First, a story.  There was a young boy named Donkey Dong Jr. who worked at the barrel station of Niagara Falls.  He would rent barrels to tourists who wanted to go over the waterfalls in a barrel that was deemed to flimsy to hold wine in Napa Valley.  Then, one day, Robert Juiced Manfred showed up at his barrel station with a truck filled with baseballs that he was bringing back over the border from Guatemala.  See, he drove north from Guatemala, and Waze had him detour through Canada and back into the U.S.–Nevertheless!  R.J. Manfred stopped for some pop, and Donkey Dong Jr. said, “You’ve come to the right place,” and grabbed a barrel with his hands, swung it as hard as he could and hit every baseball in that truck 5,000 feet right back to Guatemala.  For pop, Donkey Dong Jr. said, “I love to barrel up.”  Fin.  So, Joey Gallo was the lead buy in an April Buy column.  Don’t like to double up on guys in a year, but here we are because you people are slow as molasses dripping down Robert De Niro’s face in Awakenings.  Gallo has 50-homer power, and is currently in some kind of zone not seen since McGwire stopped sticking needles into pre-peach-tinted Sammy Sosa.  How is he not owned in 50% of leagues?  Don’t answer, grab him!   Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Phils’ manager, Pete Macktheknife, said, “Everybody wants to see (Rhy Hoskins‘) bat but Tommy Joseph has done well enough where there’s enough games left for him to show even more improvement.  It’s hard. You don’t want to put Tommy Joseph on the bench so maybe (having Hoskins play outfield) is a way to do it.”  Hey, quick question, anyone got a participation trophy for Joseph?  Sounds like he could really use one!  “I accept this participation trophy on behalf of all the players who are at positions where the club has a better prospect in the minors, but is too cheap to promote them.  Especially to my runner-up, Shin-Soo, way to keep down Willie Calhoun!”  A bunch of prospblockers, the lot of you!  Don’t even get me started on the absolute craziness that you risk putting your top prospect in left field just to keep playing Tommy Joseph.  Hoskins should be okay out there, but there’s a ton more risk with injuries in left field than standing on 1st.  I grabbed Hoskins in all leagues.  He was top 30 for Prospector Ralph’s top 100 fantasy baseball prospects, and might be the last big name to come up that can make a difference.   For this year, I’d say Hoskins = Mark Reynolds with way fewer Ks.  Long term, well, I won’t say Votto, but his OBP is insane for a kid.  Scouts call players kids, did I sound like a scout?  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If you need a refresher on how insane Alex Wood‘s season has been, I got you. Wood has a 2.38 ERA in 98 1/3 innings with a 10.07 K/9 and 2.47 BB/9, including a 2.52 FIP and 2.96 Deserved Run Average, or DRA. Those are straight up ace numbers. So while he’s coming off of two bad starts, this is no time to avoid him. Wood is a perfect buy-low, as his price is usually much higher than $9,600. The 26-year-old lefty is one of the game’s most dominant pitcher, and with the Dodgers lineup behind him, it’s no wonder he’s got a 12-1 record. Wood is a near-lock for a win, along with some quality innings and lots of strikeouts.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Adrian Beltre was promoted to the Dodgers the same year I moved to Los Angeles.  I distinctly remember listening to AM sports radio a lot that summer, and, man, did people in LA hate Beltre.  With justification too, he struggled for six seasons.  When he finally broke out in 2004 (48 HRs, .334), no one believed it.  If you would’ve told people in LA, Beltre would be a surefire Hall of Famer, they would’ve thought you were related to him.  This would be the same as now saying Nick Castellanos will be a Hall of Famer in 14 years.  Yesterday, Beltre went 1-for-5, 2 runs and secured his place in history with his 3,000th hit.  Good on, Beltre, may all your cheap beers and head remain untapped.  As for fantasy, well, doesn’t mean anything, but it’s a hat tip, while a hat pat is forbidden.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Who’s got one thumb and hit over 60 home runs in their career? Sorry, Carlos Correa ain’t what I’m looking for. Yeah, so what if I spent my Tuesday night researching weird thumb stuff? We already know Correa wasn’t the first person to pull off a thumb injury like this. But hey, turns out, he’s not even the first person named Carlos to do it! Yep, former Chicago White Sox-ian Carlos May blew off his own thumb in 1969 while serving in the U.S military. His story is one hundred and ten times cooler than Correa’s, and it’s kinda scary that he went on to have a more productive career with one appendage, than 40% of all Major League players.

A week after the All Star break is the best time to ignore actual stats and ride on a whim of “yeah, he should probably play better in the second half, my Dad thinks so”. It’s like a relapse of Opening Day optimism, only by now you probably know that your team sucks. Enough of the history/heartfelt reflection, though, here’s my take for Wednesday’s slate:

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Happy Friday fellow DFSers!  As you all likely know, Friday is the day of the biggest and best DFS contests of the week.  This makes sense, it’s a full slate day with all the games pretty much starting at 7 ET (Naturally we have 2 games starting early today…WTF Philly?  6:35, really?) and it’s basically the weekend, so everyone is fake working while researching and building their DFS lineups.  Hence, more action.  So let’s get started with the first piece of the puzzle as we try to get our piece of that big action, starting pitcher.  If you’re trying to win a GPP tournament where 100,000 of your closest friends are all trying to do the same, it helps to uncover that low owned play that scores big.  It’s always nice if that play is a pitcher so you can pay up for big bats in a good match-up, especially when Coors field is on the slate.  Tonight, I’m looking at James Paxton ($9,200) to be that play.  Most people will go towards Max Scherzer as the “safe” bet tonight.  That’s well and good but if you’re looking to differentiate yourself a bit, I’d look to Paxton instead.  The Braves are actually the 4th hardest team to strikeout this year.  Sure, Mad Max is an alien, but something has to give and I think his upside might be a bit limited.  Paxton of course has been less alien, more Jekyl and Hyde this year.  He does however, get a home date with the Oakland A’s, MLB’s 3rd most K-happy team.  It would not surprise me in the least if Paxton strikes out out as many A’s in 6 IP as Scherzer does in 8 IP, at which point the Nationals closer, Matt Blake Enny Sammy Solis Albers Treinen will surely lose the win for him.  So, stray from the pack a bit tonight and take a chance on Pax.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Happy Father’s Day to all but five of our readers.  I am not a father, but I have a dog I ignore most of the time, then play catch with after my wife tells me to, so, technically, I am a father too.  For Father’s Day, I went to see the Tupac movie, and to misquote him, “Back for a check, all respect to those who broke their neck to keep this movie in check, cause oh they made some mistakes with this movie majorly, damn, why does Jada keep paging me?”  I should’ve taken Cougs to see Wonder Woman, but I was afraid it would empower her.  One last note on Pop’s Day, MLB has pink bats for Mother’s Day, so they should have penis-shaped bats for Father’s Day.  Yesterday, Jimmy Nelson looked like he should be getting dogged by Jada Pinkett for keeping it too real — 9 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 10 Ks, ERA at 3.39.   His peripherals are right there to match — 9 K/9, 2.2 BB/9, 3.52 xFIP with the velocity to back it up, and, if you throw out April, his ERA would be near 2.50 with an xFIP to match.  The major change — excuse me, not change — the curve is his major key.  Hat tip to Lance and his Jimmy Nelson fantasy.  The crux of that is you should own Nelson and stop cruxifying him, and the crux of this is I don’t know how to spell crucify.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After homering in his fourth straight game, Matt Davidson (2-for-4, 2 runs) is halfway to Dale Long’s record of home runs in eight straight games.  A record I didn’t think would ever be matched, aside from it being matched twice previously by Ken Griffey Jr. and Don Mattingly.  Dale Long was mostly remembered for that record and getting to first base with his bat.  Good year for no-names whose last name ends in son:  Davidson, Morrison, Alonson.  The book on Davidson previously was a AAAA player, which is different than Mickey Mantle and David Wells.  That’s two AA players.  Sadly (for him), Davidson is playing so over his head that giraffes be like, “Yo, come down from there.”  In Triple-A, he was a 30% strikeout guy and is striking out at a 38% rate now, so he will hit .200 for the season and be an only-occasional home run guy.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

On Thursday night, Gumby will be taking the mound for the Yankees, taking on the Athletics at the Coliseum. Gumby, of course, is rookie left-handed pitcher Jordan Montgomery, who has put together a nice season thus far, with an 8.67 K/9 and a 3.27 BB/9. This is good for a 3.55 ERA and a 3.57 FIP, and there’s nothing in Montgomery’s profile to scream regression. He’s facing a weak A’s lineup that is 23rd in wOBA against lefties at .298, and in a great pitcher’s park. At just $7,500, Gumby is a great bang for your buck.

New to FanDuel? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Derek Fisher was called up by the Astros to replace the concussed Reddick.  First off, Derek needs to stop singing that jingle, “Trust the Astros Fisher, man.”  Tres annoying.  Saying tres instead of very is tres annoying, too. Fisher was hoping Reddick was some combination of reddish and haddock.  “Get that seaweed out of my face!”  That’s Nori Aoki.  Everyone in MLB is happy for Fisher except this guy.  If you thought Strickland-Harper was something… Sorry, for Derek Fisher, that was a layup.  As for fantasy, Fisher has power and speed, has had strikeout issues, but no worse than Bellinger.  He could be a difference maker if he plays 75%+ of the time.  One of the best guys in the minors this year.  Better on power than speed, inefficient as a runner.  Yes, PCL, but MLB is kinda PCL-like nowadays.  Might outproduce Brinson, though Fisher needs to stick in a job for that.  Yesterday, he went 2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs with his first home run, and I think Fisher is for reel, and not just on the casting couch.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?