Thankfully, I no longer do 4th of July like I used to, because when you have a holiday weekend that lasts five days, you will get alcohol poisoning if you go too hard, and the 4th is especially dangerous because: day drinking. At least with New Year’s Eve, it’s at night. The Fourth is lying on a discarded sofa on the side of a highway at 3 PM and being like, “The hum of 75 MPH cars is so peaceful, I go to sleep now,” and waking up with a flashlight you mistake for a fleshlight and now you’re a registered sex offender. Hopefully, none of that happened to any of you, well, maybe the fleshlight part, and you all had a safe holiday. Any hoo! Yesterday, Andrew McCutchen went 3-for-4 and his 15th and 16th homers as he hits .288. He found the Fountain of Youth sometime in May and has been a Zombino eating brain custard ever since. I’m still half expecting — cting? — McCutchen will resort to blah in the 2nd half, but it looks like I wrote off McCutchen before his sell-by date. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Yankees called up Clint Frazier on Saturday. The Yankees are like you at a concert after your first bathroom break. “I had sixteen beers and I really gotta whizz.” *goes to the bathroom, then sips your seventeen beer* “Damn, I just took a whizz, and now I have to go again.” The childproof seal has been broken. The Yankees waited about five years too long to promote some of their rookies, and now they’re taking a whizz every third day. (I’m mixing metaphors, aren’t I?) I wonder if the Yankees are aggressively promoting rookies now because of how well Judge is doing. It’s confirmation bias, or some Psych 1010 term. In the minors, Frazier went 12 HRs, 9 SBs and .257 in 73 games. His strikeouts weren’t terrible, and that line looks like it could hold in the majors, i.e, 20/15/.250 in 162 games. That’s if he has playing time the rest of the year, which is, of course, no guarantee with Holliday, Hicks, Gardner, Ellsbury, though if they were candy, they’d all be brittle. I’d grab Frazier in all leagues to see what he can do. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Scooter Gennett had the game of his life yesterday. Well, isn’t he Vespecial? You say to me, “Unkie Grey, can I sit on your lap metaphorically and you tell me why Scooter hit so many homers?” Sure, Nephew, it’s simple. A story of my Scooter in two tweets:
Someone left me a note w/ stock tips, but didn’t specify what bike company pic.twitter.com/1ikcQpTgYY
— Razzball (@Razzball) June 6, 2017
I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN NOW PERSON WHO LEFT ME A NOTE ABOUT MY PARKING, I SHOULDN’T HAVE PARKED MY SCOOTER ON MY BENCH! pic.twitter.com/S42hZlEOQ0
— Razzball (@Razzball) June 7, 2017
I am the first person in the history of fantasy baseball to bench two hitters for games with at least three home runs in the same season. *opens oven, sticks head in oven, opens The Bell Jar to read* Ugh, could someone check on the pilot light? You might be asking yourself why I had Scooter on my bench, while you coyly bat your eyelashes. I’ll explain, you coquettish bastard! He was hitless the entire previous week! WHAT THE EFF?! Any hoo! Scooter had a big game, and will now be invited to all the same parties as Mark Whiten, but Scooter is not much more than a hot schmotato. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Or will he? Dun, dun, DUNNNNNN…ok, I don’t think he will. What, you thought I’d drop a hot beat and a fresh rhyme on you a la Grey? Psssh, I ain’t about that life, son. I’ll belt out some Cornell for you live and in person, but you won’t catch me getting lyrical up in this wordpress. Ok, ok, supply and demand so here’s a hot track. I’m not sure what the equivalent of being rick rolled is in this day and age, but consider yourself as such. You got served! But now that I’ve served you in a way you didn’t like, let me serve you in a way you should: JC Ramirez at $14,400 is middling in terms of price on this slate and ripe for K opportunity facing the surging Rays. Surging, I say? Yes, I do. Sadly, the Rays are a weird bunch so far this year. Though their K% against righties leads the league, they’re 2nd in the league in wRC+ against them as well. If you want some further schism, Rays are also 1st in K% on the year but 4th in wRC+. All this to say that Ramirez isn’t a slam dunk, but I think the Ks will give him a nice baseline. I’ll tentatively give him the green light as an SP2 in cash, but will definitely be in on him as either a 1 or 2 for tourneys on today.
Speaking on Chris Cornell a bit more, if you’ll permit me…we’ve had some great sounds come out of Seattle and it’s a sad trend that lots of those lungs lend themselves towards ending early. Cornell was a voice you heard above the fray, whether you wanted to or not. He had a long and amazing career. People who thought he sold out with Euphoria Morning and beyond have no clue what it means to be an artist who wants to challenge themselves. The man could sing anything he wanted…and he wanted to be a lot of different artists. You metalheads who needed the hard edge couldn’t appreciate that his love of Beatles and Otis Redding brought you Superunknown. In kind, you all who couldn’t appreciate his time with Soundgarden who thought it was just screeching noise, don’t actually understand that soul comes in many forms. I’m gonna drop one of those in between tunes that seemingly few heard here called Sweet Euphoria and going on with my picks for this slate…right after I drop the Razzball Listener’s League that goes down with tomorrow’s slate. Reserve your spot now, win money tomorrow. It’s almost like investing!
New to FantasyDraft? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!Please, blog, may I have some more?
We have our first big call-up of the major league season!!! “Yoo-hoo!” You want chocolate milk, Cody Bellinger? “I was drawing attention to myself, since I was called up first.” Oh, yeah, but you feel like you were always here. “Oh, well, that’s nice of you to say–” Shut up, Cody Bellinger! Bradley Zimmer, now this is a call-up! “I’ll be up soon!” Shut up, Amed Rosario! This is about Bradley Zimmer. Zimmer is a guy who is a speed-first, power-second, average-third guy. Actually, on base percentage second in leagues that count that sorta thing. In Triple-A, he had five homers, nine steals and a 30% strikeout rate. He looks like Keon Broxton who should be platooned out of the lineup against lefties. I will call him, Right-on Broxton. I grabbed him in all leagues where he was available, you don’t want to miss out on the first big call-up. “Seriously, are you just ignoring me?” Bellinger, you’re getting on my last nerve! For 2017, I’d give Zimmer a line around 45/10/40/.235/20. That could be the best call-up of the year. “Seriously?!” Shut it down, CB! Oh, and I’m aware that Zimmer went 0-for-3 with 3 Ks out of the nine hole, but Bellinger looked lost thru a whole two starts too when he was first called up. “Keep my name out of your mouth!” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday was a bad day to quit being young with A.J. Pollock and Carlos Gomez both hitting the DL. Together! In a non-gay way. But it would’ve been totally cool with me if it was in a gay way. Let’s start with Pollock since he is the less ethnically sensitive of the two. Pollock has a Grade 1 groin strain. When the strain happened, Pollock was reading Groin Strains for Dummies. Chapter 1: Don’t Move Your Leg In A Normal Manner. “Go to a trampoline, but don’t jump on it with your feet, fall on it sitting criss-cross apple sauce.” Pollock will likely be out for two to three weeks, and in his place the Russian Game of Thrones character, Gregor Blanco, and Reymond “You Can’t Not Think Of Daisy” Fuentes. Fuentes is the more interesting of two, since he should be on the stronger side of a platoon, and has speed. Outside of NL-Only and deep mixed leagues, I’m passing on both. As for CarGomez, he will miss four to six weeks. That’s too bad, he used to be good three years ago. Replacing him on the roster will be Jared Hoying, who looks like a Motter-fodder. Then, we have Carlos Carrasco, who is affectionately known as Cookie, and I am a Cookie Monster for him, so this one hurts me. In yesterday’s game, Carrasco had a huge lead, when he squandered that and left the game with a trainer. All you had to do with cruise to the W on the Ivictory Coast! Apparently, that’s the way the Cookie crumbles. He was diagnosed with left pectoral tightness, which doesn’t sound bad. Which, Part 2: The Return of the Which, will still likely mean a DL stint. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
If players are going to break out in a season, they don’t always break out the first week of a season. I’m reminded of another Phillies player, Dominic Brown. The year he broke out, it didn’t happen until June of that year. Of course, in subsequent years, his swing got long like Don Johnson’s in The Harrad Experiment and rather than working his way back in the cages, Brown was preoccupied with avoiding his stalker, Tehol. This brings us to another potential breakout, Aaron Altherr. Or as Mystikal calls him, Altherr. You don’t have to be scurred, he’s doing his thang. Altherr hit two more homers yesterday (2-for-4, 4 RBIs, hitting .351), and is one of the hottest players in the majors this week. Of course, this won’t continue, but to what degree will this tail off? By the way, I want to be a judge at a twerking competition called a Tail Off. In the minors, he’s shown speed (20-ish) and power (teen-ish). With his Ks and BABIP, his average will come down a long way (maybe .250), but I see no reason why he can’t be a 17/20/.250 hitter on the year, and definitely a must own. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
One story finally gaining a bit of traction this season is the installation of a humidor in the Diamondbacks’ home park, Chase Field.
Digging right into the meat of this point, the reason it’s even being considered is because of the relative offensive production we’ve seen in Phoenix over the first month of the season. Chase Field has actually has a higher park factor metric than the messiah itself, our DFS darling, the Parthenon of fantasy, Coors Field.
Barely edging Colorado, by fractions of a run, rumors are the Diamondbacks organization tried to implement the humidor this during Dave Stewart’s tenure, but he exclaimed, “No! Nothing logically sound can happen in Arizona until I leave!” (cannot confirm through my sources).
While some may not think it’s a big deal, the bible of the humidor’s impact can be found on The Hardball Times, and its author Alan Nathan believes the difference will be notable. Here’s his concluding paragraph from the great column he wrote…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ello Puppet. Boy, do we have a tough slate today. The lines in Vegas are too close on every game but one. We’ll have to be extra cautious in regards to which pitchers we target today. Roughly 3 weeks ago I was contemplating on trading for Jose Quintana ($18,900) due to his awful start to the season and figured I could buy low on him. Needless to say I got cold feet and never sent the trade through. No regrats, not even a letter. Ok, yes I regret not pushing the trade button. Quintana has looked great in his last 3 outings. Quintana had 3 quality starts in a row and 23 k’s in his last 20 innings pitched. The Orioles have been struggling at the plate recently and they’re having a tough time with LHP. They sport a 27% K rate vs. LHP which makes Quintana a great play today. As always if you have any DFS question please feel free to ask away in the comments section.
New to FantasyDraft? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well, try out this 20 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your FantasyDraft whistle. It’s set to run Tuesday, May 9th @ 7:05 ET. $5 gets you in the door and the contest will run regardless of number of entrants, so make sure you hop in. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Something funky is going on in Denver. At the 2016 all-star break, Charlie Blackmon was a 30 year old OF sporting a career line of .292/.342/.446, good for a 99 wRC+. Since then, he’s been a .327/.375/.612 hitter, which has been good for a 140 wRC+. At the 2016 all-star break, Carlos Gonzalez was a 30 year old OF sporting a .297/.355/.541 line as a member of the Rockies, good for a 125 wRC+. Since then, he’s been a .252/.310/.403 “hitter”, which has been “good” for a 70 wRC+.
At some point during those 5 days right around the 2016 All-Star break, Charlie Blackmon tapped into some dark magic and cast a voodoo spell on Carlos Gonzalez, draining all of Cargo’s talent and keeping it for himself. Blackmon went from being an average-ish centerfielder with decent on-base skills to a legitimately good centerfielder who can hit for average and power. Poor Cargo went from a good power-hitting corner outfielder to a broken shell of a man who has been a liability since the 2016 All Star Break. Even Neifi Perez, the walking embodiment of an all-glove no-bat shortstop, managed to cobble together a .282/.313/.411 triple-slash line as a Rockie, and Cargo can’t even beat that right now! Poor Carlos Gonzalez. Meanwhile, Charlie Blackmon has become a legitimately great DFS hitting centerfielder who bats leadoff for a team playing half their games in Coors Field – mmmmm…tasty. As for how he’s done it, if my theory is correct (and this is a real, scientific theory), that means that Charlie Blackmon is a real life Shang Tsung, and I really don’t want to offend someone who can drain my soul, so please Mr. Blackmon, if you’re reading this, you’re my favorite player and your beard is awesome, although it’s not as good as this one, I still cannot lie.
On to the picks once Shang Tsung steals my soul…
New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!Please, blog, may I have some more?