Gird your loins – we’re going to be navigating positions battles in each division. Last week, I covered the NL East. Today I’m talking about the AL Central, which actually looks fairly interesting this year. At first glance, the Tigers should run away with the division. At a slightly closer glance, the Indians, Royals, and White Sox all appear to be trying to contend. Who knows? Maybe Verlander’s arm will fall off after pitching over 1,000 innings across the past four seasons, while Miggy and Fielder enter a 24/7 all-you-can-eat buffet in Vegas and never return. Anyway, here’s some of the position battles to keep an eye on in the AL Central:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Doozy’s on line two. Doozy, “Yeah, I got no words for this trade.” Holy Crapballs on line three. Holy Crapballs, “What’s there to say?” You’ve Got To Be Kidding’s on line four. You’ve Got To Be Kidding, “Hey, I’m here with Doozy… Hold on, I’m gonna merge the calls with Holy Crapballs. Okay, HC, you there? You’re on with Doozy and You’ve Got To Be Kidding. What do you make of this trade?” Holy Crapballs, “Well–Shoot, Are You Effin’ Joking is buzzing in.” Recently, I went over my Wil Myers 2013 fantasy. Yeah, that’s pretty much toast. Set a fire to it. Not literally. It’s on your computer. The Royals are basically the guy who held onto his virginity for thirty years then woke up one day and said, “Eh, I’m going to a hooker.” Wow. I’m speechless. Sure, they have Frenchy. But, um, it’s Frenchy. Jake Odorizzi and Mike Montgomery were only, what? A few months away? Sure, Montgomery’s lost some luster, but Odorizzi’s still a top prospect. He could be Wade Davis this year. Maybe Shields next year. Wil Myers, though, well Wil (almost stutterer!) is the meow’s cat. I wonder if the Orioles wish they had Erik Bedard still to trade for Myers and others. Wil Myers is ready to contribute and the Rays don’t hold back their prospects. He’s starting on Opening Day in the majors unless something unforeseen happens. As I said in that Wil Myers fantasy post, he’s a number three hitter, and a damn good one. He’s not going to give us a Trout-type rookie year, but those only come around once in never. He doesn’t possess blazing speed like Trout. He’s a 30+ homer, 110+ RBIs, .300+ average guy in his prime. Think easily fantasy 2nd round value numbers when he hits his groove. In October when I thought he’d start the year in Triple-A, I gave him the line of 40/18/50/.280/5. Now, I’ll up that to a full season of at-bats and 62/24/72/.277/8 with upside for more. Yeah, he plays in shallow, three-outfield fantasy leagues. Anyway, here’s some more offseason moves for 2013 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
After acquiring Francisco Cordero in a 10 player trade with the Blue Jays, the Astros shipped out Brett Myers and his $10 million vesting option in 2013 to the White Sox, leaving the Astros’ closer role up in the air. On the one hand, Houston had Wilton Lopez and his 59.8% groundball and 6.00 K/BB rates.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Did you know that Vapors song, Turning Japanese, is about masturbation? Because when said act is done, a man squints, hence turning Japanese. Things that are offensive aren’t always racist, but, in this case, they are. Too bad The Vapors follow up single, “When I Really Have To Pee, I Dance Like A Cherokee” never climbed the charts. So this morning, Selig, on advice from his toupee, is taking the greatest day, Opening Day, and putting it up against infomercials and a three hour loop of the Emergency Broadcast Network. Why the hell is Opening Day at 3:05 AM Pacific Standard Time, you ask. Because Selig is a f*cking idiot. That asterisk is a U, by the way. In case that wasn’t clear. Way to excite the next generation of baseball fans. Take Opening Day 6,000 miles west and have the two worst teams play. Could we not get the Padres to play the Washington Generals in Cape Horn? Anyway, for fantasy baseball, pick up anyone who may play, especially in H2H leagues. They’re all fair game. If I were you, I’d focus on the hitters. From what I’ve read, Japanese ballparks are smaller….Please, blog, may I have some more?
This is almost the end of the 2012 fantasy baseball rankings. With these top 80 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball, there’s a few names that I’m really gunning for on my teams… My deeper teams. On last year’s top 80, there were a few guys that shot up the rankings (Hellickson, Anibal, Garza and Zimmermann), so I imagine a lot of you won’t need most of the names on this list, but there will be some. Now humor me. There’s tiers and projections mentioned for everyone. Anyway, here’s the top 80 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball:
61.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Alex Gordon and Jeff Francoeur were shut down for the year because the peasant Royals want to give Lorenzo Cain and Jarrod Dyson a full three days to show their worth. Gordon’s line this year was 101/23/87/.303/17. Terrific! Wonderful! Tonderific! But if you peak under the hood, things aren’t as they seem. His BABIP is .358, easily a career high in the majors. His walk rate and line drive rate dropped from last year, and his ground ball rate nudged up. His homers and speed look about right, but if luck goes against him those two categories could get affected. He’s probably much closer to a .280 hitter with 17-20 homers and 12-15 steals. With just a tad bad luck, he becomes a fifteen homer guy with 10 steals and a .265 average. That’s far from spectacular. That’s spectaculess. I just made that up; you like it? You use it. As for Frenchy, his line was 77/20/87/.285/22. Oh, well, that looks pretty normal– Wait a second, 22 steals?! Where the eff in the effhole did those come from? His previous high was 8. He always failed to take pitches like he needed some ADHD medicine, but now he’s running the bases like it too. “Sorry, first base coach, whatever your name is, can’t stay at 1st, gotta run, peace!” That’s Frenchy, and he can’t even stop for a period at the end of sentences; he only has time for commas. He’s always been a notorious bad ball hitter. This year Frenchy swung at 41% of balls outside the strike zone, which is actually high for him, and his percentage of balls swung at inside the strike zone was actually down. Only thing that changed this year, he made more contact with pitches outside of the strike zone. If that stops along with his whacked out of his mind stealing, he may use 2012 to revert to his old ways, so it’ll be hard to give Frenchy my arrondissement. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the roundup, I just wanted to announce a very good friend of mine is putting on a one man show in Los Angeles. If you go see the play, you may just run into yours truly and my significant other — my mustache. If you can’t make it to Los Angeles or if you’re in Los Angeles but afraid to leave your house, you can buy his book. Anyway II, the roundup:
Hunter Pence – 3-for-5 with his 21st homer. Hey, that homer can drink legally! After Pence sat out for three games with a sore knee, it was good to see him return, unless you had him on your bench like I did. Sonavabench!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Asdrubal Cabrera strains his back, and, no “Asdrubal Strains Back” is not a sequel to a sci-fi porn movie. At this time of the year, any little thing can knock people for the remainder of the year. To help you picture what I’m saying, imagine this is April and we’re talking about Morneau. That’s how easily players can get knocked out. This injury comes on a day where Asdrubal hit his 24th homer. Even if Da ‘drubal doesn’t return, he gave you everything he had this year. Drubal took ’11 to 11. For next year, I’m pretty sure he’s going to be a tad overrated. He never hit more than 10 homers in any professional. He’s been consistent with power this year from month to month, but his HR/FB% soared away above anywhere it had ever been before. He should still be able to get around 15 homers next year, but if you get a 15/15 season, you’re suddenly wondering if a sure-to-be-underrated Jimmy Rollins isn’t a safer way to go. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Billy Butler – Missed yesterday’s game with the flu. Someone dump a Gatorade cooler of chicken soup over Butler’s head.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I started writing this week and kept getting distracted by the notion of a “tease” starting pitcher. These are guys we all see available every week at the top of our waiver wire. For some reason they hop on and off rosters, faster than the Easter Bunny. They all for some reason have an attractive quality, whether it be a great matchup, a previous decent start or just a general boyish quality that we find irresistible. We see the numbers they produce and sometimes numbers tell a different story than what really is going on for fantasy purposes. In the end, it comes down to picking a starting pitcher in a must win week is the same place that $30 steak goes to digest. So with the eve of playoffs upon us, here are the lower end 2 start options for the week. Good luck and happy fantasying.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We have officially come to the overlap week. It happens every year when baseball begins to wind down and the whole affection for drafting takes over with football. You think fantasy baseball websites are watered down, football takes that to a new level.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ed Wade’s Toupee has made it clear that he’s trying to move Hunter Pence in a trade. Why would the Astros want to hold onto their best player? He just gives his fans false hope. False hope is worst than no hope. See every movie John Singleton’s done since Boyz n the Hood for examples of what hope can do to you. Awesome, the guy who did Boyz n the Hood is gonna remake Shaft. No, not awesome. Terrible. Thanks a lot, false hope! Speculation has Pence going to Atlanta, Philly or the Red Sox. Speculation has me excited to own Pence. Shoot, speculation sounds like salvation for Pence. If Pence were a car, I’d put on him a bumper sticker, “Anywhere but Houston.” His RBIs haven’t suffered as much as you might think considering where he is, but it can only get better. And his runs, his lineup protection, potentially his ballpark. I like it. It’s a win-win-maybe win scenario. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Kosuke Fukudome – The Indians acquired the Japanese OF to help fill the void left by Korean OF Shin-Soo Choo. Hopefully Fukudome doesn’t get hurt or else they may bring in a Taiwanese Little Leaguer.Please, blog, may I have some more?