning how to walk.  (Not literally; he didn’t enter the league as an infant.  He was learning to take pitches.)  Unless he bumps into a syringe left behind by Jhonny Peralta, players don’t usually get better in their thirties.  They also tend to lose a bit of value when they go from a hitters’ park to a neutral one.  I don’t mean they refuse to paint Comerica pink and force it to play sports that cater to men and women.  That’s gender neutral.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2014 Projections:  103/16/74/.269/17

5. Jose Altuve – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Phillips.  I call this tier, “Well, I guess I have to at least consider drafting a 2nd baseman.”  Altuve is my fifth best 2nd baseman.  That’s usually around 60 overall in the top 400.  Altuve should not be ranked around 60 overall.  I can shove in some pitchers and outfielders as filler, but there’s gonna be a vacuum because there’s so few hitters.  Besides both needing their tippy-toes to get on a roller coaster, I can’t help to see the Altuve and Pedroia comparisons.  Pedroia’s 14 homers and 18 steals isn’t really that different than an 8-homer, 30-steal guy.  Altuve can also hit .290 and he’s seven years younger than the Sparky Anklebiter.  Sure, the Astros won’t give him as many counting stats, but I trust Altuve to stay healthier than Pedroia.  I could make a case for Altuve to be ranked where Pedroia is and that’s some scary shizz.  2014 Projections:  80/8/63/.292/33

6. Jedd Gyorko – Check out my Jedd Gyorko sleeper.  It was written while listening to Love Game off of Eminem’s new album.  2014 Projections:  68/27/74/.259/2

7. Ben Zobrist – He’s predictably unpredictable.  One year 20 homers, then 12; one year 20 steals, then 11; one year a .240 average, then .275; one year 90+ runs and RBIs, then 70+; one year I think Zobrist is long for bris, one year I think it’s short for Sochristian.  If anyone knows what Zobrist is going to do in 2014, let me know.  I’d buy his wife’s albums off iTunes if I thought it would inveigle him into serious production, if I’m using inveigle correctly.  2014 Projections:  79/14/70/.268/14

8. Aaron Hill – He comes with a bit more risk than other guys in this tier, but he also comes with more upside.  With risk comes reward, as one of those motivation posters says with a picture of a cat hang gliding towards a parachuting mouse.  Last I read, Hill’s hand should be fine for the spring, and that’s the last you read too, coincidentally.  If his fractured hand is finally better, he could hit 20+ homers to go along with his 10+ bases.  Yes, his upside could put him in the top three overall.  2014 Projections:  77/18/72/.281/9

9. Brandon Phillips – Lots of talk about Phillips being traded this offseason.  Makes you think there’s something wrong with him, right?  Yeah, I know, I read minds.  Rumors about Phillips being traded doesn’t change his value.  If there’s one guy I could see claiming this year’s Hunter Pence award for Wow, That’s A Lot Of Steals Out Of Nowhere, it’s Phillips.  But even if it doesn’t happen, he’s still a top ten 2nd baseman.  2014 Projections: 79/17/86/.269/6

10. Matt Carpenter – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Kendrick.  I call this tier, “Trying to avoid this tier.”  I ranked these players lower than I expect others will because not only am I not excited about drafting any of them, but I don’t plan on it either.  If Carpenter is there this late, and I haven’t drafted a guy above him, then, well, you gotta do what you gotta do.  How’s that for excitement?  Last year, Carpenter scored 126 runs.  That’s the third highest runs total since 2008.  To give you an idea of what the guys who beat him did the following season:  Granderson scored 136 runs in 2011 and 102 the following year and Trout scored 129 in 2012 and 109 last year.  No one scores 120 runs in back-to-back years without a crapton of steroids.  Do I smell an overrated post coming for Carpenter?  I can’t smell due to a build up of cerumen that’s made its way into my nasal passages, but it sounds about right.  (BTW, the Wikipedia picture for cerumen is so nasty.  Don’t look, seriously.  And now that just made you want to look.  Suckers!)  2014 Projections: 94/12/69/.304/4

11. Chase Utley – If he can play 150 games, he’ll be a top five 2nd baseman.  And if I were three feet taller, I’d rent myself out as a ladder.  And if if’s and but’s were candy and nuts, I’d be a squirrel with diabetes.  2014 Projections:  65/16/73/.274/10

12. Howie Kendrick – Kinda crazy that he’s already going to be 31 years old in July.  He feels like a guy that should still be getting better but that time has past.  Now you just hope for a 145 games played and counting stats.  Gosh, that was depressing.  So is using the word gosh.  2014 Projections:  62/15/70/.284/10

13. Brad Miller – This is a new tier.  This tier ends here.  I call this tier, “Gimme!”  I’ve already given you my Brad Miller sleeper post.  You’re welcome, over-the-internet friend.  Now…gimme!  2014 Projections:  69/14/62/.272/13

14. Jurickson Profar – Imagine Jurickson Profar and Jedd Gyorko went to Hawaii to get married and they decided to flip a coin for who got to name the baby.  Heads it was, but Gyorko called tails so he got to keep his last name, and Jurickson was heads so he got to name the kid, leaving them with Jurickson Gyorko, and when the kid turned 12 he changed his name to Tommy so kids would stop teasing him with Jerkson Jerko.  That’s an imagine scenario that even John Lennon couldn’t have dreamt up.  Ron Washington seems content with Profar at the bottom of the order.  For now.  After a few lines of the devil’s dandruff that could all change.  So…gimme!  Now, I will write a rap song that struggles to rhyme in honor of Jurickson Profar and Brad Miller.  I call this rap song, “My Rhymes Are On…That Thing You Read Off Your Watch (Time).”

I like Miller and Profar a lot, cuz.  Like a lot a lot.  Two a lot’s.
I got more a lot’s than you got uh-nothings’s.
Something, something something.  That’s three something’s.
Your girlfriend told me you’re lackluster.
Then I switched the U’s for A’s and the F’s for L’s on your girl’s keyboard and she told me to lack luster.
But she kept going, “Lack luster, hurder!  I lackin’ fove you so lackin’ mach.”
I yelled, “Oh, yeah,” like the Kool-Aid Man.  He’s punch with a paunch.  UPDATE:  Torn shoulder muscle.  I promise you it had nothing to do with my poem (it probably did).  2014 Projections: 77/10/59/.272/15

14. Jed Lowrie – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Prado.  I call this tier, “No gimme.”  Elias Sports Bureau said this is the first time since 1910 that there are two Jed’s in the top 15 for 2nd basemen.  In 1910, there was Jed Wilson and Jed Parsons until they had a deadly quarrel over a homemade white cake.  This Jed Lowrie defied what I probably said last year in that if he got 150 games played he’d be a huge value.  And that’s me maybe quoting me!  He did get 154 games last year and did about the same as when he only played in 100 games in previous years.  It’s like when you put in two caps worth of Country Time into your Sodastream instead of the recommended one cap’s worth.  The bottom is undrinkable and you still only have a half decent drink.  2014 Projections:  70/15/76/.260/2

15. Martin Prado – This guy gets the short end of the “Does Grey like me?” stick.  Some ex-girlfriends would say there is only a short end.  Prado’s fine for counting stats, but gives nothing else exciting and I guarantee you you (stutterer!) won’t be happy owning him all year.  2014 Projections:  65/13/76/.277/5

16. Anthony Rendon – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Scooter.  I call this tier, “What are you waiting for?  A personal invitation?  Draft a middle infielder already.”  I have a premonition that Rendon is going to be batting first for two-thirds of the season.  Maybe I am a soothsayer.  A sayer of sooths, if you will.  Maybe I’m throwing darts at a board hoping the darts don’t get all bungled, leading me to yell, “Drats!”  He definitely didn’t cream anything last year, which is what I’d prefer to see in a player’s first cup of coffee.  He’s shown power in the minors, so I’m gonna go on him being only 23 years old and hope for more.  And, yes, if he has a bad April, he’ll be droppable in most leagues.  What do you want?  It’s a shallow position and we’re already firmly in a tier of guys that may not last on your team.  2014 Projections:  72/14/74/.279/4

17. Kolten Wong – The Cardinals are saying Mark Ellis will just be used as support for Wong.  Too bad Ellis didn’t have his hands filled giving support to Matt Adams.  You know, standing behind Matt with his hands cupped around his moobs.  I don’t want to believe Wong will be shortchanged at-bats due to Ellis, but there’s a real possibility of that happening.  The good news is Ellis can’t stay healthy and is long in the tooth like Sarah Jessica Parker.  I think I might’ve just ranked the first 2nd baseman that won’t start the year in the majors.  Ellis, you stupid prospblock.  2014 Projections:  72/11/52/.277/17

18. Jonathan Schoop - I’d draft Schoop just for the smell of it, just for the yell of it!  If he wins the job over Jemile Weeks (which he should if anything’s right in this world), he looks like a guy that will hit for some decent MI power and not a whole lot else.  For this year, he looks like a poor man’s Uggla when he was young, I will call him Dan Fuggla.  UPDATE:  The Brooklyn Brawler, Steve Lomardozzi, knocked Schoop out of the ring for a ten count.  With the help of a metal chair.  2014 Projections: 61/16/67/.251/4

19. Kelly Johnson – Here’s a guy that I like way more than I should.  It’s like everyone sees the scary half-face guy on Boardwalk Empire and I’m the hot model who dates him in real life.  Wait, am I wearing a bikini in this scenario?  I might like that.  I don’t buy for one second Brian Roberts or Scott Sizemore are legit options to steal any meaningful time from him.  2014 Projections: 50/17/60/.225/10

20. Scooter Gennett – The Brewers gave him the nod this offseason for the 2nd base job.  They did that prior to trading away Weeks, which is the opposite of good negotiating.  Well, whatevs.  Gennett showed a lot more this past season than he should’ve, which is good and bad.  Playing over your head is good, but how long does it last?  Not to answer, but to ruminate.  Mmm, ruminating… Damn, I burned my tongue on that rumination!  2014 Projections:  60/12/64/.281/10

21. Josh Rutledge – Some people were crazy excited about Rutledge last year.  We shouldn’t try to figure who those people were.  It’s a waste of our energy.  Let’s just say some were excited.  Some very, very, very smart people who modify with very.  As of right now, Rutledge’s not guaranteed the starting 2nd base job.  Him and DJ LeMahieu should battle it out in the spring.  As long as the battle isn’t on the ones and twos, I like Rutledge to walk away with the job and is worth a flyer.  UPDATE:  How the mighty to only me have fallen, he didn’t make the team.  2014 Projections:  59/14/40/.245/15

21. Daniel Murphy – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Infante.  I call this tier, “Only excuse to draft these guys is if you’re accidentally on autodraft and in the bathroom.”  This offseason the Mets tried to trade Murphy after his career year.  That’s an A for effort and a C+ for desperation.  “He’s capable of stealing 25 bags, 15 homers and has a great moral code!”  That’s the Mets trying to sell Murphy to the highest bidder.  Unfortch, there were no bidders because it’s pretty obvious last year was an outlier with the emphasis on liar.  What kind of moral code is that?!  2014 Projections:  76/8/59/.282/12

22. Dan Uggla – Reminds me of an old Jedd Gyorko.  I will call him Oldd Gyorko.  2014 Projections: 55/19/62/.205/3

23. Brian Dozier – After I ranked Dozier I thought about why and I fell asleep.  2014 Projections: 52/12/60/.230/9

24. Neil Walker – The finest scotch whiskey that $1 can buy:  Neil Walker, Boring Label.  2014 Projections: 61/14/59/.259/2

25. Rickie Weeks – There was a while there that Weeks had this stigma that he couldn’t stay healthy.  Now the stigma is you don’t want him to stay healthy.  You say stigma, I say stigmata, let’s call the whole thing off!  2014 Projections: 42/12/48/.211/10

26. Marco Scutaro – Best case scenario, he gets you what you were hoping for from Daniel Murphy.  But what were you hoping for from Daniel Murphy?  Why are you putting all your hopes and dreams in Daniel Murphy?  Stop pressuring him!  2014 Projections:  69/7/47/.291/5

27. Gordon Beckham – Here is your challenge, find someone who is excited about drafting Gordon Beckham.  It’s fair game to go to Beckham’s house and see if you can find anyone there.  2014 Projections:  60/11/66/.252/6

28. Alexander Guerrero – When he signed, I said, “And the Dodgers signed yet another Cuban raftee.  Those Dodgers there, they are filled to the rafters!  How Alexander Guerrero signed a deal to play in Hollywood and there wasn’t one newspaper with the title, “Showbiz and A.G.” I will never know.  You failed, Los Angeles Times.  Thankfully, Los Angeles isn’t in Miami or it would be a total free-for-all, humid and aquamarine-tinted.  Miami should just formally denounce normal colors.  “We, the people of Miami, would like to declare orange and aquamarine as our primary colors.”  When you get off the plane in Miami International, someone should be stationed at the gate and spray paint your face orange or aquamarine; your choice.  Ever notice how Miami is one of the last cities to ever have race issues?  It’s the pastel colors.  Put people in pastel colors and what are they looting?  Leotards?  Sherbet?  So, Scott Boras said Alexander Guerrero has the power of Dan Uggla.  Yeah, okay.  Take a high school C student and Boras can get him into Harvard Law School through the sheer force of his BS.  Guerrero will replace Ellis next year at 2nd base.  A.G. has some pop for a middle infielder, but probably won’t hit more than 15 long balls. That’s the sad trombone news.  Alexander takes after his brother from another mother with the same last name — Vladimir Guerrero.  He swings at anything within a yard sale of home plate.  Unlike Vlad the Impala, Alexander might not hit for a great average.  Hey, he’s got that in common with Uggla.  Excuse Boras for mixing up his comparisons!  He also has no speed and I wonder about his motivation.  He sat out last year because he didn’t want to play after not being chosen to play for Cuba’s World Baseball Classic team.  I can understand his disappointment.  He didn’t get to play in a meaningless tournament with 35% of the best players in the world.  Take a ‘lude with your ‘tude, ain’t got time for that.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2014 Projections:  49/9/59/.233/2

29. Omar Infante – Here’s what I said when he signed with the Royals, “‘Every player is like gold teeth, Grey Goose, trippin’ in the bathroom… And we’ll never be royals…’  Hmm, actually it should be, “Every player is like ‘What’s in Billy Butler’s teeth?’ the Moose, I wanna watch Bonifacio run, vroom… They are the Royals…”  Infante, you’re almost a baby and I hate you for killing Bonifacio’s fantasy value.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2014 Projections:  48/8/51/.284/7

30. DJ LeMahieu – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until the end of the list.  I call this tier, “Gnihton.”  What I mean by the tier name is if you stare at nothing long enough, you start to see something.  DJ LeMahieu may or may not have a starting job.  If a nation of Asian kids with glow sticks have any say in it, he will.  I’m not sure they have a say though.  2014 Projections:  51/3/48/.298/15

31. Emilio Bonifacio – Every player is like ‘What’s in Billy Butler’s teeth?’ the Moose, I wanna watch Bonifacio run, vroom… They are the Royals… Damn, that’s stuck in my head now.  2014 Projections:  41/2/31/.251/28

32. Dustin Ackley – The Big FraGu is supposed to platoon with Ackley, but right now Ackley is slotted into the leadoff slot vs. righties and The Big FraGu can’t stay healthy or hit lefties.  I don’t expect the second coming of Jimmy Christ from Ackley, but, c’mon, we’re real late here.  2014 Projections:  52/6/32/.258/6

33. Nick Franklin – Right now, Franklin lacks a coherent narrative with the Mariners like Maya did with Nate and Brenda.  I could see him sneaking into 250 ABs if he stays put and 500 ABs if he’s traded and 700 ABs if he plays all the innings of a 475-inning game.  2014 Projections:  32/9/36/.251/8

34. Steve Lombardozzi – Kinsler’s no model of good health and Andy Dirks should be required to write up a curriculum vitae to apply for a full-time job.  Lombardozzi did have a 20-steal season in the minors — cough, cough — in High-A in 2010.  Okay, so Lombardozzi’s got his own demons, but he might be something in very deep leagues.  2014 Projections:  31/5/28/.281/9

35. Jemile Weeks – He will probably amount to bupkis, but just think if he’s the un-bupkis.  A 30-steal guy in the last rounds of your draft?  Ah, dare to dream.  Or maybe that’s simply, ‘I must be dreaming.’  Nope, I’m not dreaming or I’d be getting a back massage from Jessica Alba in the south of France while we discuss how boring Downton Abbey is.  Every character on the show can be described by, “Isn’t he a drip?”  My teenaged self would kick the crap out of me for even watching Downton Abbey.  2014 Projections:  37/2/19/.239/22

  1. Baggiejohn says:
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    ‘Filled to the rafters’ … like it! How’s the quest for 4,000,000,000 words going? I bet your wrists haven’t ached this much since you were a teenager.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Baggiejohn: Annyong is now typing up most of these responses…

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @Grey: hernado

      • Carnac says:
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        Mmm… I could go for a little Korean.

  2. DSD says:
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    Rutledge is the sleeper of the bunch. He will make you look smart (a year late) if he gets the starting gig. He has .270+ 20/20 possibility playing for the Rox.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @DSD: Yeah, I still like him, but his playing time isn’t even guaranteed even if he has the starting job on Opening Day…

  3. costaricanchata says:
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    @ Grey :

    ” If a nation of Asian kids with glow sticks have any say in it, he will. I’m not sure they have a say though. ”

    you’re dead wrong on this issue .

    oh , wait .
    i thought you were talking about the all star balloting .
    never-mind .

  4. anoraxx says:
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    Grey, rumor says that you’re not going to release war room 2014 edition? Is that true? I hope not because it is singlehandedly the most valuable fantasy tool.

    • Last Chance says:
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      @anoraxx: Trevor Gallo & John Hassett, formulated the war room last year based on Greys rankings/ projections. Perhaps you could contact them somehow and see if they have anything in the makings.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @anoraxx: I reached out to Trevor already… I have no problem doing the War Room if someone else does it…

    • Stock says:
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      @anoraxx:

      Bring back war room. Need it.

      • Moonlight Graham says:
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        @Stock:
        I agree with this, I absolutely loved the War Room….the Excel file was such an asset to me and two league titles last year…

  5. DrEasy says:
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    It’s sad that you listed 36 2nd basemen and none of them are a Blue Jay…

    • Count de Monetball says:
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      @anoraxx: E@DrEasy: Or a cub

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @DrEasy: Yeah, well, there’s that… My apologies to Ryan Groins…

  6. Rotorankers.tumblr.com says:
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    “Only excuse to draft these guys is if you’re accidentally on autodraft and in the bathroom.”

    I died laughing. Good work!

    Also, I expect big things from Aaron Hill this year.

  7. Paul says:
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    Wow, Phillips was my answer of 2B last year. I was seldom worried about him.
    But he is ranked behind Gyorko and Hill, seriously? Reds’ lineup is better than SD’s… (assuming not be traded)

    If we don’t consider keeper issue,
    Does Grey suggest to pick Gyorko over Phillips if they are available?

    Thanks.

    • rotorankers.tumblr.com says:
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      @Paul: The majority of Phillips value came from his RBIs last year, hitting right behind Choo one of the best leadoff hitters/OBP guys in the MLB. Choo is gone now…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Paul: These aren’t keeper rankings you’re reading…

      • Paul says:
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        @Grey: Thanks, I hope Gyorko will be my answer of 2B if I can steal him….

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          No problem

  8. bossmanjunior says:
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    Could you give a couple examples of placement in the top 400 for context? Seemed to be a popular theme. Thanks!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @bossmanjunior: Gyorko’s in the 70’s overall… Rutledge is around 240, I think…

  9. Moscow Spartakers says:
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    Grey,
    I’ve recently read one Detroit Free Press article about Ian Kinsler, regarding his SB dropping in 2013. Kinsler was quoted as saying that he had been caught a lot of times because of the hit-and-run strategy in front of Andrus and that he had wanted to improve his baserunning effectiveness. Given the change of scenery and the assumption that his baserunning ability hasn’t changed much, is it possible that he will steal 20+ bases?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Moscow Spartakers: Lots of stories will come out in the next few months about guys wanting to have the best year of their careers… Is it possible? Sure… Probable? No…

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @Grey: it would be funny to keep a running tally of the players that claim this will be true.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yup

  10. bossmanjunior says:
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    Im probably going to be all over the Jerk this year (watched that movie last night, such a classic).

    Here is a small breakdown of why the Jerk could be a big steal.

    First off, the power is real. He consistently posted ISO’s north of 200 in the minor and further did so 4 of the 6 months last year. He even posted a higher ISO at Petco by a good margin. Overall, he had the 5th best fly ball batted distance for 2B last year.

    The Jerk could see improved plate discipline and batted ball luck in 2014. Gyorko consistently posted a K% south of 20% in the minors and there stands a good chance this trend continues. He was also a tad bit unlucky in the BABIP department especially considering he boasted a healthy LD% around 22%.

    Considering he missed almost a month due to a groin injury, his prorated stats (around 30 hr) would have looked a lot more appealing and likely increased his draft price.

    My fallback is likely going to be Hill, although im really concerned his days of stealing 10+ bases could be done. Still offers a solid batting average, counting stats and power. Although the power was down a bit in 2013, with the ISO slipping back down under 200 but not all the way to his 2012 levels.

    • Nightpandas says:
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      @bossmanjunior: He is shooting the cans! He hates the cans!

      • Wake Up says:
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        @Nightpandas: “And I don’t need any of this. I don’t need this stuff, and I don’t need you. I don’t need anything. Except this.”

        • The Strolg says:
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          @Wake Up:You guys want to stick around for an oven mitt!

  11. TheNewGuy says:
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    Some hillarious lines in there, these shmohawky position blurbs would be so boring without you adding your humour to them! Seems theres only 3 sleepers in this whole list, Profar, Miller and possibly Rendon.

    Whats next SS? Ugh, hope for some more humour to get me through it then.

  12. inertiatic says:
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    Grey,
    Missed you buddy. Thanks for always being here when I come back.

  13. Justin says:
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    Great work as always Grey. Your boy Colvin signed with the O’s. Do you think they give him a shot to play some? Could be very beneficial to the O’s.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Justin: Their DH and OF is a bit of a mess, so he could get 300 ABs… I think Kendrys signs there though, which would hurt him…

  14. Clemente says:
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    I love this site. It’s unreal just how amazing it is.
    Quick keeper question.

    Auction league, keepers increase $5 each subsequent year you keep them.

    I trade Miggy at $35 and get in return McCutcheon at $15 & either Kipnis at $8 or Matt Carpenter at $1 or Kenley Jansen at $5.

    Is this a worthwhile trade for me? and what is the best route (player package) to take?

    • Wake Up says:
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      @Clemente: Who will you have at 1B?

      • Clemente says:
        (link)

        @Wake Up:
        Freddie Freeman at $11 – or pretty much anyone from Grey’s top 20 1B from #7 down….

        It’s a 13 team ROTO league (standard 5×5).

        My other keepers right now are:

        Braun – $30
        CarGo – $20
        Joey Batts – $15
        Alex Rios – $9
        Kimbrel – $11
        Marte – $10
        Freeman – $6

        • Wake Up says:
          (link)

          @Clemente: do it…

    • rotorankers.tumblr.com says:
      (link)

      @Clemente: Do that!!! Miggy is better than McCutchen but not $20 better. Not to mention you get Kipnis at a great price. I’m also very high on Freeman.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Clemente: Thanks! Agree with others, take it with Kipnis…

  15. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    Nolan Reimold: you thought he was
    Gonna be good; but he wasn’t.
    That pick was like when
    Mommy and Daddy are first cousins.
    Stop scratching at that itch,
    It’s just a freckle.
    And James’ bill is
    changing still
    But, duck quacks don’t echo.
    Oh, and congratulations on
    Slipping out of your
    Mom’s vagina,
    and squirming around
    in the worst way.
    Now, go clean off and
    crimp your ‘stache
    cuz it’s your birthday!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Wake Up: HA! Thanks! I’m gonna read this tonight at dinner with my wife, mom and in-laws…

      • Wake Up says:
        (link)

        @Grey: It’s my gift to you! (though I have also sent it off to Hallmark)
        Hope you have a blast!
        I’m playing at a place that I hate to play at, tonight…prolly be scraping myself off of stage at closing…and eating only pickle juice tomorrow…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Pickle juice? You putting Judy Blum to music? Have a great show (even if the place is less than ideal)!

          • Wake Up says:
            (link)

            @Grey: haha…Hangover, Part IV…

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Hangover, Part IV: An Excuse For More Hangover Merchandise At Caesar’s

              • Wake Up says:
                (link)

                @Grey: Caligula would be so proud how that place turned out…

                another successful prediction by yours truly…head meet ice…is it bedtime yet?

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  I knew it would come together!

                  • Wake Up says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: So, how did it go over when you read it at dinner?

                    What round would you say Rizzo gets drafted for 2015? Still early, but for a keeper…

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Pretty well… I had a cello player accompany me… Hopefully he’s a 2nd or 3rd rounder next year but he could be a 12-15th rounder if he bombs again…

                    • Wake Up says:
                      (link)

                      @Wake Up: Grammy Coogz is a ginger who makes her own pizza bagels?

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Shouldn’t be a question mark on that, an exclamation…

                  • Wake Up says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: That’s beautiful! Was gonna say go cello but didn’t want to be too forward…Did Grammy Coogz cry? Tell me she cried a little…

                    Agreed…I’m thinking 3rd round…Hosmer is not a good comp…except for figuring out LHP a little more and taking a step forward…

                    PS I like the juxtaposition of Grammy and Coogz…I can see her wearing very comfortable shoes and a hoodie…

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Grammy Cougs couldn’t cry, it wouldn’t have been very professional since she was the one playing the cello… She was wearing orange Crocs…

                  • Wake Up says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: Grammy Coogz is a ginger who makes her own pizza bagels?

    • Prez says:
      (link)

      @Wake Up: lol!! Wow….

      • Wake Up says:
        (link)

        @Prez: thanks bwo…

  16. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    The Profar blurb was so good you almost made me start to like him…almost…Awesome!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Wake Up: Hehe…Get on board (he’ll be relatively cheap, maybe)….

  17. Bob says:
    (link)

    Where does Brett Lawrie fall in the 2B rankings as he’ll have 2B/3B in yahoo.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Bob: Freakin’ Yahoo and their stupid eligibility… I have him, Miller and Profar in the 140’s overall…

    • PK says:
      (link)

      @Bob: Lawrie only had six appearances at 2B last year, so I don’t think that’s enough for 2014 eligibility. I believe he needs 10 appearances to get 2B in Yahoo! leagues.

      • Wake Up says:
        (link)

        @PK: only 5 starts…

        • PK says:
          (link)

          @Wake Up: For Yahoo!, you definitely need five starts for in-season position eligibility gain (or 10 appearances).

          I seem to recall that you needed either 10 starts or 10 appearances in the previous year to start a new season with that same eligibility. I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure there were players I owned one year with a certain eligibility that they gained during the year that they didn’t have the following.

          • Sky

            Sky says:
            (link)

            If memory serves, yahoo is pretty lenient and allows the 5/10 rule to carry forward for positional eligibility to the next year.

  18. Fungazi says:
    (link)

    Omar’s comin yo! Haha I loved those Infante updates.

  19. BenJ says:
    (link)

    I remember when Rendon came up and I got laughed out of quite a few rooms for stating that he’s the rare breed of 2B that can’t field or hit. I only feel bad because I failed to mention that he also can’t run. I think a line in the .260 range with 1 steal is probably closer to reality. On the other hand, his division does have a lot of LH starters, so he could luck into having 30% of his at bats vs LHP again. He’ll be hitting 8th by the end of April and possibly also in a platoon by then.

    • Wake Up says:
      (link)

      @BenJ: don’t think they’re gonna stick a .340 onbase at the bottom of the order…

      • BenJ says:
        (link)

        @Wake Up: I guess you’re assuming he can crack a 10% walk rate?

        • Wake Up says:
          (link)

          @BenJ: was already at .330 with an 8%…

        • Wake Up says:
          (link)

          @BenJ: I could see .285 with decent runs…not much power or any speed…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @BenJ: I don’t necessarily disagree…He’s a better real life player…

  20. Shawn of the livid says:
    (link)

    “Well, I guess I have to at least consider drafting a second basemen” … HA! I usually leave the 2nd and SS positions until the very end of the draft. What do you think Grey, which is more important? Or is it tomato, tomAAAAHHHHHto?

  21. E says:
    (link)

    Would you keep Brandon Belt or Michael Wacha in the last round? 3 keepers, already keeping Donaldson and Chris Davis.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @E: Wacha

  22. George says:
    (link)

    Are you kidding me? I am wicked excited about Gordon Beckham!

  23. Steve d says:
    (link)

    A show and ag reference. Very very nice. I’ll put the Over under for people that got it at 10. Ag make pedroia look like Andre the giant. Now you the man, now you the man, now you the man
    Now you the man, now you the muthafuckin man

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Steve d: Ha, awesome… We get about 20,000 readers per day… I’d put the over/under at three…

      • Shawn of the livid says:
        (link)

        @Grey: 20,000!! That great man congrats!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Thanks!

  24. Papajeansegura says:
    (link)

    Thats ballsy to rank altuve in front of Carpenter and Phillips. I like Altuve but he’s not getting close to 100 RBIs or 100 runs. I guess i can see phillips dropping since he’ll probably be hitting in the 2 hole? I think thats where they moved him last year but if he’s back to batting cleanup he’s way above Altuve. I don’t see how carpenter is lower than Gyorko, only thing Gyorko can do better is hit HRs but Padres suck and I think Carpenter will out-RBI and get more runs. And I think you’re undervaluing Daniel Murphy he will be better than 23rd best in an improved Mets lineup… c’mon give the man some credit he had a great year last year

      • Papajeansegura says:
        (link)

        @Grey: i’m calling you out on all the rankings haha jk, but I just really want to win my league and you’re making me rethink what I thought I knew! There’s already smacktalking galore between teams and I want to be on the same page with you so I can back mine up. can’t wait for the next position, commenting on the rankings is all I have before preseason starts!! haha fantasy Basketball is just not doing it for me.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Haha… No problem…

  25. Bob says:
    (link)

    In points league where K’s count against you… would you flip Carpenter and Jedd?

    In our league Carpenter scored as the 6th highest bat last year… even if he drops 50 runs off his numbers he’d have ranked at 16th overall…

    or expecting him to maintain the slash of 317/392/480 complete unrealistic? He strikes me as someone that may lead the league in doubles yet again this year…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Bob: I could see moving them closer together, then flipping them… .300 isn’t unrealistic…I wouldn’t count on .317…

  26. Clemente says:
    (link)

    Hi,
    Can you rank jerky and profar in a keeper? (We keep foreva and Eva). I know you’re high on jedd and so am I…just wondering if they are both possible elite options going forwArd.

    Also, I know he’s a different position, but how valuable is bogaerts in comparison to jedd and jurickson?

    Many thanks

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Clemente: I’d rank them in this order for a keeper for those two guys… Bogaerts, Jedd, Profar…

  27. Fireball Feliz says:
    (link)

    As a Rangers fan in a league full of Rangers fans, I’m scared at how quickly PROfar is going to get picked up. Pretty excited to see what kind of numbers that lil curocaoian bundle of joy will put up. If Kinsler only plays 125-130 games I could see PRO having the better year.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Fireball Feliz: Yeah, that could happen… Profar gonna get drafted early in that league, definitely…

  28. goodfold2 says:
    (link)

    utley blurb, sweet jesus, good stuff.

  29. doghat666 says:
    (link)

    12 team, 10×10 roto, keeper, auction league
    Hit: 2C, MI, CI, DH, 5OF
    Pitch: 1SP, 1RP, 7P
    Bench 6, DL6
    Team Salary $320, keep 6 at last year salary +5
    My 2014 keeper candidates:
    $7 K Johnson
    $9 Shelby Miller
    $10 G Cole
    $10 T Cingrani
    $10 N Arenado
    $15 A Rizzo
    $15 Y Cespedes
    $18 P Sandoval
    $20 G Stanton
    $26 M Kemp
    $44 P Fielder
    Which 6, thanks.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Cole, Stanton, Yoenis, Rizzo, Miller, Arenado

  30. Bill Lumbergh says:
    (link)

    12 team keeper H2H points league. Pick one: Greinke or Sale? Thx!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Sale

      • goodfold2 says:
        (link)

        @Grey: this is likely due to age i’m guessing?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yup

  31. Eric W says:
    (link)

    The 2b rankings this year makes me think that my parents were not lying to me when the told me I was “A great second basemen!” while I was hitting below the Mendoza line in little league….

    Thanks!! really interested to see your ss rankings.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha…Me too!

  32. Carnac says:
    (link)

    Just like Bruce gets taken down a notch for h2h leaguers, folks should consider doing the same for Altuve. He steals in bunches and can’t be relied on for counting stats. He could be dead weight on your roster for weeks at a time.

    Last year he had 5 multi-steal games (totaling 12 bags). Or, for those who can’t find the calculator app on your iphone, he stole 1/3 of his SB in 5 games. I should check the game logs to see if all those games were against Jarrod Saltalamacchia. “Altuve’s taking off, and the throw from Saltalamacchia rolls to a stop 10 feet to the left of the pitcher’s mound…”

    Also, he’s not that fast. Small legs, etc. He gets caught 1/3 of the time. If the Astros ever find someone to hit behind him who doesn’t hold the bat upside down, he may not have as much of a green light.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha… Hold the bat upside down… Yup…

      • goodfold2 says:
        (link)

        @Grey: it was probably off of either LAA or DET catchers.

  33. Fungazi says:
    (link)

    Is there a good site that lists all mlb players with age as a column? It seems harder to find than I thought.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Not sure

    • Jay29 says:
      (link)

      @Fungazi: Here’s a fangraphs leaderboard (click my name if this link doesn’t work) sorted by age, though it’s 2013 age… (you could just copy the whole table and +1 it in excel).

      • Fungazi says:
        (link)

        @Jay29: That’s exactly what I was looking for, thanks a lot!

        • Last Chance says:
          (link)

          @Fungazi: Maybe when Grey’s top 300 come out, ill plug his rankings into my age spreadsheet… Now thats a big shepherds pie of fantasy baseball perfection.

    • Last Chance says:
      (link)

      @Fungazi: I have a spreadsheet made with ages, all sorted by position. They aren’t necessarily ranked in any particular order, but it may be of some use to you, or anyone in a dynasty/keeper.

      • Last Chance says:
        (link)

        @Last Chance: That fangraphs tool will do you just fine.

        • Fungazi says:
          (link)

          @Last Chance: Yeah it will. I checked Fangraphs before, but am not too familiar with the site, so didn’t find that list that was posted above.

          • Jay29 says:
            (link)

            @Fungazi: The leaderboards at FanGraphs are pretty useful once you get the hang of ‘em. I just modified the columns at the bottom of the page to only display Age.

  34. Sky

    Sky says:
    (link)

    I started secret cutting just to feel again after looking at the top 20 2B this year.

    • Carnac says:
      (link)

      Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
        (link)

        No week is a good week to quit that

      • Sky

        Sky says:
        (link)

        Second base is the worst this year. Like lower than catcher worst. That’s a sad world.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          It’s pretty close, yeah…

          • Sky

            Sky says:
            (link)

            It’s Jedd Gyorko or bust for me this year in terms of 2B targets. Aaron Hill maybe but he has to fall in drafts for it to be worth it. Oh and fuck Omar Infante. XOXO, Bonifacio.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Yup, yup and yup

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha

  35. Carnac says:
    (link)

    Btw – happy birthday (tomorrow), Grey!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Thanks!

  36. Homer at the Bat says:
    (link)

    Happy Birthday (in advance), Grey!

    Looking for your opinion on trade offers – H2H points keeper league – can keep 12 players however long you want, no draft cost. Can also keep 1 rookie hitter, 1 rookie pitcher.

    A. Been offered Darvish for Jose Fernandez and Archie Bradley. My gut is to decline – right move?

    A1. Trading partner would probably do Miggy or McCutchen for the same Jose Fernandez/Bradley package. That’d be the deal to jump on, right?

    B. In another deal, I could trade Fatt Matt Adams for Iwakuma – worth it to shore up pitching a little bit? BTW, if I trade Fernandez, I’d be left to choose between Cain, Kluber, Gallardo, Lynn – would probably keep 2 or 3 of them and stack my hitting instead (generally try for 9/3 or 8/4 hitter/pitcher split for my keepers).

    C.

    D. If I trade Bradley, Paxson becomes my rookie pitching keeper. Abreu is probably my rookie batter keeper (over Billy Hamilton & Castellanos) Good choices?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Thanks! I’d take one of those first round hitters…

      • Homer at the Bat says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Muchos gracias, Senior!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          No problem

  37. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    @ Grey :

    doing a 16 team slow mock .
    5×5 vanilla … except only 4 of
    5th pick in the draft

    thus far :
    cutch
    reyes
    j-up
    a-gon
    ortiz

    just took iwakuma in the 6th (14th sp taken)
    8 more picks , and then back to me .
    right now , altuve and gyorko are still on the board .
    but , should i be looking at another of-er or sp this time around ?

    thanks .

    • costaricanchata says:
      (link)

      @costaricanchata:
      p.s. 26 of-er already taken , and 7 2bmen

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Depends on what OF is there…

  38. Let ARoid Play! says:
    (link)

    Grey,
    Good to be back reading your fine work. A Keeper question if I may. The following are my potential keepers with the round they were drafted:

    Segura (12)
    Choo (5)
    Pence (8)
    Minor (10)
    Ryu (12)
    Cashner (12)
    Sonny Gray (12)
    Kenley Jansen (12)

    Any FAs or players drafted after the 12th are considered 12th Round Keeprs, hence all of the 12s.

    I am thinking Segura and Pence or Minor (we get 2), but I thought I would ask your opinion.

    It is a Yahoo 12 Team H2H 6X6 League with OPS and Holds.

    Thanks much Grey.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Thanks! Segura, Minor

  39. Justin Cook says:
    (link)

    I have 3 keeper CI, and none at MI. Should I trade Wright and pick 70 for Segura and Pick 54?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Go for it

  40. J says:
    (link)

    Can you go into more detail about your dislike of Carpenter?

    With the Granderson example, he followed his career best OBP with a .319 OBP and 30 points less in BA. With Trout, he had way more PAs and a much higher OBP, yet his R dropped due to a bad team and tons of injuries – he only got better.

    Do you see something similar happening with the Cardinals? Or a stiff decline in Carpenter’s production? He did lead the league in both H and 2B, so he’s obviously a very talented hitter.

    So even with a reduction in BABIP, I have a hard time believing he’ll score 32 less runs. Heck, Adam Jones and Austin Jackson had 100 and 99 runs respectively, and they don’t have nearly the on-base skills as Carpenter. And Jackson scored his 99 R in only 129 G. Yes, that was leading off for the league’s 2nd best offense (in total R scored), but guess who was 3rd last year? The Cardinals.

    • Carnac says:
      (link)

      Matt Carpenter has neither speed nor power. His counting stats are situational and predicated by the performance of others.

      Scoring 94 Runs is still a lot. It’s what you’d expect from a good OBP guy hitting atop a good lineup. 126 Runs is a fluke. Could lightning strike twice? Scientifically speaking, sure. But there’s a reason the saying is ‘lightning doesn’t strike twice.’

      • J says:
        (link)

        @Carnac: Lightning and counting stats are chance/random, but you make it sound like they are entirely so. The same way you use a lightning rod to attract and encourage lightning strikes, there are obviously factors that promote scoring runs. Such as:

        PAs: 3rd in MLB
        OBP: 11th in MLB, 2nd among leadoff hitters
        Team runs: 3rd in MLB

        If the argument against him is entirely based on him scoring way fewer runs, I don’t see the statistical evidence to support this. The stars align for Carpenter to be in the perfect situation for run scoring. While it makes sense for that number to regress somewhat considering the BABIP (more for BA than R), the numbers speak to it being a possibility, not a likelihood.

        • Last Chance says:
          (link)

          @J: The Cardinals had to shatter the previous team BARiSP by 19 points AND have 5 of the top 6 hitters in BARiSP for Matt Carpenter to become fantasy relevant. That record hasn’t been touched in 40 something years. Thats a pretty substantial statistic to support the evidence you cant see. :) Oh, that Beltran guy aint gonna be around either.

          • J says:
            (link)

            @Last Chance: Fantasy relevant? In terms of fantasy value, Carpenter was in the top 10 for hitters in ‘13. Poor choice of terms. He would have had to have done much much much worse, to be considered only fantasy relevant.

            But RISP historically doesn’t correlate well with total runs scored. In a vacuum, if you were to use the H/RISP score for the Cardinals and normalize to the league average RISP, they would have finished 29/30 in total R scored in 2013. Obviously the Cardinals were better offensively than that. With essentially the same lineup, the Cardinals were average in the category in 2012 (.264) and still finished top-5 in R in MLB. Statistically, you simply can’t use that statistic as much of a predictor.

        • Carnac says:
          (link)

          I don’t think I understand your point. The stats you list are all from last year, not 2014 projections.

          • J says:
            (link)

            @Carnac: You don’t understand or don’t agree?

            You said that Carpenter’s counting stats are mostly determined by external factors. I’m saying that while that is somewhat true, the external factors in his scenario all positively impact his counting stats (and most credible 2014 team projections are not available, so all I have are historical statistics).

            • Carnac says:
              (link)

              I guess I just don’t follow the logic. 2014 isn’t 2013.

              • J says:
                (link)

                @Carnac: You don’t understand the logic in using past performance as one of the predictors of future results? What a tedious and arduous process that must be.

                • Carnac says:
                  (link)

                  Past performance, yes. Past conditions, no.

      • goodfold2 says:
        (link)

        @Carnac: funny thing is, I read somewhere that no matter how ridiculously unlikely it is to get hit by lightning, it is more likely to get hit a 2nd time (still really rare, of course). something to do with a having a slightly different electrical makeup afterwards. This comment was NOT meant to apply to Carpenter, just lightning hitting people.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I’ll do an overrated post about him at some point…runs and average are the two ficklest categories and that was his value last year… Did the Cards offense get better in the offseason?

      • J says:
        (link)

        @Grey: DIdn’t it?

        The hitting SS juggernauts of Daniel Descalso and Pete Kozma have been replaced with Jhonny Peralta. Not to mention Oscar Taveras likely to play a larger role. The only departure was David Freese while adding Bourjos. I’d say that’s an improvement, or at worst, the same.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Beltran? Team’s gonna be a bit worse, not much worse… Still hard to predict anyone getting 105+ runs and a .310+… Which Carpenter would need…

          • J says:
            (link)

            @Grey: Good point with Beltran. Forgot about him. He didn’t have a great year by any means, but it will make a difference. I think the additions will make them a better team record wise, but you’re right – I’d say the offensive production will be about the same.

            But I just have one last comment about Carpenter:

            Using Baseball Monster’s system, I computed Carpenter’s value based on your projection in this article – 94/12/69/.304/4.

            After doing the math, Carpenter comes up with a positive value of 0.29. Although nothing spectacular, that would come in as the 45th ranked hitter overall and the 5th ranked 2B (using the 2013 player universe).

            Considering that I think your projection is a bit too conservative, I see him as well worth his draft price.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Gotcha

          • J-FOH says:
            (link)

            @Grey: is he even going to hit leadoff this year. Might Bourjos take over lead off and place Carpe Dumponmyteam bat 2nd?

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Yup, that too

              • J-FOH says:
                (link)

                @Grey: Oh snap!….careful then you’ll get “the will carpenter have 100 RBI’s” questions

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Yup

                • J says:
                  (link)

                  @J-FOH:

                  Not sure how batting 2nd would decrease his value much.

                  2 hole hitters average only about 18 less PAs than leadoff hitters. A few less R and a few more RBI. Value would be likely very similar.

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @J: what’s that thing they do to help the team yet hurts their fantasy value *hmmmm* sacrifice a man over, if it’s the AL then I would agree, but in the NL, I’m not getting overly excited.

                    I think the point you are missing here is that he will be way over valued and people are going to draft him way too high and you could get better value elsewhere and get a better player where you would have to draft him in most leagues.

                    • J says:
                      (link)

                      @J-FOH:

                      Sacrifices? Really?

                      -The league leader last year had only 16.
                      -11 of the top 20 were pitchers.
                      -The only position players who batted mostly towards the top of the order while also having more than 10 for the year were from the AL.

                      You’re overestimating the impact, and the frequency, of sacrifices. Sorry.

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @J: by sacrifices are you talking fly balls, by moving a guy over, his approach at the plate? which one. I would find it hard to believe that the most are only 16 when it comes to move a guy over with a properly place ground ball.

                    It’s ok, guys like you come in here a lot and want to be right and for Grey to be wrong. You are probably a cards fan and can’t accept anything negative against that juggernaut of a team they were. we play it a little more conservative in here and for good reason. You obviously failed to read the last paragraph of my previous post or failed to acknowledge it because it’s the truth. but please draft him high and maybe you will be right and then you can have a party for one to celebrate that little victory.

                    • J says:
                      (link)

                      @J-FOH:

                      You’re the one that used the term “sacrifice.” I assumed you meant hits (bunts) not sac flies, since that is the classic definition of “small ball” often credited to the NL (again, something you brought up). But even so, the league leader in SF was in the AL.

                      But regardless, you’re wrong about my intentions. I have a different view of Carpenter than Grey – so be it – yet I wanted to understand his rationale. Since I still disagreed with his response, I wanted to civilly give him the reasons I feel otherwise. There’s a reason why comments are enabled on this site.

                      It wasn’t until comments like “Oh snap!….careful then you’ll get “the will carpenter have 100 RBI’s” questions,” that it became ridic.

                      This is Grey’s site, so I understand that most readers/fans will flock to his defense. But even Grey would tell you that dissent is ok (although you obviously feel otherwise).

    • Sky

      Sky says:
      (link)

      @J: My general stance on Carpenter is that he looks, plays and smells like Skip Schumaker circa 2008. Doesn’t take much for your team to slide you down the lineup or let you not become a regular when you were a UTIL guy just a year prior and have one big year under your belt. Count me in on not being sold on Carpenter being a .300 hitter staple at the top of a lineup. In general, I hate drafting a guy counting on his lineup to make him matter. 11/3 won’t float many boats.

      • Carnac says:
        (link)

        +1

  41. Prez says:
    (link)

    Wong and madams.. ha what a great image.. someone needs to find or photoshop that! Skyyyyy, front and center!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      HA

  42. Curt says:
    (link)

    my league has a 3 player minor system, should I keep Olt?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      What are your choices?

      • Curt says:
        (link)

        @Grey: it will be open….I’m keeping Nick Castellanos

        • Curt says:
          (link)

          @Curt: basically my question is, is Olt still a viable player, or should I draft a newbie…….thanks ,
          blue
          blood Commissioner!!!!

          • Grey

            Grey says:
            (link)

            He’s viable

  43. Nicky Numbnuts says:
    (link)

    Hi Grey,

    With your Rankings coming out I know baseball season is near. I need some advice as to my last few keepers. 10 team roto, OBP league. Pick 3: Kinsler, Rizzo, Hamilton & Hamels. Thanks for your help!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Not Hamels

      • Nicky Numbnuts says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Thanks!

  44. Al lydon says:
    (link)

    Been off the Internet the last few days. 2B rankings are always pretty funny from you. But your Catcher rankings were hilarious. I mean you were on top of your game on these. I was laughing so much my wife thought I was watching comedy central highlights. You really should do mid season and end of season Catcher updates. Or do a standup routine about them. Seriously good stuff Grey, made my whole day.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Thanks!

  45. Bodacious Taters says:
    (link)

    Gyorko @ $1 or M.Carpenter @ $5 ? Shabbat shalom y’all :-)

  46. Dkohn says:
    (link)

    I know we’re only on second base, but I think I speak for Razzball Nation when I say we all wait with bated breath for Greycarlo’s post.

    Did you guys hear Grey bumped him out of the top 20?
    I know, crazy! He has been getting hurt a lot though.
    You think it’s cause he’s spending too much time with Grey and not enough working out?
    I don’t know…
    Are they still together?
    I DON’T KNOW!
    DAMMIT!!!

    • matt says:
      (link)

      @Dkohn: He fist pumped his way outta the top 20 by playing for a minor league team from South Jersey I mean “Miami”

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Hahaha

  47. matt says:
    (link)

    Gosh! Catcher, 1b now 2nd base…im gonna need extra Prozac by the time we get to SS! Haha Carpenter scores 115 runs this year..I feel it. A cardinal being eager to fly into my picture window told me so…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha, yup

  48. matt says:
    (link)

    I just checked my 2014 fantasy draft forcast on my handheld super computer and it said “likely cloudy with a 50% chance of completely sucking ass”

    • matt says:
      (link)

      @matt: another spectacular write up Grey.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
        (link)

        Thanks!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      *hitters sucking ass

      • matt says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Yup MLB should hire A Rod and Tony Bosh as preformance consultants. Hehe

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Hehe

  49. J-FOH says:
    (link)

    if Matt Carpenter hits leadoff and Allen Craig stays healthy and Matt Adams loses 80 lbs and Oscar Taveras becomes the second coming of Pujols and bourjos brings some of Mike trout’s mojo with him and Wong feeds everyone tiger penis every Tuesday and Mike Matheny stops being such a bitch ass and the star align 12 times in the season while a mule plays stairway to heaven with a flute out of his ass then i think for sure Carpenter gets 125 runs.

    • matt says:
      (link)

      @J-FOH: 115 runs, cardinals never lie or use PED’s :-)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Think more like the stars aligning 14 times… I haven’t done the math though

      • matt says:
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        @Grey: My calculations say that Tiger Wong twice a week is good enough for at least an extra 25 runs per season :-)

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Tiger Wong’s chicken is the best in the world!

          • matt says:
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            Tiger Woods Chicken is always White! “Never mix dark meat with my whitemmeat”

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Haha

      • J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @Grey: i was giving a favorable astronomical alignment there. You are right 14 times would be more accurate. I feel exposed like such a fraud right now

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Haha

        • matt says:
          (link)

          Tiger Wong Tuesday’s and Tiger Tonsils Thursday’s (that’s removal of the Wong from throat day) You stand corrected! Haha

          • matt says:
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            Tonsilectomy are preformed on Saturdays by Dr. Mark McGuire and his assistant Nurse Barry Bonds

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Extra novocaine (not novocaine)…

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Tiger Wong’s shrimp is overrated though

            • J-FOH says:
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              @Grey: very over rated, but his robster sauce is to die for

              • Grey

                Grey says:
                (link)

                Rob Kardashian has had too much Robster sauce… Doode’s gotten big…

                • J-FOH says:
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                  @Grey: I could kick his ass and i don’t use robster sauce

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
                    (link)

                    I agree

                    • J-FOH says:
                      (link)

                      @Grey: if I have to read anymore of these razz haters in the comments I’m going to go find the first guy that looks like him and beat the crap out of him

                    • J says:
                      (link)

                      @Grey: Who doesn’t love all the penis and ’80s references?

                      But if everyone who has a difference of opinion with Grey is suddenly a “hater,” then this site will be trading dangerously close to Matthew Berry territory.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Differing opinions doesn’t bother me… Chocolate and vanilla… I prefer chocolate in this instance…

                    • J says:
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                      @Grey:
                      I prefer swirl. And in a cone.

                      But you apparently have some readers who’d rather eat whatever you’re eating, and lick it straight off your chest, to impress you.

                      Feels somewhat John Hinckley-esque.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Does that make me a prostitot Jodie Foster?

                    • J says:
                      (link)

                      @Grey: It depends. I believe that move’s called the fudge sundae. There’s also the strawberry, caramel, and butt-er-crotch. *All can be served with or without nuts.

                      Now if you’d be willing to do any of those for money, the answer is yes, Clarice. I mean, Grey.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      I do enjoy a nice fudge sundae

              • matt says:
                (link)

                Off-topic if you’re ever in Indy St. Elmos Steakhouse Shrimp Cocktail is the greatest. I promise it is. Pretty expensive restaurant, but it’s worth it. The steaks are pretty awesome also

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  I’m gonna run that by Cougs and her family and get back to you…

  50. Dave says:
    (link)

    Is Cashner and Arenado in enough in return for Latos in keep forever league?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Sure

  51. MB says:
    (link)

    So judging by your top 10, and this list, you wouldn’t trade Cano for anyone below him on the top 20 even in a keeper league?

    Thank you in advance

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Maybe depends on other factors…

  52. Obmij76 says:
    (link)

    Hey Grey, h2h pts, keeper league. Keep 5. Only have Beltre(9th) worth keeping outside of Felix. Im dealing Felix(1st RD). Was offer Kipnis(3) and Bautista(22). Also was offer Posey(20), Gio(6),Choo(5). Lots of categories. Bascially OPS. Which deal to take? Thanks!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Take Kipnis deal

  53. The Vaporizers says:
    (link)

    Hello Grey, what is the earliest round in a 12 team mixed league you would select Rizzo? 5th? 4th? 7?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      6ish

  54. Teddy Heater says:
    (link)

    RIP Scary Half Face guy from Boardwalk! Why did you kill off my 2nd favorite guy!!!!!!!!!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha

    • Snake Hips says:
      (link)

      @Teddy Heater:@Teddy Heater: AHHHHH – haven’t seen any of season 4 yet because we ditched cable. Damn! Thanks guy!

  55. Dan says:
    (link)

    Masterson vs Beachy for 2014 and beyond?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Beachy

  56. Yeshcheese says:
    (link)

    Scooter is this year’s Carpenter. I nabbed Carpenter as the last starting MI off the board in two leagues last year. That’s value plain and simple, forget the babip and risp

    • J-FOH says:
      (link)

      @Yeshcheese: via texting with Sky: the Cardinals line up last year had 4 regulars bat over 300 with Beltran at 296, so basically 5 guys hitting for ridiculous average. Couple that with Carpenters 27.2% LD% and you have the making of a perfect storm for a 28 year old. I like scooter a lot too, I think he has a higher HR ceiling than Carpenter, but unfortunately he doesn’t have a lineup behind him that is going to knock him in an average of 21 times a month. The upside is nice, the player looked really good at times last year, but a situation like Carp had last year is unreasonable. I too will be grabbing scooter when it works in my favor but make sure you got a back up plan if the counting stats suck because the brewers have more question marks than the riddler

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, could be…

  57. John says:
    (link)

    Thanks for the site, I really enjoy it

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      No problem

  58. dk says:
    (link)

    Yay or nay on these keepers:

    BMoss $9, Utley $12, d’Arnaud $8, Cingrani/Kluber/Nova $14 each

    • J-FOH says:
      (link)

      @dk: yikes, are these your only options? Is this for the last keeper standing? What’s your budget? what have you kept? I’m not loving any of them. And where are these prices coming from, Nova at $14 is a lot

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Just Moss

  59. J-FOH says:
    (link)

    Have a great birthday weekend. Let me know what the vape shop situation is like when you get back.

    I just read that Carlos Santana is making the move to 3rd base. That really crappy 3rd base depth just got a small boost

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Thanks! That sounds crazy about Santana… Don’t see how he plays there…

      • J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @Grey: If Fat Panda can play third anybody can. Lets wait for the Garreth soliloquy to follow. He’ll keep us up to date

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          That is true…

    • Kid A says:
      (link)

      @J-FOH: And I just read that someone pegged you for John Hinkley today. *slide whistle down*

      • J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @Kid A: I doubt it, but I’m glad to see you still stalk me with the same fervor as last season. Thank you #1, you are my Grey and I am your Giancarlo

          • J-FOH says:
            (link)

            @Kid A: oh. Yeah. J doesn’t get the way grey projects. At least for guys he has boners for. Cherry picking stats pisses me off.

            What third world country you in now? We going to an A’s game this year?

            • J says:
              (link)

              @J-FOH: No problem with Grey. He and I are having sundaes. I’m not a criminal profiler, so I actually don’t get how you project.

              • J-FOH says:
                (link)

                @J: cute tune change

                • J says:
                  (link)

                  @J-FOH: Denial. You’re like Kathy Bates in Misery. Bet a lot of pets in your neighborhood went missing as a kid.

  60. J-FOH says:
    (link)

    I just saw a guy with a Marco Estrada jersey on

  61. Mike says:
    (link)

    Hey Grey –

    Would you trade Sale for 3 years @ $13 for Edwin E. for 1 year @ $40?

    Another offer, Sale for 3 years at $13 for Donaldson @ $1 this year and at $6 for the next two year $11 for the next 3 years?

    Thanks

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I’d take Donaldson

      • Mike says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Thanks Grey

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          No problem

  62. Bill says:
    (link)

    How bad did that Rutledge blurb taste? Lol

    Chris Davis for president!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha

  63. Richie Sextin says:
    (link)

    Love the Six Feet Under reference… Classic!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Thanks!

  64. Simps says:
    (link)

    I’m considering trading Cano for Hanley straight up. I just like Hanley in that Dodgers lineup more than Cano is Safeco. That would allow me to target Gyorko in the early rounds of the draft. Thoughts???

    Also, in a league devoid of power bats I thinking about keeping Pedro Alvarez over Choo. Do you agree?

    Would like to hear all opinions of those who have them. Thank you.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I’d want Cano and Choo

    • Simply Fred

      simply fred says:
      (link)

      @Simps:
      1.My initial concerns were similar regarding Cano. However, I ran his 3-yr stats vs. teams on Mariners schedule for 2014. He actually pencils out almost even to 2013 stats. So, don’t think he will drop much, if any, in Seattle (surprised me).
      2. Gyorko will return a lot more as 2B to pair with Hanley at SS, than any SS drafted near the same level as Gyorko to pair with Cano. I definitely see the lure.
      3. Most managers are going to take the consistency that Cano has brought over the downside of Hanley falling short of a full season of ABs.
      If one goes Hanley/Gyorko, I think a manager will definitely be ahead in counting stats–until Hanley goes down. Then, how do you pick up from FA the stats that Cano will pound out and surpass?
      If you believe Hanley strongly to get 600 AB, go that way.

  65. TheNewGuy says:
    (link)

    Been offer Gyorko (prospect) for either Segura ($0) or Kipnis ($6)

    Gyorko will be promoted for a free initial year, whereas I need to offer contracts to the other two which bumps up their salary cost.

    Gyorko at a free initial year then a contract feels mighty mighty valuable even in an OBP league. Due to the slight uncertainty over Segura’s true value (was he over his head 1st half), would I be a jerk to send him in a deal? Terrible team but man that Jerko can hit. Plus I have B Hamilton now for speed…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Hold

  66. goodfold2 says:
    (link)

    Daniel Fields OF DET or Andrew Toles OF TB for my next dynasty league pick. For some reason my fantasy website had Fields listed as SS (even though he’s been an OF for at least a whole year) so I ignored him, even though he’s ranked 4th of DET’s prospects by Scott. Scott advised Toles (who has more speed, but that could be the only thing he’s better at, but he is younger), but I didn’t mention to Scott that Fields was available, thinking at the time he was a MI. I really have too many MI prospects and am weak as shit at OF prospects. I asked Scott this too but my pick could be needed before he sees it.

    • goodfold2 says:
      (link)

      @goodfold2: BA has Toles ranked 6th for TB prospects.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Toles

      • goodfold2 says:
        (link)

        @Grey: i’m guessing since it’s more likely toles actually ends up starting and fields being a career 4th OF due to being terrible at lefties?

  67. Fish says:
    (link)

    “The Los Angeles Angels were reported to be among Tanaka’s final three choices by another Japanese newspaper last weekend, but we’ve since heard owner Arte Moreno suggest his team would have trouble fitting Tanaka into its budget.”

    HAHAHAHA!!!! Budget Problems!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      HAHAHA

  68. Paul says:
    (link)

    Hi Grey, 8 teams, ROTO, 3 keepers are Freeman, Cano, A. Beltre

    First to pick overall, my candidates for first round are Segura, J upton, C Beltran, Fielder, Sherzer, Gomez, Bautista, Kemp, Choo

    Should I choose other position, or take Fielder anyway…
    Except Fielder, Pick one for advice, Thanks.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Segura

      • Paul says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Hi Grey, Do you suggest to pick Fielder or Segura if I got 3 keepers (Freeman, Cano, A. Beltre) already? Thanks.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Segura

  69. goodfold2 says:
    (link)

    wow, that’s bad luck, with 6 picks till me at 113th overall i had tirado and toles to get, with one pick left till me (guy took over 18 hours too) toles gets taken. jesus.

  70. Stock says:
    (link)

    My targets at Fielder,Gyorko,Donaldson,Cabreara, Jones,Bruce,Hamilton,Springer,Pujols…What do you think of this lineup? My pitch might be one of the big guys, sale,, and then anibal, Homer, Gray,Miller. Would appreciate your thoughts. Thanks

  71. AJ says:
    (link)

    You might regret leaving Tommy La Stella off this list. I could him pulling a Matt Carpenter this year if (when?) he beats out Uggla.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Guess we’ll see…

Comments are closed.