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Scott Boras got Shin-Soo Choo his Christmas present after all.  A $130 million contract to play for the Texas Rangers of the American League West.  The only stipulation of the contract was Choo will buy the island nation of Bora Bora and change its name to Boras Boras.  A small price to pay for Boras getting him the big bucks.  I wonder what Boras could do for me.  Maybe one-point-two million dollars per page view?  A five hundred thousand bonus for every waxed mustache hair?  A stipend to feed the monkeys that type up these posts?  Ling-Ling wants a banana!  (On side side note, my friend from Frazers’ Edge provided the comic at the bottom of the post.)  Wikipedia tells me Dallas has the 2nd largest Korean population in the southern United States.  Shin-Soo Choo blushes at the thought.  Or maybe he’s just been drinking.  This doesn’t do a whole lot for his fantasy value.  He was already in a great park atop a terrific lineup.  He’s really an odd duck because he’s so damn consistent yet has such dramatic splits.  He regularly bats .320+ vs. righties and barely .200 vs. lefties.  If he has a bad year vs. righties, he’ll be awful.  I’m not talking a .250 or lower year either.  I mean, a .280 year vs. righties would kill him.  Due to his splits, the tightrope he walks is thin but he’s managed to traverse it well thus far, so there’s no reason to think the end is nigh, not to mention no one has any idea what nigh means.  Is it really near?  It’s not saving letters by writing nigh.  Is there a nighby?  Who says that?  The bigger pickle Choo’s brined with this signing is Leonys Martin will be relegated to batting ninth for another year.  There’s no chance he bats 2nd or moves up in the order vs. lefties either because he’s just as bad as Choo vs. them.  For 2014, I’ll give Choo the line of 101/20/59/.277/20.  Anyway, here’s some more offseason moves for 2014 fantasy baseball:

Grant Balfour – As mentioned here after inferring shizz from other places, Balfour’s deal with the Orioles fell through due to a shoulder problem.  The Rays have made closers out of a lot less, so they’re now showing interest in Balfour.  Mean’s while, the Orioles are expressing interest in Fernando Rodney.  The Rays are giggling.  “You think he’s better than an injured Balfour?  You make me laugh, Balty-more.”  The Rays pronounce Baltimore weird.

Kurt Suzuki – Signed with the Twins.  I don’t know why the Twins didn’t just go with Josmil Pinto.  Pinto had shown power in the minors.  Or as a Puerto Rican would say, Pinto beans good in the minors.  Yet, the Twins decided to go with a guy that gives absolutely nothing, aside from clubhouse chemistry.  Hire a stripper for the clubhouse and promote Josmil!

Casey McGehee – There’s a name from the past, huh?  No, Casey McGehee isn’t the girl you went to the prom with.  He’s a third baseman who used to play in the majors, couldn’t hit and went to Japan, where he found success against guys half his size.  Some people call that a bully, but in the US we call that industrious.  You might wonder why on earth we’re talking about a guy who has disappeared for a year.  Guess what?  The Marlins signed him to play third base.  And you thought the Marlins weren’t playing to win.  Pee double eff tee.

Scott Boras's Christmas

  1. Simply Fred

    simply fred says:
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    hmmm…that line for Choo worth $130 mil? rhetorical question.

  2. TJ says:
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    The second largest Korean population in the south? Really?? I hadn’t been counting until now. So Choo, like Danica and all things Dallas (see, ‘boys), is a marketing machine tangentially related to sport? I’m dreaming of a line of kimchi gracing dairy cases stretching to Waco.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @TJ: You still aren’t counting, Wikipedia did…

  3. goodfold2 says:
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    full blown dynasty. Same one with the retarded bidding system. after the 25 or so restricted free agents, we will get into the guys currently sitting out in free agency (unowned). Not asking about bidding yet because that is whole separate problem, but I will be submitting only 1 year deals. Good news is the contracts currently shown on free agents don’t apply, we could in theory sign them for the minimum (so kelly johnson, doesn’t actually cost 6.375 mil, but just what highest bidder bid on him).If nobody else but me bid 400K on him, that’s what he would cost. If i’m currently rostering ciriaco as 2nd CI guy, and schumaker (MI/OF 1.5 mil) and dobbs (CI, 1.5 mil) as bench guys, should i attempt to drop any of them for any of
    blackmon OF
    K.johnson OF/MI/CI
    valencia CI
    aviles MI/CI
    mercer MI
    hoes OF
    crawford (LAD) OF
    grossman OF
    My budget (if I drop all of those mentioned to bid on some of these mentioned) is 32 million (start with 100). I’m imagining Crawford will be bid up way too much. I could also bid more years on younger guys (like blackmon/hoes/grossman) if I wanted to, or restrict them or franchise them (pay real life money) after this year if I want to keep them.
    1. what is the order of drops (if any)
    2. what is the order of adds (if any).
    thinking k.johnson would be worth a bit more due to positional eligibility. already have 4 OF (beltran/leonys/legares/a-jax) for 3 OF spots and 1 util, so need OF less than CI upgrade. the only other use of my 32 mil budget would be to bid on minor league guys (not including those drafted in 2014 real life draft) only during all star break. thanks. before even thinking of bidding want to get str which guys to target.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @goodfold2: Drop them for Crawford, Johnson and Mercer

  4. Matt says:
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    12 team Keeper Trade offer:

    Each team keeps 14 with no penalties.

    Give: Allen Craig, Ortiz, Beltre
    Get: McCutch, Latos, Cruz/Soriano

    I think this one sounds pretty fair (and I love the idea of picking up a young top 5-10 player). Thoughts?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Matt: Sounds solid…Take Soriano

  5. JohnnyM says:
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    I’m pretty sure Suzuki is there to be Pinto’s backup.

    • Grant says:
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      @JohnnyM: I was thinking the same thing, from everything that I have read about it. It helps when you live in Twin Territory.

      • BPro says:
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        @Grant:
        I was going to say this as well – Suzuki is the backup to Pinto from what I have been reading up here in the land of ice and snow.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @JohnnyM: Really? Hmm… I read the exact opposite…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @JohnnyM: As I research more on this, I think you might be right… I haven’t read anything directly from the Twins though, does anyone have a link to that?

  6. Wake Up says:
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    2 HRs/.246 avg/323 obp/318 slg/641 ops

    those are Ellsbury’s great #s vs LHP…

    leadoff hitter Choo had a .347 obp vs LHP!

    Jacoby translated from Native Indian = Runs without Stick

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      @Wake Up: Yeah, you make a good point and why Choo won’t be moved out of the leadoff or benched vs. lefties…

  7. Big AL says:
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    Man to bad the Marlins missed out on Suzuki. What a 2 day bonanza they could of had with him and McGeeheeheehee !!!!!. My god how could anyone be a fan of this team. MLB needs to do a intervention on this team. Stanton has to be psyched. If your a Marlin in the off season you have to completely avoid baseball news or you’d be crying or pissed off all the time. At least they have Fernandez ……

  8. J-FOH says:
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    Chris Perez to sign with the Dodgers, now he can go to the dispensaries in echo park instead of mail ordering his ganja, maybe they can hook him up with Manny Mota

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      I look forward to his entourage to games — Snoop Dogg, Don Magic Juan and Tommy Chong…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Let me guess… Hits from a bong by Cypress?

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Grey: you can’t make this shizz up, just went to look at the lyrics and we got a winner in Hits from the bong….or did you know this line was in there?

            Inhale, exhale
            Just got a ounce in the mail
            I like a blunt or a big fat bowl
            But my double barrel bong is gettin’ me stoned

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Yeah, of course, that’s my jammy jam…

              • J-FOH says:
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                @Grey: I tip my hip hop hat to you Grandmaster Grey

      • J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: Willie Nelson and Woddy harrelson most likely. Has that red neck thing

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Good call… Woody’s a bit of a hippie, raw food guy though… Willie for sure…

          • J-FOH says:
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            @Grey: He and Willie can braid each others hair. This guy is gonna get mad love in LA

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Cornrow Perez! Could see all the Doyer fans doing the same…

              • J-FOH says:
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                @Grey: Doyer fans have no hair, bunch of baldies according to the stereotype.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  That’s true… Solid goatees though…

                  • J-FOH says:
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                    @Grey: odelay

                    • Prez says:
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                      @J-FOH: pass de cervesa holmess!

  9. Phatboy71 says:
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    Any chance Gallardo improves this year Grey?

    • J-FOH says:
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      @Phatboy71: any chance Billy Butler goes down a cup size?

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Seems doubtful

    • J-FOH

      J-FOH says:
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      @Sky: I caught that, maybe you need a color avatar so people don’t get confused

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      My shadow looms large…

      • J-FOH

        J-FOH says:
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        @Grey: like your mustache

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Exactly

  10. ReleasetheMcCracken says:
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    Damn this kills any fantasy value Michael Choice had this season. Which side of these trades do you fall on:

    1. Votto for Carlos Gomez and Matt Harvey
    2. Kinsler for Ellsbury

    Thanks!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Votto… Ellsbury… Choice seems destined for 4th outfielder…

  11. SheriffMcRawDawg says:
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    what’s goin on b*tchez. in a deep 10-team, 2 catcher 5×5, and I’ve got to keep 10 of the following. Definitely some OBVIs in here, but indulge me if you would be so kind:

    Yadier
    A-Gon
    Tulowitzki
    Pedroia
    Avisail
    Kemp
    Marte
    Victorino
    Dunn
    Baez
    Bogaerts
    E-4
    Beltran
    Machado

    Corbin
    Miguel Alfredo Gonzalez
    Hamels
    Kenley
    Scherzer
    Harvey
    Latos

    Thanks

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      On my phone, will have to do it later…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Tulo, Pedroia, Marte, Edwin, Machado, Kenley, Scherzer, Kemp, A-Gon, Latos…

      • @Grey: sweet thanks a lot Grey – was hoping you’d say Kenley – but what about Xander?! sox fan waiting on nomah 2.0! traded my first rounder this year for Kemp, and a 3rd rounder for Hamels, so I’ve got some picks to trade for, too…

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          I could see gambling on Bogaerts there since you have some solid other guys…

  12. Reno 911 says:
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    Hi Grey,

    I picked up John Lackey, Alfonso Sorianno and Bartolo Colon off the waiver wire last year. They all contributed to me winning the league, and I picked them up early enough to where I can keep them. They’d each be $8 next year. Auction H2H points league. We start w/ a $200 cap, and if I kept all three of them, I’d be keeping about $120-worth of players.

    Which–if any–are keepers? I’d take any of them for about $4, but at $8, I’m not sure…

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      None of them probably… How many teams?

      • Reno 911 says:
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        12. I’m thinking the same thing. Maybe see if anyone’s interested in an off-season trade, and if not, throw them back pre-draft.

  13. goodfold2 says:
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    turns out our 5 round 150 player minor leaguer (mostly guys drafted back in 2013 MLB draft) draft happens before unrestricted free agency but after restricted free agency. My Juan Legares actually is restricted (obtained in dempster dumping trade). With a 32 million budget and already having 4 OF’ers (beltran (likely traded by july),a-jax/ leonys/legares) and only room on starting roster for 3 OF’s and 1 util should I put in any kind of bid for Calhoun? (the only restricted free agent I have any interest in at all?). I could bid more than 1 year contract. I have around 36.5 million to spend total (but probably want to leave around 10-15 or so open to have for all star break minor bidding. I have around 7 spots to fill (likely most of them pitchers), attempting right now at these guys
    1. RP qualls and d.carpenter (i’ll come back later for bigger list in case I don’t get either, or only 1)
    2. SP c.lewis (likely won’t want to pay enough to get him) or a.white or c.torres
    3. hitters C.crawford (likley won’t want to pay enough to get him), k.johnson,mercer as improvements at MI/CI and backup spots.
    if I do want to bid on Calhoun (wouldn’t care about getting crawford if I got calhoun) how much isn’t too much? Stupid system where I have to pay what my max bid is if I win it. 100 million total budget all teams start with.

    • goodfold2 says:
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      @goodfold2: sorry, budget that’s free is 32.6 or so. not 36 mil.

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Around two is plenty…

      • goodfold2 says:
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        @Grey: 2 mil, 1 season (could do more seasons) for calhoun, and forget about crawford, if i get him. If I only do 1 season, then next offseason I could still restrict him (but we only get 1 restricted tag, 1 franchise tag, and 1 any type tag). of course, if i give him extra years and he doesn’t keep his job, i’d have to pay half of contract if I cut him.

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          1 season, yeah… I’d bid on Crawford, don’t see why not…

          • goodfold2 says:
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            @Grey: restricted free agent process comes first (calhoun) before we even can bid on guys out in free agent land (like crawford). what’s crawford worth in bids, in case I don’t get calhoun? i would have 5 OF if i got calhoun, only able to play 4 per day.

            • Grey

              Grey says:
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              Lot of factors would play into it…

              • goodfold2 says:
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                @Grey: i’ll get back when i either do or don’t get calhoun then (sometime between dec 25th and jan 6th). the draft comes at that point, and after (early february) comes unrestricted free agency. which is good in some ways, since we might know more about alex smith/c.torres and bullpens in general by then.

                • Grey

                  Grey says:
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                  Yup

  14. SwaggerJackers says:
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    @Grey: Pick 5 in my 10 team roto auction keeper league. OBP instead of AVG. QS instead of W

    Cano ($21)
    Bautista ($10)
    Gomez ($11)
    Segura ($4)
    Myers ($4)
    Fernandez ($4)
    Billy H. ($4)

    Thanks Buddy!

    • Grey

      Grey says:
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      Not Cano or Gomez… Tough choices though

      • SwaggerJackers says:
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        @Grey:

        Hmmm….so you’re down on Cano? I was thinking he’d still put up decent stats for another season or two even in Seattle. Obviously you don’t have your 2014 rankings up yet but would you put Cano lower than the second round?

        • Grey

          Grey says:
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          Nah, Cano’s still solid… It’s not an easy choice but you have a bunch of great guys for very cheap…

  15. Bruce Leroy says:
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    Mr grey. . Happy holidays sir. 12 team real deep keeper. On bare replaces batting avg and slugging percentage replaces home runs.. keep 10
    goldy $15
    Ian Desmond $8
    Machado $2
    Hanley $50
    Gomez $4
    Choo $21
    V mart $4
    Darvish $31
    Strasburg $8
    Sale $4
    Miller $2
    Wacha $1
    Iwakuma $6
    R soriano $4…
    I’ve been trying to trade a starter or two but getting nowhere. We have a minor league system as well and inflation during the auction is insane. I figure throw back Hanley choo soriano and v mart? Choo is an absolute monster in this league and soriano is dirt cheap compared to his auction value. Throw back Darvish instead bc my pitching is still Damn solid? Thanks

  16. SwaggerJackers says:
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    @Grey: Here’s my other league.

    12 team H2H category keeper league (can keep forever)

    Goldy
    Cano
    Tulo
    Harper
    Stanton

    Pick 3.

    • inertiatic says:
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      @SwaggerJackers: if I had Goldy, Harper and Stanton on the same team I’d show my line-up to the ladies and make them swoon. Or whatever it is that girls do when they’re happy, I don’t really know.

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