Here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna be out at a family BBQ for Memorial Day. Your weird uncle that has coke bottle glasses is going to ask your girlfriend if she’ll pass the potato salad just so he can get a glimpse of her bra when she moves her arm, and then your friend is going to text you, “Anthony Rizzo called up! I grabbed him… Lqqk who sucks –> You! Say hello to your mother for me.” First thing you’re gonna think is, why are you friends with this guy? Bad enough he’s an ass, but he uses Q’s for O’s. Second thing you’re gonna think is, why you didn’t grab Rizzo and stash him a week ago? He is absolutely raking in Triple-A: .359 average, 13 homers in 37 games. LaHair’s obviously not getting benched, but he can slide into the outfield and Rizzo will be playing 1st base for the Cubs by June 5th. You can wait until June 4th if your league needs Nerf to supply the balls, but, in most leagues, you better grab him soon. In the meantime, let’s start calling Rizzo “The Scer.” You know, if Phil Rizzuto was The Scooter. Okay, maybe that doesn’t work. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Dale Thayer – Street’s closed, use alternate route. I’d consider going down Thayer. Street’s supposed to open again in a few weeks, but city planners and construction have already closed this Street 15 times in the last few years from just wear and tear. Chances are it’s up and running again are never definite. Please, blog, may I have some more?
In the preseason, I said Adam Lind could contend for the MVP. Wow. It’s almost like Matthew Berry put that thought in my head. In a litany of dopey things I’ve said, that might take the cake, frost it and smush it into my face. The Berry feeds the Grey (bad advice), the Berry feeds the Grey (bad advice)… Hi-ho, the marry-o… What was I thinking?! In my defense, he didn’t have an ailing back when I said that flimflammery and I told you to drop him outright a few weeks ago. Oh, well, that’s what you get sometimes from crazy predictions. Just flat-out crazy. Like I should be walking into traffic in a burlap sack crazy. So the Jays added a third A to Lind’s first name, sending him to the minors. Since he was hitting like an infant, it makes sense. In his place, the Jays called up Yan Gomes. What’s with people and the last name Gomes unable to spell John? Yanny was hitting .359 with 5 dingers in Triple-A. Whatever, right? Well, he’s a catcher, so those are like MVP (dah!) numbers. In AL-Only leagues, I could see grabbing him. Right now, he’s behind J.P., Mathis, Lawrie and Encarnacion, but Lawrie’s got a suspension and Edwin just made an error and the Jays game doesn’t even start for 12 hours, so Yanny could see time all over the field. Yesterday, he played third and went 2-for-3. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brett Lawrie – Unable to decide on the shadow coat rack or just bad calls, he dropped his appeal. He is also practicing counting to ten before blowing his top. As soon as he figures out what comes after 6 it should be a breeze. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Chicago Cubs 2011 Minor League Review
Organizational Talent Rankings via Baseball America:
2011 (16) | 2010 (14) | 2009 (27) | 2008 (18) | 2007 (18) | 2006 (15)
2011 Affiliate Records
MLB: [71-91] NL Central
AAA: [66-77] Pacific Coast League – Iowa
AA: [83-57] Southern League – Tennessee
A+: [76-61] Florida State League – Daytona
A: [60-79] Midwest League – Peoria
A(ss): [36-40] Northwest League – Boise
The Run Down
The Cubs’ MLB-ready talent doesn’t extend too far beyond Anthony Rizzo and Brett Jackson. A few relief prospects and a backup catcher could crack the big league roster, but there aren’t a slew of guys here who are ready to contribute in the majors. Even so, Rizzo and Jackson alone are sufficient to generate fantasy buzz. And behind them, the Cubs have youthful types like Matt Szczur, Javier Baez and Dillon Maples. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Chicago Cubs 2010 Minor League Review
Overall farm ranking via Baseball America (2010):
2010 (15) | 2009 (27) | 2008 (20) | 2007 (18) | 2006 (15) | 2005 (10) | 2004 (7)
Record of Major League Team and Affiliates
Majors: [75 – 87] NL Central
AAA: [82 – 62] Pacific Coast League – Iowa
AA: [86 – 53] Southern League – Tennessee
A+: [75 – 64] Florida State League – Daytona
A: [71 – 66] Midwest League – Peoria
A(ss): [34 – 41] Northwest League – Boise
R: [26 – 29] Arizona League
The Run Down Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Cubs received Matt Garza and Fernando Perez for pitcher Chris Archer, outfielders Brandon Guyer, Sam Fuld, catcher Robinson Chirinos, and shortstop Hak-Ju Lee.
You know it’s September when I’m highlighting a guy that could possibly give you maybe one week of just slightly better-than-average stats. Enter stage left, Mark Ellis. Yesterday, he went 3-for-3 with his 4th homer on the season. Is there a meh emoticon? That’s Mark Ellis. He’s a big bottle of “Um, what the hey, I’ll grab Mark Ellis.” He is the guy on waivers that, even when hot, you don’t feel like the three clicks of the mouse to pick him up are worth it. I hear ya. I’m not exactly dropping superlatives on him like I’m Donald Trump describing anything. He’s now batting near .400 in September. Don’t make me tell you to grab him every day this week. Just get him now. He’s hot. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Jason LaRue – Due to multiple kicks to the face by Johnny Lawrence Cueto, LaRue’s retiring. Cueto obviously misunderstood when so many pitchers said they’d love to face LaRue. Please, blog, may I have some more?