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Welcome to the year end Razzball awards.  I’m your host, Grey Albright and I’m joined by Random Italicized Voice, Hey.  Also, on the red carpet for everyone’s arrival we have, Comatose Blue Jays Fan, “Hurry up, the Blue Jays are gonna be facing the Yankees tonight on Fox.”  And up in the balcony critiquing everyone’s outfits we have Clunky Segue, “As I was saying…”  Before the show even begins, we have a very special musical guest, Lighter Shade of Brown!  Live from opening for Kanye West!  Not playing on stage with him, but literally opening doors for him.  They now work as doormen.  At hotels.  It’s very sad.  Anyway, here’s the 2013 Razzball Year End Awards:

Fantasy AL Most Valuable Player – The easy choice here would be Miguel Cabrera, and I’m not one for making things hard.  Miguel Cabrera, do you accept this award in honor of all the men and women who have serviced themselves thinking of you?

Fantasy NL Most Valuable Player – Paul Goldschmidt.  Au Shizz!  Let’s go back into our Way Back Machine and look at Why Goldschmidt is better than your other 2nd round pick?  A few key commenters in that post were naysayers.  Guess that’s better than being like Sarah Jessica Parker, who is a neigh-sayer.

Fantasy AL Cy Young – This was a tough call for the Razzball voting panel.  See, cause the panel is made of a hundred monkeys wearing organ grinder outfits and when I showed them a picture of Max Scherzer, they scratched their ass.  Wait, that is the BBWAA.  I’m picking these awards on my own.  Yeah, Scherzer wins.

Fantasy NL Cy Young – This is a toss up between Clayton Kershaw and nobody.  Since the only ones voting for nobody were other nobodies, Kershaw took this one in a walk.

Fantasy AL Least Valuable Player – As much as I’d like to give Salvador Perez and his dead abuelita this award, he’d just put it on her gravestone.  Plus, he was just a catcher.  So whatevs.  I’m going to give it to Josh Hamilton, though I could’ve gave it to his teammate, Albert Pujols too.  Pujols at least had the decency to get injured so you could replace him.  Hamilton just shat a brick, then built a shathouse with his shat-out bricks and burned the walls so it stunk up your entire team.  If you won your league with Hamilton, it was in spite of him.

Fantasy NL Least Valuable Player  – There is a lot of legitimate options for this title.  I’d love to give it to Matt Kemp, but the winner (loser?) was ranked in the preseason above him and gave you a whole lot of nothing, then was suspended for 65 games.  For good measure, we’re gonna be shipping Ryan Braun his award via FedEx.

Fantasy POS – The POS award goes to the guy that gave me the biggest ulcer this year, like a rancid gyro with spoiled tahini… Congratulations, Mike Moustakas.  Way to forget how to hit.  Accepting the award on Moustakas’s behalf is Ike Davis.  Ike, we can’t hear you, step two feet closer to the microphone.  Ike, you’re backing away from the mic.  Ike, you’re going to fall off the stage you’re so far from the mic.  Oh, eff it, Ike Davis you get to share the award with Moustakas.  You were both Fantasy POS’s.

Fantasy Hitter You Most Likely Dropped and Picked Up A Dozen Times – Oh my God, Will Venable is hitting!  I must rush to waivers!  Hmm… Now I don’t think he is.  Wait!  He is again!  Well, maybe he isn’t.  No, he definitely is!  Yes!  No!  He’s in Petco this week and not hitting!  He’s on the road this week and hitting!  Let me ask Grey!

Player You Had Forever and Most Wanted to Drop –  You, “I don’t care if Wilin Rosario gets 28 homers, I just want to drop him.”  Me, “Just hold him.”  You, “Okay… Well, what if Jason Castro is available?”

Player On The Top Of Your Waivers That You Just Couldn’t Bring Yourself to Pick Up – “Really, Brian Dozier?  That’s who I’m supposed to pick up?  Hmm… What about Wilin Rosario?  I just dropped him.”

Pitcher You Streamed So Much You Ended Up Owning Him – Justin Masterson.  “The Stream-o-Nator says I should grab Masterson, but he goes against the Yankees next, then Texas then…Someone just dropped Dickey, should I switch them?”

Player You Were Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop From, But Thankfully It Never Did – Chris Davis.  By mid-June, everything Davis gave you was icing and now you’re diabetic.  You’re welcome.

Player You Were Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop From and It Ended Up Kicking You in the Groin – Jeff Locke.  “I have a 2-something ERA from Jeff Locke and Grey’s telling me to drop him?  Yeah, we’ll see how well that works out for others– Gah!  That’s a swift kick in my man jewels!  Man jewels down!   Or…is…it…up?”

Player You Were Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop From and When It Did You Were Okay With It – Domonic Brown.  Sure, his last stretch was far from pleasant, but when a guy gives you 27 homers in four and a half months, you’ll take a Septumbler.  Jason Kipnis was the runner-up for this award due to a very favorable 9.3 from the Russian judge.

Player You Traded Away That You Most Regretted – “It’s June 1st and someone just offered me Bobby Parnell and Ryan Braun, who’s due back any day from his thumb injury, for Chris Davis… I have to take this, right?”

Player You Traded For That You Most Regretted – “I understand he’s playing slightly over his head in April, but I have a feeling this is the year Justin Upton really puts together a full season of delicious.  I might even throw in Jose Fernandez for s’s and g’s.”

Top SAGNOF – Rajai Davis/Edward Mujica (tie)  Remember, the essence of SAGNOF is cheap saves and steals.  There were no cheaper guys for those two stats that gave that much value.  Eric Young Jr. and Kevin Gregg came in a close second.

Player Who Pulled A Kotchman – Matt Kemp.  “He’s going to be healthy by the first week of April….Word is he’ll be healthy by the 2nd week in May… He’s back now, snitches!  And now he’s hurt again.  Can I hire Chris Brown to beat him up?”

Biggest Waste Of A Razzball Nickname – Mini Donkey.  A close second was Mini Mini Donkey.  Past winners include Krispie Young and Sparkakis.

Slam & Legs Award – Let’s just say, the award should be called the Mike Trout Award.

Remember That Feeling You Had When You Walked In On Your Parents Having Sex, This Pitcher Gave You That Feeling Every Fifth Day – Justin Verlander.  There’s some sort of Venn diagram to be made from Kate Upton, Justin Upton, B.J. Upton and Verlander.  Or maybe it’s six degrees of Upton separation.  Or maybe it’s just CC Sabathia should’ve got this award.  Or Yovani Gallardo.  Or R.A. Dickey.  Or Jeff Schmuckzija.

From Around The Web

  1. Curt says:
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    The guy who I dropped and picked up the most…..Osvaldo Arcia………

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Curt: I hear that one…

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @Grey: him and smyly (16 teamer), i think 5 times each.

  2. Gregorius Chant says:
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    Nice awards list! Thanks to you, I had both of our MVP’s (Miggy/Goldy) and I was able to get goldy with the first pick of the 5th round! Thanks for the fun, successful and Championship year! ***Starts weeping while singing*** “It’s a tragedy for me to see, the seasons oooooover, and I never will forget, the day we met, Grey I’m gonna miss you”. Oh wait, there will be end of season analysis and off season analysis. Thank goodness, I thought I was going to have to watch the NBA!

    • The guru says:
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      @Gregorius Chant:

      Is it sad that I got the song reference there?

      • Gregorius Chant says:
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        @The guru: Not as sad as me using it

  3. Slim

    Buddah Lovaz says:
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    I have a strong disagreement. Trout had only 4 Slam and Legs. Pence had 6. He’s 50% more the S&Ler! Pence had a heck of a year he deserves something. His ending Rank on Yahoo is 9th overall.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Buddah Lovaz: Yeah, that’s true… Stupid voting panel of monkeys!

      • Slim

        Buddah Lovaz says:
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        @Grey: Hehe. Nice.

  4. Thomas says:
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    Special category for guys who were key to your team and got hurt late: Cargo, Harvey, E5, Castro, Bautista, Mauer, Parnell

    • OaktownSteve says:
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      • OaktownSteve says:
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        @OaktownSteve:

        This was meant to say “Craig”

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Thomas: Yeah, good call…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Thomas: Oh, and there was Tulo who seemed like he was hurt, but wasn’t

  5. Nate says:
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    The Guy I Could Not Quit But Wound Up Loving: Carlos Gomez.

    Just want to say thanks for the advice all year. I owe my championship to you guys. Again.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Nate: No problem, congrats!

  6. Blue says:
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    I want to give a shout out to Razzball and SON for some hardware. I streamed basically a slot and a half of pitchers over the course of September. I ended up with the following:

    14 Wins
    195 Strikeouts (a K/9 rate of 9.1)
    1.1687 WHIP
    3.1645 ERA

    That was basically like adding the equivalent of James Shields or Shelby Miller to the back end of my pitching staff.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Blue: Yeah, SON is no joke… Glad it worked out for you…

  7. Fabio says:
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    My “Fantasy Hitter You Most Likely Dropped and Picked Up A Dozen Times” was Alfonso Soriano, .207 avg when playing for my team, .285 when a free man. I put him on waiwers in the first day of the week when he smashed some 376 homeruns.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Fabio: Haha, damn…

  8. Fungazi says:
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    What approximate rank do you see Gyorko being next year? If you remove April as starting slow, and July from when he came back from injury, the rest of his numbers are pretty beast.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Fungazi: Agreed… Probably around 80

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @Grey: damn, means i won’t get him next year. Brad miller, before waivers next year.

  9. mauledbypandas says:
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    This is a sad day. Good luck those of you who have real baseball teams who are still playing

  10. Jack says:
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    If Salvador Perez ever saw this blog…haha.

  11. MattTruss223 says:
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    My constantly added/dropped fellas were Matt Joyce, Dayan Viciedo and Nolan Arenado. They were on and off my team at least a half dozen times each.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @MattTruss223: I held Arenado for like 350 ABs, never really did anything

  12. Scott says:
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    Where’s the love – I mean hatred – for Starlin Castro? And no Giancarlo reference, even though he should go back to being a Mike?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Scott: Yeah, Castro was pitiful…

    • Dingbat says:
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      @Scott: Castro was my personal Fantasy POS. What a maroon.

  13. papasmurf says:
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    I know Braun was taken earlier in drafts, but Blow Job Upton has gotta be up there as LVP. At least Braun was productive when he was on the field.

    In 61 games, he had 30 9 38 4 .298 .374

    Upton in more than TWICE as many games was 30 9 26 12 .184 .268.

    My version of the Chris Davis for Braun and Parnell deal is Goldy for Harvey and Longoria. I’ll never forget this one. The timing was just incredibly patented smurf-like.

    As inconsistent a year as Sal Perez had, his final numbers were actually not terrible. He was ranked the 10th best catcher on Yahoo, which was a little hard to believe at first.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @papasmurf: Goldy for Longo isn’t egregiously bad… Nah, Perez was okay, if all over the map for production from week to week…

  14. Hoosier Daddy says:
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    Grey- I notice you didn’t pat yourself on the back for this, but kudos for nailing the Longoria HR projection in game 163

    • Spike Owen says:
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      I thought that too last night as I saw him hit his jack: “Grey would be proud!”

      @Hoosier Daddy:

  15. Wake Up says:
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    Here’s to hoping that the Pirates can steal a ‘ship…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Wake Up: Awesome… I’d take the Dodgers just because it’s here…

      • Wake Up says:
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        @Grey: I’ve been pulling for the Pirates all year…I’d like to see them do it but will be shocked if they do…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          I hope Neil Walker is the series MVP…

          • Wake Up says:
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            @Grey: now you’re just poking fun at me…

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Nope, I really do, boost up his perceived value for next year…

  16. Mike says:
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    Disagreeing on Goldschmidt MVP, although just on a technicality. I’m guessing he went somewhere around the 5th round in most leagues. In the end, he provided 1st round value.

    On the other hand, Segura was probably 28th round at best in most leagues, and he gave 3rd or 4th round value. So when we’re talking “valuable”… or maybe there should be another award: “Bargain Bin Gems”?

    • Fungazi says:
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      @Mike: I’m thinking value is value. Your first round pick can fail miserably also, so just getting first round value out of a first rounder is great, let alone any of the other earlier rounds. The late lottery picks & Davis’ are just dumb luck.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Mike: Yeah, more like bargain bin gems, but Segura was very valuable too, agreed

  17. Fireball Feliz says:
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    In my Roto league i was in first place heading into the final day by 5 points. 2 steals from Gentry and 2 steals from eric young jr later, plus dropping 2 whip points and a K point and i ended the year in 2nd place by 1 point. You’d think as a Rangers fan I’d be used to having the rug pulled from under me… but i guess not

  18. Howard says:
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    @Grey Thanks for a great season! Who would you rather keep between Segura or Wil Myers? Has he moved up yet? I’m thinking Segura has become a bonafide top 20 whereas Myers is still on the periphery.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Howard: No problem… Segura

  19. Nico

    John Stamos says:
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    Thanks for all the help this year and being one of the major reasons I won, wait.. CRUSHED, my fantasy league! A donation is forthcoming with a percentage of my winnings!

  20. Todd25 says:
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    My Brotha from anotha Stache,
    Cheers to you on another mostly successful season projectionating. in a 10-man league i came out with a trophy after drafting Trout, J-Ham (traded for A.Jones after week 3), Longoria, Goldy with my first 4 picks… money!

    Looking into the crystal ball,
    how would you order these pitchers A. next year? B. beyond?
    Salazar, Sonny Gray, Jeff Locke, Yordano Ventura, Yusmeiro Petit, Jared Cosart

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Todd25: Gray, Salazar, Ventura… Same for both…

  21. MasterofGrond says:
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    I think I owned Nate Schierholtz approximately 10 times this season in RCL team for a total of 13 games. Got 4 homers and 16 RBIs, though, so it might have been the only short term pickup that worked for me all year.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @MasterofGrond: Yeah, he was another guy that bounced on and off the team…

  22. OaktownSteve says:
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    Two guys I wanted to trust, should have trusted but never could trust…until it was too late: Liriano and Ubaldo

    Saberhagenmatrician Award to: Jacoby Ellsbury

    If a fantasy season falls in the forest, does anybody hear it award: Without peeking, who is the top SS on the Razzboard to finish the year? Did you say Ian Desmond? Top ss and right around 30th overall. Can’t remember a single mention of the guy on this or any site anywhere all year.

    Interchangables: Matt Holliday and Jay Bruce ranked 12th and 13th OF respectively pre-season. Bruce 10th ranked OF on the year, Matt 11th. They probably have matching tatoos that say OF2.

    Mo’ Mo’ than Mo’? Throwing almost nothing but cutters, Kenley gave you 111 Ks, .86 WHiP, and a 1.88 ERA plus 28 saves in a little over half a season closing.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @OaktownSteve: Great call on Ellsbury… In fairness to little mention of Desmond — shine on you crazy Desmond — Segura was the top SS until he got injured at the end and was mentioned a lot… Wow, surprised actually Holliday ranks that high, he was a bit yawnstipating to own…

      • OaktownSteve says:
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        @Grey:

        Matt Holliday: The Great Yawnstipator. Bruce took a page out of his book second half. Exactly 4 homers in July, in August and in September.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, I thought Bruce had more hot streaks, but looks like he only had one crazy one this year…

      • Big Magoo

        Big Magoo says:
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        @OaktownSteve: @Grey:

        Q: How many players have gone 20/20 in each of the last two years?

        A: Four – Trout, McCutchen, CarGo, and… Ian Desmond.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, and Desmond hasn’t hurt you in average either like he was prone to when he first came up…

          • Big Magoo

            Big Magoo says:
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            @Grey: Nope. He’s a solid .280+ hitter now.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Sure, seems that way…

        • OaktownSteve says:
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          @Big Magoo:

          Nice pull. Rios missed the list by 2 homers. But practically doubled his steals.

          • Big Magoo

            Big Magoo says:
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            @OaktownSteve: Rios was a close call. Same with the other CarGo – he missed it by 1 homer in ’12.

    • J-FOH says:
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      @OaktownSteve: good call on kenley.

  23. TheNewGuy says:
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    Longo did it baby he did it! Grey is a psychic!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I prefer witch

      • TheNewGuy says:
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        @Grey: How about wizard? Could be called Grey Al(bus Dumbledore).

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          I’ll take it!

  24. Bombo Rivera says:
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    My favorite waiver wire RP was Koji Uehara. I know Mujica saved 37 while Koji only had 21, but Koji’s other numbers really had an impact on my pitching staff. He had more than 100 Ks and a WHIP of 0.56 on the year. That’s silly, and really valuable in a GS limit league like the RCLs if you have a few other decent sources of saves.

    I didn’t have Koji all year, but picked him up just before he got the closer’s role. His line for my team: 46 IP, 64 Ks, 20 saves, 0.39 ERA, 0.36 WHIP.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I hear ya, Koji was tremendous too, but straight SAGNOF, and he had less saves…

      • Bombo Rivera says:
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        @Grey: But most people picked up those guys a little later. Post- All Star Break, Koji had more saves and a ridiculous 41-1 K/BB rate, Mujica’s was 12-3. Koji had had a 0.26 ERA, Mujica was 3.80.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Mujica had more saves and was picked up way earlier…

  25. Jay says:
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    worst move award for my team was trading machado for heyward in a keeper…oh yeah and i dropped JoFer after that second start…

    I have no rooting interest in the playoffs so I am jumping on the jolly rogerand setting sail with the Pirates. Wouldn’t mind seeing Pittsburg Cleveland in the series

    • OaktownSteve says:
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      @Jay:

      What’s the Big Deal? Award: Machado. 14 homers, 70 something RBIs. Young with upside sure but this year? Didn’t win any championships.

      • Jay says:
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        @OaktownSteve: this is true, but it’s a keeper.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        He did a lot of it in the 1st 6 weeks, so he got hyped and then held counting stats/average but not much else…

        • Jay says:
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          @Grey: I ended up getting machado back. Down to choosing 5 out of the following for keepers Votto Longo Stanton machado heyward stras Lee and grienke? any thoughts.

          one caveat is that i traded away my first 6 picks to make a go of it. so i don’t pick until the 12th rd. ***looks in mirror, points finger and laughs****

          • Grey

            Grey says:
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            Votto, Longo, Stanton, Stras, Machado…Last one is a toss up…

            • Jay says:
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              @Grey: sweet that’s where I’m leaning. only need 5, sorry if i didn’t make that clear.

              • Grey

                Grey says:
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                Gotcha

  26. Carnac says:
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    Cust Kayin’, there is only 1 player with a lower value than BJ Upton on the Razzball Player Rater with more than 200 ABs.

    Greg Dobbs: 236 ABs, -$25.9
    BJ Upton: 291 ABs, -$19.9 (Mike Moustakas: -$13.3, Ike Davis: -$15.8)

    Pre-Season projections for BJ:
    STEAMER: 88/23/78/25/.251
    Grey: 90/25/72/39/.255

    In almost 400 ABs, BJ’s 2013 Runs and RBI *combined* for his expected SB total. And, FWIW, ranked about 100+ spot higher than Moustakas. Further FWIW, BJ’s owners almost certainly had to hang onto him longer than Ike or Moustakas.

    By what metric were Moustakas and Davis worse?

    • Carnac says:
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      Edit: BJ had 391 ABs (not 291)

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      When you’re right, you’re right… I just remembered the direct anguish Moustakas and Davis caused, and had forgotten about BJ… Maybe it’s his name that’s so soothing…

      • Carnac says:
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        Yeah, his name IS soothing… that’s what made this year so bitingly painful; BJ’s always been great in fantasy.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Ha, yup

  27. Robby D says:
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    Want to do a retrospective to see who drafted best in our keeper league. Is there anyone that you know who has a final rankings up yet for fantasy? I’d like to look at draft position vs. rank so that me and my co-commish can to a post-mortem on the league. If you know of anyone/anywhere, or if you guys are going to shortly, let me know. Thanks.

      • Robby D says:
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        @Carnac:
        You sir are a gentleman and a scholar. I’ve been hunting online and knew I should have come here earlier.

  28. hobag says:
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    Know what? I’m getting you a daiquiri. You deserve it, mang. Thanks for the laughs (and the insight).

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      No problem, thanks!

  29. mraccoe says:
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    Do I get a pat on the back for finishing in 2nd in a H2H Keeper league despite rostering Kemp, Hamilton and Ike Davis?

    Thanks for all your help despite myself this year.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yikes, you would’ve finished two above the champ without those guys…

  30. OaktownSteve says:
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    Still not sure who he is or where he came from but I should probably look into it: Matt Carpenter

    Something you probably didn’t know but will want to think about next year: Arlington was only the 19th best place to hit home runs. I heard their announcer and former GM Tom Greive on MLB radio yesterday and he said when the ball park was built they made it so that it could be easily reconfigured. In the off-season they put a model of the stadium in a water tank with die in it to simulate wind currents and based on what they found they rebuilt the stadium club behind home plate and the end result was no more jet stream. Interesting that it coincided with the departure of Hamilton, who benefited from it more than anybody.

    Corollary to the above: Texas had the 4th best ‘pen ERA, and the 10th best team ERA in MLB. Puts their staff in a different fantasy light going into next year.

    Guy who helped your fantasy team a and you never even said thank you: AJ Griffin…36 homers allowed

    • mraccoe says:
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      @OaktownSteve:

      Luckily for us A’s fans, of his 36 HR’s allowed, 25 solo shots, 7 of the 2 run variety.

      • OaktownSteve says:
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        @mraccoe:

        Yep. Attack the zone, pitch to the scoreboard even if it means throwing pitches that end up near the scoreboard. I wonder if he gets a division series start.

        • mraccoe says:
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          @OaktownSteve:

          I think he gets game 4. With Gray most likely going game 3, we need a “veteran” going in game 4 just in case. Would not be comfortable with Gray and Straily in the rotation both pitching in Detroit.

          • OaktownSteve says:
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            @mraccoe:

            I kind of want to see Gray go game two at home. Shelter the rook a little.

            I’m worried about Parker though. His velo is way down. Hope the days off help.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ha, on AJ Griffin — That’s very interesting about Arlington, I had noticed there were less high scoring games this year, but if you look at their lineup, besides Beltre, they don’t really have a true slugger… So who would’ve hit their homers? More from AJ? Murphy? Kinsler? I suppose…

      • OaktownSteve says:
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        @Grey:

        I think it hurt David Murphy and Moreland probably as much as anybody. Who would have thought of the Brothers McMurphy, David, Donnie and Daniel, that David would be the least valuable this year?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Yeah, David seemed to get old fast this year, or missed Hambone…

    • OaktownSteve says:
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      @OaktownSteve:

      Deja Vu Time: Let’s go back to off-season leading up to 2011 and pull all the site content and do the following: Find: “Jose Bautista”….Replace with “Chris Davis”. We’ll save ourselves a lot of time and a lot of exposure to the word “regression.”

      That’s Delicious Gravy: Lucroy gave you a good fantasy season and topped it off with 9 bags from the C slot.

      Among players who drove in at least 100 runs, who gave you the most steals? You’ll never get this. Ok maybe you can get this. Don’t google yet. Think dammit. None other than Alfonso Soriano with 18.

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Wow, that’s absolutely insane about Soriano, great pull…

        • Big Magoo

          Big Magoo says:
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          @OaktownSteve: @Grey: “Zombino” of the year Award: Alfonso Soriano

          • Pardon Me Madam, But Your Mipples Are Leaking says:
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            @Big Magoo: by a long shot.

  31. Fungazi says:
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    I’m giving out awards to teams in my league:

    The Superman: Guy that finishes top 3 and only made 8 moves all year
    The I don’t give a shit, OK?: Guy that doesn’t finish last even though he started Youkilis all year and had Shelby Miller benched.
    The Kipnis: Guy that spams trade offers, changes his trading block every morning and then disappears after the all-star break
    The Waiver hog: uses 20 – 30 adds per day it seems and usually doesn’t have a player that was drafted in the top 100

    Thats all I got for now

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      HA! Love The Kipnis…

  32. J-FOH says:
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    Where is BJ’s award and what happened to the cleaning lady story?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Cleaning lady story is tomorrow, I think… Or Thursday… BJ won an award from Carnac… I guess I blocked out any thoughts of a BJ now that I’m getting married…

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: hahaahaha…..The biggest disappointment in not delivering what was advertised….BJ Upton

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Haha, yup

    • Carnac says:
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      Yes, BJ Upton was sentenced to Carnac’s 2013 Bronze Skewer. I wanted to do a blow job joke-free write up of how historically bad his season was, but BJ had me gagging. Ugh, see?

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Carnac: hey when you choke you choke….damn, I can’t do it either. I laughed so hard at the small sample size that I didn’t realize it wasn’t the sample size, it was the actual size….Oh f**k this, this is impossible. BJ sucks

        • OaktownSteve says:
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          @J-FOH:

          So you’re saying you both blew it?

          • J-FOH says:
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            @OaktownSteve: I blew it and didn’t even get the courtesy reach around….wait, what?

    • Pardon Me Madam, But Your Mipples Are Leaking says:
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      @J-FOH: 1 point! Ha!

  33. Wake Up says:
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    Here are the:

    “They were on your WW at some point this year…you picked them up and they helped you win your H2H playoffs Awards”

    Power- Neil Walker (not kidding)

    Speed- Craig Gentry

    Overall Production- (including milk) Mipple Madams

    Pitching- pitchers don’t win you H2H championships!

    Honorable Mention- Dice-K (now go commit Sapporo)

    PS Sapporo is the thing with the sword right?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Short-lived giveaway with Sapporo…

      • Wake Up says:
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        @Grey: Is that good?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Of course!

    • OaktownSteve says:
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      @Wake Up:

      I’ve fallen on my Sapporo before…granted it was my 10th Sapporo.

      Jerk-O hit 3 homers and drove in 10 the last week of the season to lead all MLBers in both.

      • Wake Up says:
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        @OaktownSteve: I saw that….but the playoffs are a couple weeks and Walker was better…shockingly…

        I’m not recommending any of these guys…just surprised by how good they were during the playoffs…

  34. willy says:
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    Hey Wizard Man Grey!

    In my sal based keeper I’m talking to the Braun owner… He told me his price would be a young great ace-like potential min contract arm and a first round pick (which is really a 13th round pick because we keep 12 players). I think that’s very reasonable of him… told him he could pick between Archer, Minor and Kluber with my first rounder. He seemed excited about my offer and said would think about which one he wants and get back to me.

    Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t see Braun regressing much next season and am excited about adding him to my core. Do you see Braun as a top 5 player next season if he’s healthy? Should we all still be big on the Hebrew Hammer?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I see him regressing, and doubt he’s a top five player… I’d still send one of those arms for him…

      • Homer at the Bat says:
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        @Grey: At the trade deadline in a 12 team, 12 keeper H2H/points league (in which I was sadly missing the playoffs due to bad luck in week-to-week matchups), I traded Fielder, Choo, Toriiiiiii and Gardner for Stanton and Braun. The team I traded with won the playoffs, but it’s good deal for me going forward (and a win-win deal overall), right?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Sounds solid moving forward…Not bad at all…

  35. booya says:
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    I’m in another 10 team H2H 6×6 (OPS & K/9) keeper league. Here’s the guys I’m considering keeping with my $100 budget…

    VOTTO 15
    CARPENTER 15
    BRUCE 15
    CARGO 10
    TRUMBO 10
    SEGURA 10
    marte 5
    holliday 15

    WAINWRIGHT 15
    SHELBY MILLER 5
    CINGRANI 5
    cliff lee 15
    ubaldo 5
    ryu 5
    cj wilson 5
    burnett 5

    I put the guys I’m leaning towards in caps. Who would you keep?

    Thanks!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’d go Marte and Ubaldo over Trumbo…

  36. matt says:
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    Carpenter had a hell of a year in H2H points def won’t be going in the 220 a.d.p. range next season.

    • matt says:
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      @matt: he scored almost 100 more points than Zobrist who was adp around what 90-100 and finished 1 spot higher than Votto? (Say what) Who was a 1st round pick in most leagues!

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        Yeah, Carpenter had a good year, doubt it’s repeatable…

  37. FMFBL says:
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    Anything you saw this year that leads you to believe Matt Carpenter is due for major regression next year? The guy was so consistent in OBP and counting stats.
    55 doubles and his OBP splits per month:
    APRIL: .333
    MAY: .447
    JUNE .402
    JULY .349
    AUG .367
    SEP .441

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      You can’t rely on counting stats for fantasy value… Allen Craig gets hurt in April and suddenly Carpenter’s a 85 runs guy…

  38. herschel says:
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    @Grey: thanks for a great season. good luck with all of the wedding ish. mazel, mazel my man….

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Thanks, man!

  39. costaricanchata says:
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    heard some guys on blog-talk
    hoping for a repeat A’s / Reds match-up
    the 90’s one …. not the untainted one from the 70’s

    for my money ,
    we already beat those guys .
    bring on the new clementes !!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I’m with you…

  40. goodfold2 says:
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    not baseball related but if anyone wants to join a late start fantasy hockey league at yahoo 14 team H2H each category with extra cats added (blocks/hits/faceoffs/short handed and power play pts). URL http://hockey.fantasysports.yahoo.com/league/missed5days. Email Jason at goodfold2@yahoo.com. thanks. Free league with 25 man rosters. Draft is this Sat at 9:00 PM eastern. I need 12 more people.

    • goodfold2 says:
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      @goodfold2: deeper than most fantasy hockey leagues, with more scoring categories. tell your friends, anyone welcome.

  41. slew says:
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    with Hultzen’s shoulder and labrum surgery, what’s the timetable for these types of injuries?
    Is he toast for the 2014 season?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yup, probably… Looking at maybe an August/September return…

  42. Max Power says:
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    As a perennial 9th/10th/11th place finisher in a 12 man 5×5 league, I would like to thank you Grey for helping me make decisions on my way to a 2nd place regular season finish & tournament championship!

    Max Power

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      No problem, congrats!

  43. costaricanchata says:
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    watching liriano pitch to the 2nd batter (ludwick)
    and the fans behind home-plate have begun chanting :
    “let’s go bucs . let’s go bucs . let’s go bucs .”

    brings up memories of my trip to pnc park , two years ago .
    clown fans that either don’t or don’t know how to root for their ball club .
    go watch football .

    • costaricanchata says:
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      @costaricanchata:

      “cueto . cueto . cueto ”
      now that’s more like it !!

      • Grey

        Grey says:
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        The meltdown has begun…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ha

  44. costaricanchata says:
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    good for byrd !

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Fly away, Byrd!

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @Grey: i had that bum in 2012. kept him for around a month. He hit (no kidding) around .060 on my team, for nearly 4 weeks.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Ha, sounds about right

  45. goodfold2 says:
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    compared to last year, cueto got fat. He looks terrible today too. Damn liriano’s terrible start from last week kept me from making money on PIT today. Looks good so far today though.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Jason LaRue prolly sneaking him high cholesterol snacks…

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @Grey: swedish protein bars, like in mean girls.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Awesome

  46. costaricanchata says:
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    walker … hometown hero .

  47. costaricanchata says:
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    dusty baker trying to manage a bullpen .
    like a fish out of water .
    game’s over now .

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Ha, so true…

  48. Matt says:
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    Just wanted to thank Razzball for helping me win my money league again this season (twice in three years). I didn’t just win, I freaking destroyed the rest of my league: Swiggy, AuShizz, Adam Jones, Wilin Rosario, Scherzer, Wainright, Ryu. It was a fun year, looking forward to more great fairy-tale baseball advice next season. Thanks again.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      No problem, congrats!

  49. Ro_Bauti says:
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    Player I most regret trading away/for was McCutchen/Iwakuma for Kemp/Buchholz. Blech! They occupied my 2 DL spots the entire year! It is a keeper league so hopefully Kemp comes back 100% and starts hitting again, but in the Chris Brown sort of way.

  50. David says:
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    Grey,
    Just want to thank you and the rest of the staffers for a successful championship season. When I hug and kiss my bobblehead I will be thinking of that glorious bushy mustachio of yours. Not that you may give two shats for the rest of my post, but you did contribute to my decisions.

    Anyways, from my player pool who had the honor of contributing to my glory:
    AL MVP: Miggy

    NL MVP: Goldy (traded Jupton for him on 5/1, what a steal)

    AL Cy Young: Anibal Sanchez (although had Scherzer since 7/1 Anibal bolstered my staff from AL until the reinforecements came). Honorable mentions Iwakuma (since early august, awesome)

    NL Cy Young: Fernandez (although had Zimmermann all season, when he went limp, Jose stayed strong and consistent for me). Honorable mentions Lee (since early august).

    AL LVP: RA Dickey. Kept him and ended up dropping him for Rick Porcello when he was dominating. Honeymoon lasted for 2 starts before I lost sleep thinking of what I did. That was probably my lowest point in the season. Honorable mention: Morrow.

    NL LVP: Cahill/Medlen. They can share it.

    Fantasy POS: Dickey. Have to give it to him. He forced me into desperation.

    Player regretted trading for/giving up: regret giving up Machado although I packaged him, some scrubs, and future draft picks for Votto, Iwakuma, Lee, Kipnis, Fielder, Mujica, Bautista, Granderson, and some minor Sv options. That was my dump deal. But I can’t complain too much.

    Best Trade: This one is tough. I’m not going to consider the dump trade I made before the deadline which was sweet. The 1st was Hosmer/Upton for Goldshmidt/Prado or Scherzer for Brown/Cobb. I think I’d have to go with Goldy deal. Loved having him this season.

    SAGNOF: SB – Marte. Led my team and cost me an 18th round pick. Honorable Mention, Leonys.
    S – Benoit. Didn’t lead my team by far but picked him up off waivers.

    Slam n Legs: Trout no doubt.

    The championship roster:
    C Pierzynski
    1b Goldschmidt
    2b Kipnis
    3b Miguel Cabrera
    SS Zobrist
    MI Villar (although this spot should go to Hardy, had to drop him for SAGNOF)
    CI Votto
    OF Bruce
    OF Trout
    OF Marte
    DH Fielder
    DH Victorino
    Bench: Span, Granderson, Bautista
    SP: Scherzer, Sanchez, Fernandez, Iwakuma, Lee, Strasburg, Zimmermann
    RP: Mo, Grilli, Balfour, Benoit, Frieri, Rosenthal, Ziegler

    Honarable mentions (players who contributed enough): JUpton, DomBrown, Torii Hunter, Machado, Leonys, Prado, Hardy, LaRoche, Medlen, Cobb, Melancon, Hector Santiago

    Thanks again for the time.

  51. Hal Incandenza says:
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    I originally posted this in Mach Ado About Knee Thing, but it was a late post and seems fitting to re-post here.

    While I don’t think it would have made up the total difference, I finished second in my 6×6 Roto to the team that picked up J-Fer and Prado after I dropped them. Our respective lines for these two are below.

    Jose Fernandez    IP     H    ER    BB     K     W    SV    HD   ERA  WHIP
    Mine 9 12 9 5 6 0 0 0 9 1.89
    His 128.2 77 25 41 143 10 0 0 1.75 0.92

    Prado    GP     H/AB     R    HR   RBI    SB   AVG   OPS
    Mine 66 62/263 29 5 24 1 0.236 0.619
    His 59 83/248 30 8 47 2 0.335 0.895

    I may be waxing a bit Magnolia when I think it, but there has to be more than coincidence here.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Yeah, it hurts more because of the team that picked them up beat you, but wowzers that line he got from J-Fer… There’s a new post for followups…

  52. the hungarian hippo says:
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    I’m shocked Masterson beat out all hodgepadres. Makes me want to stream bloody murder! I kid. Great stuff as always Grey.

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