The peasant Royals decided to send their big bargaining chip for three chips and a chip to be named later. This comes just days after Dayton Moore said Zack Greinke wasn’t happy and the Royals were going to trade him. This is like Ted Hughes saying Sylvia Plath wasn’t happy so he was going to cheat on her. (That was for our three girl readers and the guys who took Feminist Literature to try to get laid. “I’m going to take Feminist Literature because it’s going to be just me and a bunch of chicks!” Three months later, “The class is just me and chicks that hate me.”) In 126 1/3 IP in interleague play, Greinke had a record of 10-6/4.42/1.24/112. That includes some young years when Greinke was manhandled by depression like CT manhandled Johnny Bananas in The Gulag, it includes NL teams in AL parks and it includes some relief work. I think he’ll be better on the Brewers. He’s a better pitcher now. I wouldn’t necessarily expect another automatic Cy Young year. Let’s face it, that was a year for the ages for Greinke. He will have a better offense and he won’t have to carry the entire starting pitching staff, which I imagine could be a drag if you don’t have the mental stamina. After last year, Greinke was wavering between a fantasy #1 and #2. Now there’s some shine back on him. I’d expect a 3.50 to 3.75 ERA with a solid WHIP and Ks. I’d have no qualms about drafting him as my first fantasy starter. Anyway, here’s some more moves and what they mean for fantasy baseball:
Alcides Escobar – Traded to the Royals. Doesn’t really change his value, he just needs to run. Alcides was actually going to get a sleeper post today before this trade went down. Now he’s getting a sleeper post tomorrow. Stay tuned! Or don’t! These are your choices. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Can’t decide if Roger Bernadina sounds like a park bench real estate agent or a telemarketer. Hey, this is Roger Bernadina– Hey, Roger, I’m in the middle of dinner. I’ll be quick. I just want to inform you that I’m hitting and stealing bases. Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Braves should totally give Derrek Lee the number 01 and paint him orange. Too bad Waylon Jennings isn’t around anymore to announce him when he comes up to bat. Lee-haw! The Cubs received back Tyrelle Harris, who I believe is a male model, Robinson Lopez, who dispenses candy from his neck, and Jeffrey Lorick, who owns the Marlins. Derrek Lee has hit 4 homers in his last four games and his numbers should only continue to trend upwards as we head into the home stretch. I could see him getting to 24 homers on the year; he’s at 16. Do the math! The real LUZR in this is Troy Glaus, who the Braves put on the DL with a severe case of We-Don’t-Want-To-Play-You-Anymore-itis. It’s curable, but you usually need a new team. Kelly Johnson had a similar malady when he played for the Braves. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Xavier Nady – 1-for-3 as he played 1st base yesterday, but Micah Hoffpauir was recalled. Hip-hip-Hoffpauir! Not really. I wouldn’t pick him up in any league until I saw him start hitting. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brian Fuentes hurt himself lifting weights. Can’t he just take HGH like every other freakin’ major leaguer. Hayzeus Cristo, my closer luck has been terrible so far this year. The closerousel has made me really nauseous. Forget SAGNOF, more like CRYNOF, which acronyms to nothing but has “cry” in it. Fernando Rodney is the immediate pickup, but, if your leagues are like mine, he’s gone already. I grabbed Kevin Jepsen where I could for the chance that he might sneak in and grab a save or two. Fuentes says he’ll be back as soon as his DL stint is up, but, if Rodney runs with the job, don’t be surprise to see Scioscia call shenanigans. SABCS — Scioscia Always Be Calling Shenanigans. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Kevin Gregg – Officially takes over the closer role. Gregg will probably drop a turd nugget in his next game and lose the job back to Frasor. Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m beginning to think with Billy Beane that the emperor’s wearing no clothes. Moneyball is still a great book, Joe Morgan is still a moron and Chad Bradford is still an underhander. Those things are true. But the A’s were 4th in the Majors last year in steals — what happened to steals cost outs? Not to mention, Beane’s team hasn’t been competitive in three seasons. Was Moneyball just a symptom of the era? Was it simply fortuitous that Beane’s coronation came during the era of the three run homer? Was Moneyball a by-product of steroids? Would Moneyball be written today? Hard to imagine Michael Lewis sitting down with a GM of a sub-.500 club and polishing his pedestal, right? And none of this has to do with fantasy baseball or Ben Sheets. (I wrote the preceding the other day, then right before I posted this I saw Sky Andrecheck wrote an SI piece in the similar ballpark. Literally.)
If Sheets can stay healthy, he’s liable to return more than his ADP. That “if” is ginormous. That “if” sits next to you on a plane and you can’t put down the armrest. You show up at a party of 500 Tongans and that “if” is the second biggest thing in the room after the buffet table. You hook up with that “if” at a bar and people will think you’re beer goggling. Okay, I think I made my point. The other issue with Sheets is his falling K-rate. Back in 2005, if Sheets was healthy, he was a Cy Young-type performer. Regularly posting 200+ Ks and next to no walks. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Edinson Volquez left the game after the 1st inning. Hey, that Edinson-Josh Hamilton trade looks pretty even again, huh? Volquez was complaining of finger numbness. Was it cold? Maybe he can pitch wearing mittens. If it’s finger numbness from non-weather related reasons, it’s not a good sign. I wouldn’t be surprised if Volquez ends up back on the DL. Okay, here’s a pretty general thing that generally applies (ain’t that something?), a pitcher is suffering from anything to do with his throwing arm? You want out. Let someone else deal with the agita that comes with a pitcher dealing with arm issues. Kazmir, Ervin, Baker, etc. I’ll probably be touting you to draft them all next year. I wouldn’t go near any of them this year, unless the deal was ridiculously lopsided. Obviously, Volquez has more value than the other three schmohawks I mentioned, but be wary. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Grady Sizemore – News hasn’t gotten better. If rest on the DL doesn’t heal his elbow, he’ll need surgery and will be out at least 6 weeks. I’d say you’d be lucky to get a decent September out of him, if surgery’s necessary. Please, blog, may I have some more?
I wrote this blurb about Daisuke Matsuzaka, then ran it through an online Japanese translator then converted it back to English. Here’s what came out — “Dice-K’s arm fell asleep! You wish he was going to recover like Tom Cruise in The Last Samurai after he found humility. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Lastings Milledge was sent to the minors yesterday clearing room for Elijah Dukes to cover for him in center and probationary hearings. Luckily, on his way out of town, Milledge stopped by Razzball HQ with some “word science.” After you read the rhymes Milledge dropped, feel free to drop him. Please, blog, may I have some more?
In the 2009 fantasy baseball rankings, we already went over 2009′s top 40 outfielders. But like Jacques Cousteau once may have said to his underachieving son, “That’s not deep enough.” There’s more outfielders to draft than there’s members of the Wu-Tang Clan, so we take it to the top 60 outfielders for 2009 fantasy baseball. If you think there’s no value to be found this deep in the position, ask someone who owned Nate McLouth, Jacoby Ellsbury or Milton Bradley last year. Anyway, here’s the top 60 outfielders for 2009 fantasy baseball:
41. Please, blog, may I have some more?
2008 Fantasy Baseball is similar to every of year of fantasy baseball in its dissimilarity of the similar. Hey, I sound like Dr. Suess after three Coladas. (BTW, I’m not implying Dr. Seuss was a drunk. He seemed like a peyote man to me.) To paraphrase Sinatra, “Fantasy baseball surprises… Yeah, we’ve had a few.” Since it’s almost halfway through the 2008 season, here’s a look at the top twenty fantasy baseball surprises according to me. Please, blog, may I have some more?