We’re gonna try something different today. We’re not going to talk about a lot of extraneous shizz. We’re gonna talk about Yordano Ventura. We’re not going to talk about Ruben Studdard on The Biggest Loser and how his rolls have rolls while wishing he had a Rolls. We’re not going to talk about the newest season of The Voice and how Christina’s coaching style is to sing the songs better than the singtestants, how Blake and C. Lo can’t sing worth a lick and how Adam just purses his lips like Zoolander. We’re not going to talk about the new Drake album and how I’ve listened to it on repeat for the last three weeks. The Language is my jammie jam! No, we’re not going to talk about any of that. We’re especially not gonna talk about how I’m getting married tomorrow. HOLY EFFIN EFF ARE WE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THAT! Can we never talk about that? Is it too late to run off to Miami and be with Giancarlo forever and ever amen? We’re not gonna talk about any of that. We’re going to talk about Yordano Ventura or YoVe, which sounds like a black Jew kvetching. “Do you have to throw the no-look pass so hard? YoVe!” Did you know Sammy Davis Jr.’s favorite expression was YoVe? Of course, you didn’t know that because I just made it up. So, with all of that said about Yordano Ventura, what can we expect from him for 2014 fantasy baseball?Please, blog, may I have some more?
This is the last Buy/Sell of the season so I was going to title this post, “Grey Needs A Vacation,” but who wants to hear about what I need? This is all about what you need for your precious fantasy team. Ooh, I’m Random Razzball Commenter, and I need a young, studly outfielder with power, speed, average and goes by the name of Avisail Garcia. Fine! You got it, RRC! Sorry, was I shouting? Let me take a deep breath off of this glass contraption that blows smoke into my face when I suck. There we go. Mellow yellow, Donovan. Yay, baby! So, sadly, another Buy/Sell year comes to a close and we sure did have a blast. Member that time I told you to sell Chris Davis? The laughs we’ll have about that while you try to hunt me down with a bow and arrow. Or the time I told you to buy Matt Kemp only for him to hurt his female parts the next day. Oh, yes, good times, over-the-internet friends! You know what the guy who wears a beret and makes sandwich at Au Bon Pain says? C’est la vie, you want extra muenster cheese on this? Except for the muenster cheese part, there’s wisdom in those words. Oh, and Avisail Garcia, right! Yeah, he’s hitting out of his mind right now (near .400, showing power and speed). There’s only a few days left, but I’d absolutely grab him if he were out there on waivers. He’s also someone I’ll be very excited about next year — in fourteen after twenty. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sorry, I was just testing out these new three-ply tissues Cougs bought for me. I wasn’t crying. I was cutting onions while watching Manny Machado get hurt. When you think you’ve had too much of this life, hang on. Everyone hurts…sometimes! Michael Stipe, you are my bald little friend that sits in my glove compartment and waits for me to be sad to come out and sing to me. Sit on my lap, Stipe, and tell me it’s going to be okay. Tell me Machado won’t struggle to be healthy again by next year. Alas… Jesus, what a depressing way to start a sentence. Alas? Alas my ass, Machado’s hurt bad. It’s a shame. Not because I own him this year, but I don’t want anything to stand in the way of me liking him in 2014 and a knee injury is the kind of thing that could deflate my enthusiasm. Oh, well, guess we’ll see how he’s doing next February. For right now, feel free to drop him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Let me begin by saying that each of my H2H teams has been officially eliminated, and being so, I’ve decided to submit the most spiteful two-start post of all time. Ok, fine, I didn’t go that far. But I sure as shizz wanted to. Anyway. It’s the last week of the season, and anyone still reading this post is surely making a championship push, so good for you, and good luck this week. I want to thank everyone for reading along this season. I hope these weekly posts did more good than harm throughout the year. I’ll be digging into MiLB previews before long, and those posts will continue throughout the offseason. But this wraps up our two-start coverage until next spring. Now, go win some championships.
As always, probable pitchers are subject to change. For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I wonder if Marge Schott’s family sits around and talks about what Marge would’ve thought of Billy Hamilton‘s thievery. I wonder too if they’d do it on our podcast, because I bet it would be totally off-color, so to speak. “First of all, Marge had a great respect for people and would’ve loved a chance to apologize for the comments she made about African-Americans, Jews, Japanese, Chinese, Tongans, Georgians, the people from the country above Armenia and the people of the great state of Georgia, Quizno’s, the fast food restaurant, I don’t think there’s people who register Quizno as a nationality or religion and Pomeranians — she only kicked one because she thought it was a ferret…Guess that means she would’ve apologized to ferrets too. So, your question is, what would she have thought of Billy Hamilton? She would’ve loved him to fetch her Nazi flatware.” That’s a Marge Schott family member on the podcast. You don’t need to be a rocket surgeon to know what Hamilton gives you for fantasy. Even if he only starts one game the rest of the year, he could get you a point in steals and for that it’s worth owning him, even if you have to put him on your bench on his days off. If you don’t think he can steal four bags again in a game, you don’t know two of his steals on Wednesday were on pitch outs. That means not only did everyone know he was stealing, but the pitcher and catcher did all they could to stop him. They still couldn’t. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:`Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Chris Davis hit his 51st home run, breaking the Orioles’ home run record of 50 set by Brady Anderson. In a ceremony following the game, Chris Davis sheared Brady Anderson’s sideburns, donating them to a teenager who wants to appear closer in age to his fake ID. Teenager Billy Lutkin said, “I already look like I’m at least 22, these will make me look like I’m like 30! I’m gettin’ drunk!” Davis’s season line is 100/51/132/.293/3, and rightfully sits near the top of our Player Rater. Old news, but I’m thinking about new news (almost stutterer!) and what can he do for 2014 fantasy baseball? In the 2nd half, he hit .255 with 13 homers as his BABIP and HR/FB% came soaring back to his career norms and rather than otherworldly as in the first half. He has a near 30% K-rate and doesn’t look anything close to the guy he was in the first half. Next year, he should still get 35 homers, but will probably hit closer to .265 and with those numbers his counting stats will come back to earth like Andrelton after holiday. Let’s just say someone will be drafting him before me next year. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Andrew Cashner stole his second base of the season last night. It was a fine effort. Not a straight steal, but a solid jump that looked like a busted hit and run. Whatever it takes to get the man over, I say. Oh, and he also threw a one hitter, giving up one single to fellow Cougar hunter, Jose Tabata. Sonavabench! Coming into the game, he had a 4.41 road ERA and DAH! Well, you know the rest. Someone mentioned yesterday that Cashner could be someone to watch for 2014 fantasy, so that got me thinking. I think, y’all! His K-rate is way down this year (6.48 K/9) and his xFIP is about that of, say, Lance Lynn, Derek Holland and Dan Haren. I love Cashner in Petco. The thought of him in Petco is like listening to a CD of Bob Ross’s voice while on Demerol. I’d say soothing but I have a hard time with my th- sounds. Those comparable names for xFIP don’t scream someone who’s on the precipice of breaking out, assuming the word precipice is even close to being used correctly here. In fact (Grey’s got another point to make!), Haren, Lynn and Holland are pitching better than him. I’m sure I won’t be totally against Cashner next year, because he does have solid stuff, but his numbers don’t get me as excited as when a barista forgets to charge me for sugar syrup. Seriously, Starbucks? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Quite a bit has changed since the 2013 MiLB season began in April, and folks have been clamoring for a mid-season prospect list. Well, here it is, 50-deep. But before we get into it, a quick primer on the criteria for this top 50: There was no specific timetable considered, so the rankings below can be considered a dynasty league list. You’ll notice that the ETA’s here range from this season all the way to 2016. To prevent any overlap with lists that Grey and JayWrong put together last week, I’ve included only prospects who are currently in the minor leagues. That means I had to remove Christian Yelich and Jake Marisnick from the board after news of their call-ups — Yelich was #7, Marisnick #40. It also means I couldn’t list Carlos Martinez, who’s currently working in relief for the Cardinals — he would’ve been ranked right around #20.
Anyway, I’ll be writing notes on all of these fellas during the off-season, once the dust has settled on the 2013 season and I’ve had a chance to take a more thorough look at depth charts, injuries, etc. For now, I’ve included only a few pertinent details: age, current level, fantasy impact categories, and ETA. Each player is linked to his player card on Baseball-Reference.com, or his Razzball player card where possible. My hope is that this list will help dynasty leaguers sort out their rosters as keeper deadlines approach. Enjoy.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Perhaps you were expecting the usual Saturday morning two-start pitchers post, but it’s All Star week and there are no two-starters. The timing works out well, though – I’ve been vacationing south of the border and had to skip one of our precious Scouting the Unknown posts. We’ll fit that one in now.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Bear with me for a moment while I venture outside stateside baseball for a look at a marvelous moment in Korean pro ball. The always great Ben Badler of Baseball America brought this clip to my attention this past Wednesday, and you really gotta give this one a look. Outfielder Jun-Woo Jeon is the batter. His team is down two runs with a runner on first and one out in the bottom of the ninth. He recognizes the fat breaker, turns on it, and lifts it to left field. He thinks it’s gone and the game tied, so he flips his bat triumphantly and does one of those cool jogging finger points toward his dugout. It’s not gone. No, the ball dies at the track, and not long after, the opposition dies of laughter. This is why you never bat flip. #Scouting.Please, blog, may I have some more?