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With the 2014 fantasy baseball rankings for every position done, we turn our lazy eye towards the top 100 for 2014 fantasy baseball.  These 2014 fantasy baseball rankings are one part fresh and two parts to def.  They own a cat, a dog and a lizard in a two bedroom apartment where pets aren’t allowed.  Know why?  Cause they don’t care!  None of this top 100 for 2014 fantasy baseball is meant to surprise.  *jumping out of a closet*  Boo!  Now, that was meant to surprise.  This top 100 is just taking my positional rankings and putting guys in The Big Picture.  You really should read each ranking post because the blurbs in this top 100 are on the skimpy side because there’s so many of them, and I went over each one of these guys already.  Obviously at a hundred players, some guys just didn’t make it.  About 300, to be inexact.  It’s okay; there will be a top 400 tomorrow.  Shortly, Sloth, you’ll have your Baby Ruth.  Not to get all biblical on you, but this is the gospel.  Print it out and take it to Mt. Sinai and it will say, “Win your 2014 fantasy baseball league, young prematurely balding man.”  Projections were done by me and a crack team of 100 monkeys fighting amongst themselves because there were only 99 typewriters.  Somebody please buy Ling-Ling his own typewriter!  To help with your drafting, there’s also a list of players with multiple position eligibility.  Anyway, here’s the top 100 for 2014 fantasy baseball:

1. Mike Trout – I’ve never owned Miggy and will probably say the same about Trout in seven years.  Stupid auction leagues and $50 bidding.  By the by, I’m not sure how many of you read this far — probably 2% — but auction values will be in the top 400.  As the 90’s porn title says, things that make you go boing.  2014 Projections:  115/30/102/.319/35

2. Miguel Cabrera – I bet I’ll get a chance to own Miggy the year he finally falls apart.  It’s Daniel Murphy’s Law.  The adage that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong while scoring 80+ runs with no power.  2014 Projections:  97/36/112/.319/2

3. Paul Goldschmidt – I wonder if my love affair with Au Shizz will get Giancarlo jealous and push him to play 162 games and hit 50+ homers.  Or if Giancarlo will just send me a bittersweet emoji and we’ll laugh about it later while laying by the fireplace on a bear skin rug.  2014 Projections: 92/34/110/.295/11

4. Andrew McCutchen – Just a word about this top 100 before we get too deep into it.  I went over my thoughts about every player in their positional rankings.  McCutchen is in the top 10 for 2014 fantasy baseball.  I’m not going to repeat myself.  This post will be mostly about drafting of the players in a general sense.  That’s not General Sensei, who committed seppuku in 1946.  2014 Projections:  91/25/94/.320/24

5. Adam Jones – I’d be more than happy to get Jones 5th overall, but I do get the sense that you can probably draft him as late as 12 to 15th overall.  I will say it was a lot nicer last year when I was able to get Cano, Jones and Goldschmidt in the first three rounds.  That’s the problem with being ahead of the curve, it comes back to get you in the end — that’s what she said!  2014 Projections:  94/32/105/.282/15

6. Robinson Cano – Went over my Robinson Cano fantasy when he took the money and ran to Seattle.  Hoping his time in Seattle doesn’t end with Stephen slapping him and throwing his teddy bear into the water.  2014 Projections:  84/26/105/.312/4

7. Prince Fielder – Went over my Prince Fielder fantasy when he went to the Rangers.  I wrote it high on ‘ludes.  2014 Projections: 89/33/108/.282/1

8. Carlos Gonzalez – CarGo + 162 games = That old guy who lives next door that calls you Buddy Boy.  Hmm, my math is wrong there.  Supposed to equal the most valuable fantasy player.  2014 Projections:  91/28/92/.307/20

9. Chris Davis – I was very close to dropping Davis further down, but ‘capable of 50+ homers’ gets you in the top ten.  For those wondering about Davis vs. Fielder.  Fielder will hit for a higher average, get more RBIs and runs.   Davis will hit more homers, but he needs to hit 10+ for me to flip-flop them and I just don’t buy we see another year from Davis like we just did.  Honestly — like Grey Albright would lie to you — I think I’m being generous with my Davis projections.  2014 Projections:  83/39/104/.259/3

10. Bryce Harper – This will be the last time you’ll be able to draft Harper without using a top 5 draft pick.  Bible.  2014 Projections:  86/29/101/.291/17

11. Evan Longoria – I participated in a ‘pert mock draft where Matt Carpenter went before Longoria.  Sure, it was by Brad Evans, but still it shows a few things A) You can get Longoria a bit later in some drafts if you wait. B) The Noise is hitting the sauce. C) There’s no C.  2014 Projections:  96/31/103/.273/3

12. Albert Pujols – Bit surprised by the early returns on drafting to see Pujols so low.  Last year was the first year he missed significant time and was still on his way to 30+ homers and 100 RBIs+.  With plantar fascitis behind him (under him?), he should be able to cruise to a productive year or Arte Moreno’s going to be eating Chef Boyardee out of his gold-plated bowls.  2014 Projections:  90/30/104/.277/4

13. Joey Votto – I’d be thrilled to get Votto 13th overall.  In fact, I hung balloons from my rafters to release when I do get Votto 13th overall to capture the moment.  2014 Projections:  89/26/102/.309/7

14. Jose Bautista – He’s basically Giancarlo’s power without the Triple-A lineup around him.  *seeing Rafael Furcal on top of the Marlins lineup*  Excuse me, the AARP-led lineup.  The Marlins:  the best team that money found in a homeless person’s pocket can buy!  2014 Projections:  85/35/100/.255/5

15. Ryan Braun – The Hebrew Hammer will be on a Yom Kippur-inspired journey where he puts the repent in resplendent and drops a D in amens.  2014 Projections: 88/24/94/.280/15

16. Hanley Ramirez – Been seeing him drafted way before this slot.  How quick the world forgets about his two good, but not great years previously and how he didn’t even stay healthy in 2013.  I smell an overrated post on the horizon.  2014 Projections:  87/25/94/.272/18

17. Adrian Beltre – He’s due for a season-ending injury in June and a disappointing year.  That’s a reverse jinx.  If I don’t draft him this year, I will do my best to reverse reverse jinx that.  2014 Projections:  85/31/104/.303/1

18. Edwin Encarnacion – I do have a pit in my stomach that if I finally own Encarnacion, he’s going to disappoint, but he’s done nothing recently to substantiate those fears.  FTE!   That’s ‘For The Edwin.’  2014 Projections:  87/32/97/.269/7

19. Yasiel Puig – There will be no pig-inspired puns this year as long as he hits.  Pweega, please!  2014 Projections:  90/28/94/.285/20

20. Jay Bruce – May all your teams have Bruce this year and may you be out of the country when he’s in one of his 1-for-56 skids.  2014 Projections:  95/34/112/.272/7

21. Clayton Kershaw – The first pitcher off the board and only about eighteen spots after his ADP.  Yeah, you’re not gonna own Kershaw this year.  It’s all right; there’s only about sixty-five other pitchers to own.  2014 Projections:  17-6/2.65/1.03/222

22. Troy Tulowitzki – The funniest is when I tell people to sell him in July after his 15-homer month and his owners are outraged that I’d consider him a candidate for an injury.  Outraged, I tell ya.  2014 Projections:  81/27/92/.305/2

23. Giancarlo Stanton – I don’t think I’ve had Stanton this low since his rookie year and even then we shared a milkshake and by ‘milkshake’ I mean sex and by ‘shared’ I mean I watched him undress through binoculars.  He’s capable of 40+ homers, but I need to see better health before I pull a Helen Keller and turn a blind eye to his last two years.  2014 Projections:  79/36/89/.264/4

24. Yu Darvish – Here’s the good news.  There’s a lot of guys to choose from in my 3rd round.  The bad news is some of these guys might be off the board already.  See, all 3rd rounds aren’t created equal.  No matter how many times Ron Shandler marches in Washington.  2014 Projections: 17-10/2.78/1.11/238

25. Freddie Freeman – I’m looking forward to owning Freeman on at least one team this year.  That’s half to do with Freeman and half to do with not wanting to trust my 1st base slot to Eric Hosmer.  2014 Projections:  85/25/102/.288/2

26. Justin Upton – The Upton Bros. had a worse 2013 than The Mario Bros.  (Mario Joyner and Mario Lopez; they’re brothers from different mothers.)  2014 Projections:  88/25/79/.270/12

27. David Wright – I’m guessing he’s gonna go slightly earlier than I’m gonna take him.  I’m okay with that, and not just because he dissed Cougar Life.  I don’t really trust him completely to reach my projections.  The one SNAFU in all this is 3rd base is fugly with a capital FU.  2014 Projections:  84/22/93/.303/15

28. Jean Segura – Damn, 2013 was such a great year for my rankings and projections it has really screwed me up this year.  I want Segura to be ranked 140-something again!  2014 Projections:  84/10/51/.287/40

29. Alex Rios – The River Alex gets no respect and I’m not sure there’s a fully formed reason.  I think it’s because he makes it seem so effortless it comes off as insouciance.  No one wants to be around someone who’s indifferent, no matter what Neil Strauss says.  River was the 7th best outfielder last year and has produced similar numbers four of the last five years and five for the last seven.  It’s conceivable that I will have drafted three Rangers leaving the 4th round, which I’m not against.  2014 Projections:  91/17/74/.284/30

30. Jacoby Ellsbury – I picture someone else drafting Ellsbury before I get to him.  That picture has me photobombing it.  For further reading on the subject, my Jacoby Ellsbury fantasy.  2014 Projections:  98/13/57/.279/32

31. Felix Hernandez – I’m sure you’ll be tempted to draft F-Her, but there’s a ton of pitching.  This is a trust exercise, you need to close your eyes and wait a few more rounds for a pitcher.  2014 Projections: 16-4/2.82/1.10/224

32. Max Scherzer – We’ll get him next year when he has a 3.50 ERA and a 3.35 xFIP.  Until then, we’ll watch him from 500 feet away.  2014 Projections:  17-8/3.01/1.12/232

33. Jason Kipnis – His projections look like he could be a lot higher but I just can’t move him up as long as he does a number two for half a season.  Maybe this is the year he puts together six months of solid hitting.  Maybe it’s the year that he struggles in the 1st half like he does in the 2nd.  Maybe instead of chewing gum, you chew bacon.  2014 Projections:  90/19/92/.269/27

34. Dustin Pedroia – If your league has a category for Being Able To See The Dust Under The Counter’s Ledge, Pedroia gets a small bump in value.  2014 Projections: 93/14/89/.298/18

35. Ryan Zimmerman – To pick up with what I said in the Wright blurb — go refresh your memory by rereading Wright’s blurb and then come back; good, but you sure did take a while, did you also go to the bathroom? — 3rd base is a mess.  But it’s only a complete mess early on.  It’s deep later.  Check out the top 20 3rd basemen for 2014 fantasy baseball for further discussion.  I don’t necessarily want, say, Sandoval, but you can draft him sometime around pick 120 after not being able to get him after pick 60 for some years.  So, just wait on 3rd base.  2014 Projections:  86/25/91/.279/4

36. Ian Desmond – I’m usually drafting outfielders around this point, but I could see mixing it up this year and grabbing a shortstop.  A part of me is worried that could come back to bite me and it could have rabies and then I get crazy eyes and a grow a shaggy beard which totally obscures the luster of my ‘stache.  2014 Projections:  71/20/87/.271/17

37. Stephen Strasburg – Stay strong and draft another hitter, even though we both know Strasburg will probably be a top 20 pick next year.  2014 Projections:  16-7/2.79/1.04/202

38. Adam Wainwright – Last year was the time to draft Wainwright; you missed out on him.  It’s okay, this is the year to draft Teheran.  Then next year Teheran will be undraftable and Porcello will be draftable.  Draft for the current year not the one that just passed.  2014 Projections:  17-10/2.88/1.05/204

39. Shin-Soo Choo – Went over my Shin-Soo Choo fantasy.  I wrote it while fulfilling my obligation to the South Korean military.  2014 Projections:  101/20/59/.277/20

40. Elvis Andrus – Okay, maybe I’ll have six Rangers in the first five rounds.  I’m not even sure how that will work, but I know that during the year I’m going to be screaming at my TV for Ron Washington to stop doing so much coke and start running his baserunners.  2014 Projections:  93/7/70/.279/34

41. Ian Kinsler – My usual modus operandi, as they say in Latin America, is to draft a 2nd baseman early and a shortstop late.  That was in previous years when shortstop was shallow and 2nd base was deeper — yes, I draft against position scarcity.  I’m leaning towards getting a shortstop early this year, but I’ll take only one middle infielder early, whether it’s 2nd base or shortstop doesn’t really matter.  If I get, say, Segura, I won’t be drafting Kinsler.  2014 Projections:  103/16/74/.269/17

42. Jose Reyes – Capable of a bounce back, but betting on a 30-year-old, injury-prone speedster isn’t necessarily the best way to go.  I’m hoping to get Segura, Desmond or Andrus and be done with shortstops until much later for an MI.  Or as Julie Andrews would say, an MI is a name I call my middle infielder.  2014 Projections:  87/13/56/.288/25

43. Madison Bumgarner – Check your stock portfolio and see how much money you lost today.  It’ll be more productive than drafting an early starter.  2014 Projections:  16-10/2.91/1.09/201

44. Cliff Lee – I get the feeling that The Adverb will be on one of our teams this year…Because Rudy will be drafting that team.  2014 Projections:  15-10/3.12/1.07/205

45. Justin Verlander – There’s a chance he could continue to decline, so let someone else draft him and see if it happens.  2014 Projections:  16-9/3.05/1.09/224

46.  Eric Hosmer – I’m thoroughly concerned about my ranking of Hosmer.  It feels wrong.  It feels like he’s going to disappoint.  Because I’m going on my gut and I have serious gas, I’m going to leave him here but I’m praying that I have a 1st baseman by this point and will wait until around Rizzo for a corner man.  2014 Projections:  89/18/98/.305/14

47. Wil Myers – At the end of last year, I said that due to Myers’s hitting, he had made his way into the 80’s for ADP in 2014.  Well, I underestimated how much he was going to swoon February Grey.  2014 Projections:  78/25/90/.271/10

48. Starling Marte – In the off-off-off-Broadway production of The Silence of the Lambo, Andrew Lambo will be hunted by Starling after Lambo eats into Jose Tabata’s playing time.  Critics called it a tour de farce, but admitted to sleeping through the 2nd act.  2014 Projections:  91/15/40/.259/30

49. Alex Gordon – This guy is kinda lucky.  On a different team — a better team with better depth — he probably would’ve been relegated to a 4th outfielder years ago.  That’s at least what the angel Clarence showed Gordon when he was standing on a bridge.  Did you know every time a bell rings a Royals prospect gets his wings and is traded away?  2014 Projections:  84/23/92/.282/12

50. Carlos Gomez – Imagine if you draft Carlos Gonzalez and Carlos Gomez, the fun you could have with your team name!  CarGoes?  CarDeux?  Two Carloses Garage?  Okay, maybe not that much fun.  2014 Projections:  84/22/71/.259/35

51. Jose Fernandez – Now, reach down and remove the starting pitcher condom that you’ve been wearing for the first four rounds and make love to the starters.  But only one.  Show some restraint, you horn dog.  Continued in the next blurb.  2014 Projections:  12-5/2.70/1.06/207

52. Chris Sale – Fernandez will probably be gone, and if you feel weak still on hitting, don’t be afraid to skip this group of pitchers either.  There will still be a ton of pitchers to take as your first one off the board.  Let’s take this to the next blurb.  2014 Projections:  12-9/2.89/1.09/217

53. Anibal Sanchez – Actually, that was all I had to say on that.  I will give you a whole ‘nother post on how to draft your rotation.  Not to fear, over-the-internet friend.  2014 Projections:  15-10/3.04/1.14/206

54. Alex Cobb – This guy will be here for all the world to draft if you follow my rankings.  In fact, you can probably wait four rounds and still get him.  Someone is k-i-s-s-i-n-g’ing Alex Cobb in a tree and that’ll be EM-E-I-N-G.  2014 Projections:  15-6/2.96/1.09/189

55. Hisashi Iwakuma – I was at a ramen place near my house the other day and I swear to God I heard someone saying, “Hisashi my dashi — slurp SLURP!”  It’s sweeping the nation!  UPDATE:  Iwakuma found a strained tendon in his hand rather than his soup and he will miss time.  2014 Projections:  10-6/3.59/1.10/145

56. Josh Donaldson – Reasonable price to pay for Donaldson here, but I’m going for my first pitcher or another hitter around this point and am waiting on 3rd basemen until after the top 100.  2014 Projections:  74/19/80/.290/4

57. Hunter Pence – Member when Hunter Pence was a 20-ish homer, 12-ish steal guy?  You should since that’s what he currently is.  2014 Projections:  83/24/90/.262/12

58. Homer Bailey – We’re still firmly in a place where I’m drafting my first starter.  Do I worry that my ‘ace’ will be Homer Bailey?  A bit, but then my second pitcher will be Gerrit Cole, Sonny Gray or Danny Salazar and I just slipped into a bath filled with Calgon.  2014 Projections: 16-4/3.14/1.09/201

59. Julio Teheran – I imagine I’m gonna have a lot of teams with Cobb and Teheran, which doesn’t completely make sense if you follow my rankings and how I say you don’t want too much pitching, but at a certain point guys become bargains and Cobb and Teheran are not going to be drafted this high in most leagues.  When Teheran or Cobb are still around in the 100’s, then I pounce again.  2014 Projections:  15-7/3.12/1.15/191

60. Anthony Rizzo – You probably have one pitcher by this point and now I’m fine with you filling your corner infidel slot.  I already went over my Anthony Rizzo sleeper.  2014 Projections:  82/28/92/.256/8

61. Adrian Gonzalez – Something’s telling you that A-Gon is going to give a lot more value than this ranking.  That same intuition tells you not to throw out your parachute pants because they could come back into fashion.  2014 Projections:  86/20/94/.285/1

62. Mark Trumbo – Went over my Mark Trumbo fantasy after he ended up in Arizona, where they let him past through their statewide fence.  2014 Projections:  74/33/89/.244/5

63. Jose Abreu – Went over my Jose Abreu fantasy.  It was ghostwritten by his father, Bobby Abreu.  2014 Projections:  78/26/88/.268/2

64. David Price – Here’s a small sub-section of pitchers that you’re gonna ignore if they’re there (stutterer!) and hopefully they’ve been drafted already.  At this point, you should have one pitcher anyway, so these guys are redundant.  2014 Projections:  16-10/3.26/1.11/176

65. Zack Greinke – See 1/18th of an inch above or Price, David.  2014 Projections:  16-8/3.34/1.17/173

66. Matt Moore – See 1/18th of an inch above and follow directions from there.  If you’re bouncing back-and-forth in a never-ending circle of blurbs of Price, Greinke and Moore, don’t forget to drink water, someone will be by soon to rescue you.  2014 Projections:  12-9/3.69/1.29/187

67. Carlos Beltran – Last year, he Zombino’d until about June then his year took a dive like his doppelganger’s last fifteen years.  “Hey, Claire, this is Ricky, Ricky from My So-Called Life.  Yeah, I was thinking, with your baby daddy dead on Homeland, they could write me in as the live-in nanny.  Claire?  Oh, I got your number from the phone book.”  That’s Beltran’s doppelganger trying to revive his career.  2014 Projections:  78/24/88/.279/5

68. Gio Gonzalez – Wow, his projections look good.  What was I thinking when I wrote up the top 20 starters for 2014 fantasy baseball?  Oh, I remember now.  Pitching is deeper than Octomom’s birth canal.  2014 Projections:  16-9/3.28/1.19/202

69. Matt Holliday – Did he make the top 20 outfielders for 2014 fantasy baseball or did he get relegated to the top 40 for 2014 fantasy baseball?  /wonky linkage done.  2014 Projections:  93/22/101/.292/5

70. Francisco Liriano – I’ve totally bought into the resurgence of Fran-Liri.  Wow, that’s about the weakest nickname since Joe Charboneau went by The Charboner.  2014 Projections:  14-9/3.24/1.25/188

71. Mike Minor – Like Maddux and Glavine this year, maybe in 25 years Mike Minor will get into the Hall of Fame with Julio Teheran.  Or not.  We’ll never know.  Stupid aliens invading in 2017.  2014 Projections:  15-10/3.47/1.11/187

72. David Ortiz – Note to self:  Check eligibility for Ortiz and Butler.  Note to self II:  Erase the first note to self.  2014 Projections:  77/26/81/.278/2

73. Billy Butler – Fun fact!  Billy Butler sells a BBQ sauce, it’s called Moob Lube.  2014 Projections:  81/22/91/.294/1

74. Mat Latos – We should call him by his Asian name Matt Laos.  2014 Projections: 16-10/3.38/1.19/186

75. Jordan Zimmermann – Usually I stick to pitchers with a high K-rate, but you’d take the clothes off my back and I’d let you.  You’d steal the food right out of my mouth and I’d watch you eat it.  I still don’t know why, why I love him so much, J-Z.  2014 Projections:  14-8/3.31/1.14/168

76. Michael Cuddyer – You know what they call someone who’s looking for potassium and then chokes on a banana?  A K-dyer.  Take it, Highlights, it’s yours!  2014 Projections:  70/21/81/.284/10

77. Allen Craig – Last chance for a corner man without having to resort to upside….Though that appears gorgeous in its brochures:  The Upside Resort, where all your dreams will come true, until you actually get there.  2014 Projections:  75/19/91/.310/3

78. Jayson Werth – FWIWerth, I don’t really want Werth.  He’ll probably be fine, but I’m going to be figuring out my corner slot or a starter at this point in the draft.  2014 Projections:  72/22/88/.279/10

79. Josh Hamilton – Yes, outfield is deep if you’re wearing 2012 blinders, but remember if you owned Josh Hamilton, Matt Kemp and Heyward on the same team last year, you lost miserably.  2014 Projections:  78/24/89/.269/7

80. Billy Hamilton – I went into ranking him here hoping he was high enough that I’d have a chance to get him, but I just took part in a mock with some ‘perts and he went 37th overall, so I ain’t getting him.  Here’s my Billy Hamilton fantasy.  2014 Projections:  73/2/28/.250/67

81. Matt Kemp – I could see a situation where he’s staring at me this late and I might not pull the trigger, but at a certain point it does become worthwhile to draft him.  2014 Projections:  71/22/76/.266/10

82. Jason Heyward – I half buried these guys and half left them where I might have a chance to draft them.  I’m like Benson’s tobacco partner, Hedges.  2014 Projections: 83/19/69/.273/10

83. Yoenis Cespedes – Yoenis rounds off the tier within this top 100 that you want to rebound.  Due to where they’re ranked elsewhere, Yoenis is (almost stutterer!) probably the only one I could get, but we’ll see.  Or not.  Your choice.  2014 Projections:  70/25/85/.255/10

84. Jose Altuve – Be interesting to see if he can beat Eddie Gaedel’s record of 476 steps to get to first base.  2014 Projections:  80/8/63/.292/33

85. Craig Kimbrel – There’s no chance I’m drafting a top closer.  I don’t roll with $12 Salads.  There’s too many donkeycorns to get caught up in that.  If you understood the preceding sentences, thanks for being a longtime reader!  You get a cookie*.  *You don’t get a cookie.  2014 Projections:  6-2/2.03/0.91/92, 48 saves

86. Aroldis Chapman – Love me some Aroldis, but nothing’s changed since Kimbrel’s blurb.  Kimbrel’s Blurb was also my middle school band.  You might remember our top 40 hit, “Hoes Want Me For My Lunch Money.”  2014 Projections:  6-3/2.32/1.07/106, 46 saves

87. Kenley Jansen –  By the by, I want to own Aroldis, Kimbrel and Jansen just like you want to own them.  They’re all dynamite.  I feel the same pangs when drafting.  I just don’t give into my impulses.  When drafting, you’re like Cowboy Jon from The Real World: Los Angeles and $12 Salads are sex.  Also, I didn’t do a top 20 closers because Smokey ranks all the closers on the reg and closers are constantly moving in ranks, so it felt unnecessary.  I did rank and project all of them in my top 400 that’s coming tomorrow.  2014 Projections:  4-3/2.23/0.97/103, 39 saves

88. Jedd Gyorko – Here’s where I’m aiming my 2nd base cross hairs and here’s my Jedd Gyorko sleeper post.  It’s a doozy to end all doozies.  2014 Projections:  68/27/74/.259/2

89. Ben Zobrist – Burp.  I’ll draft him, but I’m hoping I already have Gyorko.  2014 Projections:  79/14/70/.268/14

90. Aaron Hill – I want Aaron Hill on every team, which could get complicated if I already have Gyorko.  If Hill’s ADP comes back much lower than this, I will be writing a sleeper post about how I want to sleep with him.  Wait, what?  No, that’s right.  2014 Projections:  77/18/72/.281/9

91. Wilin Rosario – These next three guys should be sufficiently buried in my rankings.  If they’re not, drop them down another 50 spots.  Don’t draft a top catcher is written on a fortune that I carry around in my wallet (where money is supposed to be; try paying for something with that shizz!).  2014 Projections:  69/24/82/.272/4

92. Buster Posey – Check out what I’m about to write for Carlos Santana.  2014 Projections:  70/20/88/.308/2

93. Carlos Santana – Stop putting so much pressure on me Buster Posey’s blurb!  2014 Projections:  79/23/85/.260/3

94. Brandon Phillips – If Phillips is here, I’d definitely draft him, but I could totally see a scenario where after I draft him, Sonny Gray is then immediately drafted and I jump out my window.  Luckily I live on the first floor, which you knew, stalker!  2014 Projections: 79/17/86/.269/6

95. Matt Cain – He’ll either check the falling rates at the door and stop the decline or he’ll be Lincecum next year.  Not as in he’ll move to Colorado and upstairs from a weed dispensary, as in he’ll drop lower in the rankings again.  2014 Projections:  14-11/3.49/1.15/179

96. James Shields – I don’t hate Shields, but I like Fister a lot (I bet!) and may go into the rankings and flip-flop them as soon as I’ve posted my top 400.  Yes, I periodically change little things in the rankings right through the end of March.  2014 Projections:  14-10/3.47/1.22/193

97. Doug Fister – I want Fister on every team…and Masterson…and Cole…and Gray…Geezus, there’s a ton of pitchers.  To read more about Fister, see the top 40 starters for 2014 fantasy baseball.  2014 Projections:  13-9/3.33/1.22/164

98. Pedro Alvarez – 3rd base is a damn mess.  There’s only four worthy 3rd base picks between 20 and 94.  *looking at all the 3rd basemen after the top 100*  Wait a second, it’s not a mess; there’s a ton of 3rd basemen after the top 100.  Wait on them, guys and four girl readers.  2014 Projections:  65/31/89/.237/2

99. Justin Masterson – I’m pretty sure he’ll get no love and you’ll be able to draft him about 50 picks after this.  If that’s the case, I could see grabbing Cole first, then Gray then Masterson.  Masterson is every bit worth this draft pick though.  2014 Projections:  12-10/3.51/1.22/191

100. Gerrit Cole – I would’ve wrote a Gerrit Cole sleeper post, but I don’t think he’s going to be a sleeper.  Once drafting is in full swing and I see different, you’ll get a post dedicated to Cole.  Mark my words!  Don’t mark them with permanent ink!  Now you’ve written on your computer screen.  2014 Projections:  14-9/3.18/1.12/191

101. Sonny Gray – I already gave you my Sonny Gray sleeper.  I would’ve ranked him 20th overall if I knew he was going to be drafted 19th.  That’s how real I am.  I am that real.  Damn, got caught in a Seussian Möbius strip.  Sorta like when an old person says to me, “Hey, sonny, Grey!” and I suddenly wanna make out with someone.  Maybe that’s how I ended up married to a Cougar. 2014 Projections: 13-7/3.32/1.17/195