Kendry Morales could miss the rest of the season after breaking his leg during the celebration of his walk-off grand slam. Too bad the Wide World of Sports isn’t still on. They could’ve covered the agony and the ecstasy all in one full swoop. This injury reminds me of the time Justin Duchscherer heard The Hokey Pokey and in celebration put his right hip out. And didn’t put his right hip back in for six to eight months later. In place of Kendry, the Angels could call up Mark Trumbo. In AL-Only leagues, he’s worth grabbing for his power potential. In 47 games, he has 11 homers, but it’s also in the PCL, so there’s your grain of salt. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Howie Kendrick – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs and two home runs. Second home run was a game winner but there was no need for pylons around yesterday’s pile-on. The celebration was kept in check by Scioscia. He said under no circumstances is anyone supposed to injury another teammate in a celebration unless that player is Mike Napoli.
Mike Napoli – Hey, I was just talking about you! He played first base yesterday. Could see Scioscia going with this arrangement because I always felt he looked down on Napoli’s defense like an impossible to please probation officer.
Grady Sizemore – Having knee surgery so now he’s eligible for your POS slot. I’d cut him in leagues just because it might make it feel slightly better, but if you’re like a battered housewife (which is delicious with ranch dressing) who likes the abuse, then DL Sizemore, you might get a couple of weeks of him in September. Maybe then he can defecate in your priceless, game-worn Ivan DeJesus hat.
Joey Votto – Misses his fifth game with neck stiffness. This is a hunch, but I think Votto just needs a hug.
Josh Beckett – Won’t return on the first day he’s able because, well, he’s not able. His mechanics are still off. On a non-humorous observation tip, it doesn’t seem right that teams can just say someone’s injured when they’re clearly on the DL simply because they’re sucking. Shouldn’t there be a league doctor who has to okay DL stints?
Jacoby Ellsbury – Was D’Ellsburied once again. Was told to rest and drink lots of fluids. Actually, I have no idea what he was told but I feel like doctors always say the same shizz.
Ryan Zimmerman – Hit 2 homers yesterday to bring his season total to 10. T-minus 8 days until he becomes Washington’s 2nd favorite player.
Buster Posey – 6-for-8 since his call up. Capable of a .300 average and 10+ homers. He’s playing 1st base so that makes him more desirable than some other catchers because he’ll get more counting stats. Plus, he has potential for a breakout. When in doubt, go for upside. I’d grab him (in the non-perverse way) in all leagues.
Max Scherzer – 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners (4 BBs), 14 Ks. Well, that’s one way to return. Scherzer had a mechanics issue earlier in the year causing him to lose M’s on his PH’s. A few weeks in the minors later and he looks cured. He gets the peasant Royals next so he has a good chance of having another nice outing. I don’t think he tears up the majors like he just did in the minors. He suffers a bit from Kershawitis with short outings and deep counts.
Carlos Guillen – 1-for-5 with a homer. Best case scenario is a 10/10 guy at 2nd base. It’s a’ight.
Dontrelle Willis – Was designated for assignment. His assignment is to “stop sucking.” Whether he chooses to accept it is a whole another issue.
Justin Masterson – 6 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 8 Ks vs. the Yankees. Figures the one game where he pitches semi-decent is against a team where no one would start him. Nice, Justin Masterson: The Passive Aggressive Fantasy Starter.
Anibal Sanchez – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks. Now has a 2.89 ERA on the year. Up until this start there were some easy matchups and a bunch of walks. He goes to Metco next, which should be favorable but then he goes to Citizens Flank, where he could get assaulted by Philly hitters or fans.
Will Ohman – The child safety seal is off now that he gave up his first two runs of the year with back to back homers to Jose Bautista and Alex Gonzalez. BTW, Jose Bautista leads the major leagues in homers. Him and his stupid Hitler stache under his lip.
Ricky Romero – 9 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks. The Blue Jays somehow lost Roy Halladay and got better. Insert confused emoticon.
Derek Holland – Left the game with shoulder soreness. I’d lose him in all but the deepest leagues. And since we’re on Texas and their myriad of injuries…
Nelson Cruz – Headed to the DL. So much upside out there in Arlington but can’t avoid injuries. They have the eternal flame-outs.
Jake Peavy – Got the Win! Gave up 5 runs in 5 and 1/3 innings. Got hit hard!
Alex Rios – Another game, another homer and steal. He was in Friday’s Buy/Sell as a Sell. I stand by that. I am standing too. And wearing no pants. Do you bet on the career year where he far exceeds expectations or do you trade him for someone who is a safer bet like, say, Adrian Gonzalez?
Matt Thornton – Got the save on Friday then Ozzie removed him from a save situation on Sunday. Cause, really, what’s a closer shituation without some confusion? Oh, want further wagon circling on your closerousel? Jenks says he’s healthy enough to return. Though who’s listening?
Jayson Nix – Hit a grand slam yesterday. Nothing to see here unless you’ve got some inside dope that the Nix brothers got the same ’strength trainer’ as the Giles brothers used to employ.
James Shields – 5 1/3 IP, 7 ER, 12 baserunners, 3 Ks. There’s a warm feeling I can’t describe in the pit of my stomach. Wait… I know what it is. Schadenfreude and it feels so good!
Albert Pujols – 3 homers yesterday. Guess he’s not done, though the only one who was manufacturing that crap was ESPN as they tried to sell pageviews.
Geovany Soto – Hit a homer just as his fantasy owners began to drop him. Obviously, Soto and Masterson got together to come up with ways to make their fantasy owners cry.
Jose Reyes – 2-for-5 as he made the June 1st milestone of .255. Do I hear .275 for July 1st? .280? Be even better if he stole 15 bases this month.
Angel Pagan – Batting around .350 with 4 steals and 1 homer in the last week. I actually picked him up in one league. It’ll probably be a short layover on his way to the waiver wire, but there ya go.
Chad Qualls – 1 IP, 2 ER for his 4th blown save. This was the 2nd straight 2 earned run outing for Qualls. At some point, he should be replaced as closer, and that point was probably about a month ago.
Roy Halladay – Threw a perfect game on Saturday. After the game, Vice President Joe Biden called to congratulate him. Afterwards, Halladay put Moyer on the phone so he could talk to his old high school friend.