It feels like just the other day the baseball regular season started. You wrote “I heart baseball” in permanent marker on your arm, then you met a girl who wrote “I heart guys who heart baseball” on her arm, then, during sex in August, you screamed out “I love you, Arenado!” and now you don’t have baseball or a girlfriend. C’mon, calendar, make like a soldier and turn to March. The only cure for the post-baseball season blues — recapping the preseason top twenty lists and being hand-fed Doritos. First up, Cool Ranch and our preseason Top 20 Catchers for 2015. It’s important to look back before we look ahead to 2016. To paraphrase the one and only B-Real, “How do you know where you’re at, if you don’t know where you’ve been? Understand where I’m coming from?” It wouldn’t be fair for me to preseason rank the players, then rank them again in the postseason based on my opinion, so these postseason top 20 lists are ranked according to our Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. It’s cold hard math, y’all! Please, for the love that all is holy, don’t ask me if this is for next year. Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2015 fantasy baseball and how they compared to where I originally ranked them:Please, blog, may I have some more?
“All year. All. Year. I’ve been starting Jeff Samardzija in one 15 team league. It’s an NFBC league so I couldn’t drop him (there’s no waivers). It’s not a great league to bench starters. I had options like Colby Lewis and Adam Warren. Not great options. But, finally, yesterday, I decided enough was enough. If I was going to lose, at least I would lose with Samardzija out of my lineup. So, Samardnuts goes out and throws a one-hitter (9 IP, o ER, 1 Hit, Zero Walks, 6 Ks).” That was how I concluded the story to the doctor when I first ended up in the mental asylum. Samardzija is actually easier to type while wearing a straitjacket. Coincidence? Immediately following the story, I cackled myself to sleep in a puddle of my own bodily fluids. I’m not even sure what fluid it was. I’m guessing urine, but you got me on specifics. As we know, earlier this year Oxford Dictionary replaced &@*^&*@%! that connotes a curse word with Samardzija, and I can think of nothing more fitting than screaming SAMARDZIJA! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
You wanna know what’s on my mind? “If the Nationals wouldn’t have shut down Stephen Strasburg three years ago, would they have been eliminated a day earlier this year?” No, that’s not on my mind. “Is there anything to your business idea of selling 500-foot rulers outside the courthouse to people who just got restraining orders?” That’s been on my mind, but that wasn’t what I was thinking about now. “What does Strasburg offer us for 2016?” Yes, that was what I was thinking. How did you read my mind? “I’m you.” Shh, you’re ruining the illusion. Yesterday, he went 7 1/3 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 13 Ks. Prettttay, pretttay good. Of course, Effin Stressbird has been an ulcer all year with his 4.30 ERA, 1.23 WHIP and continual injuries that have left him with only 98 1/3 IP. When digging deeper — and it hurts me soul, Lupe Fiasco, to say this — he doesn’t look bad. His velocity went up this year to 95.3 MPH from 94.8; his K/9 is down 10.1 to 9.7, but I think that’s just due to his control, and a 9.7 K/9 isn’t bad. He hasn’t been as sharp with command, but couldn’t that be due to the back problems he’s fighting? I hate him as much as anyone that is making hashtags by combining MLK and the dipshit in Kentucky, but if I’m looking at his stats with impartial eyes, he doesn’t look terrible for 2016. For this year, just give me three more effin starts like last night, you Effin Stressbird. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’ve finally made it to September, and if you’re reading this post, that probably means that you’re still in contention or are looking to play spoiler to the guy who brags about how great his team is on draft day. At this point of the season, it probably wouldn’t be particularly useful to read 1,000 words on Dexter Fowler (and really, would it ever?), so we’re going to switch up the format over the next few weeks and take a quick look at some players who might help you bring home that fantasy title (as well as a few who won’t). This week, we’ll focus on hitters, and next week will be pitchers. Sound good? Dig it.
Here are a few hitters to consider adding/dropping over the next few weeks:Please, blog, may I have some more?
*swirls a glass, takes a gulp. spits it back in a bucket* “That’s vintage Justin Verlander,” said Kate Upton. “Okay, this might sound gross, but can you spit into my mouth?” That’s you getting up the nerve to say something to Kate Upton. I just thought of a moneymaking idea for Shark Tank! You stand outside of Comerica Park with a cardboard cutout of a naked Verlander and have people pay $10 to take a picture with him, pretending to be Kate Upton. Oh, and no, this post isn’t an attempt to Bleacher Report up Google’s rankings by mentioning Verlander and Upton repeatedly, though it does seem that way…Verlander/Upton, Verlander/Upton and Verlander/Upten for the illiterates. So, Verlander did look magnificent yesterday until the 8th inning when he began to tire, ending up with a one hitter –> 9 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners (1 Hit), 9 Ks with an ERA at 3.45. Big Magoo captured Verlander’s upside about two weeks ago with this post. Worth reading, but the key part (cause I know, y’all can only read so much), “Since the All-Star break, Verlander’s 7.25 K/BB ratio is the 5th highest among qualified starting pitchers, and his 1.1 BB/9 is the 6th lowest. He shares the same swinging strike rate (12.1%) as Jake Arrieta and Gerrit Cole over that span as well. Now, excuse me as I go drain the weasel on a picture of Grey.” Hey, wait a minute! I didn’t remember that last part. So, if Verlander is out there in your league, the one-hitter yesterday doesn’t seem to be a hirame. Sorry, I just had sushi. It’s not a fluke. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
It feels like only yesterday when everything was right in the world. An animated blue bird landed on my window ledge and sung to me about boobies and other things the republicans want to make illegal, then another animated bird joined him and sung to me about foie gras and other things the democrats want to make illegal, then a centrist animated bird landed and said a lot of nothing that could neither be refuted nor approved. Why do I have all of these damn cartoon birds but no Carlos Carrasco?! Yesterday, Carrasco hit the DL with a sore shoulder. This sounds to me like an early shutdown is not too far off. “Hello, shopping mall ear piercer, can you put a diamond stud in the hole in my heart that Carrasco left?” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
While the 2015 version of the Boston Red Sox has been a complete disaster for the most part, one redeeming element of this year’s team has been the surprising play of rookie Travis Shaw (+37.4%), who was the most added player in fantasy baseball over the past week. Entering yesterday’s play, he’s been one of MLB’s best offensive players in the 2nd half of this season, producing 16 runs, 6 homers, 13 RBI, and a .386/.431/.738 triple slash line in 72 plate appearances. Those numbers are especially surprising when considering his mediocre minor league results since being promoted to AAA in 2014 (.256/.319/.395 in 158 games). The upcoming slate doesn’t look too promising for him either, as the 25-year-old left-handed slugger faces Jose Quintana and Chris Sale over the next two days before heading to Citi Field to face the Mets over the weekend, where he’ll likely cede first base duties to David Ortiz for a game or two due to the lack of a DH for that series. In Shawshank terms, Shaw seems to be most similar to Tommy – the young, charismatic inmate who gets transferred to that prison and provides a spark before being unceremoniously snuffed out by the warden and the head guard. Like any hot schmotato, ride the streak while you can but have a backup plan ready for when the wheels fall off.
Here are a couple of other significant adds and drops in fantasy baseball over the past week:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Google defines disappointment as “the feeling of sadness or displeasure caused by the nonfulfillment of one’s hopes or expectations”. So far in 2015, I define disappointment as Ian Desmond, Victor Martinez, Jonathan Lucroy, Yasiel Puig, Matt Kemp, Robinson Cano, and Jorge Soler.
In 447 plate appearances Ian Desmond might have 14 home runs and 9 stolen bases, but he also has 128 strikeouts, a .223 batting average and a pathetic 135 points. Spread over 19 weeks, that’s an average of 7.1 points per week. That’s shit! There’s just no sugar coating it. His points per plate appearance is 0.308, which among batters with at least 300 plate appearances, is the third worst. Only Michael Bourn (0.279) and Addison Russell (0.296) are lower. So aside form this, what makes Desmond such a disappointment? In points leagues he had an average draft position (ADP) of 61 as the fourth shortstop to be taken. I would say the fact that he is the 28th ranked shortstop and most certainly should not be owned is more than enough reason.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Greg Bird was called up by the Yankees. I wonder if when Greg Bird dies his ghost will be harassed by a 1980’s black gang calling him Larry Bird. But, more importantly, let’s pray Bird doesn’t wear ball-hugger shorts. Whoever thought those 1980s shorts were a good idea? They were so tight, you can tell which players manscaped. When Marv Albert said someone was dribbling a ball down the court, I had to wonder which ball he meant. Yes! Bird, Greg that is, has done nothing but hit at every stop in the minors — 20 HRs in Single-A in 2013; 20 HRs in 2014 across three levels; 12 HRs across two levels this year with six homers in only 34 games in Triple-A. He’s also not the type to strike out a lot and knows how to take a walk, and not like it’s a bad thing as, “Hey, take a walk!” Bird started yesterday (0-for-5), but for now he’s a bench bat, but I get the sense the Yankees are going to start looking towards the future as of next year and Bird should be someone on dynasty and keeper radars. And you know I have me some radar love. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
A player’s eligibility is a huge factor in evaluating their price or draft status. All else being equal, a 20 home run outfielder is very different from a 20 home run shortstop. Of course, from this season to next there will be a number of hitters losing specific position eligibility, and thus their value takes a dip as well. The season is not yet over so these could change, but as of right now, we’re losing a lot of third base eligible players.
A few quick notes:
- The players are separated into their respective divisions. The following is not every player losing eligibility, just those most fantasy relevant.
- I’m using Yahoo! eligibility rather than CBS or ESPN not because of any specific fondness, but Yahoo! has the most lax requirements at 10 games appeared or five games started.
- I considered splitting up center field specific players from the general outfield, however in standard leagues no such distinction exists.
- All these players can be plugged into a utility spot, so when I say outfield only, I’m implying UTIL as well.