Corey Hart is out for up to a month with an appendectomy. My college roommate had an appendectomy and he returned from the hospital in 24 hours and back to drinking Olde E forties with me by Friday, which is what we called Tuesday. Bill Hall will be recalled (Score one for NL pitchers) and Frank Catalanotto will see time in right field (score one for the Catalanottos). Good thing the Brewers traded for Gerut. Who? Hey, you sound like Ken Macha! I expect the Hart will go on in September. If he gives you his biggest month of the season then, it’ll be about 4 homers and 4 steals for the month. Whoopie! If Hart’s still on your team, now’s as good a time as any to cut him, unless you have DL room. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Neftali Feliz – Called up to come out of the bullpen. Yes, he’s flippin’ awesome. I know. But out of the bullpen? Eh. If your league’s deep enough, I guess I could see it, but I’m not running out to grab him.
Scott Feldman – 7 IP, 2 ER and his 10th win. Incredible. Three of my starters together don’t have 10 wins and this schmohawk does. Feldman who has 58 Ks in 119 2/3 innings. I hate wins.
Jarrod Saltalamacchia – 2 HRs in his last three games. If it’s a hot streak, it’s long overdue.
Chad Billingsley – Left the game with a cramp. Aw, it’s that time of the month. He should be ready for his next start.
Casey Blake – Had problems swinging a bat during batting practice, now he’s headed for X-rays on his hand. Coulda called me, I own X-ray glasses. Thank you, back of a comic book.
Matt Kemp – 3-for-5, 5 RBIs with a homer from the five hole. This was his first homer of the year while batting above the 6th spot. (<–Torre supplied that info.)
Scott Downs – To the DL. What I don’t get is why was Downs the closer anyway? It’s not like he has some absurd contract cough B.J. Ryan cough. Jason Frasor takes over the job he should’ve had anyway. I’d own Frasor in any league.
Scott Rolen – Beaned on the helmet by a pitch. Phillies fans can’t believe it took that long for the voodoo doll work. Rolen should be fine. Phew… The Reds playoff hopes are counting on him going 120/50/120/.450 and pitching 30 no-hitters in the last two months.
Drew Sutton – 2-for-5, has SS eligibility and 15/15 type appeal. Do I think he can reach those numbers? I have my doubts. But Dusty hit him leadoff all weekend and Dusty is CRAZY enough to keep him there. Worth a flier in NL-Only leagues, keeper and otherwise. (Dusty gets crazy in caps, you shouldn’t have to ask.)
Miguel Montero – 3-for-5 as he hit cleanup. Hinch, you don’t hit a catcher cleanup then platoon him with Chris Snyder. I’m not sure why the D’Backs are forcing Snyder into the lineup every other day or so, but Miguel Montero’s value is taking a hit. I’m sure Tonya Harding’s available (and cheap) if anyone wants to send her to the desert looking for Snyder.
Ty Wigginton – HR yesterday. As I mentioned in Friday’s Buy/Sell, he goes from Mr. Wigginton to Dr. Donkowitz in August. Why? Beats the shizz out of me.
Ronnie Cedeno – HR yesterday with the Pirates. All he needed was a change of scenary… And 120 MPH winds blowing out.
Elijah Dukes – Trouble’s back in the town called Malice. Riggleman says Dukes will get the majority of starts and he should. Definitely worth a flier in 12 team leagues and deeper.
James Shields – 7 1/3 IP, 1 ER. Unfortunately, he pitched against Brian Bannister, who looked like his brother Bruce. Would’ve been nice to get the win, but I was just happy to see Shields dominate. Baby steps, Bob, baby steps.
Mark Buehrle – 4 1/3 IP, 7 ER. Now that’s how you make a correction to your season stats.
Gordon Beckham – I was getting some shizz in our fantasy baseball forums for pushing people to pick up Beckham. In July, he hit .330 with 3 homers and 3 steals. That’s kinda good for a guy who has shortstop eligibility.
Asdrubal Cabrera – 7 for his last 17 with two homers. A’la Cher from Clueless, “AS-drubal!”
Bud Norris – 7 IP, 5 Ks, 4 walks, 2 hits. That’s the problem. The walks. I suppose I’d own him for his next start, but I don’t think he’s going to have a rotation spot for much longer and he’s still a rookie and liable to roofie you.
Kendry Morales – 2 HRs, 6 RBIs. March Grey told you he was a sleeper. (Please ignore June Grey that told you to Sell him. June Grey was phoning it in from a methadone clinic. It was a dark time.)
Orlando Cabrera – 1-for-3, HR yesterday as he batted 2nd. He hit near .400 in July. (Ted Williams, “Unfreeze me when you do it over an entire season.”) I’m not a huge fan of a guy who has light power and diminishing speed, but you can probably do worse at SS.
Casey McGehee – Well, lookie what the MI schmohawk cat dragged in. McGehee hit 2 homers in the last four games and has been playing regularly at 3rd base.
Eugenio Velez – 2-for-5, 2 RBIs. Not sure why, but I have a special place in my heart for Velez. Maybe because he’s a buck thirty soaking wet. Potatoes to chips, Velez is hitting near .500 over the last week.
Jake Fox – Of course he hit a homer yesterday, he started. I’m not what you would call a person who gets involved. I yell, “Hands free,” to people who are talking on their cellphone while they’re driving, but that’s about the extent of my community involvement. But if I were, say, a person who takes action, I’d start a campaign to make Jake Fox the catcher.
David Ortiz – 0-for-5, 1 RBI. Ticker Tease!
Clay Buchholz – 4 IP, 7 ER. When you’re working with a 14 run cushion… Well… You gave him a shot. It just didn’t work out. I’d let him figure it out on someone else’s team.
Melky Cabrera – Hit for the cycle yesterday. The guy who took four minutes to design “Got Melky” t-shirts at Cafepress is ecstatic.