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Ryan Zimmerman has a strained intercostal, which runs along the ocean from Miami to Georgia (I believe). Tough break for those making the drive up the coast and for Zimmerman’s owners. It sounds like he’s donezo. The Nats will have Bowden’s old Segway, that was in storage, man 3rd for the rest of the season. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Pablo Sandoval – The Giants moved Sandoval to the bench. They then moved 700 lbs. of sandbags to the other side to keep it balanced.

Juan Uribe – 2-for-4, 6 RBIs and 2 homers. Sandoval cheered the loudest, smacking his belly like Kamala.

Freddy Sanchez – 4-for-5, as he filled in for Sandoval and got more hits than he did in like the last two months.

Madison Bumgarner – 7 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 9 Ks. Has been coasting in September and gets the Diamondbacks in his last start.

Ryan Dempster – 1 2/3 IP, 9 ER. Bad time to bring home a grenade.

Ian Kennedy – Left with an undisclosed reason. If he shows up in 9 months with a kid, we’re gonna know what happened.

Kelly Johnson – Grabbed a slam & legs off the buffet line as Stephen Drew stayed hot under a chafing dish and added another homer.

CC Sabathia – 5 1/3 IP, 7 ER. Bad day for the zaftig.

Prince Fielder – Hit his 31st homer. *clears throat* Are you implying I’m skinny? Sorry, Prince.

Dallas Braden – 8 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit. Phew, I’m not sure I could have handled another session of him getting googly-eyed with his grandmother.

Mike Aviles – Hit another homer. You’re waiting too long if you haven’t picked him up yet.

Felix Hernandez – 8 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks and a loss. F-Her is the sole reason why I’m going to finish near first in multiple leagues but probably won’t win because of, uh, wins, or lack thereof. From ESPN, “In Hernandez’s 12 losses, the Mariners have scored seven runs while Hernandez has been the pitcher of record, including no runs in his last five losses. He’s on pace to become the 12th AL pitcher since 1920 to pitch more than 200 innings and have an ERA less than 2.40 but fewer than 16 wins.” I wanna kill someone. Primarily, a Mariners hitter.

Shawn Hill – 5 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks. Because I’m a sucker for Shawn Hill for some unknown reason like your girl’s a sucker for Meg Ryan, I’ll probably be watching Hill closely in Spring Training next year. Right now, too much risk to give him a whirl.

Jose Bautista – Hit his 50th homer. Just as I predicted…for, um, Mark McGwire in 1999. Remember those 50 homers from Bautista next time someone says “Hitters are much more predictable than pitchers.” Actually, I say that.

Daniel Descalso – 4-for-5 with a steal. The Cardinals prospect now has 4 RBIs in two games with 5 hits in 9 ABs. Hot dog, we got a wiener! Descalso looks like a poor man’s Pedroia, which is barely rosterable unless he’s hot. You might catch lightning in a bottle for the short term. But ocekávání, which is me putting expectations in Czech.

Albert Pujols – Hit his 40th and 41st homers yesterday. This guy who was drafted one pick after Alfredo Amezaga isn’t doing too bad.

Danny Espinosa – 1-for-3, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer in the last two games. He’ll be discussed in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell. It’ll go something like this, “Blah blah blah Espinosa! blah blah blah Buy! blah blah blah Dracula!”

Michael Morse – 2-for-3, 3 RBIs and now has 3 homers this week with two homers in as many games. I’ve now reached my touting Michael Morse quota for the year. One more and I’ll have to pay a nickel to Willingham for the copyrighted materials Morse is using.

Andrew Bailey – Done for the year. Well, dur. Of course, he was going to see Dr. Freeze. I grabbed Breslow where I could, in the non-perverse way.

Yadier Molina – Shut down for the year. Luckily, we still have Alfred Molina.

Fred Lewis – Out for the year with his 5th bunion-related injury in the last two years. Proof that you can dodge the draft if you move to Canada but you can’t dodge swollen bursal sacs on the mesophalangeal joint.

  1. tall chicks says:
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    Grey I feel like I should claim a Fantasy Gain on my next tax return thanks to your analysis all year. I only won’t cause I pay enough taxes. Just wanna say thanks for all the great forecasting and hilarity I’ve enjoyed this season.

  2. jsp2014 says:
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    “Ryan Dempster – 1 2/3 IP, 9 ER. Bad time to bring home a grenade.”

    that almost made sleeping with that grenade worth it. those 2 teams are now part of the GFF.

  3. Tony says:
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    1) is it me or is half the league getting hurt, shutdown, or faking injuries so they dont have to play the rest of the year now?

    2) kill jose lopez, what a turd….

    3) happy friday

  4. Anonymous says:
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    @Tony: Yes. Apparently, Hanley is done now too. At least I can run Aviles out there. Totally the same.

  5. Wilsonian says:
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    Bettah spaht staht fah tahmarrah…

    D.Lowe @WAS

    or

    Smokin’ Bud @PIT?

  6. ThE sHiT says:
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    @Grey: Good morning! TGIAF! If you really want to know the “A” part, email me, too graphic for your site. But it’s effin hilarious. Hint: rhymes with volcano. Not my term, it’s my friend’s .

    Anywho, still like C. Lewis @OAK over:
    Norris @ PIT
    Capuano vs. FLA
    Matusz @ TOR

    Thanks dude!

  7. Malacoda says:
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    This has been the year of the pitcher to say the least. Hitters were so unpredictable. Is anybody else here owed about 15 hr and 50 rbi by Ryan Howard? How about 40 batting points and 25 rbi by Teixeira? !5 hr and 25 rbi by Braun? Prince Fielder, wtf? Beltre and Chris Young are back from the dead.

    Is there anybody here that wasn’t able to cobble together a 3.5 ERA with total scrubs in a mixed league? Since when was that so easy? Have you ever seen so many sub 3 ERA pitchers? Oswalt, Myers, Hudson, and Weaver all must be in a hot tub time machine.

    Ridiculous.

  8. If I see Dempster in the video arcade, I’m going to throw him up against the Centipede machine and scream, “you shit on my house!” like the kid in Better Off Dead.

    Fortunately my bats are smoking, because my ratios are inflated like F.U. Panda. The image of him smacking his belly like Kamala is amazing.

    Hey speaking of big fat heels, did you read this piece about Abdullah The Butcher? http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/26/sports/26wrestler.html

  9. Greg says:
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    Looking to get rid of wins as a category in a 5×5. Any suggestions on a replacement category?

  10. Frank Rizzo says:
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    WTF? No mention of Carlos Gonzalez and the grand slam and legs?

  11. fredaycouples says:
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    So when will Zimmerman go on the DL?

    Also, which door do you to choose:
    –Danny Valencia
    –Melvin Mora
    –Wilson Betemit
    –Chris Johnson

    I’m leaning toward Valencia but as a twins fan I’m not sure if those are my homer glasses.

  12. papasmurf says:
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    This Bautista dude is unreal. Even during the roids era, we very rarely see 50 homers out of nowhere like this. Brady Anderson had a season like this, but he was clearly juiced. Not sure about Bautista. Earlier this season, a team in my league traded Holiday for Bautista and I was thinking wtf was he doing, but it turns out not to be a bad trade result-wise.

  13. Livin On A Prayer says:
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    I am in a down to the wire battle for Quality Starts and K’s and I am running out of innings.
    Do you think Garza and Cueto will get me any or should they be dropped for a streamer?

  14. Wilsonian says:
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    I’ve got 4 pitchers going today, and only three spots unless I bench a closer. Here are my options for starters:

    Kershaw @ ARZ
    Verlander v. MIN
    Lincecum @ COL
    Arroyo @ SD

    Here are my options for closers:

    Soria
    Capps
    Feliz
    Hensley
    Lyon

    What do ya think? Bench a closer and pitch all four starters, or bench a starter?

  15. TheEvilEmpire says:
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    @Grey, you likey dickey vs. Philly?

  16. Tony says:
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    @Malacoda: 2010’s pitching has been sick. In my RCL league i currently have a 12 and I had a sub 3 ERA for 85% of the year. I was at like 2.90 something or other forever until wainwright and a few others crapped the bed recently… it has been a wild year of down offense and sick pitching.

  17. ChiSox says:
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    Dempster just had a diarrhea on my season in a points league. Oh well, there’s always next year. Thanks for the help Grey, and for giving me punch lines to use with my buddies….enjoy the offseason

  18. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @tall chicks: Thanks for the kind words!

    @jsp2014: Yup.

    @Tony: Septumblers. Happy Friday to you too!

    @Wilsonian: Lowe

    @ThE sHiT: Morning! I’d go with Lewis.
    @Malacoda: Agreed… In a 20 team league, I have a sub-3 ERA. That’s unheard of.

    @3FingersBrown: Yeah, actually had read that. He owns a rib place!

    @Greg: Quality Starts.

    @Frank Rizzo: Sorry, actually wrote this post (and comments) on my phone b/c I lost Internet.

    @fredaycouples: Players don’t get DL usually this time a year. Valencia…

    @papasmurf: Yeah, it’s been unreal.

    @Livin On A Prayer: Stream…

    @Wilsonian: Bench Capps.

    @TheEvilEmpire: I’d throw him in most leagues.

  19. struggler says:
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    Does EY and/or Stewart play tonight?

  20. GopherDay says:
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    My team has a “loaded” offense. It made it to the finals in the playoffs, but I have…Braun who just got plunked, Tex who has been TERRRIBLE, Hamilton who has broken ribs, and Zimm who is now out. Yeah, there goes first place…Oh well, a great season it has been!

  21. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @ChiSox: No problem.
    And you too!

    @struggler: Probably off the bench.

    @GopherDay: That sucks, but is the nature of H2H.

  22. GopherDay says:
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    @Grey: Yeah, I like Roto better! In my keeper I have a 10 point lead, with a lot of the same players, and I’m coasting to the finish.

  23. Wilsonian says:
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    @Grey: thanks dood.

    Just to use this as a sounding board…just noticed that a guy who’s virtually done for the year is snagging up available FAs like it’s his job to stock up for next season. Really screwing up my streaming capabilities while I’ll try to actually win now. I think he’s just bitter because he won this league the first 2 seasons and is out this year.

  24. brad says:
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    have Liriano’s wheels officially come off? should i dump his ass for old Mcdonald, Julie’s Chacin, or Chris Young?

  25. Eddy says:
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    @Grey:
    CarGo, much like he did in last night’s game, put me right back in my matchup, up 6-4. Keeping him for 13th round value is going to be a dream come true. I have a crush on that guy.

    Anyways, I really need to capture your patented lightning in a bottle Grey. EY Jr is still not starting (though he pinch hit yesterday) so I just need a Util man for a couple of days.

    Neil Walker
    Betancourt
    Espinosa
    Chris Johnson
    Cust
    Raburn
    Thome

    Pretty wide group of guys, but I don’t need anything specifically. At least not SB. Ok, fine, you got me I’m looking mainly for HR and R.

  26. Eddy says:
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    @Wilsonian:
    If it’s a keeper league and he’s stacking up guys like Jennings, Hellickson, or rookies in general (regardless of whether or not he’ll keep them) that’s fair game. Now if he’s stacking FA pitchers that have absolutely no keeper value, that’s just a sore loser.

  27. Christopher says:
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    @Anonymous: They are the same except you can, should you desire, drop Aviles, whereas Yahoo! will make us keep the BadRam on our roster throughout the playoffs…

  28. Wilsonian says:
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    @Eddy: well, I guess he’s technically not out of it, still fighting for 3rd or 4th place (which garners you $0). But it’s a small league, and he’s picking up Zambrano and the like, guys he’s not going to keep next year. He has Wainwright and F-Her who would be way ahead of Big Z on the keeper board in an 8 Team league where we only keep 5. He’s one of my good friends, so I was giving him shit about it and he said he was prepping for next year. I was planning on doing the same thing, but later on when I’ve either got the championship won or lost, so I can’t bitch too much…but I was planning on snagging Hell-boy and Jennings, etc., basically just so others can’t have the option of keeping them. I just wanted to bitch a little simply because it’s messing with my shot at $250.

  29. Christopher says:
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    @3FingersBrown: “I want my two dollars!”

    My teams is suffering just the opposite: ratios are fine, but my hitters may as well be a bunch of monkeys effing a whiffleball…

  30. tHe sHiT says:
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    @Grey: Thanks.

  31. Wilsonian says:
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    @Grey: like I said in my response to Eddy, I only wanted to bitch because it’s screwing with my shot at $250, I’m not really all that upset because he’s one of my good friends and I was planning on doing the same thing, but later on…and picking up people who have some keeper value next year. Zambrano has value now, but he won’t have ANY next season in this small of a league. People like Hellickson, Jennings, Stanton (who are all FAs now) will have some value because they could be trade bait for someone willing to take a shot. Z (I am a Cubs fan) has no value next year, keeper wise, at least.

  32. Matt Crapps says:
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    @ Wilsonian / Eddy / whoever

    Is there a Yahoo or ESPN position on burning streamables? If I’m in a roto lead with comfortable pitchers and just add/dropping good streamers to force them onto a two day waiver wire (and ruining their use by the competition). Seems kind of shady and poor sportsmanship.. but i don’t think technically outlawed. What would commissioners here think of that? Interested in opinions.

  33. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @tHe sHiT: No problem.

    @Wilsonian: One league to avoid something like this we have $2 fee for September pickups.

  34. Wilsonian says:
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    @Grey: I really like that idea. I’m kind of wondering if there is a way in Yahoo to do limited pickups in September. It’s a small league, and we’re all friends, so some kind of fee might work, or only a fee if you’re out of it and picking people up, or something along those lines.

  35. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @Wilsonian: Yeah, then the winners split the pot anyway so they get their pickup money back and it stops others from acting a damn fool.

    @Matt Crapps: There’s no position. All’s fair…

  36. struggler says:
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    If they both start….More of a chance of Bourgeois swiping a bag tonight or Thome going deep on Verlander who he owns. 7hrs in 45abs.

  37. struggler says:
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    Thanks…last question for the day…Thome or Bruce @ Petco vs CY.

  38. brad says:
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    @Matt Crapps: I know in ESPN if you pick up a guy and immediately drop him he doesn’t go on waivers. You gotta keep him for 24 hours for waivers to come into play. Sort of prevents that from being a problem.

  39. Vince says:
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    Cueto on Wednesday and now Dempster yesterday… In my H2H Championship matchup… THANKS GUYS

  40. ruah says:
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    Need a Util guy for the weekend with RBI the main need: Gaby Sanchez, Uribe, Morse, Ludwick, D Johnson

  41. Griff says:
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    Zimmermann v ATL, Beckett @ NYY. Either of those guys worth starting in H2H playoffs?

  42. royce! says:
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    Which 2B for last week of h2h playoffs?:

    Mora
    Lowrie
    Espinosa

  43. Wilsonian says:
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    @Grey: definitely liking that idea…I’m the commish, so I might have to propose that to the league (or just make an executive decision – Fidel style! Ha!).

  44. Grey

    Grey says:
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    @royce!: Yeah, I’d be impressed if he does but I hold little hope.

    **********There’s a new post for followups.*********

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