Fantasy Baseball Advice

News comes that Dustin Pedroia might need surgery on his knee that could sideline him for at least a month.  Knee surgery sounds like something that sidelines people for multiple months, even Sparky Anklebiters.  Though sometimes Sparky Anklebiters can get so amped with leave-it-all-on-the-fieldness that they lose sight of the big picture and rush back too soon.  You know, they try to chew through the cone around their head and don’t heal properly.  We know you’re scrappy, Dustin, stop biting on your paw!  If he rushes and comes back in July, then he could miss a few more weeks with a setback.  Basically, what I’m saying is, you want him to just get sidelined for two months and come back healthy in August.  It’s not like what he was giving you now can’t be replaced.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Anthony Rizzo – The San Diego Padres have something to be excited about.  No, Tony Gwynn didn’t announce he’s becoming a competitive eater.  No, they didn’t put a giant afro on the Western Metal Supply Co. building and rename it Kyle Blanks Auditorium.  They called up Anthony Rizzo!  Today.  Supposedly.  When I say, “Exciting,” you say, “Padres!”  Exciting… Padres!  Exciting…Padres!  Unexciting…Padres!  Fooled you.  Rizzo’s in the same ginormous boat as every other hitter that plays at Petco.  It’ll hurt his power, but he should still be able to hit some bombs.  For the rest of the year, I’ll conservatively give him 17 homers and a .250 average.  He’s capable of a bit more power and a lot less average.  But, as with most rookies, you take the flyer on upside and hope he pans out.  That’s me, Grey “Fantasy Master Lothario” Albright, telling you to go pick him up in every league.  Yeah, even that one.  And that one too.

Dustin Moseley – Left yesterday’s game with a non-throwing shoulder injury.  Remember, Padre fans — Rizzo!

Brett Lawrie – Has a fractured hand, no relation to Brad.  Now he won’t be up until around August.  I’d go ahead and drop him in redraft leagues, unless you’re not paying attention to your team but still reading this, which seems odd but I appreciate your enthusiasm.

Adam Lind – 4 home runs in 5 games.  Yeah, he can get to 35 home runs this year.  You Gotta Believe isn’t just a title of a Marky Mark album.

Danny Espinosa – A Cain pitch hit Espinosa on the hand causing visible pain. You know what’s worse than a .218 hitter?  A .218 hitter nursing a hand injury.

Matt Cain – 9 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 11 Ks.  As Cain did everything you could ask for, Barry Zito Foursquared from a bathtub (<–PNSFWUYWAAPPC — Potentially Not Safe For Work Unless You Work At A Porn Production Company)

Brandon Crawford – 2-for-3 with a caught stealing, which is whatever but it’s always good to see guys at least trying to give some fantasy value.  In other Brandon Crawford news, Bochy says he’ll continue to start when Sandoval returns next week.  That means Tejada has about a week to strengthen his case for the Hall of Fame.

Mike Carp – M’s manager said Carp would only see 3-4 starts per week.  To get dyslexic on you, crap.

Pedro Alvarez – Tweaked his strained right quad resulting in a setback in his rehab.  Vote for Pedro…as the lamest 3rd baseman in 2011.  Both definitions of lame work.

Paul Maholm – 6 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Now has a 3.39 ERA on the year, a 1.18 WHIP and a terrible walk to strikeout ratio.  I actually own Maholm in one league, which is a little scary since I’m not sure Maholm would own himself in a fantasy league.

Andrew McCutchen – 3-for-5 with his 10th home run, a walk off blast, which gave Daniel McCutchen the win.  Then the Pirates played ‘We Are Family’ and everyone hugged.  Elias Sports Bureau said this was the first time a player hit a walk-off homer to give someone with the same last name the win.  Actually, they didn’t say that.  But something that was overheard recently at the Elias Sports Bureau compound, “Bill, in human resources, smells of onions for a record five straight days.”

Zach Duke – 7 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 1 K.  Good (for Duke) start.  Through 126 1st half innings in 2009, he had a 3.29 ERA, so he is capable of an extended run of decent starts.  But sometimes you take Zach Duke to the cashier and she rings you up for six innings and five earned runs.

Joba Chamberlain – To the DL with a flexor strain.  Someone went too heavy on the shake weight.  As Joba’s drug dealing mom would tell you, “Smoke the shake, don’t shake the weight.”

Alexi Ogando – 7 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks.  He dedicated his non-regression to all the nerds that know what FIP stands for.

Aaron Cook – 5 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 4 Ks.  He’s back and healthy.  And that’s where the positivity ends.

Eric Young Jr. – Did not start.  I like him better than Gordon, but — and this is a J. Lo-sized but — Dee Gordon is starting.  You gotta go with the starter.

Bud Norris – 8 IP, 1 ER, 1 Hit, 5 Walks, 2Ks.  Bud Norris can punch a cyclops between the eyes.

Jason Bourgeois – 2-for-5 with his 14th steal as he finally got the start.  It’s almost as if the manager forgot how good he was before his injury.  Play Bourgeois, you capitalist pig!

Justin Masterson – 8 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 3 Ks.  His sister, Mary Stuart, must have pumped him up for this start.  Obviously she was more of a help for him than for her boyfriend last year on the Dodgers, Eric Stults.

Cord Phelps – 0-for-4, was called up by the Indians and started at 2nd base.  Cord has solid plate discipline and a lot of can’t-put-your-finger-on-it-ness.  Pretty average power and speed.  Outside of AL-Only leagues, you’re grasping at straws right now if you go for a roll in the hay with him.

Ben Revere – 3-for-5, 2 RBIs and his 4th steal.  But it came at the expense of my Masterson.  Damn you, Ben Revere.  Why can’t you just be happy being a character in a Ben Affleck Masshole thriller?  You had to go and sully Masterson’s line.  Get it, Sully!  Revere’s looking like a decent deep league addition.  Shoot, he’s looking better than Span at this point, though that’s a bit of a ‘no compliment’ compliment.  He’s a player that I could see Gardy giving everyday playing time to even when Kubel and Thome return.

Justin Morneau – 1-for-4 to raise his average to .230.  Nice showing!  Everyone knows that all Canadians are robots.  Can’t Gardy reboot Morneau?  Or can they upgrade to the Vottomatic?

Michael Brantley – 3-for-5.  He’s hitting .295 on the year with 5 homers and 8 steals, i.e., he’s on pace for a Victorino type year — 100/10/60/.280/25.  Frankly, he should be getting more press from me.  He’s having a real solid fantasy 5th outfielder year.

Mark Reynolds – 2-for-3 with the slam & legs.  “Now, wait one second, Mini Donkeys don’t eat slam and legses,” said a’la Jimmy Stewart.  Not sure why, but his voice is stuck in my head.  Mr. Potter!  Reynolds does seem like he’s finally found his power stroke.  If anyone remembers his 2009, he can get blazing hot for extended periods of time.  Do keep in mind he only has 4 multiple hit games since April 13th, so his average may peak at .230.

Zach Britton – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Start anyone vs. the A’s.  You have my permission.

Reid Brignac – Finally, he hit his first home run of the year.  Geez, what a bust.  Billy Butler, “Please, that’s no bust.”

Jemile Weeks – 2-for-3 with 2 runs.  He was bumped down the order, but he is starting every day.  I’m farting in your general direction, Eric Young Jr.

Randy Wolf – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks.  He’s actually been solid or terrible in every start.  5 IP, 4 ER start here; 7 IP, 1 ER start there.  If you’ve been able to stomach that, his overall numbers don’t look hideous.

Craig Kimbrel – 1 IP, 2 ER.  Speaking of waffling between great and awful… Pick a side, Joe Lieberman!

Prince Fielder – 2-for-3, 4 RBIs and has now homered 6 times in June… Mmm…Did someone say waffling?

Jason Heyward – Glass Chipper told Heyward he needs to play hurt.  That wasn’t very Chipper of him to say.  He should change his name to Tough Love Jones.  Chipper added, “I was healthy for 11 days between 2000-2010 and that includes the offseason.  In fact, I just tweaked my oblique telling you Heyward should play hurt and I didn’t stop talking, did I?”

In opposite world, news that Andrew Bailey hurt himself comes as a complete shock.  Here’s what I said in the top 20 closers for 2011 fantasy baseball, “Is it me or is this the news once a month for him, “Andrew Bailey has been cleared to start throwing.”  Hey, Bailey, throw already!”  And that’s me quoting me!  Unfortunately, when Bailey is cleared to start throwing he leaves games with tightness in his forearm.  Wouldn’t be surprised to hear Bailey will miss the season for more surgery as he’s off to see Dr. Freeze.  Justin Duchscherer, Rich Harden and Andrew Bailey board your cross country flight, do you get off and wait for the next one knowing that something bad is bound to happen?  I do.   I take no pleasure in watching Bailey go down; less pleasure in watching Balfour or Fuentes take over.  In leagues where we had the option, we grabbed Fuentes because he has a lengthier closer resume, assuming the Sciosciapath isn’t listed as a reference.  Fuentes could get 35 saves this year.  Would surprise me as much as Bailey’s injury.  Anyway, here’s some other news for fantasy baseball:

Neftali Feliz – Now he wants to be the starter.  And I wanna be the King of Hawaii and wear a coconut bra.  Things don’t always work out the way you want them.  It’s worth grabbing Ogando or O’Day.  Rudy thinks Ogando has better upside; I say O’Day is otay.  You can go with this or you can go with that.  The choice is yours.

Drew Storen – The Nats keep saying they want to go to a closer by committee.  Which is nudge, nudge, wink, wink for, “Storen, pull away with the job!”  Unfortunately, Storen’s nudge, nudge, wink, wink translator was locked up for being within 250 feet of a high school.  If you have room, Clippard is a decent handcuff.

Casey Blake – What, no more closing news?  That’s some bullshizz!  Blake has a sore back.  He’s old; these things happen.  He probably also wakes up 7 times a night to pee.  You shouldn’t be drafting Blake anyway, unless your league has a rule that you must own one player with a wife killer surname.

Mike Morse – I write a post about how you should ignore spring training numbers on Friday then people get excited about Morse hitting five homers in nine games on Monday.  Chris Shelton called, he wants his home runs back.  If there’s any sort of blahtoon in the Nats outfield, Morse is sitting vs. righties.  That kills his value.  If Morse gets 550 ABs, he could hit 24 homers with no speed and a .280 average.  But that ‘if’ has its own zoning project that is currently getting gentrified.  In NL-Only leagues, I’d definitely own him.  In mixed leagues under 15 teams, you’re taking a flyer that is probably going to bore you.

Jason Heyward – Missed two games with back stiffness.  Weird, I get stiffness when I watch him play.  What, too much?  Oh, sorry, Prudey McPrudestein.  I’m not worried about Heyward.  It’s spring training, players have nagging shizz that teams want to baby because these games mean nothing.  He’s good, you’re good, we’re good.

Ian Stewart – About to return from a strained MCL.  (A strained 1150?  Doode, get out of the Middle Ages!)  Stewart will DH out of the gate and then hit against righties once the season starts.  I’m really starting to think Stewart’s not going to be a full-time player, which hurts his and Wigginton’s value.  Really need one to get ghost chili hot and make the other obsolete.

Zach Duke – Broken hand, which gives Diamondback fans two months to enjoy a non-Zach Duke rotation.  This leaves Armando Galarraga, Uncle Barry Enright and Aaron Heilman set to go into the Octagon for the final rotation spots with Heilman probably getting eye gouged.

Johan Santana – Someone in the always-entertaining Mets organization said Johan won’t pitch this year.  Johan said someone in the Mets organization is lying.  I believe Johan, but that still doesn’t mean he’s pitching this year.  If he has one setback and the Mets do their usual Mr. Bungle in the NL East, there’s no rush to bring him back.

Chris Dickerson – Left the game after running into the now-slimmed down Sandoval.  This is like when George “The Animal” Steele used to chew off the turnbuckle.  Don’t run into Sandoval without the padding!

We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2011 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team. We feel this approach will be fresher, more sustainable, and require less energy consumption (for us anyway). The 2011 Diamondbacks Fantasy Baseball Preview comes courtesy of Venom Strikes.

1. I’m a little silly for Brandon Allen.  That was written with reckless a-Brandon!  Sorry, that’s terrible.  So what’s your best guess for his playing time?  Is Juan Miranda really the starting first baseman?  Nady?

It is really tough to gauge what the Dbacks want to do with Allen.  I am going to guess it will all depend on how his spring goes.  I know they want to give him a shot in the outfield, but that is quickly filling up and his playing time with the addition of Nady remains to be seen.  I thought he would be the guy they wanted to build around after the rumors last season surfaced that they were going to decline the option on Adam Laroche, but then they got Miranda, eventually did decline Laroche’s option and have said Miranda will be the guy at first.  As for Nady, he is another wild card.  I don’t know what they want to do with him yet.  Again, I think the Dbacks are going to play a wait and see approach with a lot of their roster as spring progresses.

2. I think this is the year we see the Stephen Drew that everyone’s been waiting for.  I have absolutely nothing to back that up.  Care to venture a reason?  Or just think I’m nuts and Drew’s going to keep being slightly better than mediocre?

I have nothing to backup your prediction either unfortunately.  Drew really started coming on middle of the season in 2010.  He started out really really slow and I thought he was headed towards bust-ville.  Then…he busted out.  I think this HAS to be his year otherwise the Dbacks may end up losing patience with the shortstop.  He is headed into his fifth season.  I think it’s time to put up or shut up.

3. Justin Upton seems like a nice candidate to have a huge bounce back season… At least that’s what I keep trying to tell myself but when the GM tries his best to trade him away it worries me.  Is Upton’s shoulder going to be an issue again?  Will he bounce back?

The whole issue with the trade rumors I think was a direct result of trying to send Upton a message.  Perform or you are gone.  Upton was never clear on why his name was thrown around but has said he wants to be here.  He needs top prove it on the field.  The strikeouts need to be reduced and he needs more productive at-bats.  I’m not sure we were ever in danger of seeing Upton leaving the Dbacks via trade, at least not this season.  I haven’t heard any recent updates on his shoulder, but I am fairly certain if it becomes an issue during the season again and he is under-performing, then he may not be in a Dbacks uniform in 2012.

4. Ian Kennedy and Daniel Hudson both have my heart aflutter.  (That’s the most manly aflutter a person can have, btw.)  What kind of seasons do you see from each of them?

Kennedy had three different seasons in one in 2010.  Started out very good, surprising as we were not expecting it.  Then we expected it to continue and it didn’t.  He struggled the middle months of the season before finishing off strong.  He is probably the number one or two in the rotation though.  Dbacks will count on him to be an innings eater and oh yeah, get some wins.  I love the addition of Hudson.  He was a very surprising performer after being traded by the White Sox.  I expected him to falter at some point in September last season, much like we saw Enright do, but he was consistent.  I think he is in the right place and I expect big things from him in 2011.

5. Listen, I know mustaches.  Clay Zavada’s is a thing of beauty.  I heard it invented electricity.  Pat yourself on the back for even seeing that mustache on TV.  But can his mustache in its infinite power fix Zach Duke?

Zach Duke played for the Pittsburgh Pirates.  Just leaving that team and going anywhere should power his game.  At least the Dbacks won’t get beat by him anymore.  My question is will we see the Duke that the Pirates gave up on or the Duke that was the rookie of the year candidate?  They say a change of scenery sometimes helps.  I just wonder what happened in Pittsburgh to the point where they were no longer interested in him?  As for Zavada’s mustache, I really hope we get to see it on the field someday again.  He really struggled in 2010 down in the minors.  That thing is a work of art.

This week is bloated with guys who are most likely owned in your league. Or guys that should be owned. Though maybe not in ESPN abandoned leagues.  ESPN owners, raise your hand if you’re not here. Guess they’re not here either. I wish I had the time to waste on a draft that I was going to do and 20 games into the season be like, “Eh, I’ll see how I’m doing later.” The funny thing is we’ve all been in leagues where a dead team actually wins. I guess they want to get a head start on football, so they can leave that team dead too. Take a gander at my list of two start pitchers for week 4, and I welcome all questions or insults.

Davis Huff (@ LAA vs. Weaver) (Min vs. Liriano)
He isn’t as good as his start against Tex, but isn’t as bad as his last.  He is your typical 6 innings 4 ER guy, and in a pinch and get 2 start scenario, I’ll take that. Not a huge K guy which is why he isn’t owned everywhere. I am still not sold on Liriano.

Matt Harrison (Det vs. Bonderman) (@ Sea vs. Hernandez)
Yeah, I know he gets The King this week, but should be able to keep Tex in the game and may sneak a quality start against Detroit. Got killed by not keeping the ball down in the zone vs. Boston. Look for a good first start and play it by ear later in the week if you’re ahead in any pitching categories.

Carlos Silva (Was vs. Lannan) (Ari vs. Haren)
Another great one start and maybe not later in the week guy. Has 2 home starts, and has performed admirably in his chances so far. Do I believe it? No, I think it’s smoke and mirrors.  After the change of league it takes 8-10 starts for the league to be say, “Duh, he’s throwing underhand.” Great first start matchup.

Dana Eveland (Bos vs. Beckett) (Oak vs. Gonzalez)
I normally don’t root for a guy named Dana. They are always last one taken in any sport and never know how to play. He sorta knows what he is doing. WHIP nightmare as he pitches to contact, which maybe bad against the hibernating Red Sox bats.

Bud Norris (Cin vs. Harang) (@Atl vs. Lowe)
More of a first name that I can trust. His uncle Chuck guarantees a 2 win week, and I’m not going against his logic. Doesn’t get great depth into games, will K his share. Two matchups that would have been great 3 years ago. Harang’em and bang isn’t what he used to be…Well, he is still a pitcher, but, well, you know. Lowe is what he is, a great ground ball pitcher.  They never go out of style.

Mat Latos (@ Fla vs. Johnson) (Mil vs. Gallardo)
Two tough starts for Latos.  Guys who can blow up or shut you down. Coming off a gem vs. the Giants. Any start at Petco is worth the gamble. Tough to start a guy against big name pitchers. Good for at least one win.

Zach Duke ( @ Mil vs. Gallardo) (@Lad vs. Kuroda)
Got shelled in his last start vs. Milwaukee, who scored 36 runs in a 3 game sweep of the Bucco’s. Not going to win you an ERA title nor keep guys off base, but for a bad team someone has to be the ace. Look for a 6 Era for the week, a win and 8-10 K’s.

Jamie Moyer (@ Sf vs. Wellemeyer) (NyM vs. Perez)
The ageless one is still getting it done with some effectiveness.  Yeah, if I had that lineup I would be pretty decent too. Never a huge K guy, but with the Phils’ ability to score runs behind him and his favorable matchups, I’m buying for a buck for week 4.

Oliver Perez (LaD vs. Kuroda) (Phi vs. Moyer)
Making Silva’s contract look like a bargain.  Guy is the definition of inconsistency. Has the stuff, just can get his arm slot in check. He is going to breakout one game and K, like, 12 and be the WW sensation of the week, just not this one. Look for a mid 5 Era, a win and 12 k’s for the week.

This initial installment is full of fellas who go twice in week one of the 2010 fantasy baseball season. Week 1 is always a “ball and rank ‘em” scenario. Guys who are either on really crappy teams, are fantasy irrelevant anyways, fill-ins for an injured bloke. I’m a huge proponent of streaming at least one waiver wire fodder every week. If you have built a team that is made to last the fantasy season you can take the risk of floating a guy here or there. Wins are the most unpredictable category in fantasy. So why not play the odds?

Ian Snell (@ Oak vs. Braden) (@ Tex vs. Feldman)
Guy is still riding his 17 k performance vs. St Mary’s School for the Blind, and everyone hopped on board after he got traded last year thinking he was the savior for a late season push. Wrong, guy is a 8-9th starter at best in fantasy. Only here because Clifton Phifer Lee (can’t make that up) got hurt and threw at Snyder. 2 wins vs. Oak last year, avoid vs. Texas.

Dallas Braden (Sea vs. Snell) (@ ANA vs. Saunders)
Pitched great at home last year. Not a high K guy and needs to work the screwball and change to be effective.  I like him for both these starts and could be a decent fill-in later on.

Jake Westbrook ( @ Chw vs. Buehrle) (@ Det vs. Verlander)
Yikes faces a great hitting team and then one of the best starters in baseball. He is the anchor for the sinking vessel this year called the USS Wahoo. 2 years away from really doing anything.  Looks like a mid-season trade chip to a contender, probably the Dodgers if he can stay healthy. Avoid till you see if he returns to form.

John Lannan (Phil vs. Halladay) ( @Nym vs. Santana)
I like this kid, could win 12-14 games behind a sneaky good Nats lineup. Draws the top 2 pitchers in the NL east. Better stats at home, may fair better in NY. Keep an eye on his first start, but a win may come at the expense of giving up six.

Zach Duke (LA vs. Padilla) (@ Ari vs. Ed Jax)
I personally like guys who give you decisions — Duke had 33 starts with 27 decisions.  Will give you decent numbers for a bad team’s number one. Has two favorable matchups.  Owned the Dodgers last year. Great fill-in this week and could be a relevant mixed league option for favorable matchups.

Nick Blackburn ( @ Ana vs. Saunders) (@ Chw vs. Buehrle)
One of my favorites for week one adds. Awesome versus the Pale Hose last year. Going to have to adjust to being an outdoor pitcher all year. Stats won’t jump out at you, innings eater who is a matchup delight. An ERA hovering around 4; decent 12 win plateau for the year.

Kevin Millwood (@ TB vs. Shields) (Tor vs. Marcum)
Pitched great in a hitters’ park a year ago, but can he pitch in a hitters’ division is another question? Anything near a 4 ERA in the AL East is a good accomplishment. Will be fantasy worthy most weeks.

Vicente Padilla (@ Pitt vs. Duke) (@ Fla vs. Johnson)
Probably the number one add in most leagues based on his 2 start appeal for week 1. Pitched great for the Dodgers down the stretch.  Good offense leads to at least double digit wins. Gotta like both his starts against teams that are inferior to his. Not a stellar spring, but he is Vicente Padilla. So temper your expectations. Could be useful all year in a mix and matchup scenarios.