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The top 10 and top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball are in the bag, along with the top 20 catchers and your receipt for a $30 massage valued at $50.  Thanks, Groupon!  Today, Razzhands, we look at the top 20 1st basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball.  All this shizz can be found under the 2012 fantasy baseball rankings.  Don’t believe me?  Click the link.  This top 20 list of 1st basemen is bursting at the seams like you at a Hometown Buffet.  Speaking of gorging yourself, I’d like a top 1st baseman on my team in 2012, but it’s a little different year than last year.  There’s actually only 5 top first basemen then caveats on number 6 (Te(i)x) through 9, then there’s some interesting flyers a bit later.  I have a feeling 2013′s rankings are going to see major shifts with some guys that are lower on this ranking sheet moving up.  Should be a fun year for first basemen and one where you can take a bit more risk than previous years.  This list will get additional 1st basemen added to it in the way of sleeper posts.  As with the other rankings, the first basemen are broken up into tiers with my projections included.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 1st basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball:

1. Miguel Cabrera – See top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball for Miguel Cabrera’s projections.

2. Albert Pujols – See top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball for Albert Pujols’s projections.

3. Joey Votto – See top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball for Joey Votto’s projections.

4. Adrian Gonzalez – See top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball for Adrian Gonzalez’s projections.

5. Prince Fielder – See top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball for Prince Fielder’s projections.

6. Mark Teixeira – See top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball for Mark Teixeira’s projections.  This is actually a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Michael Young.  I call this tier, “Caterpillars.  Tier name will be explained in the Young blurb.  Feel free to read Young’s blurb then return here.  Hey, back already?!  Awesome!  I missed you.  Do you enjoy cuddling?”

7. Paul Konerko – He’s been wildly consistent.  In 2008 when he hit only 22 homers, it looks like the anomaly.  If I were to say 2012 is the year he gets old and it all falls apart, I’d just be guessing.  Last year he hit hardly any doubles, more line drives and singles, but he’s also getting smarter cutting his K-rate and increasing his walk rate.  The biggest hurdle Konerko is going to have this year is keeping his will to play as the team folds on Opening Day.  Maybe Hawk can work in some of his positivism in the negativity.  “This is the fastest a team has ever been out of contention!  You can put it on the board… We gone!”  2012 Projections:  85/29/100/.290

8. Lance Berkman – Let’s see if you can pick out the number that doesn’t belong, these are his homer totals from 2009 to 2011 — 25, 14, 31.  If you said 14, you’re a believer.  Feel free to draft Berkman.  If you said 31, you’re in my camp.  We will not be drafting Berkman.  If you said 27, that wasn’t a choice.  Berkman didn’t necessarily have an odd year for homers per fly balls.  He made solid contact, reducing his ground balls, but he’s 36 years old and missing Pujols.  That’s enough for me to avoid.  2012 Projections:  80/24/95/.275/3

9. Michael Young – This tier is filled with some older shorties, huh?  Go, shorty, it’s your 35th birthday; we gonna party like it’s your 35th birthday!  As I kinda said in the opening paragraph, the 1st basemen in 2012 are about to go caterpillar up in here and morph into a butterfly, but with that butterfly emerging from its cocoon Don Ameche-style, it needs to shed its caterpillar skin (can you tell I did well in my college science courses?).  This tier is gonna leave behind some caterpillar skin that will be released into the garden and turn into a new plant and/or Eric Hosmer.  (Again, not a science major.)  To explain all of this without the confusing metaphor, guys in this tier are getting old and will make way for guys in the next tier for next year.  As for Young, I don’t like him because he only gives average, and, while that’s been consistently solid in his career, he still got lucky last year and he’s due to hit a lot closer to .300 than .340.  Projections:  75/15/90/.310/5

10. Carlos Santana – Here comes the fun!  Can you feel the excitement?  It’s like that time we got together and did the crab circle dance in the pool in Cabo San Lucas and all our roommates were there except Zach and Ashley — but who needs them anyway?!  This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Butler.  I call this tier, “The crab circle in Cabo San Lucas.”  Is that too specific a reference?  You guys and three girl readers get it.  See the top 20 catchers for 2012 fantasy baseball to see Carlos Santana’s projections.

11. Eric Hosmer – I’m ignoring sophomore jinxes like I ignored when my whole sophomore class saw me get depantsed and I had on dirty tightie-whities.  I continue to stress that they were once all brown underwear that got bleached.  Hosmer is going to be special, and even if it’s not this year, he’s going to hold trade value through the season unless his bottom really falls out, which I don’t envision happening.  His commitment to stealing around ten bases will keep him from totally flopping.  He will be Joey Votto-lite this year.  How lite is the only question.  I don’t think it’ll be that lite.  BTW, you know who’s Billy Butler-lite?  Kirstie Alley.  2012 Projections:  85/25/95/.280/10

12. Michael Morse – I think Morse just had his best season, but I also don’t think he’s gonna fall like, say, Ryan Ludwick of a few years ago, to mention a player that was old for a prospect, broke out then went back to obscurity.  Speaking of which, when you get robbed in a parking garage and the security guard tells the police they didn’t hear anything, you tell them they’re more like obscurity!  Store it away for when it’s applicable.  Morse had the trappings* of a breakout but his health always got in the way.  I’m excited to watch the Nats this year and Morse should be smack dab in the middle of it.  *I have no idea if I used trappings right but it sounded pretty cool the way I just threw it out there, right?  2012 Projections:  80/27/90/.275/3

13. Michael Cuddyer – Gets away from Hubert H. Homerfree Dome and goes to Coors.  Boom goes the dynamite!  Or does it?  Cuddyer just had a solid season, and terrific when compared to the team around him.  Jack Wilson would’ve looked good in that Minnesota mucky muck last year.  Cuddyer hits a ton of ground balls and he’s not a huge homer threat.  I’d say if he repeats his 2011, it’s a win for him and his fantasy owners, especially since he has 2nd base eligibility in some leagues (17 games).  Check your rules first before you draft him for 2nd, then think about how you’re checking rules for fantasy baseball.  And you wonder why you have no success with the ladies.  2012 Projections:  75/22/85/.275/5

14. Mark Reynolds – His K-rate is kinda comical.  He’s a terrible real baseball player.  But real baseball is for real athletes.  What kind of crap is that?!  Give me a computer, an ergonomic chair and some Doritos, I’m playing fantasy baseball!  As long as Mini Donkey continues to hit 35 homers and steal 7-10 bases, he has solid fantasy value, just don’t draft Krispie Young, Adam Dunn or any other low average guys with him.  Actually, don’t draft Adam Dunn at all.  2012 Projections:  75/35/90/.230/7

15. Adam Lind – The reason why I still go back to Lind no matter how many times he kicks my metaphorical puppy is because he’s capable of 35+ homers.  Also, he got a bad rap in 2010 for being a guy that comes with a poor average, but he’s not that, y’all!  He’s around a .260 guy with neutral luck.  That’s a’ight, and a’ight is better than just a’ight but not quite a’ight a’ight.  Want a silly prediction that has no basis in science or fact?  Lind’s gonna be a top three finisher in 2012 for MVP.  2012 Projections:  90/32/105/.270 (<–crazy optimistic, but whatevs)

15 1/2. Billy Butler – I gave Butler a half ranking because he only has 11 games at 1st base.  In Yahoo leagues, you can place The Moob Man at 1st.  I’d use two hands so one moob doesn’t feel neglected.  Yes, Butler’s in the exciting tier, but I worry that Butler will only get 17 or less homers with a bad case of blimpotence.  But II, The Return of But, at 26 years old I think we can trust he’ll hover closer to 20 ding dongs.  Butler, “Did someone say ding dongs?!”  2012 Projections:  90/20/100/.300

16. Ryan Howard – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until the end of the list.  I call this tier, “Some major question marks, but a chance for nice dividends.”  Howard will move in the rankings at some point in the preseason when we know exactly when he’s gonna return.  If he’s back by the end of April, he hits 25-30 homers and is worth stashing.  If he’s not due back until midseason, I wouldn’t even bother drafting him and would drop him off this list completely.  I don’t believe in DL’ing players for months in redraft leagues.  For example, think about how many years you drafted Brandon Webb waiting for him to return from injury.  Yeah, that worked out well.  2012 Projections:  70/28/100/.260 (returning on May 1st)

17. Mike Napoli – See the top 20 catchers for 2012 fantasy baseball to see Mike Napoli’s projections.

18. Ike Davis – Last year, Ike took so many hits on the DL; somewhere Tina Turner was smiling.  Davis says his ankle will be good to go for Spring Training.  I say, just keep him away from the Mets doctors.  From this tier, I’d say Davis has the biggest chance to shoot up the rankings for next year.  Or he could have one setback and miss another three months.  2012 Projections:  85/22/90/.280

19. Mark Trumbo – When I went over Albert Pujols’s signing, I also covered Trumbo’s question mark.  As long as Abreu, Double I and Kendrys are shooting the shizz and talking about the good old times, Trumbo’s either playing 3rd or in trouble of losing playing time.  3rd base would be great, but his defense might give Scioscia the gas face.  I really can’t see someone who gave Jeff Mathis 1360 plate appearances in 5 years playing Trumbo at third.  That’s a huge question mark.  If Trumbo can get 500 plate appearances, then I’d happily draft him. Remember a platoon player at catcher is doable for fantasy, but at 1st or even at corner you need stats.  Projections:  60/25/75/.260/7 (500 PAs)

20. Paul Goldschmidt – I already went over my Paul Goldschmidt fantasy.  I wrote it while rooting for Garfield from Parking Wars to boot a car.  2012 Projections:  75/27/85/.245/7

After the top 20 1st basemen, there’s a lot of names but these stand out:

Kendrys Morales – Might not be a bigger question mark on this entire list.  Ryan Howard could be out for a while, but if he returns, you should get decent production.  Kendrys might return and still be crizzap.  Or he might return and platoon with Abreu or Trumbo or Wells.  Or he might return and be valuable.  You got more variables than an episode of Mythbusters.  Boom!  I’m bigger on basic cable than Chumlee!  2012 Projections:  65/22/75/.290

Justin Morneau – This is one question mark that I’m not drafting anywhere.  This schmohawk can come to my house and make me a perfectly medium-rare steak with the most amazing compound butter and I won’t go near him because, after last year, his steak will probably give me an immediate heart attack.  2012 Projections:  60/17/75/.285

Gaby Sanchez – He (she?) can give you modest power and solid counting stats.  Plus, you can pretend you have a girl on your team.  You ask why he’s not ranked and I answer that he is.  He’s ranked just after Morneau.  Him and Morneau are a bit of a toss-up, but Morneau has an outside chance at bigger power numbers.  Gaby has a better chance of actually playing a full season.  2012 Projections:  65/20/85/.265/3

Freddie Freeman – I don’t look forward to drafting Freeman.  So much so, I won’t draft him.  So much so much so, I didn’t even rank him.  He’s not ranked.  He’s just blurbed here.  He’s too much James Loney for my taste.  He has a slightly off year on power and you’re gonna be lucky to get 17 homers.  Belch called and said burp.  2012 Projections:  60/19/75/.280/3

Yonder Alonso – I took all the prospect reports on Alonso and put through my supercomputer and out came, “Should develop into a 20+ homer hitter with a great eye.  Padres TV can save time by eliminating instant replay because he runs like he’s in slow mo.”  I liked Yonder a lot more when he was on the Reds with no starting job than on the Padres with a starting job.  It’s just so hard to get excited about a hitter’s upside in Petco.  2012 Projections:  55/16/70/.280

Justin Smoak – I’m letting someone else take the Smoak gamble this year.  Until he hits 25+ homers, I don’t want to mess with his .240-ish average.  Call me crazy.  You, “Crazy.”  2012 Projections:  55/18/65/.245

Carlos Pena – Looking for someone this year that can do what Adam Dunn did last year?  Look no further!  He signed with the Rays, but it doesn’t matter.  He is what he is everywhere he plays.  I will now slap myself hard across the face for saying a variation of “it is what it is.”  2012 Projections:  55/25/75/.210

Adam Dunn – Everyone seems to think Dunn is not, um, done.  Correction:  Everyone that did not own him last year.  I guess they want a piece of the frustration that others felt last year.  That’s like standing at the craps table and watching roll after roll where people lose and you’re like, “Now is the time to get in!”  No, it’s not.  There’s no reason why the table is going to turn for the better.  The big-bellied age quickly and poorly.  Don’t go near Dunn just because you lucked out not owning him last year.  And, if you did own him last year and want more, then you’re like Homer grabbing the donut no matter how many times the electrical current shocks him.  2012 Projections:  55/22/80/.220 (<–actually optimistic)

Anthony Rizzo – Because I couldn’t end the post on a sour note with Adam Dunn, here’s R to the izzo.  I already went over my Anthony Rizzo 2012 fantasy.  I wrote it while huffing.  It was also written before the trade to the Cubs, so the end about how I wanna take a chainsaw to Petco is irrelevant.  I don’t think we’ll see Rizzo until June at the earliest so in redraft leagues, I’d ignore him, but in keeper leagues I’d stash him.  He could hit 25 homers as soon as next year.  If he breaks camp with the Cubs, then it’s on like Steve Wiebe playing Donkey Kong.  2012 Projections:  30/10/45/.250/4 (in 300 ABs)

Brandon Belt – Okay, one more!  This is it though.  If Belt were guaranteed everyday playing time, I’d place him between Napoli and Davis.  Around 16 and a half.  Belt is capable of 25/10/.280, which would have him poised to be a top 5 1st baseman next year.  The problem is Bruce Bochy has a gigantic head, but a very small brain.  Hopefully he realizes Belt ties the entire Giants outfit together.  2012 Projections:  70/24/80/.280/10 (in 500 ABs)

  1. Steve says:
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    OK. I’m going to paraphrase right back to you.
    If you happen to come out of the first two rounds with, say, Longo and Stanton, rather that throw your Doritos to the floor and stomp off to your room, you’ll take someone from the crab-dancing tier later on and not have your season turn to ashes after the first two rounds of the draft?
    On a completely unrelated note, I’m right now watching the Australian Open tennis. Could there be a better lazy man’s lifestyle choice than to be the boyfriend of a professional women’s tennis player? The benefits are many and obvious.
    Sure, you wouldn’t be achieving much of anything on your own account, but really, who gives a f*** about that?

  2. Simply Fred

    simply fred says:
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    Color me a ‘Grey’s Boyfriend’. Wouldn’t achieve much of anything on my own account. :-)

  3. joet says:
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    Grey,

    Forget michael Cuddyer.

    I sure hope you did.

  4. VinWins

    VinWins says:
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    30 for the price of 20! Nice.

  5. dsg says:
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    1st base looks WEAK this year!!!

  6. Peter says:
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    12 team, 27 man roster (IF, 2xUtil, 8xBench)
    6×6 (ops, qs)
    $260 auction draft keeper league
    keep 6

    I plan on keeping:
    Adrian Gonzalez, 1B- $33
    Adam Jones, OF- $10
    C. Santana, C- $7
    Haren, SP- $18
    Kimbrel, RP- $10

    Last spot is between:
    Wright, 3B- $32
    Melky Cabrera, OF- $4
    J. Weeks, 2B- $4
    Garza, SP- $9

  7. Peter says:
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    @Peter:

    Who should I take in the last spot?

  8. Tony says:
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    Grey- A real question: Pawn stars or Storage wars?

    Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup.

  9. elwood blues says:
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    Would you rather.. keep Halladay at $45 in an NL Only Keeper League ($260 Salary) or trade him for Vogelsong $10 or Chapman $5.. and have more money for the auction.

    (We have to keep at least 7 players and I don’t have a lot of cheap options after NL-to-AL trades this off-season. I could end up keeping $31 Fielder and $18 Goldschmdt above)

    (I can always keep him and if things don’t work out, trade him at mid-season for much better prospects)

  10. Slap Daddy says:
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    I’ve got Hosmer and Lind as cheap keepers. Should I stick with them as 1B options or slurge on a top 5 option?

  11. yep, I said it says:
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    What about Bryan LaHair? Isn’t he likely to get some playing time this year? Optimistic projections?

  12. dingbat says:
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    Wow — 1st base seems shallower than catcher. I guess by next year we’ll know whether guys like Freeman/Goldschmidt/Belt/Davis have emerged as genuine stars.

  13. KeeblerMN says:
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    If I wanted to pretend I had a girl on my team I wouldn’t draft Gaby, I would draft one of the Renee’s…. hey, that sounds like an R&B group.

  14. Curt says:
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    Neftali Feliz or Gio Gonzalez????

  15. KeeblerMN says:
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    @Tony: Storage Wars all the way! Love that show!

  16. Tony says:
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    Ok so can someone take a stab at why the rangers will pay Yu Darvish over $100m but wouldnt up the ante to resign a guy thats proven to be pretty good in CJ Wilson and just let him get away to the angels? IDK that baffles me, paying 50m to have the rights to sign the guy? stupid!

  17. Tony says:
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    @KeeblerMN: ha i agree, i do have a sneaky suspicion with the growing popularity of the show that they might stage some of the finds? I mean com’n they’re really finding lockers with 15 vending machines that are worth $5K each? LOL

  18. Wake Up says:
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    Hosmer and his blurb, both nice!

    *Lind- no matter

    *Morneau- medium-rare

    3B in the 1st round
    OF
    SP
    1B
    sound about right for this year?

  19. Wake Up says:
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    @Slap Daddy: I like those 2
    @Curt: Gio
    @Tony: I was just asking myself the same thing…thankfully I haven’t answered me yet…

  20. Love that the rankings are back!! My thirst for comedy and insight has been quenched.
    I think of all the 1st baseman this year Morse has my attention. The Nats are on the rise (hard to believe I actually typed that)and IF they land the Soy Slugger Mike’s in a pretty nice situation(not shituation). I could actually see him become a better option than Berkman or even Konerko. Cheers!

  21. Tony says:
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    @Wake Up: ha about cj wilson or storage wars!?

  22. yep, I said it says:
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    Cajun Pawn Stars or Storage Wars Texas?

  23. Hawk says:
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    @ Wake Up

    I think that sounds pretty good in a redraft league. You could wind up something like:

    Longoria
    Stanton / CarGo
    Cliff Lee / Kershaw / Lincecum
    Konerko

    That’s definitely a workable start.

  24. mindicohn says:
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    Keepers are due in a few weeks…can choose 5 of these 7.
    cano $24
    Price $15
    Castro $10
    Kimbrel $8
    A.Gordon $7
    Moustakas $4
    J.Zimmerman $7

    10 team 5×5 roto $260 budget.
    Cano/Price seem obvious to me…
    Can’t decide on the other 3 though.

  25. Derek in Utah says:
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    I absolutely love how you’re ranking these guys in “halfs”, now.

    btw, if Trumbo could only get some p/t…

  26. OaktownSteve says:
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    Trumbo is hurt. His foot thingy not getting better. May not be ready at the bell and that’ll hurt his chances of getting reasonable ABs.

    Mark Reynolds hit .260 as a 1st baseman. I’ve heard he says he’s a lot more relaxed when he doesn’t have to play 3rd. If he hits .260 he is so ownable at 100 overall.

  27. Ben says:
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    You don’t see Miggy’s run producing chances taking a serious hit with V-Mart’s injury? They don’t have another excellent on-base hitter… next best is between Brennan Boesch and Jhonny Peralta. I’m taking Pujols first for that reason in part.

  28. Hawk says:
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    @Minidcohn

    I’d say Castro $10 and Kimbrel $8 are definites. Gordon and Zimmerman are tossups – would depend on how the rest of your league views OF vs. SP.

  29. Big Magoo says:
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    No Lucas Duda? Finally, a sleeper of mine you don’t like (not that that’s a good thing). Can’t wait for the pairings article. I was already thinking, if I had a mid-late pick in a twelve-team snake draft, and Votto and Longoria were still on the board, which pairing would you rather have – Votto and Lawrie/Sandoval or Longo and Hosmer/Morse? Good stuff as always.

  30. Captainpyper says:
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    “We Gone!” LOL (someone needs to punch Hawk Harrelson in the face)

    Hosmer is legit and will be making the caterpillar jump…screw it, I don’t know how to explain how its going to happen using the butterfly metaphor

  31. Wake Up says:
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    @Tony: CJ. I get that Yu are/is 6 years younger, so at the end of the deal he’ll be the same age CJ is now. But, to let him stay in their division?@Hawk: Hope you are not in my RCL…

  32. The Talented Mr. Dope Man says:
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    @Wake Up: @Tony: They actually just were talking about that with the rangers GM. He said he wouldn’t comment on CJ, but they think Darvish has “ACE” stuff, and is young and controllable.

    I took that as he didn’t think CJ actually had “ACE” stuff, more of a #2.

    The nice thing is the 51.7million that they have to pay to Darvish’s team, doesn’t count against the salary cap (for luxury tax reasons). CJ signed for 75 million for 5 years (i believe). They got Darvish for 6yrs at 60. So from a salary cap perspective, Darvish is the better deal.

  33. Racehorse says:
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    @ Grey

    Early this morning I pulled the trigger on a Mike Carp & Alex Presley for John Mayberry trade, only to see a blurp from last night saying the Phillies GM expects a Mayberry/Lance Nix blahtoon in LF. The same blurp said Wiggington spells Ryan Howard at 1B.

    Did I just blurp allover myself? … in a bad way?

  34. BigSeph says:
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    @ Grey-

    I think you’re a little low on Hosmer’s BA this year. He should be somewhere between .300 and .305 so you have him about .25 points lower on BA than what he should wind up at. He hit .293 last year, BABIP was .314, his career BABIP in the minors was around Posey’s and it looks like .310 is the floor in MLB for Hosmer. So you can’t put the guy at .280 after all his ABs at the MLB level.

    I also think you are underselling the Royals lineup this year, that is going to be a talented and improving top-7: Gordon, Giavotella, Butler, Hosmer, Moustakas, Francoeur, Perez. Wouldn’t surprise me to see Moose and Perez have great years at .280+, Moose is slow upon arriving at each level and then adjusts and takes off. He was killing it late last year.

    Royals were 10th in all of MLB in runs last year, how are you gonna give their cleanup guy 85 runs and 95 RBI if he hits close to .300?

    In the interest of full disclosure, I sleep with my Eric Hosmer baseball cards tucked under my pillow.

    • M.C. Antil says:
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      @BigSeph, He can talk about liking Royals hitters all he wants, he still doesn’t get at least two of them and speaks like someone who spends more time with numbers than watching games. You’re right about Hosmer. If you were a betting man and they were laying long odds on Hosmer winning this year’s MVP, you’d be wise to drop a c-note on him. He’s a once in a generation hitter. Hits the ball like a young Gary Sheffield, who didn’t just hit balls hard, he punished them. Hosmer’s not just good. He’s great. And while I’m still expecting some growing pains for people like Moustakas, Cain, Perez, Giovatella, etc., I really do expect Hosmer and Escobar to emerge as greats at their position this year (as well as Gordon to solidify his standing as the best LF in the A.L.) And that’s not just dreaming or wishful thinking. That’s coming from scouts who drool over their respective talents and expect greatness sooner rather than later for each. Good luck.

  35. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Steve: I love that idea. Only issue is female tennis players are lesbians. Yeah, I could see skipping the Tex tier unless they fall.

    @simply fred: Thanks!

    @joet: Ah…That guy has 1st base eligibility, doesn’t he? My bad.

    @Peter: Wright

    @Tony: Tough call… Storage Wars…

    @elwood blues: Chapman

    @Slap Daddy: Seems obvious by what I’ve written above.

    @yep, I said it: Eh

    @dingbat: Yup

    @KeeblerMN: Ha!

    @Curt: Gio

    @Wake Up: Yup

    @Dr. Stats: No problem.

    @yep, I said it: Ha..>Haven’t seen either yet.

    @mindicohn: Castro, Gordon, Moose…

    @Derek in Utah: Yup

    @Ben: Nope

    @Big Magoo: Votto/Lawrie

    @Captainpyper: Ha!

    @Racehorse: Doesn’t sound like a good trade.

    @BigSeph: How am I underselling when I’m actually liking every Royals hitter I’ve ranked so far?

  36. Tony says:
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    @Grey: storage wars or picker sisters? haha

    idk if you or anyone else has seen the picker sisters, but wow…. they hooked me without even watching the show.

  37. Big Magoo says:
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    @Grey: Yeah, I figured Votto/Lawrie would be the pick. Any thoughts on Duda as a late rounder? I like his 1B/CI/OF eligibility and think he has some upside. The fences moving in wouldn’t hurt either.

    No American Pickers love? I prefer that to pawn stars/ storage wars.

  38. Big Magoo says:
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    @Tony: I tried watching that for the eye candy factor, but found those chicks incredibly annoying. Maybe on mute…

  39. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Tony: Never heard of Picker Sisters, but sounds like something I need to check out. I like American Pickers too.

    @Big Magoo: I like American Pickers too. I rank Duda in another post.

  40. Big Magoo says:
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    @Grey: Ah the OF post. Cool. Keep him pretty low, ok? And Strasburg, too. You already outed Bumgarner and Wieters, and your love for Bruce, Lawrie, and certain others is well known. I need to have some of my target players available at a discount. If any of my money league opponents read this site, I’ll have to pay full blown retail. You’re like the pied piper man. People follow your lead to league titles.

  41. joet says:
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    Grey,

    Off the top of your head, where would you put Cuddyer?

    I’ve got him about even with Konerko – well ahead of Berkman.

  42. ThePoonTycoon says:
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    the return of ThePoonTycoon after an offseason of self-reflection.

    it’s only ~2 months from draft season, so i guess it’s time to get back on the wagon.

    keeper league, can keep players as long as we want, no complicated draft pick adjustments, just standard snake draft after the 5 keepers. i’ve been offered hosmer + a 7th round pick for teixeira. given the decade age difference and hosmer’s rookie season and ceiling, time to make the move before teixeira loses all trade value right?

    i’m also in a bit of a youth movement with this team, guys like holiday and aroid having run there keepability course and teixeira nearing his (thank you HRs/RBIs for salvaging the last 2 seasons for me). braun is my best keeper, but obviously i’m probably staring at him being out for 2 months, so this might be a rebuilding year anyway.

    this is the only owner that seems interested trading for teixeira.

  43. royce! says:
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    I read that the A’s are shopping Allen and the Rays are interested suitors. If he were to go to the Rays, would he make a good late flyer? Seems that leaving O.co would greatly increase his value, but since there are already 30 1B listed, maybe he’s not worth shizz?

  44. Wake Up says:
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    Didn’t want the edits?

    *Lind- no matter

    *Morneau- medium-rare

  45. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @royce!: Forgot they don’t have a 1B yet as Kotchman is unsigned. Yeah, would totally increase his value.

  46. seph meier says:
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    If that is adam lind’s ceiling, what is his floor?

  47. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @seph meier: What’s anyone’s floor? Could hit 12 homers and .220 and get hurt in May. He’s possible to hit 25-ish homers and .260.

  48. seph meier says:
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    So basically no worse than last season? Thanks grey!!

  49. Ed Nugent says:
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    Mr. Grey – would you trade Teix for DJenn in a vacuum?

  50. Eddie says:
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    Grey,

    16 team H2H Keeper question. One a 1 year contract only, exact same keeper cost, would you prefer Ryan Dempster, Julio Teheran, or neither and begin drafting a round earlier? My team, as it currently stands:

    Halladay (SP)
    Shields (SP)
    Gallardo (SP)
    D. Hudson (SP)
    M. Moore (SP)
    Votto (1B)
    Reyes (SS)
    C. Gonzalez (OF)

  51. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @seph meier: No problem.

    @Ed Nugent: Depends on other factors…

    @Eddie: Draft a round early. You have too much pitching as it is.

  52. crane game dispair says:
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    @Grey:

    Are you coo-coo for beachy again this year? I think i actually like him to be a top 30 SP this year. Thoughts?

  53. Ed Nugent says:
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    @ Grey – I’m in a league similar ThePoonTycoon: “keeper league, can keep players as long as we want, no complicated draft pick adjustments, just standard snake draft after the (10) keepers.”

    I also have Votto at 1B and could likely get at least one pick back in the deal.

  54. crane game dispair says:
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    and in a vacuum… could you rank beachy latos and darvish for me please?

    THANKS! btw i love the ranks this year they are lookin good.

  55. Random Collmenter says:
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    Get to keep 8 in a 12-team points league, and at least two have to be pitchers. Lose pick in round that keeper was drafted in.

    Def going to keep:
    Miggy (rd. 1)
    Prince (rd. 2)
    Beltre (rd. 12)
    Hosmer (rd. 21)
    Jennings (rd. 22)

    Need to pick 3 more from these:
    Hamels (rd. 3)
    Holliday (rd. 3) (if I kept Hamels and Holliday I’d lose my 3rd and 4th rd. picks)
    Brandon Philips (rd. 3)
    Posey (rd. 17)
    Latos (rd. 17)
    Scherzer (rd. 17)
    Matt Moore (rd. 22)
    Wainright (rd. 22)
    Montero (rd. 22)

    Leaning toward keeping Wainwright, Moore, and Hamels. Any thoughts? Thanks!

  56. Wake Up says:
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    Another nom de plume exposed…Carmona

  57. Steve says:
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    @Grey: Yeah – the selection process would need to be pretty thorough and you’d want to be a bit choosy..

    More of a casting, I suppose.

  58. Big Magoo says:
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    @Grey: One last question today: do you still rank Cabrera ahead of Pujols and Votto after VMart’s injury? I’m worried about Cabrera just being constantly pitched around considering he has no lineup protection, and it’s not like he can make you pay by stealing second if you give him a free pass.

  59. Ed Nugent says:
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    @Grey – thanks as always!

  60. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Big Magoo: Sorry, meant I do still rank him above. Nope, I’m not changing anything yet.

  61. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:
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    Wow, I don’t even have to see it happening… just reading “the crab circle dance” gives me douche chills.

    Say, that reminds me… I remembered one other thing I like about Philly: it’s the one city where the Real World cast members were hit with so much venom by the locals that it couldn’t be edited out of regular footage. “How come everyone who drives by has to call us a$$holes?” Now that’s a town I can respect.

  62. Big Magoo says:
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    @Grey: Would you drop him a spot or two if Detroit didn’t sign someone like Pena? Or keep him first overall (I have him behind Kemp and Pujols – I think they’re floors are higher at this point)?

  63. Random Collmenter says:
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    thanks for the advice. so u think i should keep montero (jesus, that is) even though he’s competing at catcher with olivo and jaso and might not get eligibility? and i don’t have an open Utility spot for him because Hosmer has to go there (since Miggy is my 1B and Prince is my CI).

    thanks!

  64. Steve says:
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    @Grey: The good news is that even 20th on the prizemoney list for last year earned almost a million bucks.

    Do a Google image search for Maria Kirilenko.

  65. Eddie says:
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    @Grey: Thank you sir, I was leaning in that direction. Just FYI, our league uses highly customized rules that favor pitchers over hitters, especially SP. For example, each out recorded is worth .5 points.

  66. Big Magoo says:
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    @Big Magoo: *their floors – fatigue is causing my grammar to slip

  67. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Awesomus Maximus: Honestly, I think you’re the only one that gets that reference. Love that about Philly too. Also, I think if they get the right section of Jersey, they could get the same reactions.

    @Big Magoo: If they don’t sign someone, then a drop is possible.

    @Random Collmenter: Then go with Posey.

    @Steve: Hey now!

    @Eddie: No problem. You still have enough pitching.

  68. The Talented Mr. Dope Man says:
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    @Wake Up: It’s unbelievable to me that all of these players lie about their name and ages… you would think that MLB would go through and verify each and every single “foreign” player.

    It’s bad for the game, and horrible for the teams involved. The indians have invested A LOT of money in Carmona, now they find out he’s 4 years older than they thought….

    Unbelievable. I would sue him if i were them. I’m sure he has a nice little stack set aside. NOT!!! (Borat voice).

  69. TheNewGuy says:
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    Good stuff as always Grey, never afraid to go out on a limb which I like.

    Kendry Morales…I have been planning on keeping him for next year (for just $9) but the recent signing of that pretty good player has me in doubt now. I like you can’t see the Sochiapath (sp) playing Trumbo at 3rd, and Abreu will likely be the odd on out in the OF…that leaves them 2 PLUS Kendry to compete for ABs at DH. So due to the lack of upcoming ABs surely he’s not worth keeping? Shame cos I had him down as a possible bargain this year…

    Oh and it’s a league where we can keep up to 8 players, so I don’t need to keep anyone in place of Kendry.

  70. The Talented Mr. Dope Man says:
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    @Grey: rank these players taking the salary into consideration (if you don’t mind sir), 12 tm AL only 5×5. Your help is greatly appreciated as always.

    Napoli $14
    Adam Jones $28
    Jarrod Parker $5
    Reynolds $26

  71. papasmurf says:
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    I don’t like hitters who have bad K:BB ratios. Maybe it’s cuz my league counts OBP but generally if these guys’ batted balls don’t drop in, he’s in for a rough year. So Lind’s not one of my favs. I went against my own rule last year and drafted Aaron Hill…

    I happened to catch a ranking list on another site which had Napoli ranked 17th! Guess he must be Sciopath’s bizarro twin.

    It’s so strange nowadays without roids (supposedly) how quickly once very good players just drop off the map. Dunn, Morneau, etc.

    And lastly, if Hosmer was eligible for POTUS, I’d vote for him!

  72. Jay29 says:
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    @Grey: Roberto Heredia should just legally change his name to the superior Fausto Carmona.

  73. Nick says:
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    In a H2H Dynasty League (5×5 plus OBP/SLG, Holds, and K/BB), and have the opportunity to marginally upgrade at 1B based on your rankings. Other guy has offered me Joey Votto/Colby Rasmus for Adrian Gonzalez/Hunter Pence. Makes my team younger while upgrading (however marginally it may be). Think I should pull the trigger?

  74. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Nick: Hold

    @Steve: Nothing gets by you Kiwis.

  75. It’s funny because Butler has breasts. Who doesn’t like that?

    But seriously, are you drafting guys from that Santana -> Butler tier, at the right price? I’m sorry, I don’t get it. Is it a “Saved by the Bell” reference?

    I am so fucking confused.

  76. royce! says:
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    @Grey: Ha! That robot is not too happy about what he’s reading! Sad, literate robot…

    Re: Allen- that’s what I was thinking- if they landed Allen they could opt to not resign Kotchman, which would be a classic Rays cheap dudes move. I would like that.

  77. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Fman99: I’m drafting them for the right price, yup.

    @royce!: I’d like that too.

  78. Awesomus Maximus

    Awesomus Maximus says:
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    @Grey: Oh, absolutely… and I think a Real World: Bayonne is well overdue.

  79. Mike D. says:
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    @Grey: The Lawrie b-day thing was a red herring, sez me. Right?

  80. royce! says:
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    @Grey: Happy belated (and hopefully, libated) birthday! I’m still not quite recovered from my birthday shenanigans last weekend. Hopefully you’re not in the same boat, recovery wise, but in the same boat, shenanigans wise. Did you do anything worth repeating?

  81. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @royce!: Thanks! Since it was a Wednesday, I didn’t go hard. I went to a nice dinner and an art gallery show thing where I met James Franco’s grandmother (wow, I sound old). I’m going hard tomorrow night. Wish me luck!

  82. Happy birthday! I bought you some mustache wax as a gift but then I used it for, uh, recreational self-use.

  83. The Talented Mr. Dope Man says:
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    @Grey: The all mighty, all wise grey… please grant me with your advice…

    Which trade do you take…

    Trade #1
    I give:
    Bailey for $16 (keep for this year and next)

    I get:
    Hosmer for $5 (can keep for 5 years)

    Trade #2
    I give:
    Bailey for $16 (keep this year and next), arencibia for $2 (keep 4 years) and Sean Rodriguez at $6 (4 years)

    I get:
    Price $11 (keep for this year), Pedroia $21 (keep for this year), jarrod Parker $4 (3 years).

  84. The Talented Mr. Dope Man says:
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    @Grey: hahaha i was afraid you were going to say that…

    real rough decision for me. I hate “just playing for this year”. like to have that “dynasty” setup…

    i appreciate it man.

  85. Steve Stevenson says:
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    OBP league, keep 2 with a 2-rd penalty per year: Santana 8th rd, Beltre 8th, Hosmer 10th, Lawrie 10th? (if it’s 2 guys in same rd, you lose the previous as well)

  86. STEVE B says:
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    @BIGSEPH
    WHY SO HIGH ON giadickvitale…..hASNT proved anything yet and he looks pretty ordinary to me

  87. Po says:
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    Would you keep Yonder in the 20th or Davis in the 18th losing the pick this year for it?

  88. Andy says:
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    Here’s my problem with Lind and to a lesser extent Hosmer, hitting lefties. Neither has proven capable of handling southpaws. Lind had great minor league stats but one career year, a few hot months last season and very little else.

    At least Hosmer has youth on his side but a sophomore slump is certainly in the cards. Butler and Gordon haven’t proven all that much in the power department so this lineup could flop.

  89. whapwhamp says:
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    do you think that morse is trustworthy enough to be a full time 1st basmen. If he can be kept for a 9th rounder. Should a 1st basemen be addressed in first 3 rounds with morse in OF or can morse stay at first ad draft OF in first 3 rounds.

  90. paddyman says:
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    Adam Dunn Has lost weight, is seeing the ball well (2 dingers inc. a grand salami the other day) and may gain OF eligibility. Would you still avoid Grey? I’m a betting man and sometimes a gamble that pays off is more fun than going straight down the line.

    Also have 2 DL spots. How high now would you go for Howard? Utley?

    Cheers man. I draft tomorrow.

    Best of luck this year!

  91. Eric says:
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    Should i drop Gaby Sanchez for Carlos Pena? Or is the Miami offense going to take a little bit to get going

  92. Kangaroo hops says:
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    In a dynasty league, would you rather Stubbs & Sandoval or Wieters & Heyward? I have the latter, but I’m in need of 1B and considered sending this trade? Awful, or cuts the mustard?

    • Kangaroo hops says:
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      @Kangaroo hops, Whoa, how did I get here? This is posted in the wrong post!

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