Greetings! Ahhh, nothing quite like receiving the honor of writing the Friday night roundup. I imagine its quite similar to receiving the Medal of Honor, the Purple Heart, or maybe a Nobel Peace Prize. It certainly feels a heckuva lot better than the pride of Julio Urias‘ owners on this fine Saturday. Yeah, Urias was a real spark plug for Dodger nation last night..Sorry, did I say spark plug? I meant butt plug. They were hoping for Justin Timberlake, but instead received JC Chavez. We all expected Christian Bale, but the performance was more Christian Slater. 2.3 innings pitched with three earned and four walks sounds more like Jorge De La Rosa than Jose Fernandez. With that being said, I’m not concerned with the outing whatsoever. That’s also possibly because I don’t own him anywhere, and don’t really care either way. Best of luck to you all though, my goodmen!

Anyway, here’s what else I noticed yesterday in fantasy baseball. Take heed!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Devon Travis was activated from the DL yesterday (1-for-4, 1 run).  Be interesting to see what he can do in his return from shoulder surgery.  Shoulder surgery never really stopped anyone from doing well before.  “Yes, Michael Brantley?  Ask your question.  Okay, if you’re not going to ask your question, at least put your arm down.  You can’t put down your arm?  Oh.”  The Blue Jays said that Travis could move up the order soon, and hit leadoff.  No way, Azul Jays!  You mean Jose Bautista isn’t a leadoff hitter?  That’s downright shocking.  I never would’ve guessed that.  Shiver me Timberlands, and stockpile my hatch chiles before Trump kicks New Mexico out of the union.  There’s been a lot of talk in the comments about how unenthused I am for Travis, and it’s not entirely true.  I would take a flyer on him in all leagues, but it takes hitters a while to return from shoulder surgery, so I’d tempura my expectations.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

While Bryce Harper is ice cold, Major League Baseball’s other superstar, Mike Trout, is heating up. Over the last seven days, Trout is batting .370 with two home runs and gets a cake matchup on Tuesday night. It may be tough to fit Trout into your lineup given his price tag, but it’s going to be worth it. Trout is like a tall glass of water. He’s a beacon of light on the hill. A superstar in his mid-20s, Trout is who women want and who men want to be. If you can fit Chris Sale and Trout in the same lineup with a solid number two SP, you could be well on your way to god status. Alright, enough with the superlatives. Just play Trout and enjoy the elite production.

New to DraftKings? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday May 30th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

In a world where humans are fed up with umps missing calls and players getting injured … Chappie takes the mound! Some people are preaching for robot umpires, but what about robot pitchers! Wouldn’t you love to have a robot pitcher on your team? Don’t worry about overuse and Tommy John surgery, you just need to grease the elbow joint between innings. And no more hanging sliders when you only up one run in the bottom of the ninth. Okay, the LAST thing we need is another Chappie movie. Let’s talk about the human pitcher J.A. Happ. Humans make mistakes, and many mistakes were made in Happ’s last outing. Happ only managed to throw 2 innings while giving up 8 runs. Luckily for him, he gets to face the Twins today. Nothing says bounceback match up like a lefty facing the Twinkies. Against LHP, they have only 18 runs, 2 HR, a .576 OPS, and 25% K rate. Meanwhile, the Jays get to tee off against Pat Dean, who is unlikely to make it make it into the 6th inning. The Twins bullpen has surrendered 79 runs, 23 HR, .289 batting average, and an .837 OPS. So if the Jays cant get after the 90 MPH throwing lefty Dean, they should be able to strike against the weak bullpen. Twins pitching should easily put Happ in line for the win if he can improve from his last appearance. With Twins inability to hit lefties and their far from fabulous pitching, Happ at $8,100 should be a safe play today. Introducing, Chappie 3: The DFS Guru – Let us find some deals for you today!

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday May 23rd to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If there is one thing that rarely scares me in DFS, it is ace pitchers facing off against a high-powered offense. Clayton Kershaw against Toronto; so what? Noah Syndergaard against the Cubs–big deal. Outside of a road start at Coors Field, I don’t ever overthink using an ace. The question that needs to be answered is whether or not Danny Salazar is an ace. In some folks’ eyes, he certainly is. From other viewpoints, he’s a solid number two with upside. There is probably a third group that says he’s totally overachieving, but they’re wrong and their opinion doesn’t count. This brings us to Wednesday’s split slate. The Houston Astros have a very good offense with a ton of power. On the flip side, they lead the league with 318 strikeouts. It’s either boom or bust for the Astros and with a strikeout specialist like Salazar on the mound, I’m willing to bet on bust. Salazar is holding opponents to a .142 average and has struck out 43 batters in 37.2 innings pitched. Walks are still a problem for Salazar (3.8 BB/9), but he has negated that by allowing a league low 4.3 H/9. He is the best pitching option on the board with the most upside and it isn’t even close. Use him in both GPPs and cash games.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jung Ho Kang returned to the Pittsburgh line up after being sidelined since last September with a fractured tibia and what a return he had. Tibia shmibia! Kang came back with style, hitting two ding-dongs and going 2-for-4 with 3 RBI. Talk about gung ho! Talk about an obvious headline! What? You think you can do better? Go ahead and try. Please don’t I need that .0001% of a cent per page view every month if I want to afford my obsessive soba noodles and MOBA habit. Kang slashed .287/.355/.461 last season with 15 homers and 58 RBI.  If there’s a possibility Kang is somehow still available in your league now’s your chance because he won’t be long. Me suspects manager Clint Hurdle will ease Kang into the daily line up slowly, but if he keeps hitting dingers we should see him playing everyday sooner rather than later. From the looks of it, Kang is going to pick up right where he left off and be a valuable fantasy asset immediately.

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Adam Conley threw 7 2/3 innings, of “exciting” no-hit baseball Friday night, striking out seven Brewers en route to his first win of the season. Manager Don Mattingly pulled Conley after 116 pitches and left it up to Miami’s bullpen to blow Conley’s no-hitter. Sigh, the Miami fan(s) need someone to cheer for now that their star player Dee “I Didn’t Know We Couldn’t Do That” Gordon betrayed them. And I won’t even mention that other power-hitter outfielder (a complicated restraining order actually prevents me from mentioning his full name, let’s just call him G. Stanton–or better, Giancarlo S.) Adam ain’t worried about it. YOLO. Speaking of YOLOing, how about that new Drake album? Uh, singasongmuch? Please stop. I get the whole calypso/R&B/I’mdoingthistobangRihanna vibe the album has and I’m not feeling it. Meanwhile, Mr. Drake, you are depriving fans of some of the best Canadian rap the world has to offer. Oh, hey tangent, we were talking about Adam Conley! The lefty now possesses a 3.67 ERA and 1.22 WHIP through four starts with a 28/12 K/BB rate (9.33 K/9). Mmm, strikeouts. Adam’s 72.2% swinging strike percentage (including 14 in last night’s game) suggest that the strikeouts are for real. That could help your fantasy team. Like Drizzy’s new album, he’s been a bit inconsistent, but Conley gets Arizona next week, he’s available in over 80% of fantasy leagues and he could be worth a pick up in deeper mixed and NL-Only leagues. Why not take a flier–you only YOLO once!

Here’s what else I saw Friday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Thursdays often feature small slates of games, and this time is no exception. There are only four games in the nightly slate, and that is what I will focus on here. In case you’ve never seen a Marlin, it’s a very big fish… We will have a bunch of those featuring in our lineups today as we look to end Kenta Maeda’s hot streak on the hill. I don’t have much to say about marlins other than that you should look one up; they are pretty fascinating creatures… I’ll even feed you one fun fact now! The blue marlin can reach 16.4 feet in length; four of those would get us to homeplate from the mound! Without further ado, here are your DraftKings picks for the day.

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 10 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care! If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“Hi, I work in the front office for the Twins and I’m ordering lunch.  I was wondering what you have that’s old that you can give us a discount on.  Can you eat old pork?  Hmm, let’s try it with extra sauce.  John Ryan Murphy briefly converted to Judaism, or so he wrote in 6-point font inside his lined notebook where he talked about murder, but he’s back to the gentile side of things.  I’d also like to know if any of your very old or very young employees want to join our pitching staff.  We can’t pay them in money, but Byung ho Park and Kurt Suzuki often wrestle together, reenacting Foxcatcher, and it’s just fun to be around when that happens.  Gotcha, okay, just send the old pork then!”  Incredibly, the Twins reached into their oh-so-deep pockets, pulled out some lint and decided to call up their top pitching prospect, Jose Berrios.  He’s only been ready for about three years now; crazy to start his clock now when they could’ve held him down in Triple-A for another five years.  Never underestimate the Twins’ frugality.  It’s FRU-JOUL-LAY, it’s Italian!  Here’s what I said previously about him, “A team like the Tigers would’ve promoted Berrios about two years ago.  No fear, John Deere, Berrios is still only 21 years old.  I’ve seen people peg Berrios as having #3 fantasy starter upside, but I see him landing eventually with a barely-2 BB/9 and 9 K/9 from his mid-90s MPH fastball and plus-curve.  That makes him a borderline fantasy ace in the making.  Of course, as a rookie, there will be stretches where he doesn’t look like that, but want a guy that could come on and give you a Shelby Miller in 2015-type year?  Berrios has that potential.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Yes, I’d grab him, yes, in your league too.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Josh Tomlin continued his early season success pitching 6.2 innings of four hit beisbol, allowing just one run and striking out four for his second win of the year. Josh is now 2-0 through his first two starts with a 1.54 ERA, 0.77 WHIP and 10 strikeouts. He’s available in over 90% of ESPN leagues. Am I missing something? Tomlin was part of my championship pitching staff last year. No. I didn’t win, but I still made the finals, so that counts as a championship team, right? Tomlin finished 2015 especially strong giving up just 14 runs in 49.3 IP with a 44/3 K/BB rate, and two complete games. Can he keep it up? Let’s look at the stats. First, Josh’s ESPN player page photo looks a whole lot like Bradley Cooper. Second, Tomlin’s .219 BABIP for 2015 was laughably low, and he’s not exactly a strikeout machine. That said, he doesn’t walk anyone either. Doode throws strikes, and his 3.2 BB% from 2015 is no fluke. If we look further into the advanced stats (NERD!), we see Josh doesn’t induce a lot of ground ball outs either, and his fly ball percentage was 46.2 last year. Basically, he could give up a lot of long balls. Or not, what do these numbers know anyway. I’ll tell you what I know. Josh Tomlin has been pitching very well dating back to last September and he has a juicy match up with the Twins next week. He’s certainly a worthy streaming option in the right match up and I’d give him a chance next week in Minnesota.

Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?