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Here’s what my crystal ball said on March 5th, “(Medlen) averaged over a K an inning last year.  Will start the year as an MR, barring an injury to someone… *cough* Jar Jar *cough*.  Medlen will get into the rotation shortly.  Meesa tinks Jar Jar won’t make it the whole year healthy.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Kris Medlen is now the starter as the Braves wash Jurrjens out of their hair for at least three weeks while he deals with a strained hamstring.  I grabbed Medlen in one league where it made sense.  He gets a tough first matchup going against the Phillies at Citizens Flank.  If Medlen pitches well in his first start, he’ll be added everywhere.  So depending how bad you need him, you add him now or prepare to rush to grab him on Saturday.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jason Heyward – Left yesterday’s game with a sore groin, which would be a good name for a Viagra-type drug, but spelled “soar” and with an exclamation mark.  Oh, and speaking of groins…

Bobby Cox – The congratulatory cake made by the Senate for Bobby Cox had an unfortunate misspelling.  Maybe Jim Eisenreich was the baker.

Andy Pettitte – 5 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 2 Ks and left with elbow inflammation.  That’s now three of the core four that are sore.  Jeter better take it easy on the pasta diving.

Nick Johnson – 3-for-3 with a homer.  He has a .171 average and a .396 OBP.  That almost seems impossible, right?  Seriously, no joke.  Batting in front of Tex and A-Rod and he leads the league in walks.  Incredible.

Alfredo Aceves – Got the save since Joba was used the last two days.  This was after the Orioles pitched Alfredo Simon.  According to Elias Sports Bureau, this was the first time two guys named after pasta sauce appeared in the same game since Alfredo Griffin and Bolognese Penne squared off in 1982.  Actually, they didn’t say that.  But something that was overheard this week at the Elias Sports Bureau compound, “Thomas, in accounting, broke his own record of 37 minutes when he took 45 minutes to sign a birthday card with ‘Your (sic) the best.'”

Adam Jones – Missed the game with dreckitude, I mean, a hip strain.  He’s supposed to play on Thursday.  Yay.

Ty Wigginton – Hit his 9th homer yesterday.  Or the same amount of homers as Andruw Jones.  That’s only 7 more homers than Teixeira.  Pardon me as I go stick my head in the oven.

Aramis Ramirez – Hey, the power of persuasion worked!  Aramis was moved down the order.  Now how about my Powerball numbers coming in!

Kevin Slowey – 5 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 3 Ks and lucky to get out with the Win.  Last year, Slowey had screws put in his wrist and now he’s putting the screws to his owners.  The screws seem to be effecting his pinpoint control that made him the pitcher that he was.  In 2009, through 90+ innings, he had 15 walks.  He has 11 through 34+ innings this year.

Denard Span – 11 for his last 22 and has 7 Steals and 19 Runs on the season.  Heading for exactly the type of season I thought he would when I put him down for 100/10/70/.300/22.

David Ortiz – Hit his third homer in four games, while he bats .171.  Yeah, he’s “not done,” he’s just a “very poor imitation of his younger self.”

Huston Street – Supposed to start a rehab assignment on Monday which will put him on schedule to return in about two weeks.

Franklin Morales – His leash got even shorter last night.  If you’re looking for vulture saves, grab Corpas.

Johnny Damon – Left yesterday’s game with a right calf spasm.  Damon is day-to-day, man. (<–almost a palindrome!)

Miguel Cabrera – 2 homers as he took a double shot off the Slow Twin Fizz.

Alex Avila – Hit his first two homers of the season yesterday.  I grabbed him in a deep 2 catcher league hoping this is a sign of a potential breakout.  He does need to do battle with Laird for the starting job, but Laird’s hitting .141 with one homer and a bruised shin.  Not a braised shin though, which is delicious!

Manny Ramirez – Returns on Saturday after playing today for the Inland Empire, which is on the planet Naboo.

Ian Desmond – 1-for-4 with his third homer.  Now has 3 homers and 3 steals, which is yawnstipating while it’s happening, but it’s still 12/12 at the end of the year.  Now someone just needs to convince Riggleman Desmond should be in the two hole and not the crap that is usually there.

Barry Zito – 7 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks.  His ERA now stands at 1.49.  His xFIP is 4.09, which means he’s getting very lucky, but no one thought Zito was a sub-2 ERA pitcher anyway, right?

Shane Victorino – 2-for-4 with his 6th homer.  Or one more homer than Ryan Howard.  Zoinks!

Carlos Lee – Home run.  Final Lee.

Brandon Morrow – 5 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 9 Ks.  Frequent commenter, penpen, brought up a good point.  With Romero, Morrow and Cecil, the Jays are like the high risk/high reward hodgepadres.  The hodgepodjays:  They’ll give you Ks and solid games against bad teams.  Then tie you to the WHIPping post and get beat in what should be good matchups.

Adam Lind – 2-for-4, and his fourth homer.  He’s one hot streak away from being exactly where he was last year.  Recognize!  Or don’t.  Your call.

Fred Lewis – 5 for his last 10.  So far in his career he’s had “Grandpa” Al Lewis levels of production, but the Jays are pushing the issue with him as their leadoff man, so maybe the stability can produce the 15/15 season he’s hinted at in the past.

Johnny Cueto – 6 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 8 Ks.  Now has back-to-back decent starts.  Yes, I’m a glutton for punishment, but Cueto can pitch well if he finds his groove.

Jose Reyes – 0-for-5 as his average falls to .225.  I’m kinda at the point where I’m glad he’s not batting leadoff so maybe he gets one less at-bat.

Chris Perez – 1 2/3 IP, 3 unearned as he blew the save with the Ticker Shock.

Milton Bradley – Left in the middle of Tuesday’s game telling the manager, “I’m out of here.”  Ironically, Milton Bradley produces Sorry and not Risk.