So it’s not really the 2nd half mark in the fantasy baseball season, but it’s the All-Star Break so what else are we going to talk about? Hell’s Kitchen? Is it even believable that these people would one day be in charge of a kitchen? There’s Real World castmates who seem like they have their shizz together better than these schmohawks. I like the one guy who burps a lot. He seems ready to run a kitchen! MasterChef, though, that show is the Sistine Chapel of reality shows. Okay, as with all of the other 2014 fantasy baseball rankings, take this list with a grain of salt. If you need a 2nd baseman, but an outfielder is above him that doesn’t mean you can’t trade the outfielder for the 2nd baseman. Also, things change in fantasy baseball. Daily. I could put Miggy number three on the top 100 list for the second half of 2014 and he could get in a fight with a bartender (not Tom Wilhelmsen) tomorrow, then he wouldn’t be number one. See how that works. This list is a road map for where I think guys are valued. It’s not the Holy Grail in the Church of Grey, that would be my mustache. This list is NOT (caps for emphasis, not aesthetics) where I see guys ending up if you were to take their first half and combine it with the 2nd half of their season. This is simply a list of the top hundred fantasy baseball players if you were to pick them up today. So while Carlos Santana did not have the greatest first half, he will appear on this list because I still believe. The projections are not their combined 1st half and 2nd half numbers; these are their projections for the 2nd half of 2014. I also liberally used our rest of the season Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. That’s right, we have a Player Rater that tells you what guys will do. Welcome to the future! Anyway, here’s the top 100 for fantasy baseball for the 2nd half of 2014:
1. Mike Trout – Do his groupies call themselves Fishtail? Or Groupers? Projections: 48/12/45/.317/10
2. Clayton Kershaw – I’ve said this before, but it’s worth repeating. I rank pitchers much higher in the midseason because you know by this point which pitchers are healthy and putting together terrific seasons. In March, it’s much more of a crapshoot, which also happens to be Clayton’s gambling brother. Crapshoot Kershaw has a real problem, and he’s colorblind, so how’s he ever going to get even betting on blue? Projections: 8-2/2.35/0.98/98
3. Miguel Cabrera – I wanted to drop Miggy down to like 20th overall and give you a big, HOW YA LIKE ME NOW? UH-OH, I BROKE MY CAPs, there it goes… But if you want a safe guy that should produce, very few get safer than Miggy. Projections: 43/15/52/.317/1
4. Paul Goldschmidt – Au Shizz has come a far way in a year and a half and I feel like I had a small part in it. I was the first one to rank him in the top 20, over 18 months ago, and now he’s a mainstay in the top 5. Okay, I had no part in anything that Au Shizz did, but I like to think it. Projections: 42/14/46/.301/6
5. Jose Abreu – The Grande Dolor! Right now, Fidel is raising his hand, waiting for his manservant to run into the room to high five him. That’s all Fidel does all day. Randomly raises his hand and waits for someone to high five him. If it takes longer than three seconds, someone dies. Projections: 39/16/49/.272/1
6. Andrew McCutchen – It’s weird, I don’t necessarily get that excited about The Dread Pirate, and I own him. One homer and one steal a week is kinda whatever to live with, but when you get to the end of the season and he has 25 HRs and 25 steals and solid everything else, it’s really hard to argue with it. Not to mention, you’d be arguing with numbers and that would make you look like John Nash. Projections: 41/10/43/.312/10
7. Adam Jones – Bit like The Dread Pirate. Pacman’s far from thrilling day-to-day, but he never is day-to-day. He plays every day and accumulates all kinds of stats. It’s Pabst, not really worth its Blue Ribbon, my brew I’m sippin’. Sorry, got caught up in a freestyle there for a second. Projections: 43/13/45/.284/6
8. Felix Hernandez – He’s got fans all over the country. Projections: 7-2/2.56/1.00/91
9. Giancarlo Stanton – The All-Star break is a good time to look back at where we’ve been so far this year. I was glad for the opportunity in March to see Giancarlo through his bathroom window from 501 feet away. He left the drapes open on purpose, I know he did. I’m sure we’ll have more memorable moments in the 2nd half where I have to drive the old cancer-stricken lady to chemo and I can break away for a few moments and take a bath in Giancarlo’s hot tub and steal his teddy bear. Projections: 38/16/42/.264/4
10. Troy Tulowitzki – Tulo Legit, 2 Quit! Please let him be Tulo 2 healthy 2 get injured 2. Projections: 41/14/46/.304/1
11. Carlos Gonzalez – Bit aggressive here because I’m thinking, perhaps foolishly, that we’ve got the DL stint behind us and now we’re just headed for the good stuff from CarGo. Give us just the good stuff, please. Projections: 43/12/44/.312/9
12. Robinson Cano – I just gave you my Robinson Cano fantasy. It was written in the backseat of Cheech & Chong’s ‘borrowed’ car. Projections: 40/10/46/.317/3
13. Max Scherzer – I flip-flopped Wainwright and Scherzer more times than I’d like to say. Okay, twice. I could see it going either way. Waino has ratios, Scherzer’s got Ks, they’re both flip-floppin’ awesome. Projections: 9-2/2.98/1.11/108
14. Adam Wainwright – See what I just said about Scherzer, but change ‘twice’ to ‘thrice.’ Projections: 8-3/2.62/0.99/79
15. Michael Brantley – He’s the Drake of this season. Guy who was playing a handicapped kid on Degrassi a few years ago and is now on the top of the charts. And, you know what? You can’t argue with it. As much as you want to hate him, he drops Marvins Room, and you’re like, “Damn, that shizz is dope.” Projections: 40/10/44/.305/10
16. Stephen Strasburg – Pretty much what I’m about to say about Price, except the NL East. Go ahead, continue onto Price. Fine, Simon Says continue. Projections: 8-2/2.75/1.09/92
17. David Price – He’s ranked in the top ten on the Rest of the Season Player Rater, and I buy it. As I’ve said a hundred thousand times, the difference between a pitcher’s K/9 and BB/9 is where I look. If the difference is 6, the pitcher is solid and startable everywhere. The larger that difference gets, the better the pitcher is. Price’s difference is 10. That’s insane. That’s like Cliff Lee winning the Cy Young good. Projections: 7-3/2.80/1.02/94
18. Ryan Braun – Getting the benefit of the doubt due to past seasons and with the hope he’ll accidentally bump into a needle. If he doesn’t come on strong in the 2nd half, Braun will probably drop into the 3rd or 4th round for next year, depending on how bad his 2nd half is. No matter what happens with him, he’ll always have his snazzy Affliction t-shirts. Projections: 39/14/44/.281/7
19. Chris Sale – Since I don’t have Sale anywhere, I will now sing Tiesto’s Wasted, “I like him better when he’s wasyed… It makes it easier to take… Humma-something I don’t know what they’re saying here…” Sorry, that has nothing to do with Sale. It is so catchy like an STD in my ears. Projections: 5-3/2.65/0.95/90
20. Zack Greinke – “Used to have mental health issues, so there’s hope for all of us.” What is the only thing Hurley from Lost and Greinke have in common. Projections: 7-2/2.80/1.06/90
21. Anthony Rizzo – This is gonna be around where he is ranked next year too. Maybe even a little higher. With a big 2nd half, he could sneak into the top 10. For serious. Projections: 38/13/43/.270/2
22. Yasiel Puig – Puig is like Justin Upton with less streakiness due to talent and more streakiness due to flakiness. At any moment, Puig could hit 12 homers in a month and get into the MVP conversation. Or he can run face first into Don Mattingly’s ex-wife’s vagina and get benched indefinitely. Projections: 39/12/41/.298/5
23. Madison Bumgarner – Probably much lower in people’s perception than this ranking, so you can prolly buy low. Grey Albright: Bargain Hunter. Projections: 8-2/2.90/1.12/92
24. Freddie Freeman – To go into quick general terms, let’s look at Freeman vs. Pujols vs. Rizzo. Freeman has a better average, Rizzo has better upside and more downside and Pujols has health issues and power. If my fantasy team needed average more than power and a safer option, I’d go Freeman over Rizzo. If I needed power and average could eff off or if I didn’t want upside and downside, I’d go Pujols over all three. So, as I said in the opening, the rankings are a guide. It doesn’t mean I want Rizzo more than Pujols on every single team. Projections: 46/9/40/.305/1
25. Jose Altuve – Cause Eastbound & Down is hilarious and I like to watch old episodes when I get a chance, I thought I share an oldie but goodie. Altuve and his lookalike. That kills me. Projections: 36/2/19/.312/20
26. Carlos Gomez – When this season was but an itty-bitty egg in the embryo of spring, it looked like Gomez was a surefire 1st rounder. And maybe he’ll pick up the pace again, but in his last two months combined he’s hit the same amount of homers as in April. Projections: 47/9/29/.284/12
27. Albert Pujols – Topps should do one of those novelty cards with two players like they used to with Bumgarner and Pujols for Bum and Pujols. That would make my life. Projections: 39/12/44/.268/2
28. Adrian Beltre – I have a feeling that Beltre should be ranked about fifty spots lower. Like there’s gonna be a 15-day DL stint in Beltre’s future and the Rangers are just gonna say, “Hey, we can’t keep playing games just because the Comatose Rangers Fan thinks we’re headed to the playoffs,” and shut Beltre down early. That’s my gut talking, and I just ate Mexican so it could mean nothing. Projections: 36/13/41/.307/1
29. Bryce Harper – To see if I should go Harper or Upton first, I worked out a few scenarios in my head where I was like, “If I traded Upton for Harper, would I be happy with it?” And the answer was ‘not entirely.’ Though, I’d never think of doing that trade. Trading Upton for Harper is apples for apples. I prefer a trade like, Andrus plus Papelbon plus Arrieta for Harper. I still went with Harper over Upton, because as Harper gets more healthy, there’s more room for upside, and with Upton you know what you’re gonna get. A few weeks of dynamite and a few weeks of the dilapidated casino after the dynamite. Projections: 29/12/39/.282/6
30. Justin Upton – See what I said for Harper or 1/18th of an inch above. Projections: 31/13/39/.272/6
31. Johnny Cueto – Him and Lester are a bit of a flip-flop. Like J. Lo, Cueto’s best is probably behind him, but he’s in the NL, so I went in this order. Projections: 6-3/2.90/1.01/83
32. Jon Lester – Weird to think anyone to do with the Red Sox is underrated, but Lester’s felt that way this year. It’s almost like fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!) look at a team and get overexcited or underwhelmed due to the team’s performance. The Red Sox struggles this year have nothing to do with Lester. Projections: 6-4/2.92/1.15/88
33. Hanley Ramirez – With a shoulder injury going into the break, this is a risky ranking. If he has a setback and misses two weeks, you’re suddenly looking at a gimpy Hanley in August and September, and if the Dodgers get into the playoffs, they could rest Hanley in late-September. So that leaves you with, essentially, the same value as Kolten Wong. You knew I had to mention Kolten Wong at least wongce. Projections: 35/9/37/.272/9
34. Todd Frazier – Glad January Grey went back for a double dip on Todd Frazier sleeper potential. Probably could’ve done without the Jedd Gyorko one. January Grey, “Glad you still think of me, my lawyer says I’ll be out of this Chilean prison by December, at the latest! Anyone for a double dip on Gyorko?!” Projections: 43/11/38/.277/6
35. Jose Bautista – Only thing stopping me from ranking Bautista in the top 15 overall is his health concerns. Perhaps wrongly but I feel like due to his relative healthy 1st half, there’s more a chance of an unhealthy 2nd half. Yes, this thinking is crumby with crackers. Projections: 37/14/39/.268/3
36. Jay Bruce – As his first half showed, he could be ranked 170th overall or in the top 10. I assumed in the preseason a 27-year-old Bruce would surpass his usual solid 30+ HRs, 7 SBs. I put the ass in that assumed. Projections: 37/13/39/.267/5
37. Jacoby Ellsbury – Probably my least successful overrated post from the preseason, but people were ranking him in the top ten overall, and that was overrated, so I was right, but Ellsbury hasn’t been anywhere near a bust, which is not to say he’s never stood next to Billy Butler. Projections: 41/6/40/.290/16
38. Edwin Encarnacion – He can come right back from his injury and produce at his pre-injury level and still have a problem getting this ranking’s value. But I bet against Edwin once before this year and I’ll be damned if I’m throwing bad money after good. Projections: 31/10/33/.267/1
39. Dee Gordon – I look at SAGNOF at the midseason point similar to starters. You know who’s getting saves or steals, and if you need those things, you should pay for them. Would I have done a preseason trade of, say, Edwin for Gordon or Kimbrel or Aroldis? Oh, heck to the fire to the no. At the midpoint of the season, if you need saves or steals, you do what needs to be done. Projections: 48/0/16/.269/25
40. Nelson Cruz – I said to sell Nelson Cruz back in early June and he’s hitting .243 with 8 homers since then. That’s solid…for Josh Willingham. Projections: 35/11/41/.262/3
41. Ian Kinsler – So, how’s your break been so far? You get that new MRPG? Do I even know what an MRPG is? No, but I refuse to jinx Kinsler so there will be no talking about him. Projections: 42/8/29/.274/8
42. Hunter Pence – The Gangly Man-Bird held onto a lot more speed this year from 2013 than I thought he would. His wild flapping ostrich arms did lose some though, and I don’t see him correcting that in the 2nd half. Projections: 34/9/29/.285/6
43. Craig Kimbrel – SAGNOF! Projections: 2-0/1.45/0.91/42, 16 saves
44. Aroldis Chapman – What Grey Writing Kimbrel’s Blurb Would Say or WGWKBWS. That’s not a clunky acronym at all. Projections: 3-1/1.98/1.00/47, 15 saves
45. Ian Desmond – Wasn’t a half to remember for his average, but he was a bit off on his BABIP luck and could hit .280 in the 2nd half or .220. It’s just a matter of how the ball up the middle bounces. Projections: 27/9/37/.267/8
46. David Ortiz – From the St. Paul Pioneer Press in 1998, “He doesn’t have the bat of Cecil Fielder or the name recognition of even Darren Daulton, both of whom the Twins pursued earlier this offseason, but odds are Orlando Merced will line up at first base for manager Tom Kelly’s club on opening day.” A few years later, with Ortiz withering away in the Twins system, the Twins grabbed Jose Morban from Texas, and needed to make room on their roster, so they cut Ortiz. Oopsie. Projections: 38/12/43/.277/1
47. Cole Hamels – Rudy made the right call in the preseason trusting Hamels to return from shoulder tendinitis. His call on trusting Shelby Miller and Verlander, well… Projections: 6-4/2.84/1.12/90
48. Billy Hamilton – Same bailiwick as Dee Gordon, which means they both have speed to burn, which might be a pun on bailiwick but I’m 30,000 words in here and there’s another 30,200 words to go, so let’s continue. Projections: 42/1/30/.270/28
49. Josh Donaldson – When you put his first half together with his 2nd half, he’s going to be a top three 3rd baseman. No question, Alex Trebek. In the 2nd half, he could be surpassed by Pedro Alvarez who wasn’t even ranked. It’s the magic of small sample sizes, at least that’s what I used to tell girlfriends. Projections: 33/11/38/.264/3
50. Brandon Moss – He’s the David Ortiz of the A’s. Only the Phils were the ones that screwed that prospect pooch. Projections: 31/14/43/.260/2
51. Jason Kipnis – I told you he was overrated in the preseason, and he was just that, but due to expectations lowering in the last few months, I’m less cold on him. Still don’t think he comes anywhere near past seasons, but he could hit ten homers and steal 15 bases in the 2nd half. Will he is obviously a different pickle. Projections: 30/8/26/.272/12
52. Jose Reyes – Imagine if Reyes was at a Ramada and stumbled into a Tony Robbins seminar. He could be a top ten player. Projections: 43/4/20/.285/11
53. Evan Longoria – Sadly, I think this ranking is even being optimistic. His fly balls have dramatically dropped like he’s an 85-year-old man. His balls have fallen so far, they’re now ground balls. Projections: 39/12/42/.262/3
54. Yu Darvish – BAM! What? He should be in the top 20 with the rest of the big-name pitchers, but I’m worried about an injury, so I ranked him much lower and that gets a BAM! His last two starts have been a mess, and if there’s anything wrong with him, the Rangers will shut him down. Looking for a sell high? Yu’ve been served. Projections: 4-5/3.35/1.22/95
55. Corey Kluber – Yes, I think Kluber and Darvish will have comparable fantasy value in the 2nd half. Obviously no one else thinks that, so I wouldn’t trade Darvish for Kluber, but you could get Kluber and another piece. Look at me helping you. What a mensch! Just call me The Menschtache! Projections: 6-4/3.12/1.14/88
56. Yoenis Cespedes – Yes, the A’s have a good offense. And that’s not even accounting for Stephen Vogt. I believe in Stephen Vogt! Projections: 30/12/36/.253/3
57. Nolan Arenado – People are already chomping at the bit for who’s going to be ranked much higher next year for me than other sites. All I’ll say is I’m gonna love Arenado until 3005, Childish Gambino. Projections: 41/8/40/.298/2
58. Brian Dozier – Hit 7 homers in April, which was his top month for power, but he still hit 4 homers in May and June and 3 already in July, so the power hasn’t disappeared. A guy that hits 4 homers every month is still hitting 24 on the year. Something about him is nagging me that he’s like Will Venable at a middle infidel slot and we all know where Will Venable is this year. Hmm…Actually, where is he? Is he still in baseball? Projections: 44/9/29/.234/9
59. Chris Davis – I did tell you to sell Davis low about a month ago. I’m really only ranking him this high for the chance he has one of those huge power months that he’s capable of. Like a 15 HR month. I almost feel like there’s a buying opportunity now for Davis, because he’s bottomed out so terribly. On our Player Rater, he’s ranked 255th overall around Martin Prado and Seth Smith. Yeah, things have gotten that bad. Projections: 34/14/39/.242/1
60. Starling Marte – Was a tad touch and go with his fantasy value for a few weeks when the Pirates fell crazy in love Josh Harrison. Surfboard, surfboard. But everyone came to their senses and Marte has done what should be expected of him. Projections: 35/6/28/.262/18
61. Mat Latos – Gil Scott-Heron had to make himself tougher due to growing up with the name Gilbert. Similarly, Latos has to keep himself healthy because the alternative is more time with his wife. Projections: 6-2/3.35/1.09/79
62. Hisashi Iwakuma – Hisashi my dashi — slurp SLURP! Projections: 7-3/3.12/1.02/75
63. Mark Trumbo – Due to his foot unable to handle the pressure of not being a hand– *intern whispers in my ear* I’m told a stress fracture has nothing to do with stress. Well, Trumbo’s back, hopefully he stays that way and hits some damn homers because I own him in more leagues than I want to admit to. Projections: 32/14/38/.254/1
64. Julio Teheran – After his final two games of the half, I’m worried that The Regression Fairies are going to redecorate his ratios. Projections: 6-3/3.30/1.12/77
65. Alex Cobb – In the preseason, I predicted Cobb would throw a no-hitter on July 18th. I also predicted Cobb would be a top 15 starter, so it would be odd if the powers that be in this tangled little universe we call earth were to give me the no-hitter and not the top 15 prediction. Here’s to both happening in the 2nd half! In all seriousness, he’s exactly the same pitcher he was last year when he had a 2.76 ERA, except this year he’s actually throwing harder. Just some bad luck. Projections: 5-4/3.35/1.18/72
66. Homer Bailey – What a motley crew of pitchers in this little sub-section of the rankings. Or as the Motley Crue fantasy baseball song goes, Four girl readers, four girl readers, four girl readers. Here’s to BABIPs and xFIPs and other made-up acronyms by guys in their mothers’ basements coming to fruition, and Bailey coming around. Projections: 5-4/3.27/1.17/74
67. Kenley Jansen – The flip side of the SAGNOF situation is Kenley is worth nothing if you don’t need saves. In a league where I was in first with saves by a healthy amount, I would trade Kenley for, say, Wright even though Wright’s ranked way after him. Continued in next blurb. Projections: 2-1/2.08/1.02/40, 15 saves
68. Greg Holland – In the reverse scenario, if you need saves, I’d trade a top 50 guy for a closer. Of course, it is always ideal to trade two pieces for a few junky closers. Continued in next blurb. Projections: 2-2/1.95/0.97/41, 13 saves
69. Glen Perkins – I don’t really have anything to add on the SAGNOF front. Continued in the next blurb. Projections: 1-1/2.20/1.01/33, 14 saves
70. Koji Uehara – If I had nothing on the SAGNOF front for last guy, why would I have anything for this guy? Projections: 3-1/2.05/0.89/30, 13 saves
71. Kyle Seager – As many of you know, I put money down in Vegas for the Mariners to win the World Series. First time I’ve ever bet on baseball….Well, except for betting 358,000 man hours a year on fantasy. Go M’s! Projections: 29/10/41/.269/3
72. Gregory Polanco – Hello, world, Polanco is taking you over. What? You don’t want to be taken over? Aw, too bad! As I said prior to him being called up, he’s Marte with a better average. He’s on pace for a 15/30/.260 season in 162 games. The .260 could go up to .300, whether that happens this year is hard to say due to the fickle nature of batting average. Projections: 38/4/21/.282/12
73. George Springer – If you remove his name from his stats, he’s probably less valuable than, say, Werth, but there his name is and the possibility of more. No one wants to drive the reliable Buick when the Mitsushitty convertible is calling your name. Projections: 29/10/35/.230/4
74. Buster Posey – I think the Royal We finally has landed on the proper value for Posey. Not amazing, not terrible. Hey, you don’t have to wear that Burger King cardboard crown to be part of the Royal We. Projections: 35/8/42/.282
75. David Wright – If he would’ve embraced the love of a good Cougar, I guarantee you he wouldn’t be ranked this low. Or ever have to do laundry or dishes. Or ever get stumped on 1960’s trivia. He would have to watch The View though. And explain acronyms like NSFW and what Twitter is. Projections: 39/8/40/.298/5
76. Trevor Rosenthal – So, a little insight about the rankings. I rank everyone then go back and write the blurbs. Coming upon Rosenthal here with no closers around him, I feel like I just befriended a lost child in a grocery store. Why’s he by himself? Don’t worry, Rosenthal, we’ll find your mom. Projections: 2-2/2.79/1.12/40, 14 saves
77. Khris Davis – Maybe the universe can only give something positive to one Khris/Chris Davis at once. Maybe that’s why there’s a Gray Albright that is a millionaire married to a supermodel. But does that supermodel know 1960’s trivia? Projections: 32/13/38/.282/2
78. Matt Adams – Fun fact! Adams once asked his health teacher if donuts were a source of protein. Then asked, “Are you sure? Nuts are in the name,” and then asked that five more times until he cried, screaming, “Liar!” Projections: 30/11/35/.305/2
79. Pablo Sandoval – Is it me or did this post suddenly get fat? Projections: 36/12/36/.284
80. Adrian Gonzalez – I told you to sell him in early April. Of course, in that same post I also told you to buy Wil Myers. *slowly walks out of this blurb, steps on a rake* Ow! *turns around and steps on another rake* Ow! *turns again, another rake* Ow! Projections: 33/9/40/.265
81. Manny Machado – Macho, macho, Machado! Projections: 39/7/29/.282/5
82. Matt Kemp – He’s been a green shade of puke this year, but he could get smoking hot and be a top 20 hitter for two months. Projections: 37/12/35/.271/2
83. Jayson Werth – Probably wouldn’t be in this top 100 if not for his last two weeks, but it goes to show you how quickly things can change. Mercurial, I’ll tell ya. Mercurial! Damn, thought I might win some kind of prize for using mercurial twice in five words. No ceiling balloon drop this time. Projections: 40/9/32/.287/3
84. Eric Hosmer – It’s funny how the rankings of certain players that send up the biggest red flags are ones that we didn’t even question in the preseason. Hosmer doesn’t seem to make sense here like he did in the preseason, but I can’t help feel like he can continue his hot hitting in the 2nd half (hitting over .400 in July). I also may just be a sucker for at least one Royal hitter every rankings post, and Mostasuckass is sitting this one out. Projections: 36/8/38/.280/4
85. Alexei Ramirez – The Cuban Missile definitely had a much better April than any other month or any other April in his career. I wonder if Mrs. Missile screaming at him to get out of the house had anything to do with it. She’s one tactical balls-seeking Missile. Projections: 33/7/30/.279/10
86. Brett Gardner – Mr. Gardner planted the seeds in the spring for a bountiful summer, and now he’s reaping those rewards. And he’s not taking any jive from any Western Union messenger. Projections: 39/5/23/.271/12
87. Cliff Lee – The Adverb will return on July 21st. At which point, the Comatose Phillies Fan will wake and wonder why Ryan Howard is using a walker with bowling balls on the legs. Projections: 5-2/2.89/1.08/54
88. Alex Rios – I just went over why you should sell Rios. I wrote it while wondering if the spooky kid across the street from me has the Shining. Projections: 34/7/30/.291/12
89. Anthony Rendon – The trouble with 2nd half rankings: if you were to take two-thirds of their current numbers that got them ranked in the top 100 in the first half, you’re looking at numbers that could be found off of waivers in shallower leagues. If Rendon does exactly what he did in the first half prorated, it’s 8 homers, 5 steals. Solid, I suppose, but Arismendy could do that. Or more. And you thought I’d get through the whole post without mentioning Arismendy. Puh-leez. Projections: 36/7/33/.282/5
90. Torii Hunter – You’ll notice a different Zombino didn’t make it in the top 100. Which one? I’ll give you a hint: Victor Martinez. No, not Jason Giambi. My hint was his actual name. Projections: 33/8/38/.283/3
91. Josh Hamilton – He’s one of those guys that could be a top ten player for two months. Granted, he hasn’t been that guy in about two years. Projections: 31/9/37/.262/3
92. Dustin Pedroia – I like to believe there was some sort of coronation when Pedroia okayed Altuve passing him in the 2nd basemen rankings. I like to believe that coronation took place inside a doll house. Projections: 35/6/38/.295/5
93. Starlin Castro – Rudy mentioned over IM he was surprised that I didn’t nail the Castro bounce back in the preseason since I have a degree in Saberhagenmetrics from the College of Fantasy Baseball at Charleston. Castro falls into that category of player that fails to excite me: good average, not huge power or speed. Think my meh-ness on Daniel Murphy. Projections: 30/7/39/.282/3
94. Carlos Santana – Yeah, doode was straight garbage on the sun with a giant mirror reflecting more sun on him, but I don’t buy any real skills deterioration for Chuck Santana. Projections: 33/12/39/.252/2
95. Melky Cabrera – When are Melky and Coco Crisp going to realize they are long-lost cousins? Projections: 44/8/29/.282/3
96. Scott Kazmir – Prior to Zimmermann’s biceps strain on the final weekend of the 1st half, he was ranked here. Too bad, so sad. I didn’t want to rank Kazmir at all, because I can’t imagine he stays healthy for another whole half of a season, but his first half deserves it. Projections: 5-3/3.05/1.19/60
97. Garrett Richards – I could’ve put here Odorizzi or Samardzija or Hammel or Sonny Gray or Tyson Ross or Ryu or Samardzija and then everyone would’ve said you listed Samardzija twice and you forgot so-and-so. Well, so-and-so can be just as good, but there’s only so much room and I just kinda did mention them by listing them. Richards has been crazy solid in the 1st half with a 2.55 ERA and a 9+ K/9, and aside from homers, isn’t getting all that lucky. Projections: 7-3/3.42/1.18/86
98. Matt Holliday – Maybe in the 2nd half we’ll get Matt Working or, at least Matt Staycation. This Three-Month Holliday just ain’t cutting it. Projections: 39/8/40/.284/3
99. Joey Votto – How I ended up with this ranking for Votto? I went through every player above him and said, “(This player) or Votto?” That took me about two weeks and Votto got hurt again three more times while I was going through it. I don’t think we’re going to see anything from Votto this year, and a guy like Alcides Escobar, for instance, who isn’t ranked will probably give more value than Votto, but there’s some upside here, so I ranked him. Projections: 28/7/33/.292
100. Charlie Blackmon – Here’s one way to use this list. Look at our Player Rater (what guys have done) vs. where I have them ranked. Or you could look at the Buysellatops that compares player’s values from what they have done to what they should do. Or look at the Stream-o-Nator and stop getting bogged down in whether you should own that last fantasy starter. Or look at the Hitter-Tron and stop worrying about if you should have Austin Jackson on your team, but, if you use the Hitter-Tron, then you might have to worry about why there’s some sticky, milky substance on the top of your toaster. Projections: 42/6/29/.279/7