With 4 homers for Kelly Johnson, there’s still the Kelly Ka-POW, see? With the 6 steals, he’s still running. If you extrapolate those numbers out, it’s a 20/20 season. If extrapolate is the right word. From radio, to the video, to Arsenio… Tell me! Yo, what’s the best case scenario for Johnson? Last yeario, Phife Dawg. That’s not happening this year though. This is what currently is happening. His balls batted into play are showing he’s been unlucky, so he’s pressing and his Ks have gone up and walks have gone down. If a couple balls fall in front of fielders and Johnson gets on base, his confidence will rise and he’ll start being more selective at the plate. His average will then rise and he’ll continue to hit for power and steal bases. His average isn’t likely going to get up to .280, but a 18/15 year with a .250 average is still very possible. That’s better than the current perception of him. If he’s been dropped, I’d look to grab him. If he’s on an impatient owner’s team, I’d offer up a deal. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Julio Borbon – Was moved to the top of the order in Texas. You know why? Cause Ron Washington is mixing things up! “How much powdered sugar are you putting on your donuts?” “That’s not powdered sugar…I’m mixing things up!” That’s Ron in other aspects of his life.
Domonic Brown – He was in last week’s Buy column, he’ll be in next week’s and every week until he’s called up. That is my promise to you, now buy American!
Roger Bernadina – He’s been doing a whole lot of bupkis since he got called up, but for his upside I’m giving him another week. Now get hot you schmohawk!
Mark Trumbo – Maybe the Los Angeles Angels of Not Los Angeles County shouldn’t have took Trumbo’s doctor recommendation for Kendrys. Never the hoo! Pitch a tent in the middle of your fantasy lineup for Trumboner.
Danny Valencia – More of a very deep, short-term add because he doesn’t have enough power to really get the blood flowing.
Mark Melancon – He sounds like a comedian/ventriloquist who plays in an Indian casino. Speaking of which, my friend recently went out with a puppeteer. I told him to ask her if he can try and move her mouth by putting his hand up her– Wait, this is a family show. Um, Melancon, yeah, he should be getting saves for the time being.
Vicente Padilla – No, I can’t believe I keep recommending Padilla for pick up. Yes, it is weird. Yes, I am reading your mind’s eye for questions you have. No, you shouldn’t have Chipotle for lunch. You had that yesterday.
Eduardo Sanchez – SAGNOF!
Jake Arrieta – In his 2nd start of the year vs. the Rangers, he gave up 8 runs in 3 1/3 IP. He bounced back from that mugging like Bernie Goetz. In all other games, his ERA 2.14. Zoinks!
James McDonald – There’s certain players that make it seem like I’m higher on them than I am because they’re never owned but should be, forcing me to talk about them a lot. That doesn’t mean they should be owned over say Kuroda. This message was brought to you by the Committee to Hedge All Bets in Regards to Picking Up McDonald.
Chris Iannetta – Ever notice Italians seem to catch more than any other position? Berra, Piazza, Torre, Girardi, Garagiola, Campanella (half), Lo Duca, Napoli, Iannetta, Sal Fasano… My theory is because Italians like to be in charge and what better way to control the game than from the catching position. Or maybe it’s because they all enjoy eating so they like it behind the plate. As for Iannetta, he’s hitting so ride the green, white and red lightning.
Scott Sizemore – He’s not exactly lighting the world on fire…Shoot, he’s not even sparking a match over a stack of dry newspapers. (For our 18 to 25-year-old demographic, newspapers were regularly scheduled publications containing news of current events, informative articles, diverse features and advertising. Thanks, Wikipedia!) Sizemore is still a solid upside MILF (Middle Infielder I’d Like to take a Flyer on).
Ryan Roberts – Hey, you guys had a good couple of weeks. Friend him on Facebook so you guys can keep in touch and drop him.
Jason Bay – Other than Reyes and Wright, I’m not a huge fan of the Mets hitters (or pitchers for that matter). I’ve been called names for expressing yawnstipation for Ike Davis. Some of those names were accurate. I am gooftarded from time to time. Still, potatoes to chips, old Bay isn’t helping any fantasy teams reach its full flavor potential.
Jeff Francoeur – I wouldn’t drop Frenchy outright, but right now he’s sandwiched between A-Gon and Miguel Cabrera on ESPN’s Player Rater. That’s as good as it baguettes for Frenchy. You should see what you can get in a trade before his average drops out and he stops hitting Freedom Flies.
Gaby Sanchez – He (she?) is batting .336 and just came off a home run binge (binger!). It’s nice, huh? You should go to a Marlins game (if you can get seats — real hot ticket!), sit in the first row and blow kisses to Gaby. He (she?) will like that. He’s still around a 20 homer, .275 hitter. I wouldn’t trade him for a You Can’t Do That On Television autographed cast photo, but I’d explore options.