Last week in the comments of this post we talked about everything but DraftKings because at this point of the season we have lost all our beer money and need to talk about something else to cope. It’s okay though because if I was winning every time I payed I would be making it rain dollar bills every night at the club and wouldn’t be writing this. I’m kidding, I love this too much and wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but here. (I’m lying I would rather be at the club blowing through my money like an 18 year old who won the lottery) Today I went with a music play in my title after being inspired by the considerable music discussions with Sky, Ralph and a very drunk Big Magoo last week. Great time fellas, I hope you come back today and we can have Thursdays with J-FOH continue. I will be honest, I like Simon and Garfunkel and Paul Simon’s solo career. It’s the music that soothes this savage beast and keeps my mind at ease. You got a F**KING PROBLEM WITH THAT? When I looked at my 8 options for arms today I was at a loss because I only have 8 options. With Zach Greinke missing his start, Madison Bumgarner, Tyson Ross and Clayton Kershaw are the three I feel most people will go with as they stay away from Julio Teheran. Julio has been so-so of late and could be overlooked as people try to avoid a blow up. I think they’re nucking futs with this one. The Braves have been swinging a hot stick and face a train wreck of a pitcher in David Holmberg which helps in getting the win. Julio has faced the Reds once this year and shut them out going 8 innings, striking out 5, walking two and only giving up 3 hits. Yummy! After two bad outings against the Dodgers and Mariners he came back with a 1 ER performance against the very dangerous A’s. He has the upside to get you double digit K’s and with a K/9 of 7.79 is not an unreasonable statement. The Reds on the year are 13th on the team K-rate chart doing it at a rate of 20.6%. I like his pairing with Madison and as I always do in my head when I hear Tehran’s name I think of the Iron Shiek from Tehran, Iran stomping on an opponent before the bell rings. Julio #1 Teheran #1, everyone else ptui!

Hey there everyone! I would like to welcome you to another episode of the Razzball football show. I’m going to talk about football and you better sit back and read this or else our big scary Canadian Nick will come visit you and make you. He has a van and is mobile taking residence in Anywhere, America as he promotes our game changing product on the 32in32in32 tour. We are changing the game before the game even knows it needs to be changed. Can you dig it! This week we launched our first ever Razzball Football IDP leagues with myself and IDP writer Kevin hosting the first two. We filled them up pretty fast and would like to do some more. If you are interested in hosting one then please leave a comment and we can work it out via e-mail. Jay, Grey and everyone here at Razzball would love your support as we keep trying to take Razzball Football to the next level. We have a damn good product with quality content and mandatory shenanigans over there. For those that don’t know, IDP stands for Individual Defensive Players where we get rid of the old boring team defense concept and select defensive backs, linebackers, and defensive lineman as a part of our squads. In my most humble opinion it makes the game viewing experience better than anything you have ever done before because the action for your team never stops. You get a rush as one of your players makes a great tackle, a sack, a pass deflection or an interception they take to the house. So what do you say. JOIN OR ELSE!

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 20 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Can I be more obvious by using the most expensive pitcher in my title? Two words: Adam Wainright! There isn’t an emoticon out there that can express how his owners felt this past Tuesday. I sadly was not one of them. I went the budget pitching route and spent more on bats and was fortunate enough to squeak out some wins. The pain of missing out on Waino’s one hit no walks CG shutout will haunt me for at least a week. Today we have a similar situation with Zach Greinke. My favorite dark horse Cy Young candidate last year and still one this year gets the free swinging Mets at the infamously named Metco. Do we add “co” to all overly large places that hurt the product? Please post your own uses for the addition of “co” below and enlighten me. On the year Greinke has 7 wins, a 2.03 ERA, 1.13 WHIP, 10.29 K/9, and a 2.03 BB/9. That’s ridiculous. I don’t care if he costs $12,100 today. I’m buying and looking for some sleeper hitters. The Mets have the 5th worst team K-rate and I wouldn’t be shocked to see 7 innings and 10 K’s vs. the Mets. And, yes I made a Sixteen Candles reference in my title…you got a problem with that?

You guys need to get over to DraftKings and jump on board the daily train. Let me be a salesman for a minute. Are your teams going through slumps? Are you dealing with an over abundance of injuries? Does hearing the words Tommy John make you want to puke? Well then a daily fantasy win might be just what you need! You get a fresh canvas every day to paint a fantasy mosaic of your best sure things and value plays on a daily basis. You can play for money or you can play for free. You can play H2H with me or against 5,000 others. Here is the link for our latest promo with the guys over at DraftKings. Don’t forget you can use the Stream-o-Nator, Hitter-Tron, and the DFSBot to check your work.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Weekends are great reminders. So are Mondays. Nearly 50 baseball games through the weekend compete with the number of beers you consume. Lots of baseball is awesome. Not working is phenomenal. Monday you pay. The schedule shrivels and shrinks and the empty bottles come looking for penance as you feign typing in your cubicle. Hope you got some rest for Tuesday cuz a full slate of games returns. Opportunity strikes those who shop wisely. Clip your coupons ya’ll cuz it’s time to eat like DraftKings. We got some nice picks for you today. The Stream-O-Nator and HitterTron are fired up. Stacks galore today. Take a looksee and then get your DraftKings account situated. It’s time to make some money.

Unless you’re an actual Draft King you gotta pony some bucks for a pitcher. There’s two hugely advantageous matchups for two of the best pitchers over the past 12 months. Jose Fernandez and Zach Greinke are absolutely killing it right now. My money is on Fernandez to put up the best line tomorrow, but Greinke has done hardly anything wrong this year and he tends to contribute to his own Ws with the bat. $11,600 for Jo-Fer or $11,000 Greinke. Rest of spending is frugal:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Former St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Joaquin Andujar once said, “You can sum up in one word the game of baseball: ‘You never know.'”

Well said Joaquin, well said.

You never know how the season will go and what stars will emerge and what stars will fade to black (someone please cue up Metallica here. I’m tired of boy bands). That’s part of the fun and frustration of fantasy sports. But even if you drafted well, with all your players off to a hot start and you are filled to the brim with confidence and trash talk, you just never know when you are going to hear that one word the game of baseball truly despises: The disabled list. *tips cap to Professor Andujar*

Please, blog, may I have some more?