Don’t let the title fool you, I am by no means a Styx fan. I actually had to look up who sang this song when I decided to use it. Does anyone even say “look up” any more or has the term been officially replaced with “google”. Speaking of Google, whatever happened to the “I’m feeling lucky” button. I wonder how many times Clint Eastwood clicked that thing? I wonder if he sued Google to have the button removed. I have questions that need answers. In the meantime, let’s talk points leagues. For weeks I’ve been promising to focus on pitchers in one of these posts and today’s the lucky day. Do you feel lucky?

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Nothing is a better, giant surprise than a Rubby in the morning!

Rubby De La Rosa has always been a guy with a power fastball and plus slider, but it’s never been enough.  Ks haven’t been there, he couldn’t get lefties out, and he’s looked more and more like Nathan Eovaldi rather than “the next big thing”.  But after yesterday’s outing, Rubby has somehow limited lefties to a .162 average and only allowed 1 homer in 87 LH batters faced.  Compare that to last year, when lefties murdered him for .315 and 20 homers in 410 batters faced.

After a pretty brutal start – including 3 relief appearances due to the D’backs bullpen being overtaxed – I really didn’t think too much about Rubby and his upside.  Kinda thought “he is who we thought he is!”  Wait, that’s a different Arizona sports team…  His last 5 starts have been really good with solid Ks, but I thought for sure the Giants with their bevy of lefties would crash the party.  Alas, we got a Giant surprise!  Here’s how Rubby looked yesterday afternoon in Zona against those Gigantes:

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Baseball is coming. So is winter. By the time you actually read this the start of the Major League season will be less than a day away. And for those of you lazy readers that catch up on Razzball on Monday mornings when you get to your desk, the season will already be three games deep. By the way, if you are one of those Monday morning people, I’d like to point out your first mistake. Fantasy baseball slows down for no one. If you’re not keeping up with baseball’s current events, you’re putting yourself at a disadvantage because I can assure you that at least one person (likely most) in your league is (are). And if you just prefer to get your information from another site, I guess it’s better than nothing, but all biases aside, where else are you going to read a post that was written while sitting on the toilet. Just me, my laptop and my squatty potty. Wait a minute, let me rephrase that a bit. Where else are you going to be able to read a post where the author actually admits to penning it from the throne?

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What goes through J-FOH’s head when he does these ranks? I’m glad you asked. Wait… you didn’t ask? Are you sure? No? Not at all? Sheesh, thanks guys… and four girls. I’m going to be my usually contrarian self and tell you anyway. I’m looking at players from their floor to their ceilings over the next 3-5 years (and beyond). I’m looking at games played over the previous few seasons, projecting risk going forward, and predicting how they will age based on their skill set. A player whose value is heavily dependent upon speed will usually lose that speed going into the 30’s and players with power will usually keep that a little bit longer. There are always guys who defy the odds like David “I never juiced” Ortiz or Adrian Beltre. They are a special breed that should never be slept on ’til the day they retire. There is science, stats, and anecdotal B.S., and then there are “those guys”. Joey Bats and those sweet bat throws would fall into that class for me. Excuse me while I preach for a second. I love bat flips. I think they should be mandatory for any home run after the 7th, 6th for the Yankees. This is a kids game that is suppose to be fun and guys like Mad Bum need to either throw the punch or shut the front door. Any a-hole can stand there shouting with a team behind him. At least Robin Ventura had the cojones to try and fight. (I want that shirt!) Now that we have my major side track out of the way, let’s move down to some words about the list before we get to the list. Note to self, take an english class at the local adult education center next year.

Take on your favorite writers in the 2016 Razzball Commenter Leagues! Join here

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“We all started mainlining fame when we hit it big. I didn’t want to say goodbye to the lights, the drugs, or most importantly, the groupies. Sure, Slater and Screech told me I was out of control popping at least 4 or 5 caffeine pills a night and then hitting the slums of whatever city Zack Attack was in that night to find some anonymous woman to sleep with. But when you’re the biggest backyard birthday party band in the world, how could I not? I could afford any legal over the counter pill I wanted. But all I really wanted, was approval from Mr. Belding.”

– Zack Morris, lead singer, Zack Attack

Much like his fair haired brother in Los Angeles arms, Zack Morris, Zack Greinke has been on the attack all season, sporting a ridiculously low 1.61 ERA. But, just as danger waited around the corner for Morris as he chased the fruits of his fame, so too might Greinke have a crashing to earth experience himself.

Greinke has been carrying a FIP of 2.77, an XFIP of 3.22 and a SIERA of 3.31, meaning that, good as he is and has been, he probably shouldn’t have been that good. Still here he is pitching well and posting solid, if unspectacular DraftKings points. Over his last 15 games, Greinke has put up 26.38 DK points. It’s really good, but at his price of over $13,200, it needs to offer more than that. We’ve been paying up for aces and haven’t been disappointed lately, like Arrieta last night. Greinke is neither pitching as well as Arrieta lately nor does he have as good a matchup, but he is an overwhelming favorite and the Diamondbacks have the lowest team total at 2.5 runs. And being not as good as Arrieta is hardly a conviction of poor play. Greinke has been more than just solid and he is going at home, which has been a bottom ten ballpark for hitting this season. For cash games, he’s a solid play.

You might think that the fact that Greinke just pitched against the Diamondbacks 10 days ago might mean trouble, since often when a team sees a pitcher so close together, the hitters are more locked into that SP since they just saw him recently. However, Greinke had a similar situation in August against the Reds. On 8/16, Greinke held the Reds to one run over seven innings in Los Angeles. Then, eleven days later he faced them again. This time, Zack attacked (oh yeah!) and this time held the Reds completely scoreless over seven innings. He struck out eight and nine in those two outings.

I’m rostering Zack in cash games but looking at lower cost alternatives to get the Coors bats (which I don’t preview in this piece because you don’t need to be told to roster those guys, I’m sure.) in the lineup as well as some other high cost, high yield bats I’ll discuss down below.

You may think it’s time for the Zack Attack to crumble, but I think there’s one more hit song for sure.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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While I like to come up with witty original titles, I realize that today’s has already been played. So has “Cespedes For The Rest of Us”, another solid specimen. I tried to figure out a way to use the video game Centipede, but came up empty. So I decided I would just recycle. There’s no getting around it, today’s post needed to center on Yoenis Cespedes. With 139 points, no other batter has scored as many points as Yoenis in the last 28 days. During that stretch he has 15 homers, 34 RBIs and 28 runs scored. He leads all batters in all three of those categories. He even has 3 triples and 2 stolen bases. Cespedes is like a man obsessed. Obsesspedes! I’d love to know how many teams that have made the fantasy playoffs have him on their roster.

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During the preseason I made a strong case for selecting Clayton Kershaw as the top overall pick ahead Mike Trout in points leagues using total points, Z-score and FVARz. Kershaw edged out Trout across the board, but I’m sure that didn’t convince most of you to pull the trigger. Actually I’m pretty positive of this because Trout’s average draft position (ADP) was 1.3, while Kershaw’s ADP was just under 2 at 1.9. That means that there were a few of you that joined the dark side, but the rest of you just didn’t have enough balls. Let’s see if I made a jacka*s of myself taking such an outrageous stance.

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Since returning from the All-Star break, no hitter has scored more points than Joey Votto. Votto-D2 (for you Star Wars geeks) has 10 hits, 2 home runs, 3 RBIs, 8 walks and a stolen base to give him 39 points over 7 games. On the season he now has 265 points which puts him in the top ten first basemen, where he has quite the company. He’s currently on pace for 30 ding dongs, 10 stolen bases and a .300 batting average. But what I really hope is that he has a son name Otto.

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When did Busta Rhymes get so fat? Dayam!!! Dude looks like he ate the Busta Rhymes I remember that put out some great music back in the late 90’s and early 2000’s. I’m not much of a rap fan, but I was always a Busta fan. When he sang “Gimme Some More” who knew he was talking to the guy that was putting food on his plate. Did you hear what the talking M&M said to Busta in that unreleased M&M’s commercial? Put your hands where my eyes can see. Sorry Busta, it’s too easy. Please spend less time at the all you can eat buffets with Billy Butler and CC Sabathia and more time making dope music. I’m sure there’s a spot in the Fast and Furious 8 Soundtrack for you.

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With 16 home runs, 45 RBIs, 8 stolen bases and 230 fantasy points in 53 games, Paul Goldschmidt has been “making it rain” points in fantasy baseball land so far this season. While some might come close, none have been “as good as gold”. When we asked Tony the Tiger for his felinely opinion he has this to say. “Paul’s not good, he’s GOOOOLD!” Thanks Tony.

When gold was first discovered in Sacramento Valley way back in early 1848 it sparked the well-known Gold Rush of 1849. Some 300,000 people came to California in search of golden riches, marking one of the more significant events in 19th century US history. Well, I think it’s time to dust off your covered wagons and starting making your way to Arizona because I think we’re on the brink of the Gold Rush of 2015. Goldschmidt is on pace for 48 homers, 137 RBIs, 24 stolen bases and a whopping 703 fantasy points. Move over 49’ers!

In honor of our golden hero I have decided to make this week’s entire post a tribute to him.

So, who else has been a gold mine lately?

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