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I’ve been alluding (Allusion Michael!) to how and when to panic in terms of your team the past few weeks in my little corner here on Saturday. But the time is now. Memorial weekend is the unofficial “official” period for me (I chose both, because I’m not sure either made sense, and I double down on not making sense), personally, to start acting out my general manager fantasies. Ooo baby, you know I love Andrew McCutchen as a buy-low. So while for the first month (and partly the second month of the season) I begged, pleaded, and cordially requested that you not do anything drastic to your rosters… I am now giving you permission to go buck wild. Yes, that’s correct, I have given you permission to be a deer. Makes a lot of sense. Hopefully you know what you need, so don’t be afraid to go and get it. If it was only that easy with dating. So as we take time this weekend, between relaxing and burning meat, to honor all the men and women, active, retired, and tragically lost while defending their county, in all the armed services, we should also take a moment today to get me some dates. And also to be a deer. And then trade for Andrew McCutchen. This is the weirdest to do list I’ve ever seen…

Follow me after the jump to take a look back at what was week four AND a look forward on all things Razzball, including some player suggestions for next week, straight from Razzball’s Streamonator, Hitter-Tron, and DFSBot!

 

This Past Week…

J-FOH had his regular Top-100 Hitters Rankings, which makes it sound like coffee. He also had the RCL Update, which sounds like he gave birth to it. This whole thing is falling apart before my eyes…

JB Gilpin was happy to have me on the Podcast, but I think it’s because Grey forced him after the other eight choices declined. I just sound happy because we talk about kimchi and The Fifth Element.  Gilpin also released his Top-100 Pitcher Rankings for the week.

RotoLance presupposed that Shawn Tolleson could be the next A.J. Ramos, to which I say, no way. I mean, they don’t even look alike. That’s totally part of it, right? Of becoming someone? It’s a joke about being literal people…

Big Magoo had his unique and chart-filled content focused on Marlon Byrd and Leonys Martin in Trash/Treasure, and then wondered what Adrian Beltre has in store for us in his Bear or Bull series.

Paul started to wonder what Daily Fantasy has done to all of us. Deep bro. Especially for an evil robot.

Mike focused his Prospect Profile on Wilmer Difo.

Smokey went over the Diamondbacks bullpen situation, which is really more of a tragedy.

Tehol went over his thoughts on Mad Max: Fury Road (soooo goooood) and Taijuan Walker getting sent to the same trash bin that Domonic Brown currently resides. The Elder Gods don’t sound merciful at all.

Malamoney went over Bryce Harper in Points Leagues, and we welcomed a new and wonderful contributor named Dave, who has your Deep Impact report ready to go on Chris Colabello.

 

Next Week…

The Streamonator really likes Henderson Alvarez next week, placing him as the 16th highest performing pitcher. But since he’s injured (oops!), you might want to go with Josh Collmentor, who’s completely unowned, but rated as the 19th best pitcher.

The Hitter-Tron has Brandon Belt as the 3rd best hitter next week. [Insert pants joke here.]

And be sure to check in everyday for our Daily Fantasy content, led by Sky and company. They’ve been bringing you all the tips and strategy you need to win that cash-monies. Our DFSBot is also there to help guide your way to that aforementioned cash-monies. Mmmm, cash-monies.

 

 

Want more of the Jay? Don’t we all folks? Don’t. We. All. Well, you, in fact, can have more. AMAZING. I know. You can find Jay enjoying his dig’s over at the Football side of Razz.