DraftKings is back with another RAZZBALL EXCLUSIVE Play with Rudy [and Nick] contest going on this Friday. Just like last week, there’s a cap of only 40 entries (2 per person), and with an entry fee of only $5 and a chance to win $20,000 it’s got more fantasy upside than Nick on the North Pole with a compass. Wait what happens on the North Pole with a compass? Nick, you live like a mile from there right?
The winner gets entry into DraftKings huge $100,000 MLB Spring Fling were the top winner gets that large chunk of $20 grand cheddar. You could cover like a million Packers fans’ heads with that. Spots 2-10 get $5 back so there’s a great shot at winning! Since this is a RAZZBALL EXCLUSIVE contest, it’s not as difficult to win and you don’t have to hit on every guy (unlike Tehol at a Wednesday photo shoot). Last week’s winning team rolled with big plays like Peavy, Cashner, and Rizzo (who put up a 40 burger), but got a goose egg from Brandon Laird (coulda probably afforded Betancourt!) and disappointing games from Josh Hamilton and Carlos Gonzalez. Rudy finished 6th, so he’s still beating most of you guys, bring him down! Please, blog, may I have some more?
Roy Halladay makes every hitter look like Babe Ruth right after he burped. (Burping was the key to his success; I watched a documentary.) Roy’s gotta hit the Disgraceful List, doesn’t he? I mean, it’s in everyone’s best interest at this point. Watching him is like seeing Carol Channing before someone told her to use a mirror to apply makeup. “How’d I get this lipstick on my ears? Maybe a dab of mascara on the ol’ chin!” You should’ve heard me saying that line like Carol Channing in my head. It’s just real sloppy out there right now for Roy. If he’s not hurt, his fantasy owners may find him in a dark alley and change that. If he is hurt, stop taking one for the team, you gamer you. “I’m a gamer. I grind like I’m old school, Jodeci, going riding roughshod over fantasy ratios…Horatio…Alger, in reverse.” That’s Roy doing beat poetry. At this point, I’d bench him against most teams until he starts piecing together something less craptastic. You might, unfortunately, have the reincarnation of 2012 Lincecum. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball: Please, blog, may I have some more?
Today is the first day of the next month in our lives without Giancarlo Stanton. If you want, I’m holding a candlelight vigil in the garbage can behind Stanton’s house. If you come, don’t make too much noise. We aren’t technically supposed to be there. The good news about his hamstring injury is when he’s limping away from us, it’ll be a lot easier to stay exactly 501 feet away. Before he’d backpedal and it was like we were doing the lambada with 501 feet between us. The bad news is I’m writing this post with tears. Hnfcsdcnnn. That was a big, stupid tear that got away from me. Short circuit my keyboard, tears. I plead with you, so I don’t have to continue. I wonder if I can seal envelopes with these tears. That would be turning lemons into lemonade, right? Ow, I just touched my eyes, and now these lemons are burning my eyes. This is the sourest injury news ever. Make the pain go away, alcohol! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball: Please, blog, may I have some more?
Have you ever enraged a Canadian? Well I hadn’t yet (except that one time when I was ten and heckled a hockey player, pretty sure he was Canadian) until Nick got so angry he wasn’t mentioned as part of our Razzball exclusive DraftKings contests that he charged me with a hockey stick and broken glass bottle of maple syrup.
Not only are you playing to beat Rudy in our Play with Rudy [and Nick] Contests from our friends at DraftKings, you’re also playing against podcast host Nick Capozzi (@nickcapozzi). This Friday, our awesome RAZZBALL EXCLUSIVE Ticket For The $100,000 MLB Spring Fling is back where you have a shot to win $20,000! That’s about $20,500 CAD for our players up north hoping to knock off big Nick. It’s only $5 to play and you can enter twice, with spots 2-10 winning $5.00. The contest is limited to only 40 entries so you have to hurry! We only had 20 entries last week, so there was a 50% win rate. Please, blog, may I have some more?
According to Wikipedia, the Dozens is a game of spoken words between two contestants, common in African-American communities, where participants insult each other until one gives up. Yesterday, we got a fantasy baseball version. Felix Hernandez started in on Max Scherzer first, “Your name sounds like a character from a Michael Chabon novel!” Scherzer lobbed back, “You could throw a no-hitter and lose!” F-Her redoubled his efforts, “You need two sets of colored contacts!” Scherzer stepped back and threw, “You’re gonna be traded to the Orioles for Erik Bedard!” F-Her fired back, “Your first baseman is so fat his blood type is Ragu!” “Oh, yeah? Well, your center fielder is The Big FraGu!” F-Her threw 8 shutout innings with 12 Ks against one of the best offenses in the game; Scherzer gave up one run with 12 Ks against one of the worst. Both: Great. Winner: Last night, it was F-Her. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball: Please, blog, may I have some more?
Texas finally caught a glimpse of MLB’s best Japanese starter as Hiroki Kuroda went 9 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks vs. the Rangers. Did they play this game in the Old Yankee Stadium? The one that was 700 feet to center and had Red Ruffing’s mausoleum in dead left? Please, blog, may I have some more?
Top 20 catchers, 1st basemen, 2nd basemen and 3rd basemen are in the books. What a strange, glorious trip it’s been! Though not really. Today, the top 20 shortstops for 2011 fantasy baseball get to shine. Hmm… Actually, most of these won’t shine. They’re cloudy with a chance of crapballs. As I said in the 2nd baseball recap post, the shortstops are almost exactly as shallow as the shortstops and 3rd basemen. Now it’s time to be a bit more specific. The top ten shortstops were better than the 2nd basemen and 3rd basemen. Yes, that is scary. Though if you were in a deeper league or if you used an MI, the fall off from the 13th to 20th ranked shortstops is not pretty, whereas the 2nd basemen held their value as you dropped down the rankings. 3rd base was as big a mess in the lower half of the rankings as shortstops. Okay, enough of the hubbub on the tomfoolery. To recap, this final ranking is from ESPN Player Rater with my comments. The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason. Anyway, here’s the top 20 shortstops for 2011 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
1. Please, blog, may I have some more?
And all the pitchers in the top 10, please allow Stephen Strasburg to bump thee. Let’s see what we can say about Strasburg that hasn’t been said before. Mikhail Gorbachev’s port wine birthmark on his head is actually Strasburg mid-windup. I don’t think that had been said before. Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Giants brought Brandon Belt back up from the minors where he was batting .293 with 3 homers in 12 games in July. Last time he was recalled it was the Giants doing their best fill-a-Buster and Belt was a bench bat. The time before that he was promoted and forgot his game back in Fresno. “A box of sparklers, a Groupon to the Macaroni Grill, Brandon Belt’s game.” That’s someone going through a lost and found in Fresno. So those two negatives led to two (stutterer!) positives. Bochy started Belt at first and he homered. I’d look at Belt in all leagues for his sweet, sweet upside, but don’t drop anyone too good or it could end up smacking you upside your head. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into today’s roundup, wanted to mention that the fantasy football leagues are signing up over at our sister site, and I’m using the word sister like in Oz. You click that linkie-ma-who and it’ll take you there. It’s magic! Anyway II, here’s the roundup:
Jeff Keppinger – Of course, Sabean acquired Keppinger. Rogers Hornsby was unavailable. Keppinger is a defensive upgrade on the usual flat-footed vet Sabean brings over like Burrell, who plays the mannequin defense. Most times the defense alignment means moving guys in and out, right and left. The mannequin defense requires them deciding if they want to play their fielders with their gloves in the air for a fly ball or on the ground because once the ball is hit there is no time for them to move their arms. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jack McKeon’s got a word for players like Hanley Ramirez — lollygaggers. For 5 years, Hanley’s been riding the crest of natural ability. As I’ve said before about Hanley and Manny, insouciance doesn’t age well. Think about the hot girl who got all the guys in high school then lost her looks ten years later. She never had to develop a personality and, now at age thirty, she’s screwing guys in the bathroom of some bar with sawdust on the floor and hoping they’ll adopt her two kids, Bob Jr. Please, blog, may I have some more?