Victor Martinez left the game after fouling the ball off his foot. Wanna know our trade luck? We just traded Jason Bay, Cervelli and Mike Gonzalez for V-Mart, Boesch and Desmond. Is this karma for punting catchers in so many leagues over the years? I hate you, fantasy baseball Gods. You smite my team while I give you love. I. Give. You. Love! Oh, bee tee dubya, V-Mart’s day-to-day. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Mike Cameron – Returning on Tuesday. Didn’t I already talk about this schomhawk? Oh, yeah, I did. (The “I did” link we lead you to the answer. If you ignore the answer, skip 7 pages ahead and slay the dragon.)
Adrian Beltre – 3-for-4, 1 RBI. If you would’ve popped your head out of a DeLorean in the preseason and told me at the end of May Adrian Beltre would be hitting .335, I would’ve told you he’s headed for fantasy MVP honors. Crazy how far his power has disappeared.
David Ortiz – Hit his eighth homer this month. I think the average will level off around .260, but the power seems to be back. He should be owned everywhere while he’s hitting.
Carlos Zambrano – Completed a simulated game. Hey, this weekend I threw a simulated 150 in Wii bowling. Eat it, Big Z, and the 15 foot baguette you rode in on!
Alfredo Simon – Headed to the DL with a bad hammy. Doesn’t Alfredo know that with ham it’s carbonara? A messy O’s bullpen just got messier. I grabbed Cla Meredith and Will Ohman, in that order. I grabbed both in some leagues where I had room. That means every run the O’s give up after the 7th inning will be all mine. Emphasis on “will.”
Wade Davis – 3 2/3 IP, 5 ER, 10 baserunners, 0 Ks. I told you to sell him in this Buy/Sell. Not because a lack of stuff. He’s just in a terrible division for matchups and he doesn’t go deep enough into games to get decisions. It’s kinda hard to sell a guy who’s only teetering on number four fantasy starter value, but he might push another trade you have over the top if you have a believer, or a Wadvocate, if you will. Obviously in keepers, you ignore the previous few sentences and continue to eat your breakfast.
Gordon Beckham – 2-for-4. You ever have a guy who you want to get sent down just so you can drop him? That’s how I’ve felt with Beckham in a 20 team league for about three weeks. Well, Beckham’s the spiting type. He’s now batting .500 over his last three games. It’s not incredible, but it’s something.
Bobby Jenks – Pitched a clean inning to avoid the Kazaam. On a side note, he covered first on one play and it looked like he just ran a marathon. He’s got Jenk in the trenk.
Andruw Jones – 1-for-4, now batting .239 and hasn’t hit a homer since May 5th. He sold his soul for a good April?
Justin Masterson – 4 IP, 5 ER, 11 baserunners, 0 Ks. I’m just going to assume he pissed off the Fangraphs Database and that’s why his xFIP and FIP are so out of line with his ERA.
Austin Kearns – Hitting third for the Indians tonight. Fitting since that team is going through a mother of growing pains.
Aaron Harang – 6 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners, 3 Ks. At 100 pitches, Harang was at 2 earned runs, then Dusty sent him out there for a third of an inning and two more runs. On the bright side, Dusty didn’t make him don a blonde wig and close out the game.
Roy Oswalt – Rumors swirl (clockwise or counterclockwise?) that the Nationals are interested in him. You know it’s a sad day in Houston when their franchise is so lost that they seem much more like the flash-sideways team than Washington. Must be because Desmond brought the Nats together.
Steve Phillips – The ex-Mets GM and ESPN talker blurted out that, if he was the Nats GM, he’d trade Strasburg for Oswalt. Surprising because you’d think Strasburg hangs around with younger, hotter girls than Oswalt.
Brett Cecil – 7 1/3 IP, 4 baserunners, 3 Ks. He usual strikes out more than he did in this game, but his season WHIP is 1.15 and ERA is 4.10. If you take away one start where he was pounded vs. the Rangers, he has an ERA of 2.53. He’s owned in only 5.9% of ESPN leagues. Zoinks!
Rafael Furcal – Oh-for-cal is returning today. If this is the guy you’ve been waiting for to ignite your team, you might need to reevaluate.
John Axford – He notched a save the other day, but it was because Villanueva was tired. I know what you’re thinking, why not have some *pinkie to mouth* Coffey? Yeah, oddly enough he was tired too. So the Brew Crew went with Axrod. Say that fast twelve hundred times! I don’t think Axrod’s worth owning right now outside of NL-Only leagues. The Brewers want Hoffman, Villanueva, Coffey and Axrod, in that order. Mostly, they just want Hoffman.
Miguel Cabrera – Missing the Tigers series for the birth of his kid. Crazy that Miguel Olivo wasn’t showing at all.
Steven Pearce – Was walking on crutches after the game. No, it’s not a new dance craze, he was hurt in the game. This should free up time for Clement again. Though he wasn’t doing anything with his playing time before but wasting it.
Andy LaRoche – Might end up on the DL. LaOuch for him, LaShouldn’tbeonyourteam for you. Could these injuries open up the gates for one of the Pirates prospects? Not a rhetorical. Seriously, could it? Wouldn’t that be exciting? My favorite fantasy baseball palate cleanser is rookie announce-mints.