The closest David Wright is to getting on the field is to smell the glove. The doctors have diagnosed him with spinal stenosis, which is the narrowing of the spinal column. “That sounds awesome, my column’s way too wide,” says a runway model. Has there ever been a situation, besides This Is Spinal Tap, where the word spinal has been good? Misspellings of spinal with l’pinas, the French Colada, does not count. The plains in Wright’s pain fall directly on the spinal. Honestly, this sounds like an issue that will plague him this entire year and he’s going to have a lost season. Not honestly, good news. On our podcast that is coming later today this ailment is compared to some football guy no longer doing football things due to spinal stenosis and how dropping Wright, if you don’t have DL room, could be the, uh, right move. I sorta agree, but would try to hold him a bit longer, until we hear more. It does sound like this has the makings of “Can Wright bounce back in 2016?” articles. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hey, it’s Memorial Day weekend, so I assume most of you aren’t here. I guess I’ll be chatting with some of our playas’ from Europe and that New Zealander Steve. Damn, that came out like I’m hatin’ on Razzballs good buddy Steve. Sorry Steve, we miss you. With this title you might think I’m going to play a bunch of jazz tunes and that would be the most logical place to go, but not in the stream of confusion of my  mind. Of course I started with Dizzy from one of my favorite jazz albums, but then my mind took an odd turn to Herbie Hancock and how this song changed a lot of musical perspectives for me. After absorbing all of that I fell deeper into the funk and the brilliance of the godfather of soul’s backing band (now there is some dancing I want to see come back). Oh, that sweet sweet soul music from the Baby H to the contemporary Charles Bradley and Lee Fields. Now along the way, I had the local LA underground hiphop scene to deliver rare gems like the Breakestra, and speaking of hip-hop, I have to wonder what the world would be like without Herbie Hancock. Now, you might be asking yourself what this has to do with todays creeper or top 100, and all I can say is my mind is a place and I’m letting you step in it for a few. I also know you guys like talking about music so WTFN.

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OBPwulf opened to lukewarm reviews in the Grandal Opry in 2012. One critic said the country number performed by the girl in Daisy Dukes can only be described as “poon twang” to those sitting in the front rows. Another critic argued that a show dedicated to a catcher, who never topped 15 home runs and had a career .247 average, but was good at OBP, while being delivered in country music songs written in archaic Old English prose, would struggle to find an audience. And struggle it did. Until it moved to Los Angeles and got a cast change to Carrie Underwood and Craig Wayne Boyd. Now the story of OBPwulf is singing! Yesterday, Yasmani Grandal went 4-for-4, 3 runs, 8 RBIs with his 3rd and 4th homers, hitting .301. He’s owned in 39% of ESPN leagues and the Dodgers go to Coors this weekend. I didn’t put Grandal in this afternoon’s Buy column, because he’s here now. You don’t need things repeated. You don’t need things repeated. You don’t need things repeated. Sorry, I’m typing this in a cave. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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You do it every day in your regular fantasy leagues when you stream hitters or pitchers and yet something holds you back at times in the DFS world. You see a matchup that is exploitable for fantasy goodness and you use it if you’re in your roto league. Then you go about setting your lineups over on DraftKings, pay for Matt Harvey and Max Scherzer and move on. Where’s your sense of daring there? Of all places to get a little bolder, it should be in your DFS world. Ya only got one day to be Wright or Wong and as Jigsaw would say, ‘make your choice’. So with that in mind and with the obvious names already named so I don’t have to talk about them later, let’s move on to a good GPP play for today in Roenis Elias. First off, for those who aren’t plugged in to the MLB world, this isn’t a random call up for the Mariners. Roenis pitched 163 innings for the Mariners last year, finishing the year with a 3.85 ERA and a 7.86 K/9. All this to say, we’re not dealing with a random spot call up. The kid has major league ability and against an Astros team that Ks 24.2% of the time against LHP, you could have a cheap 7 to 8 Ks today. Wanna spend up for the big two instead? Be my guest but on a slate featuring 28 pitchers, I’m looking for the arms that’ll give me room to get bats that’ll put me over the top. And with a lede out of the way, lets turn to other hot takes for the May 1st DK slate…

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

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If you read my column last week, I used a terrible metaphor relating a cruise buffet to the pitching slate of the day. I guess I don’t learn from my mistakes very well, so I’ll use another bad food comparison. A few days ago I went to one of my favorite steak restaurants and the service was absolutely terrible. We waited 45 minutes for our food, and it was cold when it got there. It was an absolutely terrible experience. I dread going back there again, but I know that it will probably be amazing the next time I do. This is Clayton Kershaw. For that huge price, he probably burned you last time out. Do not be fooled, mediocrity is a very rare (unintended steak pun), occurrence for Clayton. I don’t care that the Rockies are hot, you are pitching Kersh, and you will be rewarded for it.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 25 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Here, friend, are some catchers that I will be targeting at my 2015 fantasy drafts after the top options are gone. I’m not going to get into the strategy of punting catchers. Been there, half-drunkenly wrote that years ago. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2015 projections. This is a (legal-in-most-countries) supplement to the top 20 catchers of 2015 fantasy baseball. Now, guys and four girl readers, I am not saying avoid catchers like Matt Wieters if they fall, but to get on this list, you need to be drafted later than 200 overall. And, to preemptively answer at least seven comments, yes, I will go around the entire infield, outfield and pitchers to target very late. Anyway, here’s some catchers to target for 2015 fantasy baseball:

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They say talent trumps experience. That said, they also say persistence trumps talent. They also say persistence pays off. Sorry y’all, got lost reading motivational posters it seems. But that’s what happens when you are trying to get people excited about Josmil Pinto for the 2015 Fantasy Baseball season. Believe me, I know it’s a bumpy road. I mean, haven’t we been down it before? The Twins organization has been a confounding crew, turning 5 year aged Malbec into two buck chuck (now probably three buck chuck…curse you, inflation!) for what feels like a long time. I mean, name the last Twins hitter you were actually excited to own? Chuck Knoublauch? And how have I made two references to ‘chuck’ in an opening paragraph and it’s not even about the same type of chuck? Weird times. All this to say, Josmil could be on the cusp of greatness…or getting traded…or being completely forgotten. Man I love those three true outcome guys! If you’re curious why I say these things, read on. Here’s my red hot take on why Pinto could be an exciting get as a second catcher in deep league settings for 2015 Fantasy Baseball…

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This top 20 1st basemen for 2015 fantasy baseball goes to about fiddy. Last year, I said the first base position is going through a transition. The position is still deep in that transition. We’ll come out of the other side this year with a good idea of where we stand. If Pujols continues to fall, if the washed up ones are completely done and if the up-and-comers are still on the move. Hey, that sounds like a commencement speech from a school for porn. Okay, let’s get into it because I can’t count to twenty and this list goes on forever. As always, for each player there’s my projections and where I see tiers starting and ending. There’s the position eligibility chart for 2015 fantasy baseball, and all the 2015 fantasy baseball rankings are under that linkie-ma-whosie. Anyway, here’s the top 20 1st basemen for 2015 fantasy baseball:

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I just went over the top 10 for 2015 fantasy baseball and the top 20 for 2015 fantasy baseball. Those were exciting, fun, adjective posts! I took a Snapchat of myself reading those posts and had to delete it after one second it was so hot! Now, this post, well, it’s the top 20 catchers for 2015 fantasy baseball. Most of you know how I feel about catchers. If you draft a catcher any time before the first 100 picks, you don’t know how I feel about catchers. Let me freshen up your cocktail with a splash of insight. I don’t draft top catchers in one catcher leagues. I Reggie Roby them. Last year, Posey was the top ranked catcher at the end of year. Yet, he was only the 8th best 1st baseman. The best catcher can’t spray aerosol deodorant on the top guy for another position. The last time Buster Posey had a huge season he followed it up with a stank season that had you wishing for that aerosol deodorant. In the top five catchers last year were Posey, Santana, Mesoraco, Lucroy and Gomes. Only two guys were drafted in the top 100. No one should draft a top catcher because there are no top catchers. They’re all hot garbage with a side order of gefilte fish, or kapelka as Q-Tip calls it. Catchers are unreliable to stay healthy; the job is grueling and takes its toll on offensive stats. There’s not much difference between, say, the tenth best catcher and nothingness. Last year, Dioner Navarro was the tenth best catcher. He was on waivers the entire season. He was the tenth best catcher with 12 HRs and .274. Yo, Q, forget kapelka, Dioner Navarro makes me vomit. Finally, a reason that is new to this current crop of catchers — they’re actually deep in mediocrity. You can draft the fifth best catcher or the 12th best and they’re tomato-tomato said with a different emphasis. Because I ignore the top catchers doesn’t mean I’m starting the top 20 catcher list at number twenty-one; some of you might want to know the top catchers. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them draft d’Arnaud. In two catcher leagues, catchers are a little more valuable, but I’d still prefer to avoid them. You can see other top 20 lists for 2015 fantasy baseball under 2015 fantasy baseball rankings. Listed along with these catchers are my 2015 projections for each player and where the tiers begin and end. Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2015 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In Los Angeles, Matt Kemp played for one of the most popular sports franchises in the world in the 2nd largest city in the country. In San Diego, the Padre fans pride themselves not on wins and losses, but how well the Chablis goes with the brie while they watch the game from the picnic area. In Los Angeles, Matt Kemp went to all the hottest nightclubs. In San Diego, he’ll be frequenting places that look like the bar where Jodie Foster was in The Accused. In Los Angeles, Matt Kemp hung out with the hottest celebrities. In San Diego, “Hey, is that Natalie from The Facts of Life?” In Los Angeles, Matt Kemp dated Rihanna. In San Diego, Kemp’s dating Natalie. It’s only a mere two and half hour drive, but the culture shock is going to hit Kemp as soon as he arrives because he’s going to have to surrender his Lamborghini, there’s a town ordinance that everyone must drive a Jeep with no doors that they put plastic bags over when it rains once a year. On the backside of the site, I’m currently churning through rankings that will be coming in January. I nearly ranked Kemp higher than I want to admit to now. I was believing the 150 games played, 25 HR, 8 SB, .287 season he had last year. Whether I believe it or not, going to San Diego is going to hurt his value. From hitting in the middle of an All-Star lineup to hitting in the middle of Yellowstone. Kemp said on his first day in Petco, “It took some time to get my bearings. In other parks, you can set yourself in the batter’s box by using the outfield fences as a guide. Here, you have to assume the outfield fences are out there somewhere.” Kemp has money coming to him either way, so if he became a 20 HR, 5 SB, .270 guy for a few years, it wouldn’t surprise me. For 2015, I’ll give him the projections of 72/22/81/.276/8. Oh, and, yes, I’m cautiously optimistic this means Joc Pederson will now be the starting center fielder in LA. For more, I already went over my Joc Pederson fantasy. Anyway, here’s some more offseason moves for 2015 fantasy baseball:

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