R.A. Dickey will not be remembered for what he did before wearing a
Rangers, Brewers, Mariners, Twins, Met’s uniform. Nor will he ever be remembered for his mediocre fastball or equally mediocre changeup. He likely won’t be remembered for his scrumptious beard. (Actually, I have no proof of that. He *should* be remembered for his facial hair, since all beards are regal and spiffy in nature and form, but I will leave that in the capable hands of history.) No one will remember that he was born without an ulnar collateral ligament in his elbow. Or that he climbed Mount Kilimanjaro to raise money for awareness of human trafficking. Or even that he had been sexually abused as a child. While all these things are noteworthy, the truth of the matter is, he will most certainly always be remembered for throwing a very goofy pitch, and throwing it in a very special way. For baseball fans, like myself, who are enamored with such an unconventional baseball skill, this is still quite a special thing to be remembered for. Though we should at least try to remember the beard too.
R.A. Dickey will not be remembered for what he did before wearing a
Chris Narveson, his name makes me think of the insurance guy from Groundhog Day. Am I right or am I right-right? His name also would sound good recited by Chris Cornell. Chris Narveson, won’t you come and wash away the rain? Won’t you come. Won’t you come. Narveson was in my top 80 starters. Let’s see what I said there, “Hmm… I don’t remember and I’m too lazy to click on the link to the actual blurb. No one actually reads stuff I quote from myself so I’m gonna pretend I just explained Narveson to a T.” And that’s me quoting me! Yesterday, he had the line of 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks. He’s also 29 years old, so I’d preach a bit of caution. He’s good for Ks (7+ K/9), dangerous on walks and around a 4.00 ERA starter in the NL. So that’s good, meh, serviceable. In any league deeper than 12 team, he should be owned. In 12 team leagues, I’d take the flyer where I had room. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Rickie Weeks – 2-for-4 with his 3rd homer in 4 games. On one hand, I’d sell him. On the other hand, who are you selling him for? On my third lesser known hand, I’m wearing a puppet while talking out of the corner of my mouth.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’re gonna try and turn over a new, positive leaf here at Razzball. No longer are we going to sing the blues when one of our favorites doesn’t make the team. We’re gonna emoticon all over your face for someone else. That other person just happens to be the guy replacing Mike Minor in the rotation. Three ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to introduce to you, Mr.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Oh, Hanley Ramirez is Hanley Ramirez, and a guy that will play a bit bruised giving it his all is a guy that will play a bit bruised giving it his all, and never the twain shall meet. (I think a “twain” is a train as pronounced by Elmer Fudd. Don’t quote me on that though. It could be referring to Shania. My Google’s broke so I’m shooting from the hip.) Hanley playing with Pujols’ level of dedication is probably the best shortstop anyone has ever seen. Hanley as he is now is probably Andruw Jones in five years. As I’ve said before about Manny, insouciance doesn’t age well. Hanley hasn’t played since last Wednesday, but for now he’s listed as day-to-day. Half of me says hold out hope for Hanley to return ASAP. The other half of me says he has 2 homers and 4 steals this month. You can probably find that production elsewhere in the last two weeks. Since Hanley is undroppable in most formats, it’s all probably moot. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Chris Volstad – 9 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks as he handily beat Carpenter (6 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks) and the Cardinals. I’ll tell ya what, when the Cards fold, they don’t play.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hello, new readers. No, this isn’t High Times dot com, but don’t worry there’s Doritos at the end of this post. Hey, don’t skip ahead. You have to read the post first. Yes, the computer is talking to you. Aw, I’m just messing with you. The computer’s not talking to you. You’re just reading, silly! So, Bud Norris didn’t come out of nowhere to be my new Razzpick du jour. Yesterday, he went six innings, giving up one run and K’d 4. In the not-too-decent past, I mentioned liking his upside. For our friends in Latin America, the caveat is his wildness. The love comes from the fact he has more Ks than innings. There’s only ten other starters with more than 110 innings in the major leagues that can claim that. That’s one starter for every finger. Unless Antonio Alfonseca is reading this. The wildness is still there, but he hasn’t walked more than 3 batters in a game since April. I’d absolutely grab Norris for the last month if I needed Ks (who doesn’t?) and some upside (of course you do). Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Chris Johnson – 4-for-6, 1 RBI in a 16th inning game that saw Roy Oswalt play left field and Tim Kurkjian’s voice cracking at the sheer craziness of the game. Can you believe this game, fellas?!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Paul Konerko went 5-for-5 yesterday with his 31st homer. Paul Konerko is also winning your league for you. You had your back up against the wall. You took Hanley in the first round, Halladay in the 2nd and then you hit the 20th round and you were like, “Hmm… I totally screwed myself by not taking a 1st baseman. Do I take that guy on the Marlins with a girl’s name or should I take Konerko?” When you took Konerko, you figured you would need to trade for someone. Whoa, what’s this? Konerko’s hitting? “Hey, baby, you’re eating dinner by yourself tonight. Paul Konerko due up sixth this inning, according to Fantasycast. Now please don’t come into my man cave.” When you go to the White Sox Fantasy Camp in seven years, you can tell him how he won your league for you while ruining your marriage. These late round fliers in drafts are always so maddening. If I would’ve just took Konerko instead of Stupid-Face Headley. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Mark Buehrle – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks. His season ERA is down to 3.87 and 12 wins is pretty good, but that’s now 8 Ks in 28 IP for August. Is there a less aptly-surnamed player in the game? Seems like Mark Crafty or Mark Wiley would be better names.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The save vulture is a scavenger bird. They see weakness in others’ misfortune. A closer goes down or struggles and the save vulture swoops in and gnaws on the closer’s handcuff. Peck, Brandon League, peck. The save vultures are indigenous to rural and metropolitan areas, especially if a trade is in progress. Goodbye, Rauch. Hello, Drew Storen, Tyler Clippard and Sean Burnett. Save vultures have trouble reproducing because they’re usually overweight guys who would prefer to listen to sports news than what the girl they’re dating is talking about. “How does my manicure look?” “Very pretty, Joel Hanrahan.” “Did you just call me, Joel Hanrahan?” “No.” Kevin Gregg, Kerry Wood, Joakim Soria any of them can be traded in the next 24 hours. If you need saves, there won’t be many saves coming into the league after the trade deadline. If you need closers, now is the time to swoop, save vultures. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Domonic Brown – If I keep talking about Domonic, I’m gonna have to do a spin-off blog, Razzbrown. My Domonic Brown fantasy is clickable.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Scott Podsednik traded to the Dodgers. Call ‘em The Podsgers! Should be convenient for his wife — much closer to the Playboy mansion. Or so I read in an article in Playboy about Playboy while not looking at the pictures. So Pods comes to L.A.Please, blog, may I have some more?