I know a lot of writers want Beddict gone, but my kind of beef will f%#k up ya grill and not the kind you put franks on. Greetings all!!! Tis I, Tehol, Razzball’s head to head expert, points league expert, fantasy football champion, and the most prestigious male model/fantasy writer in the world. I come to you today even more full of testosterone than usual for I just devoured 2 dozen oysters and injected some moose testosterone. Do you worship the ground Wil Myers walks on? If so you will like this post. If you are obsessed with Twilight, Kristen Stewart, or her character Bella, then you may have stumbled across the wrong article. Quick side-note. How many MF’ing people am I going to meet with dogs named Bella? Or kids for that matter!?!? Yeah, it seemed like a cool name before the books/films caught on like wild fire and now there’s 3.2 million people with Pit bulls named Bella. Don’t be ashamed people. JUST CHANGE IT!! Let’s move on.Please, blog, may I have some more?
“Yo Jaywrong, I’m really happy for you…Imma let you finish your list. But Grey had one of the best lists of all time! One of the best lists of all time!” -Kayne West (Yes, because Kayne calls me late at night. BELIEVE IT BRO.)
Spoiler Alert! We’re doing things deep league style, keeper league style, dynasty style, which ever nomenclature you prefer. Basically, if you hold onto players for more than a year, these are the rankings you’ve been waiting your whole life for. Whole life man. Seriously. Remember, the process for this list is quite different. Unlike Grey, I didn’t type half of it with my mustache. (Mainly because I don’t have one at the moment. Dating! I know, don’t get me started.) Think of it this way. If a draft for a new deep/keeper/dynasty league started today, this is my idea of how it would go, or rather, how I think it would go if the league had anywhere from 12 to 20 owners that were me. That’s a whole lot of Jaywrong ladies. Hey baby, how you doin’, what’s yo name, what’s yo number? (times 12-20.) The actual process involves things like current and remaining production for 2013, projections for 2014-2016, along with future potential, position scarcity, and injury-risk. One things for sure. I believe in the Oxford comma. Wait, what?
Note: I’ve only ranked players who have pitched at least one inning or had one at-bat in their MLB career. Our prospect maven, Scott Evans, has the low down on all those MiLB guys I left out and will have his mid-season list out on Saturday. Go bother him. With hugs and kisses. I’m sure he’s a very handsome man. But I’ve never seen him, so, well, just trust me.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Oh there’s a shindig goin down in Miami ya’ll! Part of me feels like I should hop on the next flight down there bringing only my man-kini, penis pump, rabbit-fur coat, white Stacy Adams, one pair of snakeskin pants, and 3 Armani Exchange bro-tops. My manhood has been requested back in Miami now for some time and with my favorite player, LeBron “The High King” James, leading his Miami Heat to back-to-back Championships, I can’t think of an acceptable reason to say no. Especially when I think about the time Pat Riley and I, Chinese finger trapped Chris Bosh’s wife. A$$ for days playas! By the way, Bosh scored 0 points in game 7.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Recently, Grey came out with the mid-season ranking list-o-rama and it got me thinking… perhaps I should put my head and other extremities into the arena and formulate something that can help my fellow deep league platonic lovers fulfill their fantasy list appetite.Please, blog, may I have some more?