Ryan Zimmerman has a strained intercostal, which runs along the ocean from Miami to Georgia (I believe). Tough break for those making the drive up the coast and for Zimmerman’s owners. It sounds like he’s donezo. The Nats will have Bowden’s old Segway, that was in storage, man 3rd for the rest of the season. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Pablo Sandoval – The Giants moved Sandoval to the bench. They then moved 700 lbs. of sandbags to the other side to keep it balanced.
Juan Uribe – 2-for-4, 6 RBIs and 2 homers. Sandoval cheered the loudest, smacking his belly like Kamala.
Freddy Sanchez – 4-for-5, as he filled in for Sandoval and got more hits than he did in like the last two months.
Madison Bumgarner – 7 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 9 Ks. Has been coasting in September and gets the Diamondbacks in his last start.
Ryan Dempster – 1 2/3 IP, 9 ER. Bad time to bring home a grenade.
Ian Kennedy – Left with an undisclosed reason. If he shows up in 9 months with a kid, we’re gonna know what happened.
Kelly Johnson – Grabbed a slam & legs off the buffet line as Stephen Drew stayed hot under a chafing dish and added another homer.
CC Sabathia – 5 1/3 IP, 7 ER. Bad day for the zaftig.
Prince Fielder – Hit his 31st homer. *clears throat* Are you implying I’m skinny? Sorry, Prince.
Dallas Braden – 8 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit. Phew, I’m not sure I could have handled another session of him getting googly-eyed with his grandmother.
Mike Aviles – Hit another homer. You’re waiting too long if you haven’t picked him up yet.
Felix Hernandez – 8 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks and a loss. F-Her is the sole reason why I’m going to finish near first in multiple leagues but probably won’t win because of, uh, wins, or lack thereof. From ESPN, “In Hernandez’s 12 losses, the Mariners have scored seven runs while Hernandez has been the pitcher of record, including no runs in his last five losses. He’s on pace to become the 12th AL pitcher since 1920 to pitch more than 200 innings and have an ERA less than 2.40 but fewer than 16 wins.” I wanna kill someone. Primarily, a Mariners hitter.
Shawn Hill – 5 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks. Because I’m a sucker for Shawn Hill for some unknown reason like your girl’s a sucker for Meg Ryan, I’ll probably be watching Hill closely in Spring Training next year. Right now, too much risk to give him a whirl.
Jose Bautista – Hit his 50th homer. Just as I predicted…for, um, Mark McGwire in 1999. Remember those 50 homers from Bautista next time someone says “Hitters are much more predictable than pitchers.” Actually, I say that.
Daniel Descalso – 4-for-5 with a steal. The Cardinals prospect now has 4 RBIs in two games with 5 hits in 9 ABs. Hot dog, we got a wiener! Descalso looks like a poor man’s Pedroia, which is barely rosterable unless he’s hot. You might catch lightning in a bottle for the short term. But ocekávání, which is me putting expectations in Czech.
Albert Pujols – Hit his 40th and 41st homers yesterday. This guy who was drafted one pick after Alfredo Amezaga isn’t doing too bad.
Danny Espinosa – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer in the last two games. He’ll be discussed in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell. It’ll go something like this, “Blah blah blah Espinosa! blah blah blah Buy! blah blah blah Dracula!”
Michael Morse – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and now has 3 homers this week with two homers in as many games. I’ve now reached my touting Michael Morse quota for the year. One more and I’ll have to pay a nickel to Willingham for the copyrighted materials Morse is using.
Andrew Bailey – Done for the year. Well, dur. Of course, he was going to see Dr. Freeze. I grabbed Breslow where I could, in the non-perverse way.
Yadier Molina – Shut down for the year. Luckily, we still have Alfred Molina.
Fred Lewis – Out for the year with his 5th bunion-related injury in the last two years. Proof that you can dodge the draft if you move to Canada but you can’t dodge swollen bursal sacs on the mesophalangeal joint.