In his last four games, J.J. Hardy has gone 8-for-17 with two homers. You waited and waited. Went for a dip in the ocean. Washed ashore in Finland. Smoked a bowl with some guy who wore only a potato sack. Fell asleep on a raft. Woke up in your kiddie pool wearing your water wings. And finally Hardy got hot. In July last year, Hardy hit .339 with 9 homers. Followed that up with a .294 August and 5 homers. I know Hardy’s sucked the life out of you with his April through June, but if he’s indeed hot now, and it seems that way, he’ll bat 2nd, he’ll hit some homers and a decent average for a month or so. He’s currently batting .232. That’ll come up. He has 8 homers, he should finish with 25. Will he always be as delightful as your Finnish friend wearing a potato sack? No, probably not, but he’s better than he’s been. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Raul Ibanez – Won’t be returning this Friday when eligible. No set backs; Phils are just taking precautions. For those wanting to say something derogatory about him, I’d wait until he doesn’t have so much free time.
Casey McGehee – Grand slam yesterday. Is there anything he can’t do?! Yeah, keep this up. But while he’s hot, you really should own him if you need MI help.
J.D. Drew – 3-for-5, batted leadoff. Who put Ellsbury in the doghouse? Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.
Gordon Beckham – 7 for his 13 with a steal and he shares a first name with an alien life form. Capable of double digit power and steals with a solid average, but this year he might be a bit underseasoned like your Mom’s cooking. Though worth taking a flier to see if you can catch lightning in a bottle.
Gavin Floyd – 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER. If you own him, have a cigar, you crazy diamond.
Alexei Ramirez – Left the game after being plunked in the head by Chris Perez. He’ll be fine. Surprisingly, he did not swing at the pitch.
Ryan Theriot – HR yesterday. Back on May 5th when Theriot had 3 homers, frequent commenter, IowaCubs said, “If Theriot hits 4 more homers this year, I’m going to tattoo “PUJOLS” in cyrillic across my forehead.” Theriot now has 7 homers. Cust kayin’.
Rich Harden – 7 IP, 1 ER, 9 Ks. Okay, so who was that other guy wearing Harden’s jersey for the first three months? Piniella blamed Bradley.
Jake Fox – 2-for-3 as Jakie Foxx batted fourth and continued to play 3rd after interleague. Unathletic… like a fox!
Pat Burrell – HR yesterday. He has three. He always gets 30. Do the math!
Carl Crawford – Stole his 40th base and hit his 7th homer yesterday. I think he’ll be fine this year, but I’m betting he might be a wee bit overrated going into next year. And that’s me anticipating me!
Roy Halladay – 6 IP, 2 ER as he returned from the DL. Don’t worry about the short game (for him). I’m sure he’ll be throwing 120 pitches and complete games by mid-July.
Randy Choate – Recorded his 4th save yesterday because Howell pitched three days in a row and Maddon refuses to let a righty save a game.
Ricky Nolasco – 8 IP, 2 ER, 8 Ks. Now has five straight solid starts with only five walks. From the files of No Kidding, whatever was ailing him before is obviously no longer an issue.
Dan Meyer – Had the opportunity to save the game, but couldn’t close it out and gave way to Nunez. Meyer’s a real lemon.
David Murphy – Hit a homer and batted third. Hey, I own him in a league or two, so that’s nice, but third? Really?
Julio Borbon – Was called up by the Rangers and started as their DH. Ron Washington said, “We didn’t bring him up here to sit around and watch baseball.” Grey Albright said, “Cool. What can we expect from him?” Ron Washington said, “SAGNOF!” Grey said, “That works. Does he stay up after Josh Hamilton returns?” Washington said, “Quit your prying!”
Luke Hochevar – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners. He’s suckering you in again, isn’t he? Stay strong, young Razzball reader.
Miguel Olivo – 3-for-4, and hit his 12th homer. Matt Wieters went 1-for-4 with an infield single.
Tim Lincecum – Two hitter with 8 Ks. Still about two years away from his peak years. Zoinks!
Rick Porcello – 4 1/3 IP, 5 ER. His time in mixed leagues is just about over. Say your goodbyes and remember, you’ll always have May.
Roy Oswalt – 9 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks, four baserunners vs. the Padres. Oswalt issued two walks. Both to Adrian Gonzalez. See how easy that is?
Randy Wolf – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners. Wolf’s the king of the good winless start.
Ubaldo Jimenez – 7 IP, 2 ER. Vin Scully said, “The Dodgers usually scramble his eggs.” Last night, Ubaldo made omelettes.
Gary Sheffield/Ryan Church – Comatose Mets Fan, “Church and Sheff went a combined 7-for-10 and the Mets lost?! Did Delgado, Reyes and Beltran do nothing?” Oh, Comatose Mets Fan, you have a lot of catching up to do.
Fernando Nieve – 3 1/3 IP, 3 ER. 12 baserunners. I had to look at the play-by-play for this game because it seemed mathematically impossible to have that many baserunners in less than 4 innings and only give up three runs. He got lucky. Now if you press your luck and start him again, you may get a whammy.
Carlos Beltran – He’s exploring micro-fracture knee surgery. Does he have a tiny knee? C’mon, Mantle played on no knees for ten years! Have a scotch and get in the lineup!