The national budget isn’t the only thing that’s strained in DC, Ryan Zimmerman is headed to the DL with an ab strain. This was an injury that originally happened in Spring Training and now it looks like the ab has taken out a *pinkie to mouth* restraining order. Zimmerman always seemed like such a good boy, who knew he had a bad side? For those baby boomers in the audience, Robert Zimmerman is Dylan and Ryan Zimmerman is illin’. For those housewives reading on, Ryan’s owners whine of choice is Zimm-for-DL. Yeah, that pun is a worse strain than his. So now that this strain has resurfaced, it makes me think the Nats are going to let it heal for a lot longer than 15 days to make sure there’s no more relapses. Worse, if they don’t play it safe and rush him back in two weeks, he could reinjure himself and be out for another few weeks. (Something that could, unfortunately, happen anyway.) All in all, it’s a good day to not own Zimmerman. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Alexi Ogando – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 4 Ks. A…O…A’ight! BTW, do you know Tony Danza’s blood type? It’s AO. Watch out, Catskills, here comes Grey! Another great start for the converted outfielder. It’s been a while since the Rangers let an outfielder take the mound (see Jose Canseco) but it’s paid off big. Looks like Tommy Hunter has been Pipp’d! Ogando did leave in the 8th with a recurring blister. It’s something to watch. Not literally, unless you’re in the same room as him.
Justin Verlander – 9 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks. Rudy’s Cy Young pick held down the dangerous Texas offense. If the Tigers could’ve scored a few runs and Verlander had more than 4 Ks, it would’ve warranted more exclamatory punctuation.
Andrew Bailey – A’s said he should be back in a few weeks. So his ETA for getting hurt again is approximately a few weeks and a day.
Rajai Davis – To the 15-day DL with an ankle injury. You never hear about cankle injuries. You goofed, God, cankles are more durable.
Sam Fuld – 4-for-6 with two doubles, a triple and a homer to complete The Hungry Man cycle. The 30-year-old AAAA Cub OF has become a Bear since he moved to Tampa. He’s now stolen 5 SBs on the year and hit his first bomb today. Don’t drop anyone too valuable for him, but you’ve got to ride his hot streak.
Jeremy Hellickson – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners (5 walks), 1 K. Hellickson didn’t have his ‘A’ stuff. Wasn’t quite his Triple-A stuff either. Didn’t matter since the Rays bats finally made it through customs.
Matt Joyce – 1-for-6, batting third. Would’ve been nice if he had a big game to justify him staying in the lineup, but that’s A Portrait of the Unqualified Hitter in the Three Hole from Joyce.
Adrian Gonzalez – 1-for-2 with a triple and Ortiz went 2-for-4 with a triple as the grounds crew at Fenway moved third base on top of second.
Edinson Volquez – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks with more first inning shenanigans. The Reds might consider letting Volquez pitch batting practice to the Reds before his starts.
Chris Heisey – 1-for-4 with his 1st homer as he hit leadoff. Dusty thinks Oh-Bee-Pee is that movie theater candy that stick in your teeth, but I still wouldn’t be surprised if Stubbs sits a lot more if he doesn’t start hitting.
Jonny Gomes – Now has a homer in back-to-back games. Not quite as hot as Jennifer Connelly going back-to-back in Requiem for a Dream, but not bad.
Jonathan Herrera – 2-for-4, now 7 for his last 10 with steals in back-to-back games. Shouldn’t last but in deep enough leagues, I’d definitely take a look. (Note: As I wrote that, WordPress told me, “You do not have permission to do that.” Take that as you want.)
Seth Smith – 3-for-4 with a steal. Right now, The Lisper’s Nightmare is playing every day vs. righties and hitting .367.
Mike Pelfrey – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 3 Ks. Probably the last time I’m going to repeat myself on this topic so head’s up to those of youse who weren’t paying attention for the last three months. Ixnay on the Elfreypay.
Mark Buehrle – 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 1 K. Isn’t it funny — which naturally means this is completely unfunny — how Buehrle throws a perfect game or near-perfect game a few times a year then is totally mediocre the rest of the year?
Matt Thornton – 1/3 IP with the blown save, but the tying run was unearned, so there’s the junebug on the duck’s back or some other yokelism. BTW, Juan Pierre has blown the last two Thornton blown saves. He’s like the anti-DeWayne Wise.
Asdrubal Cabrera – Homer yesterday, now has 4 homers on the year. A’la Cher from Clueless, “As….DRUBAL!”
Mitch Talbot – 8 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks. Talbot has a 1.46 ERA on the year, Indians are 8-2 and a pig just flew by my window. And the pig was wearing a lovely Hawaiian muumuu from Talbot’s.
Tyler Chatwood – 5 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks. Did they promote him from an Indiana high school? (Hey, Hoosiers fans!) He’s super young/raw/adjective and his last name sounds like a website you don’t want your significant other finding in your browser history. I wouldn’t touch Chatwood at all this year in non-keepers, until he strings together a few weeks of quality starts.
Starlin Castro – 3-for-5, a steal and hitting .364. He’s no As…DRUBAL! But he’s doing his thang. Or is it thing?
Madison Bumgarner – 5 IP, 5 ER, 12 baserunners, 3 Ks. It’s time to worry that the extra innings last year are emphasizing the first syllable of his last name.
Pat Burrell – 2-for-2 with his 4th homer. It’s Pat the Bat and he’s swinging, ladies.
Chone Figgins – It’s one thing when someone like Ryan Howard doesn’t hit their weight, but when it’s someone like Figgins it’s another thing. Figgins left Monday night’s game early with a thumb bruise – early word is that it’s day-to-day but he probably warrants a stint on the Disgraceful List.
Matt Kemp – 1-for-2, 1 RBI and his 7th steal while batting .441! New coach Davey Lopes is like the SB whisperer. BTW, a friend went to Kemp’s party after the Dodgers opening night win at a club here in LA. Two hours after the win, Kemp was standing on the bar with two champagne bottles flipped over, pouring into his mouth like he was a fountain. I like it! He’s playing loose!
Rafael Furcal – Broken thumb and he’s contemplating retirement. Sounds like his dream of being a movie reviewer isn’t going to happen either.
Jon Rauch – Yesterday, Shawn Camp got to blow the game for the Jays. Okay, not sure where Rauch was. A pickup game with Mets pitcher, Chris Young? Saving a kitten from the top of a skyscraper? Picking coconuts?
Mat Latos – 6 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 7 Ks. Actually, he didn’t look that bad, but I still wouldn’t buy into him because of the excess innings from last year. Also, I find it weird how I loved him last year and this year I watched him for about two innings and thought he was such a douche. “Ooh, I’m Mat Latos and I’m yelling for Gomes to run faster on a home run.” Perhaps if you stop giving them up, it won’t be a problem. How’s dem apples? Sour?
Orlando Hudson – 2-for-4, 2 steals. He stole 4 bases in April of 2009 and only stole 4 more the rest of the year. Yup.
Corey Patterson – 2-for-5 with a homer as he filled in for Rajai. Looking for a guy that can give you an 0-for-35? Look no further! For a limited time only, Patterson might be a worthwhile fantasy add.
Milton Bradley – 2-for-4 with his first homer. He’s still batting third and batty, in general.
Lance Berkman – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and 2 homers. Welcome to the Cardinals, Guy Who Looks Like He Could Be the Host of Man vs. Food’s Father.
Kyle McClellan – 6 IP, 1 ER, 11 baserunners, 4 Ks. For my next trick, I will resurrect Steve Howe’s corpse and turn him into a Hall of Famer. That’s what Dave Duncan said after yesterday’s game.