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If I told you this post ends our position 2016 fantasy baseball rankings, would you believe me?  What if I told you it while holding your mom’s hand while calling you son, would you believe it more or less?  Man, you got issues!  So, yes, this is the end of our positional rankings, but I’ll be along tomorrow with a top 100 and then a top 500.  That’s right, 500!  Like a baller!  There’s also our Steamer projections for all hitters and pitchers.  All of the fantasy baseball auction values are also up for over 1500 players.  There’s a ton of different formats located there too, like the 5×5 OBP rankings, 6×6 OBP rankings, 6×6 Holds and a ton more.  All of my 2016 fantasy baseball rankings are there.  My tiers and projections are noted in this post.  Anyway, here’s the top 100 starters for 2016 fantasy baseball:

81. Tanner Roark – This tier started in the top 80 starters for 2016 fantasy baseball.  This tier ends here.  I called this tier, “Grey’s upside your head.”  The good, he has a 1-something walk rate in his career, throws 93 MPH and has a season in the books of 198 2/3 IP with a 2.85 ERA.  The bad, I’m ignoring the bad and focusing on the good, which could come back to haunt me.  2016 Projections:  10-7/3.61/1.27/124 in 180 IP

82. Edinson Volquez – This is a new tier.  This tier ends at Peavy.  I call this tier, “Oh, I’m so gonna own these guys…at some point in the season.”  By the tier name, I mean these guys are all going to be streamers or waiver wire pickups that I make at some point in the season, but I’m not drafting them.  I could see Edinson having a good start in April and me being, “Pick him up, guys and five girl readers!”  But Volquez, or anyone in this tier, are not the kind of guys I’d draft at the back of my rotation.  2016 Projections:  12-9/3.92/1.33/143 in 190 IP

83. Josh Tomlin – There’s actually a lot to be excited about for Tomlin.  Last year, his walk rate was 1.1 and the year before it was 1.2, so it’s not a fluke.  He is a control artist.  With that command, he could have a 5+ K/9 and be effective.  Well, the last two years he was way above that with a 8.1 and 7.8 K/9.  Unfortunately, Tomlin is old enough to star in the movie, Dirty Grandpa, has only 124 major league innings on his resume and throws 88 MPH.  I bet Tomlin has moments this year, but moments is a category of Hallmark cards, not a guy I draft.  2016 Projections:  8-5/3.69/1.09/86 in 110 IP

84. Taylor Jungmann – He gets a decent amount of ground balls that could make Miller Park work (he would’ve been 36th in the majors for ground balls if he qualified).  He had a 8+ K/9 and 3.5 BB/9, which isn’t elite, but, Jungmann, there’s no need to feel down.  I said, Jungmann!  You could shake out to be a fantasy 4th starter.  I said, Jungmann!  2016 Projections:  9-12/3.89/1.31/158 in 175 IP

85. Phil Hughes – I think the chance is there that Hughes bounces back to his 2014 elite self.  How much of a chance do I give it?  Well, let’s look at where I’ve ranked him.  There ya go!  2016 Projections:  13-10/3.91/1.28/141 in 190 IP

86. Andrew Cashner – You look at his 8+ K/9 and ballpark and it reminds you of CottonHi.  Cotton candy on top of yogurt.  How can you go wrong?!  Then you get a 4.34 ERA last year and an amount of sugar that a 12-year-old Japanese girl can’t even handle.  “I got a lousy pitcher and diabetes, thanks Cashner and CottonHi, respectively!”  2016 Projections:  8-12/3.89/1.32/145 in 170 IP

87. Rick Porcello – I bet Porcello has a year of a 3.50 ERA or lower one of these years.  For multiple years, Porcello has been getting unlucky.  I have to think one of these years that luck will change.  Of course, I’m not putting actual money down on him turning things around because there’s some reasoning behind his unluckiness.  Last year, he was the 7th highest for Hard Contact, which is death in Fenway, a park that is already high on the BABIP scale.  Wearing a shirt that reads, “I left my heart in Jeter’s bed,” is also death in Fenway.  Since Porcello only needs to throw six innings each game to get a win, due to the Red Sox insane bullpen, I might gamble on Porcello in some deeper leagues (AL-Only, 15-team and deeper mixed).  2016 Projections:  13-9/4.08/1.32/145 in 180 IP

88. J.A. Happ – Here’s what I said this offseason, “(Happ) signed with the Jays.  Here is a commencement address given by Ray Searage as another Pirate pitcher graduates from the School of Searage to go out in the real world, which is really the same world but on a different team.  “You are all very special to me.  I consider you all my sons, especially Edinson.  They say every time I cough and roll my eyes, another pitcher gets his wings and the ability to throw a 12-6 curve.  Okay, I might’ve just fell asleep during It’s A Wonderful Life and mashed what they said in the movie with my own subconscious thoughts.  Speaking of entertainment, I was thinking that it would make a great Odd Couple-type TV show to have me forced to be the pitching coach under Dusty Baker.  Any hoo!  As you can see I’m a better pitching coach than a commencement speaker, so, uh, hook ’em longhorns!”  And that’s me quoting Ray Searage!  2016 Projections:  10-8/4.08/1.35/156 in 190 IP

89. Brett Anderson – He’s not flashy, except on Halloween when he’s wearing a trenchcoat and hanging out with Chad Gaudin, but Anderson had the best ground ball rate in the majors last year.  That coupled with Dodger Stadium is about all you need.  Anderson’s ground ball rate and Dodger Stadium sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!  UPDATE:  Anderson’s out for months with back surgery, who knows when he’ll be…back!  Oh no, I dint!  (I did.)  2016 Projections:  11-8/3.49/1.32/100 in 150 IP

89. Jake Peavy – Okay, I’ll cop to drafting these guys in very deep leagues.  I don’t love any of them as their projections and blurbs attest, but in deep leagues it’s nice to be able to get a cheap 150+ IP.  Of course, Peavy’s prolly the worst starter in this tier to point that out on because he’s failed to get to 150 IP in three of the last five years.  Whatever, I don’t care!  Damn, I sound downright *pinkie to mouth* Peav-ish.  2016 Projections:  10-9/3.62/1.19/104 in 150 IP

90. Adam Conley – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Ray.  I call this tier, “Dot dot dot.”  This tier is filled with real sleepers.  Actual, honest-to-goodness sleepers, as in no one is talking about them.  Okay, maybe a few people, but we’re not talking about their friends and family here.  Real sleepers, like fo’really!  Wait, why is that guy unpacking his sad trombone.  Oh, God, what is he doing?  No, put that sad trombone away!  Ugh, fine, there’s no such thing as a real sleeper.  *sad trombone*  This tier is called “Dot dot dot” because all of these guys have major issues lurking in their resume.  If any of these guys were sleepers with broad appeal, they’d be discussed widely.  As for Conley, he’s shown mid-90s stuff in the minors, he’s a big lefty with no major platoon splits and threw 174 IP last year, so going deep into the season shouldn’t be an issue.  The issue:  we’re talking about a guy with a 6.00 ERA in 60 IP in Triple-A in 2014 and a 6.8 K/9 in 107 IP in Triple-A in 2015?  Oh.  Dot dot dot.  Kay.  Oh, and one more dot dot dot on Conley, he might not even be in the rotation due to Edwin Jackson.  2016 Projections:   7-10/3.90/1.36/127 in 170 IP

91. Trevor Bauer – Definitely post-hype sleeper here.  You used to hear so much about Bauer before he was called up in Arizona.  Now, almost four years later, you don’t hear much about him.  Last I heard was he was playing long toss in Cleveland with someone in Berlin, Germany.  He throws the ball over there, then his German friend, Munich Vonshitz, FedExs the ball back.  That sounds like a lonely, slow game of long toss, doesn’t it?  Maybe Spielberg will do a sequel to Bridge of Spies about Bauer’s game of long toss with his German friend.  Here’s the pitch (literally):  Bauer overshoots Vonshitz and accidentally throws the ball into North Korea and starts WWIII.   Bauer doesn’t need to do much to be a huge value grab this late; he needs to cut his walks by one full walk per nine.  Unfortch, that’s all he’s had to do for the last three years and we’re still saying he needs to do it.  At some point, all hope will be gone, as every Air Supply song says.  UPDATE:  Moved to the bullpen to start the year.  This makes sense.  If one guy can reach home from the bullpen, it’s Bauer.  2016 Projections:  6-5/3.42/1.24/125 in 130 IP

92. Kyle Gibson –  Okay, okay, I know this guy is just a straight shooting, fine mammy-jammy sleeper!  Dot dot dot.  If he didn’t have a 5.95 K/9 and 3.01 BB/9 in 425 career innings.  2016 Projections:  12-11/3.97/1.34/135 in 185 IP

93. Matt Wisler – Throws 94 MPH!  Was once a touted prospect!  Is only 23!  Dot dot dot.  He had a 4.71 ERA last year with the Braves in 109 IP.  There’s always the chance for a sophomore with good posture!  (Okay, what’s the opposite of slump then, smartie?)  2016 Projections:  7-12/4.06/1.35/123 in 180 IP

94. Danny Duffy –  I want to know right this instance why this guy has issues!  Dot dot dot.  He has a 4.55 xFIP in 443 1/3 IP in his career.  Damn, I didn’t want to know that fast.  2016 Projections:  9-10/4.08/1.37/111 in 150 IP

95. Jerad Eickhoff – He had a 2.65 ERA in 51 IP last year.  Don’t hassle the ‘hoff!  Dot dot dot.  And looked in the minors like he’d be lucky to be a fifth starter in the majors.  2016 Projections:  7-11/4.06/1.28/139 in 155 IP

96. Rubby de la Rosa – Right now, Rubby is the Diamondbacks 4th starter, but Josh Collmenter, Archie Bradley, Robbie and Rubby will all split time in the 4th and 5th rotation spots.  Forget lions and tigers and bears, oh my.  That’s Robbie and Rubby and Archie and Josh, oy vey!  Sounds like a Jewish Wizard of Oz song.  “Robbie and Rubby and Archie and Josh!  Oy vey!… Now at the Pantages Theater, The Wizard of Oy starring Richard Kind in all roles!” 2016 Projections:  8-10/4.21/1.33/121 in 150 IP

97. Robbie Ray – Dot dot dot…but there’s also Rubby and Archie and Josh.  Oy vey!  See Richard Kind’s memorable turn as This-Tin-Suit-Is-Hot-And-Turning-My-Skin-Green Man and the Scared-of-Spicy-Food-Due-To-An-Ulcer Man.  He’s oy vey with a vengeance!   2016 Projections:  7-6/3.88/1.28/99 in 110 IP

98. Anibal Sanchez – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Shoemaker.  I call this tier, “Have a rotation spot on lock.”  This tier is filled with guys that will be in their team’s rotation, which means all of these teams should trade for at least one more starter because these guys are hot garbage, and hot garbage is consulting with its attorney about filing a defamation suit against this tier.   As for Anibal, you know what is very reassuring if reassuring meant the opposite of reassuring?  When the last player news I can find on a guy is, “The Tigers found no structural damage on Anibal’s right shoulder.”   One other note on the Tigers, in general.  They’re delusional.  They went out and added Zimmermann and F-Rod like they only needed a few pieces.  Sho ya right.  2016 Projections:  8-9/4.12/1.31/127 in 150 IP

99. Chris Tillman – This tier could’ve also been called, “They’ve had good years before, they could have good ones again, they can be picked up off of waivers in most leagues, so chillax.”  Tillman had back-to-back seasons of 200+ IP and around a 3.50 ERA in those 400+ innings.  Of course, last year his ERA was 4.99 and Hayzeus Cristo that’s awful.  2016 Projections:  13-9/4.12/1.31/140 in 190 IP

100. Matt Moore – Jo-Fer returned from TJ and looked amazing!  Corbin returned from TJ and looked terrific!  Moore returned from TJ with syphilis.  2016 Projections:  8-12/4.16/1.32/131 in 150 IP

101. Derek Holland – At this point, I bet this guy wouldn’t mind splitting the difference between his 2013 ERA of 3.42 and last year’s 4.91, i.e., Holland would go dutch.  2016 Projections: 9-11/4.11/1.29/107 in 150 IP

102. Martin Perez –  Last year’s numbers could absolutely be an aberration due to returning from Tommy John, but they were such an abomination that I can’t rank his abysmal ass any higher.  The preceding sentence was brought you by the only words starting with ‘ab’ that I know.  Somewhere, an abalone is shaking its head abjectly.  2016 Projections:  7-11/4.22/1.38/119 in 175 IP

103. Marco Estrada – Baseball is a funny game.  Not haha funny, unless you find grown men scratching themselves in public funny.  A homer-prone Estrada went to likely the worst possible place for him last year, had arguably his worst year for peripherals (K/9 dropped by a full K from 2014 and his walk rate rose), his highest xFIP at 4.93 and walked away with a 3.13 ERA.   He did produce weak contact, which partially explains his .212 BABIP, but only partially.  2016 Projections:  9-12/4.09/1.22/128 in 175 IP

104. Matt Shoemaker – I loved The Cobbler coming out of 2014, then he had a 4.46 ERA in 2015.  *waving hand*  Pie-pie, Cobbler!  2016 Projections:  9-9/4.07/1.27/105 in 120 IP

105. Dylan Bundy – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Finnegan.  I call this tier, “What year is it again?”  This tier is filled with rookies that may not do anything until 2017.  Or 2018.  Or this April.  I’m not married to the projections for any of these guys, no matter what the NY Times announcement says.  One of these guys could surprise and be a top 40 starter or they could all be in the minors all year (well, except for Bundy, he won’t be in the minors).   As for Bundy, this appears to be the put up or shut up point of no return.  Because the Orioles Mr. Bungled him back in 2012 and promoted him for one and two-thirds inning, he has to stay in the majors all year in 2016.  And you wonder why teams hold players in the minors way past the point when they should.  Bundy could sit on the bench for a portion of the season, could be used as a long man, could be asked to don a flannel and be a longshoreman, could be a setup man or could be in the rotation.  I’m not messin’ when I say he’ll likely do all of those things.  I wouldn’t even be shocked if he hits the DL with some mysterious injury that doesn’t exist.  It’s not like he can throw an entire season in the rotation.  Kinda crazy how teams are constantly holding down players in the minors, then a guy that could legitimately use the work in the minors like Bundy, won’t be able.  Good rules, major league baseball!  2016 Projections:  6-8/4.29/1.29/105 in 100 IP

106. Jose Berrios – I already gave you my Jose Berrios fantasy.  It was written three sheets to the wind and one duvet.  (On a side note, you know Fat Bastard from the Austin Powers movies?  Well, right now, the Twins are being his cousin, Cheap Bastard, and not saying Berrios will start the year in the rotation.  I think it’s ludicrous to think Berrios won’t be the 5th starter from the jump, but if that remains true, I might lower him in the rankings.  Like your teeth, you’ve been caveated!) 2016 Projections:  5-6/3.44/1.07/124 in 140 IP

107. Robert Stephenson – I already gave you my Robert Stephenson fantasy.  It was written while my mom screamed in the background, “Grey, dress warmer, you’re going to catch a cold.”  2016 Projections:  6-10/4.05/1.42/145 in 150 IP

108. Julio Urias – I already gave you my Julio Urias fantasy.  It was originally written by an exotic dancer, then stolen by me.  2016 Projections:  7-2/3.29/1.18/78 in 75 IP

109. Lucas Giolito – I already gave you my Lucas Giolito fantasy.  I wrote it while watching the movie, Carol.  Snooze!  2016 Projections:  4-6/3.62/1.21/82 in 80 IP

110. Tyler Glasnow – Too bad the Pirates don’t have a Jimmy Perestroika to go along with Glasnow.  Ya know, for openness’s sake.  Glasnow’s minor league numbers look purdy, but so did Jameson Taillon’s.  Mean’s while, Taillon should also be ready, but the Pirates went out and got Vogelsong and Niese.  It’s like when you purchase a wok and start buying bok choy, baby corn and water chestnuts.  You don’t want those vegetables, but you got a wok.  Same with the Pirates, they have Ray Searage so they may as well go out and get crappy, old pitchers to challenge him.  2016 Projections:  2-2/3.44/1.30/52 in 50 IP

111. Archie Bradley – Dot dot dot…but there’s Robbie, Rubby and Josh.  Oy vey!  See Richard Kind’s inspired performance as Glinda, the Good Witch who married a doctor.  Person exiting the theater, “I’ve never heard someone kvetch like that before.  I could’ve stayed home and called my aunt, Audrey.”  2016 Projections:  5-4/4.18/1.45/45 in 60 IP

112. Jameson Taillon – See what I said for Glasnow or 1/18th of an inch above.  2016 Projections:  1-3/3.66/1.22/41 in 50 IP

113. Brandon Finnegan – I debated putting him up in Dot Dot Dot, because Finnegan should be a 9 K/9 pitcher.  The thing that stopped me was I’d be shocked if pitched more than 120 IP, so there’s less of a reason to re-Joyce Finnegan’s likely early wake.  2016 Projections:  4-6/4.11/1.36/117 in 115 IP

114. Drew Pomeranz – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Cobb.  I call this tier, “A long reliever is just a starter in the 3rd inning of blowouts.”  All of these guys are likely to spend a good portion of the season in the bullpen, but they could all function as starters if injuries hit.  Here’s what I said this offseason about Pomeranz, “Went the over way in the Alonso trade.  Pomeranz now finds himself in Petco, which seems appropriate.  Babe Ruth in The House That Ruth Built = A guy named after Pomeranians in Petco.  Only thing that would be more fitting is if the New York Mets changed to the Mutts and played in the Javits Center during the Westminster Dog Show.  For now, Pomeranz is slotted in the bullpen, which is fine as long as it’s not a bulldog.”  And that’s me quoting me!  By the way, my Moms bought a showdog about a year ago.  The dog has a handler, a trainer, a coach and a groomer.  The dog has a bigger entourage than Jay-Z and Bey.  So, guess who’s going to Westminster next week to see their dogbro compete?  Yours truly!  2016 Projections:  5-5/3.46/1.22/122 in 125 IP

115. Drew Hutchison – It’s funny (not funny) how some pitchers get an opportunity to start even if they don’t deserve it, then other guys pitch 185 innings and 150 innings in back-to-back seasons and get bumped from the rotation.  Hutchison didn’t exactly pitch well in the rotation the last two years (ERAs:  4.48 and 5.57), but he’s 25 years old and should be getting another shot.  Why do I feel like this is copied from an email sent by Scott Boras?  2016 Projections:  7-5/4.07/1.31/87 in 100 IP

116. Jesse Chavez – Here’s what I said earlier this offseason, “Traded to the Jays.  Wanna hear the most boring prediction ever?  I bet Chavez will be better than Zimmermann and Happ in 2016.  For now, Chavez is in the bullpen, but I bet that changes by April.  And that’s the 2nd most boring prediction ever.”  And that’s me copying and pasting me!  2016 Projections:  4-6/3.33/1.16/77 in 80 IP

117. Hector Santiago – The best thing we can hope for this offseason is Jered Weaver gets hurt.  This will guarantee a starting job for Santiago, so The Sciosciapath can’t bump Heaney from the rotation.  Yes, it is sad that’s the best we can hope for.  Remember the days we’d hope our English teacher lifted her arm just right so we could glimpse of her bra.  Wait, that means even a high school Grey was a Cougar hunter; I need to tell my shrink we had a breakthrough.  Thank you for your help!  2016 Projections: 6-8/4.17/1.34/114 in 130 IP

118. Kris Medlen – Brucely, I don’t like the way this guy is always minding other people’s business.  This…this Medlen kid!  I also don’t like that he’s filling up a stamp card at Dr. James Andrews’s office.  2016 Projections:  8-3/3.71/1.20/89 in 120 IP

119. Brandon Morrow – You might be saying to yourself, “Self, I’m gonna start wearing deodrant in 2016!  Also, Self, this tier isn’t middle relievers, it’s guys in the rotation.  Silly, Grey.  For a wildly handsome guy, he sure is dumb.”  Yeah, this tier has some guys already in the rotation, but none of them will get a full season of innings.  2016 Projections:  4-6/3.61/1.26/77 in 95 IP

120. Alex Wood – Like Paul Giamatti in 2004, this guy’s career really went sideways.  He was on the verge of being a top 20 starter last year.  This year he can’t even blame Mattingly for not being in the rotation.  2016 Projections:  7-2/3.17/1.21/71 in 85 IP

121. Chris Heston – One note about this tier.  In deep leagues with deep benches, it pays to have a guy like Heston over, say, Matt Cain, because Cain will likely get injured or Heston will just be more effective overall.  In deep leagues with shallower benches where you just need starters, you take Cain over Heston because you need starters, no matter what.  Yes, rankings don’t always tell you the correct rankings for every league.  Sorry, I know you were hoping to just burp, fart and bring this list to your draft.  As for Heston, he really should be in the rotation, and likely will be for at least four months.  2016 Projections:  7-4/3.87/1.30/101 in 130 IP

122. Zack Wheeler – He will return in June/July, which makes a terribly confusing portmanteau with Juuly.   When he does return his fantasy managers will play grabass they’re so excited, but then the Mets are going to say Wheeler will start in middle relief and those same fantasy baseballers are gonna be like, “I can’t even get laid by my fantasy team!”  Or the Mets will go to a six-man rotation, which will mean their first five starters will pitch every fifth day and Wheeler will start one game every couple of weeks when the Mets have to play a doubleheader.  2016 Projections:  5-4/3.77/1.35/87 in 90 IP

123. Alex Cobb – Also in Juuly, we’re going to start hearing about Cobb’s eminent return and we’re gonna be like I love eminent’s Slim Shady songs, but why such hate for his mommy?  Does she not bring him Doritos when he asks?  Is he not a Back Home Baller like moi?  2016 Projections:  3-3/4.04/1.28/74 in 80 IP

124. Jon Gray – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until the end of the list.  I call this tier, “So, you auto-drafted these guys?  Cool, now drop them.”  Tier name is self-explanatory.  Maybe these guys emerge at some point to become streamers, but they are not good bets to provide value.  As for Gray, if I would’ve loved you more, I would’ve named you Sonny.  2016 Projections:  7-13/4.66/1.38/156 in 175 IP

125. Yovani Gallardo – He’s still a free agent, but if he signs with a MLB team, his projections won’t change much.  If he signs with a team in Japan, then I could see the Japanese coming to the games with YoGa mats or YoGa-inspired togas.  Or togae, if you’re playing Words With Friends.  UPDATE:  The Orioles finalized a deal with Gallardo after putting a bunch of clauses in his contract.  Unfortunately, they didn’t put the clause “has to be good to get paid.”  They’re gonna wish they put that one in.  2016 Projections: 10-11/4.16/1.38/117 in 170 IP

126. Jon Niese – Here’s what I said this offseason when Niese went to the Pirates, “The dark cloud moves into Pittsburgh.  I don’t mean Niese is a negative person, I mean his nose casts a long, dark shadow.  Niese was around average in Metco, which means he’ll be a little less than average in PNC.  By the by, did you know PNC is short for pancake?”  And that’s me quoting me!  2016 Projections:  10-10/3.98/1.37/120 in 185 IP

127. Mat Latos – Signed with the White Sox, so that leaves us with the question, who will tag Mat more, AL hitters or his wife, Dallas, on Facebook?  2016 Projections: 8-9/4.22/1.29/117 in 140 IP

128. Matt Cain – The bad news is he had a 5.79 ERA last year.  The good news is he’ll only make it until May before he’s bumped from the rotation. 2016 Projections: 6-9/4.77/1.33/80 in 110 IP

129. C.J. Wilson – Whenever he pitches, it’s like Christmas in the summer.  Because all his dandruff makes it appear to be snowing.  2016 Projections:  7-9/4.37/1.35/119 in 145 IP

130. Anthony DeSclafani – He wasn’t really bad last year.  Of course, he wasn’t good either and last year was likely his ceiling.  Quibble, quibble, you.  2016 Projections:  7-12/4.48/1.36/135 in 170 IP

131. Michael Lorenzen – DeSclafani and Lorenzen are going to generate serious expletives from Bryan Price this year.  He will be cursing so much you could say Price will be doing the Times Cusswords.  2016 Projections:  8-13/4.81/1.45/110 in 145 IP

132. Chase Anderson – This guy has some upside, at least that’s what Brewers fans will be saying to themselves as he gives up five runs a game.  Maybe the Brewers will have a special promotion when Anderson is pitching and let the Manitowoc County Sheriff’s Department umpire his games.  By the way, is anyone surprised Manitowoc County Sheriff’s Department Facebook page is listed as Manitowoc County Sheriffs (sic) Department.  I wonder if Andrew Colborn started the Fan Page.  2016 Projections: 6-11/4.54/1.37/109 in 150 IP

133. Jered Weaver – If someone drafts Weaver in your league, you should kick them out.  Or at least beat them.  2016 Projections:  9-14/4.71/1.29/107 in 175 IP

134. Wade Miley – Here’s what I said this offseason, “(Miley was) traded to the Mariners for Carson Smith and Roenis Elias.  Are the Mariners pulling a Loria?  Why would they trade Carson Smith, who was a beast last year in middle relief, for a starter that wasn’t good?  Did they not get the memo about great middle relievers being the new starter?  This trade is so terrible I almost want to read what some of the Mariner homers at FanGraphs have to say about why it makes sense for Seattle, but I’m not that interested, to be completely honest.”  And that’s me quoting me!  2016 Projections: 9-12/4.28/1.34/141 in 190 IP

135. Jesse Hahn – He was shut down with elbow discomfort in July.  So, you can talk to the Hahn, but the elbow may not care.  2016 Projections:  5-8/4.38/1.36/110 in 145 IP

136. Colby Lewis – By the way, how about that Rangers pitching staff?!  Incredibly, it’s better than the A’s pitching staff.  The Angels pitching staff leaves some to be desired too.  And the Mariners… Hey, give me hitter matchups vs. the AL West!  2016 Projections:  11-12/4.31/1.29/111 in 155 IP

137. Yasiel Sierra – He’s a Cuban the Dodgers signed to use as a potential starter or bullpen arm.  He had a 4.23 ERA in Cuba with a 6.6 K/9 and 5.0 BB/9.  Reports say he has great stuff though, so my question is why didn’t he use it in Cuba?  It has to be at least considered that the Dodgers only signed him so they could call the name Yasiel and mess with Puig, especially with his billboards littered all around town.  Every time I drive up my street I see that and I think about how the marketing geniuses at Starter didn’t realize Puig is not pledging allegiance with “I’m here to stay,” but is actually taunting us, because what is implied is, “You’re never getting rid of me.”  2016 Projections:  3-5/4.37/1.33/59 in 90 IP

138. R.A. Dickey – Positives about owning him are if you also draft Ryan Rua, you can name your team, R.U.A. Dickey?  Negatives are too numerous to mention.  2016 Projections:  13-11/4.29/1.29/132 in 200 IP

139. Ryan Vogelsong – I could’ve also listed here Christall Young, Mike “My Fingers Taste Good” Pelfrey, Jeff “Thomas Hardy Starring As” Locke, Ricky “Are You Sure I’m Not Injured” Nolasco, Tommy “Baloney” Milone, Bud “Chuck” Norris, Williams “There’s More Than One Of Us” Perez, Manny “Don’t Call Me The Bathrooms” Banuelos, Tom “I Can Be Found In The Bathroom” Koehler, Bartolo “In The Koehler In The Banuelos I Empty My” Colon, Jarred “Don’t Be Scurred” Cosart, “Allowing” Homer Bailey, Edwin “I’m Sorry Ms.” Jackson, Charlie “Bit My Finger” Morton, Jeremy “Go To” Hellickson, Brett “Remote Control” Oberholtzer, Joe “Mama” Kelly and “Sippin’ On Gin And Juice” Sabathia.  They’re all rosterable in insanely deep leagues, and I feel bad for you if you have to go there.  2016 Projections:  Bleh/Burp/Belch/Gas in Farts

 
  1. Snag says:
    (link)

    I can keep one player who exceeded rookie limits last year, Schoop or Grichuk?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Snag: Schoop

  2. Ante GALIC says:
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    Grey!

    a. Speaking of moments, do you like this song? (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ux3u31SAeEM). I knew you would. And don’t poo-poo Moment it’s a new movie starring Tom Hanks! Hanks for the mammories and the Josh Tomlin blurb.

    b. So you didn’t like (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2402927/). But, but, but, IMDB says 7.5/10? What gives? Just kidding, the best movies I’ve seen are like 6.0/10 or lower. A few exceptions like killer blockbusters (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0790636/, comes to mind) with 7.5+/10 rankings but anyway…
    So are you saying it’s not worth sitting through faking it for after movie sex because you proved that you are emancipated? (Y/N)

    c. I think you underestimated the Searage effect. You know, like how most weather forecasts don’t factor in the windchill effect or how airplanes fly because of the Bernoulli principle (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8vqMotb6m3c). Niese could be better is all I’m saying.

    Cheers,
    Ante

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Ante GALIC: A. I think that the most viewed videos with that one are Enigma says a lot B. Nah, it was a bore C. Is that wind going over his nose?

  3. bossmanjunior333 says:
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    No minor league player of the year, Blake Snell?

  4. Yescheese says:
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    Cashner at the same level as Porcello. That sounds right to me! Thanks for having the bravery to call Cashner what he is.

  5. Dave F says:
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    Grey,

    Thanks again for putting this together every year. You do an amazing job. My pitching categories are a bit different than standard. 10 team league 7×7. Pitching cats are IP, K, ERA, K/9, WHIP, BB/9, combined Saves/Holds.

    In our league, I’ve found that you need 8 SP to compete in the quantity categories. I’m fortunate enough to start with Goldy, Machado, Arenado, Altuve, and Encarnacion as my keepers. In light of the fact that 50 players are already kept, my hitting is starting off strong, and the pitching categories used, how would you approach drafting starters? What would change from your general strategy?

    • Cram It says:
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      @Dave F: Probably same strategy. You’re drafting in round 6. You could take a pitcher there.

      • danny almonte says:
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        @Cram It:

        Yeah id look at a pitcher there but also an OFer and grab the best value. I wouldnt pigeonhole myself to taking an SP if theres a better value available at OF

    • Bterry says:
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      @Dave F: why dont you look to trade E-5 for an elite of bat? Your pretty set at CI and he should be good enough to net you a top ten of. Maybe even a top 5 if the team is OF keeper heavy and needs a CI. Maybe try to send for springer? May be a lil too good of a young player but id try something to that nature. Even an e-5 for joey bats swap.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Dave F: What Cram said

  6. Fungazi says:
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    After Porcello came back from injury last season, he finished in 7 games: 3.22 ERA, 1.15 WHIP and 8.9 K/9. Was this just random lucky stretch of games or did he change something? It’s also worth noting the 7 games were W Sox, 2 x TB, Tor and NYY as 5 of these games were against meaningless teams and didn’t do well during one Tor game.

    • Cram It says:
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      @Fungazi: I declare that nothing about Porcello is worth noting.

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Cram It: I don’t know. Mix with some garlic and a little rosemary. Add in some heavy cream and reduce and you got a nice sauce.

        • Cram It says:
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          @J-FOH: I think that’s pronounced “portobello”

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Cram It: Ohhhhhhh, I thought you were doing a porchini/portobello portmanteau

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Fungazi: I’d lean on the larger sample size of his career vs. 7 games

  7. Jason E. says:
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    As a Tigers fan, it is comforting to see our “ace” snuggled nicely between James Shields and Hisashi. Ugh! Then the rest of our starters are scattered about the top 80-139. Well except for Mike Pelfry who made it as an alternate. Fans up here keep saying, “We really strengthened our bullpen!” I suppose when we were rolling out guys like Joe Nathan and Al Alberquerque it is improved, but I am not sure these starters are going to be leaving the bullpen is optimal situations. At least there is only Victor Martinez is only making 18 mil in 2018 at the ripe age of 39 and JV has only 5 years left of an annual salary of 27 mil. This squad is going to score some runs, but I don’t see how they maintain a .500 record with that pitching.

    Sorry for the rant, but I agree…this organization is delusional.

    • Jason E. says:
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      @Jason E.: Under 500 is probably too harsh, but I can’t see them winning the division.

    • ChefBoyRG54 says:
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      @Jason E.: as a fellow detroit fan, its safe to say the wheels have fallen off and its a long road ahead. Going to be a rough year

      • Jason E. says:
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        @ChefBoyRG54: At least our farm system is full of exciting talent…oops

        • ChefBoyRG54 says:
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          @Jason E.: but they got that one guy. Yep….nope

  8. Duda Want to Build a Snowman? says:
    (link)

    Very pumped for the top 100! In terms of OBP rankings, how should we use your rankings v. the player rater ones? For example, my 2-year mancrush and OBPeast, George Springer, is 20th overall for you (and at least that on my list too) but 31st on the player rater for ESPN 6×6 OBP leagues. He’s 11 behind Posey and 4 behind Schwarber.

    I’m in a H2H ESPN league that tracks OBP and OPS instead of AVG, so my guess is that I’m using the player rater incorrectly?

    Thanks as always!

  9. 'Saul Gooood, Man says:
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    After seeing this list, and being a Reds fan, it’s one of those years where fantasy > the success of your hometown team. It’ll still be fun to see all the new faces on the mound.

  10. Tweak says:
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    Other than the fact that he may struggle to stick in the rotation at first, I’m not sure that I’d be quite so down on Eickhoff. I don’t think he’ll be a #1 or anything, but a Phan I know told me that Eickhoff may have been dealing with some personal life issues for some time in the minors and seemed to right the ship last year for himself and in his game.

    Also, I still don’t understand why the Nationals don’t put Roark in the rotation full-time.

    • danny almonte says:
      (link)

      @Tweak:

      If this is true, consider him on my do not ever draft list. I want no part of a dude that cant perform on the field when he has personal problems. Female traits. No crying in fantasy baseball!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Tweak: Could be, but ‘Hoff will be available in every league except the absolute deepest after the drafts, so when he’s pitching well, you can snag him then

    • Malicious Phenom says:
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      @Phil: No worries, we never heard of you either..

  11. Nick says:
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    @Grey: wondering your thoughts on Keepers

    10 team, head to head, auction draft @ $260, can keep up to 5 players. Which 5 do you like? Thank you as always.

    Jose Abreu $21
    Nolan Arenado $13
    Carlos Correa $5
    Eric Hosmer $11
    Delino DeShields $5
    Maikel Franco $5

    Gerrit Cole $18
    Danny Salazar $10
    Sonny Gray $16
    Carlos Carrasco $17

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      @Nick: Jose Abreu $21
      Nolan Arenado $13
      Carlos Correa $5
      Cole, Franco

  12. The toddfather says:
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    How you doing grey, quick keeper question its roto scoring keep forever league would you trade kris Bryant for Cory Seager and a first round pick which is equivalent to a 7 th round keep in mind I am going for the 3 peat I’ve won it the last 2 yrs or would you move Bryant for kershaw straight up there is also the option to just keep Bryant. My other keepers of right now are posey Frazier Heyward Braun and either cespedes or c Gomez. I really want to win this year. Thanks in advance your advice has helped me win the last couple.

    • Jason E. says:
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      @The toddfather: My unsolicited opinion is to keep Bryant. To me, that offer isn’t all that enticing. And Yoenis over Gomez.

      • Malicious Phenom says:
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        @Jason E.: I agree with Jason.

  13. CMUTimmah says:
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    In college, I had Berrios once. It’s not that fantastic. The beer just suds up and expedites the sogging of the cereal. Therefore, I feel like Jose is going to be good in theory, but bad in execution… but only on the my own social bias to his name sounding like a bad idea.

    Much like yesterday’s post… what’s with all the familiar names? Danny, Jimmy, Robbie, CJ, JA, RA, Drew. Gimme yo government names fools! You’ve all burned me at some point. So I don’t want to be so close.

  14. Aubrey Plaza's Pillow says:
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    i’ve been calling it for years “getting Porcello’d” when a guy allows a bunch of singles in the same inning to have an awful whip/ERA game for only that reason. But if he constantly allows hard contact it’s not quite all luck (i’m not sure he’s always allowed hard contact in high %’s though)

  15. The discarded head of Ted Williams says:
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    I am surprised you did not take the opportunity to write a funny blurb about bartolo colon.

  16. Matty says:
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    I hate to be the guy who says “Hey! What about Jay Gibbons?” just to be told that he retired years ago and also sucked, but, what about the Emoticon? Did I miss really bad news about Smyly?

    • danny almonte says:
      (link)

      @Matty: hes been ranked earlier

      • Matty says:
        (link)

        @danny almonte:
        Thanks. No idea how I missed him when reading through. Then I didn’t see him in the preseason rater and assumed the worst.

        • The Harrow says:
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          @Matty: i’m assuming pitchers in player rater get adjusted post Grey’s pitcher rankings, as clearly there’s gaps in pitcher rater currently.

  17. ChefBoyRG54 says:
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    i heard porcello’s 2 seamer was trying to patent an app that uses GPS to find the barrel of the opponents bats

    any truth to this?

      • ChefBoyRG54 says:
        (link)

        @Grey: that would be preferable since i would rather see a baseball show up on the map instead of 5 non existent cops and 85 cars parked on the side of the freeway

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          God, so true!

  18. Old School Brother says:
    (link)

    Grey!

    Martin Perez is gonna rock and shock the nation like the emancipation proclamation, you heard it here first. Of course, I said the same thing about Dutch Master last year, and I have been known to be a tad bit homer-y

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      If someone came from the future and said Hamels and one other starter were usable on the Rangers, I’d say Perez… But then I’d say, “How usable do you mean?”

      • Old School Brother says:
        (link)

        @Grey: He had back to back shut outs before donating a Rolls Royce to Dr. James Andrews and going under the knife. Yu is a such a godzilla-y freak that I could see him having a year similar to Harvey’s post TJ performance. Of course being in a league full of Ranger homers I know someone will draft Yu in the 10th round and stash him, def not worth that

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Yeah, I do like Yu…Darvish that is,but you’re all right too…

          • Old School Brother says:
            (link)

            @Grey: I’ve been so busy at work, stinks to only be able to devote a quick skim to your genius Grey. Things better slow down by April

  19. GleamTeam_Matt says:
    (link)

    Should we expecting a “War Room” excel spreadsheet like last year? That was super helpful for me last season.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Early next week

  20. ashtray says:
    (link)

    Our league allows us two ‘NA” spots to stash a minor leaguer but it’s not a dynasty league so the players have to be relevant to the current year. Is there a short list of prospects you see having the biggest impact in 2016?

  21. Robdouth says:
    (link)

    Richard Kind, That sounds like more of a Richard Lewis one man show.

    Oy vey!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Ha

  22. pbmax says:
    (link)

    5 x 5 OPS League, $260 Cap; Sale(33) for Piscotty(10) and Melancon(15). I would acquire Sale, already have Cueto(16) Salazar(10) and Rasiel(5) for my staff. 4 OF League, I have Stanton and Billy H already.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Sale side

      • pbmax says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Thanks Grey!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          No problem

  23. The Great Knoche says:
    (link)

    The one guy on this list who I think could really surprise if given a shot is the Pomeranian. The pedigree is there and he’s shown some flashes albeit better out of the kennel, I mean bullpen.

    8+ K/9 2.5 BB/9. It’s still there, and this should be the year that 2013 Coors Field Hangover wears off. If he finds way into rotation he could surprise in Petco.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I like him a lot too, but he needs to get out of the bullpen

      • The great knoche says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Look at their options after Ross/Shields/Cashner

        Rea, Maurer, Erlin, Morrow, and Pom. He has to be in the top 2 of that group I would think. This is the Padres I guess so you never know though……

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          I don’t think he’s top two right now, but once Morrow and Maurer get injured or flame out then he will be

  24. MajesticOwl says:
    (link)

    Thanks as usual for the entertaining write-up!

    Would you put the players in the 106 to 113 tier in roughly the same order for something other than a redraft league? Moving them up isn’t really an issue, since they’re only taking up minor league spots for me anyway.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Thanks! I’d bump them up in a keeper/dynasty league or any league with an N/A slot

  25. Tigres says:
    (link)

    Hey Grey – when will RCL signups start?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Is ESPN open? Likely beginning of next week

      • A Wesley Snipes Life says:
        (link)

        @Grey: i had heard this wasn’t until the 14th, but i just got a league invite today, just a couple of hours ago.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Oh really?

          • A Wesley Snipes Life says:
            (link)

            @Grey: i’m in that league now, in fact i had comish reinvite me to a better email that i’ll see more often. only issue is he put it on the 19th march, i already am jammed up with drafts that day.

  26. JoeG414 says:
    (link)

    A: Semien or Lawrie as a late middle pick ? B: Schoop over both ?
    6×6 Roto

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Lawrie

  27. Brian says:
    (link)

    16 team h2h dynasty 6×6 with OPS and K/BB as extra cats and QS instead of wins. My 3b is beltre. Sano will lose elig after this year. Should I trade 1 of sano/xander and 1 of jfer/degrom for bryant and a minor league draft pick. my starting lineup is ramos, hosmer, kipnis, correa, beltre, stanton, marte, cruz, ortiz, sano with xander, brantley, dickerson, avisail on bench. my starters are price, fernandez, degrom, sonny gray, salazar, liriano, gausman, teheran, clay, karns, peavy, jamie garcia, lamb, rich hill with alex reyes, mateo, margot as notable names occupying my 17 minor league roster spots. Thanks grey!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Xander/deGrom for Bryant, yes

      • Brian says:
        (link)

        @Grey:
        He’s looking for xander, sano, and sonny gray. Would you package all 3 if you could also get back 1 of…kolten wong, Blackmon, Carlos gomez, pick 1.6 in 1St year player draft, or smyly in addition to bryant? I’m inclined to pass but curious what you think.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          I’d want Bryant and Blackmon

  28. Dom says:
    (link)

    Keeper question: 10-team, 5×5 roto, mixed league, keeping 10.
    I’m keeping the following 9
    Hitters: Rizzo, Arenado, Correa, Bryant, Harper, Adam Jones
    Pitchers: Grienke, Carrasco, Salazar
    Need one more from this list: Soler, Eaton, Gardner, Calhoun, A. Gordon or B. Crawford

    Thanks

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Soler

  29. CMUTimmah says:
    (link)

    Mat Latos… he spells his own name wrong. How can I count on him? Perfect that he’s in Hawk Harrelson country, because on my draft board “HE GAWN!”

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Haha

  30. Robdouth says:
    (link)

    I’m in a 10 team (weak I know) 4 keeper league.

    I have Stanton, Arenado, Upton and can choose between:

    Gordon and Arrieta or trade.

    I know you have Arrieta up there just outside the top 20 and he’s worth a top 40 pick, but given no one in my league believes pitching is deep (I picked up Arrieta as my first pitcher last year in the 10-11 round and still finished 2nd in pitching categories), I’m planning on shopping him for a top 20 hitter possibly.

    Given my 3 keepers already, who in the 11-20 rankings would you target realistically? I think I could get Marte, Martinez or Betts for Arrieta, but I’m looking to stay away from getting only one year of keeper level (like Miguel Cabrera)

    Side Note, there are 3 Cubs fans in my league so who knows what people would give for him.

    • CMUTimmah says:
      (link)

      @Robdouth: Depends on your settings, but I always keep a hitter over a pitcher when they are truly comparable. Marte or Betts would be the target if it were me. I might want Betts over Marte, as I think in the long run he has the better ceiling.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Marte, Betts, JD, any of them… I’d go as I’ve ranked them though

  31. Biggie Smalls says:
    (link)

    Would you trade Abreu for Springer in a Keep forever league?

    R/HR/RBI/SB/K/AVG/LBP/SLG

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      If I had a 1B already

      • Biggie Smalls says:
        (link)

        I’ve got Miggy. I’m going to accept, thanks!

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          No probblem

  32. Scott says:
    (link)

    I think you’ve only listed three Oakland starters overall. How far off the list would the next Oakland starter (Chris Bassitt, Sean Nolin, somebody else) be?
    (I like Oakland as one of the teams to fish for $1 spot starters)

    Thanks

  33. Herb says:
    (link)

    Keeper league where we keep our guys as long as we want with no costs. I was offered M Betts for Buxton and Y Moncada. Do I take it?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Take Betts

  34. Grey,

    Like either of these deals? Keeper 15 teams

    Give Miggy Melancon get Carpenter Votto

    Give Rizzo S Miller get Frasier Lester

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I don’t like either

  35. JeF WiTh 1 F says:
    (link)

    Anybody wanna fuck

    • JeF WiTh 1 F says:
      (link)

      @JeF WiTh 1 F: shit wrong site my bad

      • JeF WiTh 1 F says:
        (link)

        @JeF WiTh 1 F: or maybe it’s the right site

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Right site, wrong sport… You’re looking for JB

      • J-FOH says:
        (link)

        @Grey: did marriage push JB to the Tehol realm?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
          (link)

          Ha

  36. Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
    (link)

    What’s crappening Grey?!

    Large keeper league…Give Sano/Cole for Corey Seager/Berrios? Giving Cole means I keep Archer. Is Seager worth it?

    https://youtu.be/KoMQBeaDNlc

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      I’d take Seager

      • Dr. Kenneth Noisewater says:
        (link)

        Was leaning that way. Think I’ma do it. Thank you kindly.

  37. SwaggerJackers says:
    (link)

    ESPN proections/rankings are up.
    http://games.espn.go.com/flb/tools/projections

    There is some crazy stuff in there…

    Miggy and Abreu above Rizzo

    Altuve 5th overall

    Dee Gordon 13th

    Matt Carpenter 28

    Kyle Seager 35

    Lucroy 60

    Revere 63

    I guess this isn’t technically their “draft kit” but whatever it is – I like it!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
      (link)

      Altuve fifth overall, wow…All of those wow…

      • SwaggerJackers says:
        (link)

        @Grey: No kidding. I didn’t even get into some of the pitcher rankings. I had to go many, many pages deep to find Carlos Rodon.

        +1 for my typo that kind of looks like pro-erections. I feel like we need to come up with a definition so that can be added to the Razz glossary.

      • The Great Knoche says:
        (link)

        @Grey: Cockcroft’s ranking he updated yesterday look a little in line. Not sure if they take a group poll for their big board?

  38. Jon Doe says:
    (link)

    Good stuff grey
    Thoughts on Cashner as a bounce back canfitate? Good stuff, young, and before last year was excellent when healthy.

Comments are closed.