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We already went over the top 20 catchers and the top 20 1st basemen for 2013 fantasy baseball.  Today, we dip our big toe into the top 20 2nd basemen.  End of the season-wise, the 2nd basemen don’t seem as shallow as I thought they were in the preseason, but, really, they’re not that much deeper on second glance.  They are just barely shallower than shortstops, but it’s so close, I’m sure an argument could be made for the shortstops being shallower.  Before you make that argument, remember what you’re arguing about.  To recap, this final ranking for last year is from our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater with my comments.  The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2013 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

1. Robinson Cano – You can set your watch to his stats.  If you have a watch with an RBIs hand and a batting average hand.  I’ve liked owning him the past two seasons.  I could own him again next year too, depending on where he signs…Let’s go Rockies!  (Yes, of course, he’s going to be an Angel.  Arte Moreno just sold Zimbabwe on eBay for $400 million to lock Cano up for two years.)  Preseason Rank #1, 2013 Projections:  105/30/110/.310/4, Final Numbers: 81/27/107/.314/7

2. Jason Kipnis – I have an excuse for my poor projections and ranking for Kipnis.  He had one full year under his belt and I thought his collapse in the 2nd half last season was a sign he wasn’t going to be good this year.  Turned out he’s just a 1st half hitter.  Noted and that morsel of info stashed in my brain cheeks for next year.  Just trade him in July.  Just trade him in July.  Just–ooh, birdie.  Preseason Rank #12, 2013 Projections:  78/15/72/.251/15, Final Numbers:  86/17/84/.284/30

3. Matt Carpenter – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen post.

4. Daniel Murphy – Nothing says I love you like a hundred dollar bill.  Nothing says yawnstipating like Daniel Murphy.  Pretty weird year for 2nd basemen since a guy that was ranked 4th overall (and probably Carpenter above him in most leagues) wasn’t even owned the whole year.  The Cardinals giving counting stats up the wazoo (though, shouldn’t it be out the wazoo?) makes sense.  The Cardinals were good.  The Mets were not good and here Murphy sits like King Shizz from Shinola.  He tore the ceiling off his steals projection, built a sunroof above that, then tore that off, grabbed onto a passing hot air balloon and rose even higher.  I’m trying to make all of these recaps about this year and not next, but Murphy has no chance of being in my top ten next year, let alone top five.  If you owned him, you enjoyed his career year.  Preseason Rank #29, 2013 Projections:  65/4/60/.295/6, Final Numbers:  92/13/78/.286/23

5. Dustin Pedroia – Solid year from Pedroia…If he only had 300 ABs.  When he had around 3 homers on the year in May, I told you to sell him because he was playing with an injured thumb.  He never got right and his power numbers were way down.  If you didn’t heed my advice — you no heed me?  Why, over-the-internet friend? — the good news is Jeff Keppinger could show up for 160 games in the middle of the Red Sox order and get counting stats, so Pedroia did just that.  Preseason Rank #3, 2013 Projections:  90/17/100/.291/20, Final Numbers:  91/9/84/.301/17

6. Brandon Phillips – This is obvious like the latest Malcolm Gladwell book, but offense is like the homeless man who hides in a hamper in The Container Store — stinky.  Phillips had 103 RBIs and ranked tenth for all of baseball.  He ranked 4th for the NL!  As recently as 2012, he would’ve ranked 15th for all of baseball.  In 2008, he would’ve ranked 21st overall.  In 2001, he would’ve ranked 37th overall tied with Corey Koskie and Cliff Floyd.  And you thought the next time you heard Corey Koskie’s name was when your mom remarried and you had to start calling Corey, “Dad.”  Preseason Rank #4, 2013 Projections:  82/18/75/.275/15, Final Numbers:  80/18/103/.261/5

7. Ian Kinsler – His power was way off, and maybe there’s a reason for it.  I’m not sure if I believe this 100%, but it could be true.  Frequent commenter, OaktownSteve, relayed this message, “Something you probably didn’t know but will want to think about next year:  Arlington was only the 19th best place to hit home runs.  I heard their announcer and former GM Tom Grieve on MLB radio yesterday and he said when the ballpark was built they made it so that it could be easily reconfigured.  In the offseason, they put a model of the stadium in a water tank with die in it to simulate wind currents and based on what they found they rebuilt the stadium club behind home plate and the end result was no more jet stream.  Interesting that it coincided with the departure of Hamilton, who benefited from it more than anybody.”  And that’s me quoting OaktownSteve!  Preseason Rank #2, 2013 Projections:  102/25/77/.258/20, Final Numbers:  85/13/72/.277/15

8. Jed Lowrie – I liked Lowrie better when he struggled to hit .250 and hit 15 homers in two-thirds of a season.  This year his peripherals changed fairly dramatically.  His K-rate dropped, his line drive rate went up, ground balls went up (not literally), fly balls went down (literally) and his homers per fly ball ratio was down.  It seems odd that at 29 years old he’d become a different hitter, but he was.  For this year, at least.  Preseason Rank #20 for shortstops, 2013 Projections:  52/17/62/.254/2, Final Numbers:  80/15/75/.290/1

9. Ben Zobrist – For next year’s projections, I almost want to take what I think players are going to do and subtract 25%.  I’ve made this suggestion before, but I’ll do it again in all caps BRING BACK STEROIDS!  Not that Zobrist ever did steroids, as any self-respecting announcer would immediately say to avoid a lawsuit, then he’d go on to talk at length about how said player would never, ever, ever do steroids.  Finally, he’d talk about the player’s charity organization.  In Zobrist’s case, his charity is BMW.  Buy My Wife’s album.  Preseason Rank #5, 2013 Projections:  85/18/75/.264/18, Final Numbers:  77/12/71/.275/11

10. Chase Utley – First realistic value play that was drafted.  Though, the only one that drafted him is probably the old guy in your league that calls everyone, “Son,” and cares if a player is a great hustler.  Murphy and Carpenter were obviously better value picks, but neither were drafted in most mixed leagues.  Utley was drafted with the hope of some returning glory.  And you got it.  Emphasis on ‘some,’ he didn’t win anyone any leagues.  Preseason Rank #14, 2013 Projections:  68/14/74/.267/10, Final Numbers:  73/18/69/.284/8

11. Jose Altuve – I heard the craziest thing the other day while standing below the window at the main conference room at Elias Sports Bureau.  Altuve stole 30 of 35 bases this year the day after he slept in the palm of Chris Carter’s hand.  Preseason Rank #9, 2013 Projections:  87/8/43/.304/28, Final Numbers:  64/5/52/.283/35

12. Brian Dozier – “I like our chances.  We have Aaron Hicks, Oswaldo Arcia and Dozier coming back with another year under their belt.  Kevin Correia worked with our pitchers, so they’re gonna be better.  Watch out, Tigers!”  That’s the Delusional Twins Fan.  Actually, it’s not fair to group Arcia and Hicks in with Dozier.  Hicks and Arcia could take a step forward.  Dozier?  Well, since he had 5-homer, 10-steal speed coming into this year with a likely .230 average, I wouldn’t expect to ever see a year like this from him again.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  72/18/66/.244/14

13. Martin Prado – Two mouthfuls of Viagra and Thora Birch as my next door neighbor and I couldn’t get excited about Prado.  He’s still better than Kevin Spacey talking into the camera in House of Cards.  Ugh, what a painful show.  Preseason Rank #16, 2013 Projections:  86/12/68/.298/12, Final Numbers:  70/14/82/.282/3

14. Jedd Gyorko – Now here excitement, I have.  And like Yoda, I talk.  In only 125 games, Gyorko hit 23 homers, and for a good month while he was playing he wasn’t even healthy.  The K-rate went up a bit this year from his minor league years, but I’m not sure that’s due to the talent level being raised or the injury.  It could be a bit of both.  Preseason Rank #23, 2013 Projections:  60/18/70/.265/4, Final Numbers:  62/23/63/.249/1

15. Howie Kendrick – Without his injury, he would’ve been right about on par with my preseason projections for counting stats.  I don’t say this to toot my own horn, but if I could toot my own horn, I wouldn’t be writing this, I’d be making videos for Red Tube.  Preseason Rank #17, 2013 Projections:  70/10/78/.290/14, Final Numbers:  55/13/54/.297/6

16. Omar Infante – If you’re in a 12-team league that starts an MI, you could make a case for Infante being your MI all year.  That case would be crackers and you would’ve lost your league.  But you could make the case.  Maybe you’ll get George Zimmerman’s jury.  Preseason Rank #27, 2013 Projections: 62/7/67/.270/9, Final Numbers:  54/10/51/.318/9

17. Neil Walker – Weird fall off for steals this year.  I guess some years he just doesn’t feel like running.  Must be something to do with his name.  Preseason Rank #18, 2013 Projections:  75/14/82/.272/9, Final Numbers:  62/16/53/.251/1

18. Mike Aviles – Can I be honest with you?  Do we have a strong enough rapport for that?  Okay, cool.  Here goes my confession:  I had no idea what team Aviles was on when I wrote this up.  I knew it was the AL, but I wasn’t sure which one.  Talk about making an impression!  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  54/9/46/.252/8

19. Ryan Raburn – 2nd base eligibility + some power + platoon player = Nosferatu.  Wow, the math is way off there.  Was supposed to be “The reason Ryan Raburn was ranked in the top 20.”  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  40/16/55/.272

20. Emilio Bonifacio – I truly believe that Bonifacio could’ve been a top ten 2nd baseman, as I ranked him in the preseason, if the Blue Jays just would’ve helped him along a little.  When he stole 16 bases in 42 games with the Royals and hit .285, he was getting helped along.  (I have no idea what helping along a player means.  Maybe sending them encouraging texts with lots of emoticons.)  Preseason Rank #10, 2013 Projections:  79/3/49/.263/42, Final Numbers:  54/3/31/.243/28

  1. costaricanchata says:
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    what’s the name of that guy who used to play 2nd base for the braves ?

    • Curt says:
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      @costaricanchata: He’s one Uggla Mother F’er!!!!!!!!!!

  2. TheNewGuy says:
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    Infant(e) hit .318 yet only scored 54 runs on the Tigers? I thought that guy had had (stutterer!) a big breakout, im sure the team that finished 2nd in my league used him at MI most of the season due to his great OBP.

    But how the eff did he only have 54 friggin runs? Thats low even for a 9 hole hitter on a bad team. And why the eff wasnt he batting higher with that on base ability, he’d be a much better option than K-machine Jackson or Di(r)cks who was batting there all year surely.

    I swear managers favour power-speed guys at the top of the lineup over high on-base guys way too often, even though the power-speed guys often fail to even crack a .340 OBP. Best lead-off hitter this year.

    And ive just checked Infante’s stats, seems he had a great AVG but hardly walked at all….shizz that puts an end to my arguement, must have been getting confused with him and Carpenter.

    One (fairly) useful point though, check out all the high OBP guys from this season, nearly all of them are sluggers over lead-off guys. The best table-setter OBP after the big 3 guys (carp, trout, bass I mean choo) was Dexter Fowler, whuut? Even Ells who we thought wouldve been great only had a .355 OBP,

    Shows why runs were down this year, only 9 guys topped 100 runs, whuut? Lead-off guys just couldnt get on base well enough this year, and yet Matt Carpenter scored 126 runs despite no speed (3 SBs). Time for managers to value on-base over speed at the top of the lineup?

    And the low runs totals explain the low RBIs totals for players that you mention Grey, table setters just werent on base enough for sluggers this year, so no wonder RBIs are down. It’s your fault lead off guys, we’re all looking at you!

    And there you have it, finally reached a meaningful conclusion! Offense was down because lead-off guys couldnt do their job this year.

    • TheNewGuy says:
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      @TheNewGuy: Oh and forgot to mention that only 4 guys (4!) went 30/100/100 this year: Davis, Miggy, Jones (despite his abysmal .314 OBP) and Goldshit. W O W that is ridiculous….

      • Yeshcheese says:
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        @TheNewGuy: you might have something there. Seems like there’s been a value for power hitters in the lead off to compensate, to the loss of OBP

        • TheNewGuy says:
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          @Yeshcheese: Thanks. Now for Cramhole to come along and poop all over my idea/post. Where are you cram!

    • Cram It says:
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      @TheNewGuy: Shorter answers: Infante only played 2/3 of a season.

      Billy Beane’s been playing the OBP over speed strategy for some time now…

      • TheNewGuy says:
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        @Cram It: Of course he has.

        So why dont more managers take note is my question? Leading off (or batting 2nd) with Bourn, Andrus, L Martin, Altuve, Rollns is just absurd given their OBP’s. These are not good offensive players despite their speed, they deserve to be hitting towards the bottom of the lineup.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @TheNewGuy: I’ll get to how far runs were down in the next post, the shortstops… Infante didn’t hit at the top of the order, fwiw…

      • Justin says:
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        @Grey: All I am going to say is that next year a lot of my drafting will be based upon one stat………. OPS. OPS is the best indicator for me to get all of the counting stats you need. Not just last years OPS, carrer OPS minors included. Great post though man.

  3. Yeshcheese says:
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    Am I crazy to think of Matt Carpenter as a keeper over proven average commodities like Allen Craig and even over unproven youth like Xander Bogartts?

    • Blue says:
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      @Yeshcheese: I’ve got him in the 21st Round an I am keeping him. I’m really surprised he went undrafted in a lot of leagues last year; I would have thought decent production and multi-position ability would have secured him a space somewhere,

  4. slew says:
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    Sources are saying that Dusty is out as Reds manager – Huzzah!!

    • TheNewGuy says:
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      @slew: Its about time they made a change.

      Dusty turned them into a winning club (or was it inevitable with Bruce, Phillips, Votto, Bailey, Cueto all coming through). Either way they’ve been total garbage in the playoffs the last few years, looking totally overawed, time to make a change.

      In other news the toothpick industry is reportedly on the brink of suffering a major loss in sales.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @slew: Not sure why this is good…

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @Grey: at least i’ll be less worried about bailey/latos’s arms next year. that jackass keeps those guys in after 114 pitches routinely.

  5. Dave says:
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    Utley won me my league

    • Curt says:
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      @Dave: Medlen won my league down the stretch…..Thank God the playoffs don’t count……

  6. papasmurf says:
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    Looks like without the magic elixir the end for Brandon Phillips is nearing. His value was strictly in RBI. Speed gone. Power no where to go but down. Unless he hits .338 BA with RISP again, he’s not coming close to 100 RBI. .265 75 12 75 7 next year?

    Not that he does steroids or HGH. He would never ever ever do that. He works weekends at the charities for people with restless leg syndrome, which is why he only stole 5 bases in 2013.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @papasmurf: Haha… Yeah, he’s just about done, this past season was prolly his last hurrah…

  7. Shake N Bacon says:
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    Wow, didn’t know Gyorko hit 23 homers. I spent some FAAB on him early in the season, and after a month I was stupid and dropped him (as well as Jose Fernandez). Patience…I need to learn.

    Looking back at Kipnis’ split stats, if you don’t count June (for batting average sake), he hit .257 on the year. But it’s hard to argue with his end of season stats.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Shake N Bacon: Yeah, he has huge splits two years running now… Agreed on the full season stats…

    • Fungazi says:
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      @Shake N Bacon: Gyorko hit 15 ding dongs in the last two months including 4 in the last 4 days which is probably why it snuck by many people. Possible 75-35-90-.260 next year starting to get into prime power age territory.

      • Fungazi says:
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        @Fungazi: *3 in the last 4 days that is.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        35 would be a huge jump… 27-30 seems possible though…

      • Shake N Bacon says:
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        @Fungazi: Yeah I guess that’s why I didn’t really notice how well he did this year. If only he wasn’t in Petco, he could put up some impressive power numbers for an infielder.

        Thanks for the 411 Fungazi!

  8. TheNewGuy says:
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    4 playoff games today (4!). Probably the best playoff day of the year (aside from game 7).

    Baseball heaven baby!

  9. Wake Up says:
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    Sometimes I picture you…picturing me…picturing you…picturing Johnny C Stanton lying in a bed of roses…with Jackie Bradley Jr covering Jon Bon Jovi…singing “I want to lay you down in a”…while walking…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Wake Up: I got an old coat for a pillow and a Gatorade next to my bed…

      • Wake Up says:
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        @Grey: and Wes Bentley is watching the whole thing…gladly, I am not a fan of JBJ or JBJ…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Wes Bentley is a little punk, leave my teenage, creepy fantasies alone!

  10. Tom Jacks

    Tom Jacks says:
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    So which position had more top 20 guys available on waivers: catchers or second basemen? It could be worth punting second basemen next year, or at least the first several rounds, from the looks of it… Early strategy: “Cano or Gyorko”

    And thumbs down for House of Cards? I’ve been hearing a lot of hype, and have been meaning to check it out, but haven’t yet…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Huh? No, I hated House of Cards… I’ve been saying for years to punt middle infield… If you have a number 5 draft pick the last two years though, you’re kinda stuck with Cano… In a good way…

      • Tom Jacks

        Tom Jacks says:
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        @Grey: Yeah, but this list looks even less enticing than usual for second baseman, if that’s at all possible. Usually there were multiple guys who could be reasonable in the first few rounds, but now even some of the “safer” guys look scary, like Kinsler, Pedroia, Phillips, Zobrist, etc.

        And I meant that I was contemplating watching House of Cards, but you may have swayed me the other way.

          • Tom Jacks

            Tom Jacks says:
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            @Grey: Fair enough. I had higher expectations for nearly everybody, at least in terms of OPS categories, but they managed to disappoint across the board… Maybe I can’t convert player value to 5×5 leagues anymore? But that’s ok because that way Votto can continue to be a first-rounder for me!

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Haha… You’re a man of a different time, Tom Jacks. You’re stuck in 2012!

              • Tom Jacks

                Tom Jacks says:
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                @Grey: David Ortiz came to me in a dream during the preseason and told me it was for the best. Chris Davis did the same thing later that week, but I assumed it was another Bill James nightmare…

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Ha! Luckily, Buster Posey didn’t bother you

        • TheNewGuy says:
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          @Cram It: Changed your name too? Guess it was a bit stupidly long@Tom Jacks: The 2nd best 2B now could be Kipnis…

          Still think SS is much weaker though.

  11. Shake N Bacon says:
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    Matt F#ckin Carpenter is a top 10 OF too. Wow.

    Semi-related 2b question for you Grey. In a keeper league, where you already have Scherzer, would you trade Kipnis for Jose Fernandez? No $ value or round value associated with either player.

    I’ve always been against keeping many (if any) starting pitchers over the past few years. Offense really is at a premium right now. But having Scherzer and Fernandez, I could concentrate my draft on offense and get some late round upside SP picks and stream the rest. Just thinking out loud here…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      No, I’d keep Kipnis…

      • Shake N Bacon says:
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        @Grey: Yeah, I agree with you. As electric (overused term) as Jose Fernandez was this year, pitching is really deep and injuries to pitchers are more prevalent.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yup

  12. TJ says:
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    Good offseason debate now when looking at the numbers- is there more positional scarcity at 1B or 2B now?
    Cano has obviously been head and shoulders above the rest of the 2b group for a few years now, but it seems like there are a decent amount of players available later in the draft where you won’t take as much of a hit stats-wise.
    1b has a few more top echelon guys, but the drop-off is much quicker there.

    Essentially you could draft Cano in the first and shoot for a mid-level 1b a few rounds later, and end up with something like Cano/Trumbo or Cano/Belt.
    Or you could take a Goldy in the first round and end up with a 2b like Utley or Zobrist a few rounds later.

    Basically it boils down to me deciding to keep Goldy for 2014 over Cano and I need to sort of talk myself into it.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’d want Goldy

  13. Gareth says:
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    Are you going to have to be ahead of the Curve AGAIN Grey and predict new Breakouts to replace Goldy, Jones ect ect.

    I am afraid that these Grey touted guys will be Too Expensive or go too high next year, so the value will be lessened. They may also get injured. Surely One of Goldy, C. Davis, Jones, Cano will not be able to go all season Healthy like this year.

    How about this:

    C – Who Cares, Ramos? Anybody.
    1B Goldshmidt. Cheaper – Pujols.
    2B Cano. Already Drafted? Gjorko. Someone nabbed him too? Miller?
    3B Miggy. You Drafted 3rd and picked Goldy? Gyorko? Seager? A Sneaky Value Wright pick?
    SS Segura, He’s going to be overrated. Grab your Tutu and pick Desmond.
    OF Jones. 1st rounder. You Missed out. How about a flyer on Heyward. He’s used up all his bad luck in 2013 so he’s gotta stay healthy next year, right?
    OF Choo. If he goes to the Mets. Do not Choo-se him. Try some Cespedes. He MAY be the undervalued Cuban, even over Abreu if the hype machine goes into overdrive.
    OF C. Gomez. No Thanks. For your Third Outfielder, There’s about 50 guys who can offer something. Grab a Lottery ticket, or create a Platoony Tune Hybrid Monster.
    UT. Matt Carpenter. Matt Adams. Matt Holliday. Literally anybody on the Cardinals called Matt as that team makes Counting Stat Robots to play Baseball and it is not Fair.

    Pitching? So Bountiful.

    http://wallchips.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Minions-Despicable-Me-2-Movie-2013-Wallpaper.jpg

    So….

    C Ramos
    1B Pujols
    2B Gjorko
    3B Wright
    SS Desmond
    OF Heyward
    OF Cespedes
    OF Platoon Hybrid Monster
    UT Robot Cardinal

    Hello 5th place 2014!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Pujols? Wright? Is this for 3 years ago?

      • Gareth says:
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        @Grey: I need your Jedi skills Grey. You’re my only hope. Find the New Breakouts we are looking for!

      • Gareth says:
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        @Grey: Theres also a case for undervalued veterans over Shiny young overhyped toys.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, you also seem like you drafted 5 guys in the first 3 rounds…

          • Gareth says:
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            @Grey: It was kind of an inexact experiement to make a point. I hear ya though. Cespedes, Heyward, Wright, Desmond could all go pretty close to one another.

            It would be cool to see a value pick Article from you at some point this offseason. So many emerging and declining guys in MLB right now, its hard to sort the Wheat from the Chaff.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Value pick articles come in March when there’s a better idea where others are drafting guys…

              • Gareth says:
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                @Grey: I have to wait til MARCH!!!!!!

                Having. Baseball. Withdrawal………….

  14. Gareth says:
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    Speaking of Offense being down, look at this 1995 Cleveland Indians lineup:

    OF Kenny Lofton
    SS Omar Vizquel
    2B Carlos Baerga
    OF Albert Belle
    3B Jim Thome
    DH Eddie Murray
    OF Manny Ramirez
    C Sandy Alomar Jr
    1B Paul Sorrento

    The Entire lineup hit .300. Manny Ramirez batted 7th! How does this offense rank all time?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Slightly behind the 1995 Braves? What, too soon?

      • Gareth says:
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        @Grey: This is why I hate the Marlins. The Braves made the Postseason for like 15 straight years with Maddux, Glavine, Smoltz in the rotation and won it Once.

        The Indians Consistently with a juggernaught offense won Championships in the 90’s and got to the World series Twice, winning None.

        The Marlins were formed in 1993 and have already won 2 World Series. Once with Free Agent Mercenaries and the second time with Kids, emerging from a Fire Sale from those mercenaries. I HATE that team and hope Jeffrey Loria Runs that Shitty Franchise into the ground.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Agreed and agreed

  15. TheNewGuy says:
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    Sanchez will start Game 3 of the ALDS, the Detroit Free Press reports.
    Spin: Based on regular season performance, an argument could have been made for Sanchez to be given the nod in Game 1 or 2. Sanchez was electric for the Tigers during their 2012 playoff run, and the team will be hoping for similar results this year. He’s a solid option for playoff leagues.

    Off ESPN site. The last line was what intrigued me, theres such thing as playoff leagues (or was it a joke)?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      There’s some, I played in one once, it’s silly, half your team gets eliminated by the first week…

      • TheNewGuy says:
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        @Grey: Yeah i bet it is. I can’t see any on ESPN though, so dunno what they are advertising…

  16. TheNewGuy says:
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    Cole looks goooooood.

    One of January Greys pitching loves right?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Probably more like February but yeah

  17. OaktownSteve says:
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    I’m ye olde Utley drafter.

    Wind is blowing 50 mph in Oakland. Trees down everywhere. Power outage in the hills. All fire teams in Bay Area out fire spotting. 80+ degrees. Negative humidity. Earthquake weather. In other words, time to start drinkin’.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yikes, be safe

      • OaktownSteve says:
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        @Grey:

        Be safe In Oakland? Where?

        • TheNewGuy says:
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          @OaktownSteve: Ha. Going to any of the Tigers series Steve?

          • OaktownSteve says:
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            @TheNewGuy:

            3 tix for every post season game they play here

            • TheNewGuy says:
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              @OaktownSteve: Awesome. Good luck tonight im rooting for you guys!

              Remember the series vs the Tigers last year, what an epic. Would love something like that again, with a different final result.

              • OaktownSteve says:
                (link)

                @TheNewGuy:

                Game 1 and 2 have really interesting pitching match ups. Writing this will be the last semi sober thing I do today. Bout to head for the tailgate at the Oh. Fired up.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yeah, no? I guess it goes without saying in Oakland…

          • OaktownSteve says:
            (link)

            @Grey:

            Kidding of course. Oaktown is tits

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              I want some of your gravy drippings bread!

              • OaktownSteve says:
                (link)

                @Grey:

                Dood…the most unlikely bestest thing. I would dominate Top Chef: Razzball

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  It reminds me of a poor man’s rillette…

  18. Gareth says:
    (link)

    DET:
    Scherzer (21-3, 2.90)
    OAK:
    Colon (18-6, 2.65)

    LOOK AT COLON!

    Maybe the Indians shouldn’t have traded him for Cliff Lee, Brandon Phillips and Grady Sizemore……….

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Hehe

  19. Gareth says:
    (link)

    It appears Lynn is taking his season into the Postseason.

    1-1.

    Should be an interesting series.

    Kelly V Liriano. 1-2

    Wacha V Morton 2-2

    Game 5 – Wainwright V Burnett matchup.

    I never thought I’d say this but, Come on AJ Burnett!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I don’t think any of those games are walks for either team, definitely interesting

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Hehe

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      My teat is sore! I read it already, thanks! Also retweeted it…

      • J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @Grey: thanks….you tweet, thought that wouls be too technoeeee for you

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          I just clicked the tweet button and voila, snitches! (JayWrong taught me)

          • J-FOH says:
            (link)

            @Grey: wow, the insight I get into the teachable moments

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              You’re welcome!

  20. TheNewGuy says:
    (link)

    So to sum the games up so far:

    Lynn- awful
    Cole- Awesome
    Moore- good start but falling apart now.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Wasn’t Moore’s fault

  21. Johan Barleycorn says:
    (link)

    Almighty Grey,

    I’m in a 10-team H2H 6×6 league (OBP and Holds). I can keep 5 guys. Pitching is at a premium. Most teams keep minimal hitters and have a deep bench of pitchers they rotate in and out throughout the week. I have the following guys worth keeping:

    Chris Davis
    Adam Jones
    Manny Machado
    Edwin Encarnacion
    Jean Segura
    Matt Harvey

    Let’s assume Harvey is healthy come Opening Day. Should I consider keeping him over any of my hitters? There is likely to be more pitchers than hitters in the first few rounds of my draft. My smart half says keep the hitters, but my more adventurous half loves the thought of Harvey on my squad for years to come. I know you are a hitter over pitcher guy, but are there any grounds to keep a moderately healthy Harvey?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I wouldn’t keep Harvey there

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      BTW, Harvey’s having Tommy John surgery, he’s gone for 15 months…

      • Johan Barleycorn says:
        (link)

        Well that settles that up nicely. Well done, Grey.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          No problem

      • TheNewGuy says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Yeah rough news, big miss for baseball next year, not to mention the Mutts.

  22. TheNewGuy says:
    (link)

    Listening to Scullys commentary, pretty hillarious.

    “Grankie on the mound”

    “Fielded by Ugglier” (swear he said that)

    Vintage Scull

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ugglier? Who’s that?

      • TheNewGuy says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Umm Uggla? He’s playing isnt he.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          He’s not even on the playoff roster…

          • TheNewGuy says:
            (link)

            @Grey: Haha wtf…never knew that.

            Sculls certainly said him, poor guy, maybe its best for all he retires lol.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              He’s a national treasure!

              • TheNewGuy says:
                (link)

                @Grey: Treasure but maybe getting a bit rusty over the years lol and in need of a good polish.

              • TheNewGuy says:
                (link)

                @Grey: Do love the guy though, especially how he says exactly the same thing in the intro of every ball game, and how he’s the only guy that could ever commentate soley by himself.

                Cant beat some of the phrases he comes out with either.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  It’s remarkable how he’s able to announce every game by himself…

                  • TheNewGuy says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: It is pretty incredible. He almost lulls me into a trance when I listen to him, strangely relaxing to listen to. You get lost in his stories and actually forget about the game at hand.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Imagine living with him…

  23. slew says:
    (link)

    Zorbist also shares a twitter account with his wife. Poor guy.

    • slew says:
      (link)

      @slew: unless you and the Cougar are into that sort of thing…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Cougs and I don’t even share bathrooms, you feel me?

  24. OaktownSteve says:
    (link)

    I suggest y’all tune in the a’s. judging by what I’m seeing its Gina be s**thouse

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha… I’m guessing some autocorrectness and some beers in that comment…

      • OaktownSteve says:
        (link)

        @Grey:

        Found art Albright. Stuck in the beer line. That K right there brought some life

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Art Howe?

  25. The guru says:
    (link)

    You like Aaron Hill going into next year? A bit of a sleeper maybe?

    Being injured half the year but pretty good the rest of the way

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I don’t mind him, not sure if he’ll be that much of a sleeper… He wasn’t bad, he was just hurt

  26. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    for my money ,
    i’d rather have moss at 1st
    barton on the bench
    and seth smith at dh
    vs these tiger righties .

  27. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    @ Grey :

    did OakSteve tell you where he’s sitting ?

      • costaricanchata says:
        (link)

        @OaktownSteve:

        field level … nice !
        is row 27 in the lower or upper part of 112 ?
        wearing anything distinctive ??

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Better be wearing a SAGNOF T-shirt…

          • costaricanchata says:
            (link)

            @Grey:

            if he was wearing a superman shirt ,
            he’d stand out in that crowd .

      • costaricanchata says:
        (link)

        @OaktownSteve:

        i’d rather see smith in the line-up … over barton

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Not a great start for the A’s…

  28. J-FOH says:
    (link)

    Damn just did my first web cast with the Guru. Not the best idea when you’re hopped up on the good cough medicine and some tea with tequila

    • costaricanchata says:
      (link)

      @J-FOH:

      sounds like a vape combo

      • Grey

        Grey says:
        (link)

        Ha, nice

  29. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    lowrie … you sucker .

  30. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    lackey …. appropriately named .

    here we go .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yup

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Hope so, at least… Let’s go Rays!

  31. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    watching the game by myself ?

    • costaricanchata says:
      (link)

      @costaricanchata:

      hey Grey !

      kiwi should be back soon . eh ?

      • Grey

        Grey says:
        (link)

        I think so… Maybe tomorrow… Maybe that’s today…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I’m watching…

  32. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    gonna keep watching behind and just to the left of the visitors’
    dugout … in case OakSteve decides to do something memorable .
    27th row .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      You see him?

      • costaricanchata says:
        (link)

        @Grey:

        not last night ,
        but will keep looking .
        hoping he took my cue
        and went out and got him a superman shirt .

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Hehe, nice

  33. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    man , oh man .
    when are they going to drill that fraud ,
    big papi , in the ribs ?

    • costaricanchata says:
      (link)

      @costaricanchata:

      just because mlb hasn’t tested him in two years ,
      doesn’t mean that he’s untouchable .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      How did you become an A’s fan? Didn’t you used to live in New England?

      • costaricanchata says:
        (link)

        @Grey:

        as a young child , in new hampshire ,
        adopted an anti-family stance and rooted for the yankees .
        then , in winter of 59 , yanks made that awful trade with
        kansas city … so my allegiances migrated .
        listened to the games at night on my old
        flip-top zenith radio , when i was supposed to be sleeping .
        family was cool , though .
        our annual trips to fenway were always
        when kansas city came to town …. and then oakland .

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Ah… Cool…

  34. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    dang .
    told you they should have drilled ortiz .

  35. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    c.b. buckner might be one of the worst umpires in the majors ,
    and the home-plate ump last night was even worse .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      He’s so awful…

  36. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    cabrera ….. gassed , by sonny gray .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yup

  37. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    1st team to break the ice probably wins .
    nail-biter .

  38. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    an A ‘s fan in the crowd with a cowbell and a drumstick .
    if he was sitting near me , i’d tell him where to put that drumstick .

    “earth to OakTown Steve .
    earth to OakTown Steve” ….. go speak to that boy .

  39. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    just saw OakTown in the stands .
    he’s wearing a jack cust jersey .

    • costaricanchata says:
      (link)

      @costaricanchata:

      that’s what i’m saying .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Nah, that was Jack Cust, waiting for the call…

  40. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    great double play !!
    after battling back from 3-0 vs jackson
    with that little weasel iglesias running like the wind .

  41. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    bah !
    reddick .
    you call that a bunt ?
    i blame Steve .
    the kiwi kind .

    • costaricanchata says:
      (link)

      @costaricanchata:

      (prolly still on his roster)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Hehe

  42. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    @ Grey :

    did you see that strike-em-out / throw-em-out ?
    couldn’t have come at a better time .

  43. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    one time , yo .

  44. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    reddick .. redemption .
    miggy scrapes right hand on moss’ cleats .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Pitcher’s duel up in here…

  45. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    “ode to 8 innings”

    very difficult to see
    but easy to say
    Sonny Gray’s moustache
    is better than Grey’s .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      How dare you!

      • J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @Grey: them some fighting words

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          I know, right?

          • J-FOH says:
            (link)

            @Grey: he better blame it on his central american alcohol

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              He ate the worm…

              • J-FOH says:
                (link)

                @Grey: down there it’s probably some crazy 3 foot spider or scorpion

  46. J-FOH says:
    (link)

    AL AL IN THE HIZZZZAL!

    I always wanted to write that

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Al Al is far from a sure thing, this could be trouble for the Tigers

      • J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @Grey: low slider is filthy…like costaricanchata’s mouth …..you better watch your mouth…mister….ala Paul Gleason

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Ha… Then send him to Africa in a gorilla suit…

          • J-FOH says:
            (link)

            @Grey: better get Al Fraken drunk

  47. steve b says:
    (link)

    grey you are so f-ing funny .I keep thinking your gonna LET IT GO TO YOUR HEAD LIKE M berry.But you stay humble and are the greatest..I wanna have your baby

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha! Thanks, man!

  48. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    my head hurts .
    coco crips should have bunted from the left side .

  49. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    seth smith .
    you knew it all along .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeth!

  50. J-FOH says:
    (link)

    I told everyone Porcello sucks

  51. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    finally .
    what a great game .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Yeah, totally… Hope too many people didn’t see Gray…

  52. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    hope , for OakTown’s sake ,
    that bart is still running .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha

  53. Kid A says:
    (link)

    Running around like they won the series. Love it.

    • J-FOH says:
      (link)

      @Kid A: good game

      see I threw you a shout out in yesterdays column?

      • Kid A says:
        (link)

        @J-FOH:

        Indeed you did. Te lo agradezco. Now if we can just get the asses in gear in our league we could have something worthwhile to chuckle about. Sad showing for the both of us so far.

        When do you head up North for your Hater S. Jackson “Beer and Loafing” piece?

        • J-FOH says:
          (link)

          @Kid A: IDP is one hell of a wildcard. I’ll light an extra candle for you on Sunday morning.

          Glad your A’s won, got tired of watching the umps jerk you guys over

          two weeks from yesterday

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Pumped up!

  54. costaricanchata says:
    (link)

    hey Grey :

    realize it’s early for you , but ,
    the game in picks-burg IS only 7 hours away .
    assume that you’re still rooting for the new clementes .
    any thoughts about the crowd chanting
    “kel – ly , kel – ly”
    tonight , in an attempt to rattle the kid ,
    like they did for cueto ?
    (i love that shizz … sounds eerie .
    much better than that braves chant) .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Prolly, but not as fun as them chanting…Shellllll-Beeeeeeee

  55. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    Now the question is… are you gonna take his name or his he gonna take yours…either way works out pretty nice…Grey Gray and Sonny Albright…

    • J-FOH says:
      (link)

      @Wake Up: I like Grey Gray Albright…or GG Albright for short

      • Wake Up says:
        (link)

        @J-FOH: Hahaha…I like GG!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I like Grey Gray better, but there’s a chance we just hyphen it up…. Sonny-Grey-Gray-Albright

      • Wake Up says:
        (link)

        @Grey: You could name your first kid Freezer Burn…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          I can’t, have an uncle named Freeze Burn, too similar…

          • Wake Up says:
            (link)

            @Grey: Is that the same one you were telling me about that works in Corporate Ethics and drinks Black Russians?

            • J-FOH says:
              (link)

              @Wake Up: HAHAHAHA

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Ha! Yeah, they call him HR Puffenstuff…He works in HR and only hires chubby chasers…

              • J-FOH says:
                (link)

                @Grey: I need a job and love my thick ladies

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Uncle Freeze Burn is your own personal LinkedIn

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: I prefer bilingual ones that can cook

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Are you making a play hoping this is my maid, Consuela, reading this comment?

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: cover blown…back to drawing board…..I have a script for Mr. Damon to read

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Hola, JFoH! Send the script along with some vape and Señor Damon will read.

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: OK….Hey wait a minute, Consuela doesn’t vape. Grey stop impersonating your maid. If you want E-Juice just ask

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      I have no idea what you mean? How do I know Consuela isn’t living with you, commenting under your name?

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: I live outside of her “cleaning” area unless she has been using your razzball e-mail account, then I have no comment, about the person I may or may not have had a rendezvous with and may or may not have given a foot massage too.

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      I’d love to be a fly on the wall when she explains her boy problems to Naomi Watts…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: are you saying consuela gets around?……I’m hurt

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      She’s torn between you and her husband…That’s not around, that’s a conversation for her and Naomi…

                  • J-FOH says:
                    (link)

                    @Grey: that does explain the tan line on the ring finger

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      That’s not a tan… My place is filthy…

          • J-FOH says:
            (link)

            @Grey: what about your Jewish roots, Grey “Brisket” Albright Jr.

  56. SteveNZ says:
    (link)

    Bula.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      STEVE! Welcome back, man…. So, how was it?

      • SteveNZ says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Awwww, it was terrific. 80-85 and sunny every day, lots of time poolside, ordering beer, reading, relaxing.

        So good.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          I want to do that in about a month… What was the food like? Any Scuba’ing? Snorkeling?

          • SteveNZ says:
            (link)

            @Grey: Food on the whole was nothing to get too excited about. Which is pretty standard as far as the Fiji resorts go – nothing that is better than home and pretty expensive. Though we did find a good noodle place at one of the other hotels and I did have a pretty good hanger steak at the restaurant at our hotel one night.

            We did a day trip to an island where you could snorkel right off the beach and see plenty of fish, though I wouldn’t describe it as spectacular, but plenty good enough when you have kids with you.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
              (link)

              Very cool…I’m pretty jealous… I need some quality resort time — stat!

              • SteveNZ says:
                (link)

                @Grey: One neat thing we did (with some friends that were there at the same time) was start at the hotel at one end of the beach and take a swim in every pool at all 7 hotels in the area (which technically for 4 of them, you’re not supposed to do).

                I felt a bit like Burt Lancaster in The Swimmer, though in my case the journey ended with some grilled tuna and a glass of wine, rather than an emotional breakdown.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
                  (link)

                  Haha… Nice… Did they have water slides and whatnot?

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Chego is amazing… Can’t go wrong with anything, it’s also Choi’s own restaurant…I wasn’t impressed by A-Frame… Had about 5 dishes (table sharing) and I liked maybe 2… Tofu House is interesting once in a while, but it’s not a place I ever crave… Don’t know the others, but might try a few, thanks for sharing!

  57. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    Byrd and Morneau was a real nice under the radar move that didn’t really matter for fantasy…

    Morneau got a nice Lemmy thing going on…just missed a double down the line…

    Here’s to the Pirates stealing the ‘ship!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      It’s time for them to turn it on…With Kelly starting today, they have to win…

      • Wake Up says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Looking good so far…now they just have to realize that they don’t need to pitch to Beltran…this is weird…I haven’t rooted for a team in years!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Nice win for them, they needed to win there…

  58. Wake Up says:
    (link)

    Salvador Perez just received his sympathy card from Jose Tabata…turns out she was also Tabata’s sister-in-law…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      HA!

  59. J-FOH says:
    (link)

    Lets go DOYERS!

    • J-FOH says:
      (link)

      @J-FOH: C A R L C R A W F O R D CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Grey

        Grey says:
        (link)

        Nice…

        • J-FOH says:
          (link)

          @Grey: damn Ryu…no ham for you

          • Grey

            Grey says:
            (link)

            They’re still in the driver’s seat…

            • J-FOH says:
              (link)

              @Grey: It’s only the 4th and we have 10 runs

              Truth: I’ve cum twice and haven’t touched myself once

              • costaricanchata says:
                (link)

                @J-FOH:

                still sounds like you should go wash your hands .

              • Grey

                Grey says:
                (link)

                HA! Wow…

                • J-FOH says:
                  (link)

                  @Grey: I blacked out for a few seconds in the 4th inning….I needed to wash my chin, thought it was phlem from my cold….thats not phlem!

                  • Grey

                    Grey says:
                    (link)

                    Hehe… Love that they’re doing the tomahawk chop in LA…

                    • J-FOH says:
                      (link)

                      @Grey: I thought they were pointing to the airport

                    • Grey

                      Grey says:
                      (link)

                      Hehe

Comments are closed.