Fantasy Baseball Advice

Before we get to Khalil and Renteria, we’ll cover the deal between the South Siders and the Turner Southerners.  I already went over the trade and how it affect Javier Vazquez for 2009. That shizz is old.  Almost three days ago. Where you been? Topeka? Wait a second, what the hell am I talking about?  Oh, yeah, the Javier Vazquez trade for the other schmohawks. Wow, for a second I felt like Larry King talking gibberish.  Did you ever wonder if Larry King remembers what he said right after he just said something? I do. All the time. Anyway, here’s the other schmohawks that the White Sox received in the trade for Javier Vazquez and some other fantasy baseball implications:

Brent Lillibridge – Doesn’t his name sound like a Native American name for a person of small stature? Papa, I want to go on the Superman Tower of Power Rollercoaster! I’m sorry, Brent Lillibridge. You don’t reach Daffy Duck’s hand. Okay, so you’re showing Lillibridge and the dealer pulls Marcus Giles post-steroids. That’s a push.

Tyler Flowers – Flowers needs time to bloom — oofa! He’s a decent prospect, but he could still end up the way of, “What’s that guy’s name again?”  It’s still too early for him for fantasy, except in some deep 2009 keeper leagues.

Now back in for the two other schmohawks that changed hands, Khalil Greene and Renteria or as I like to call them — Ugly and Yawnstipating. Silent H went over to the Cards and Renteria to the Giants. So how does this affect their fantasy value and guys around them for 2009? Well, let’s see:

Khalil Greene – The Cards found their new nine hole hitter. Nah, I’m only half joking. LaRussa will prolly bat Khalil sixth and watch him hit 25/75/.240. Khalil is not going to suddenly take walks and have an OBP of .400. He’s in for a small boost in value leaving Petco, but doode could hit .235 in Coors. He’ll end up on some mixed league team towards the end of a draft, you should hope it’s not yours.

Edgar Renteria – Obviously the AL Central was too small for Renteria and Orlando Cabrera. You will die like the rebels in the parrot jungle! Renteria moves to the Giants where he will further disappear from fantasy radars.  In NL-Only leagues, Renteria is a good endgame target. Just don’t expect too much. He might quietly put up another .300 season and a handful of steals.

Luis Rodriguez/Sean Kazmar – Potential 2009 Padres Shortstops for $200, Alex. The answer is Luis Rodriguez and Sean Kazmar. Guys Who You Don’t Want On Your Fantasy Team in 2009?

Jack Wilson – Supposedly the Tigers are looking to grab him for ER’s cancellation. I have one rhetorical question for them — and you thought Renteria was bad?

Emmanuel Burriss/Kevin Frandsen/Eugenio Velez – Two are SAGNOFers (Velez and Burriss) and one is useless. With Renteria now in the Bay Area, these three schmohawks will battle for 2nd. (The thought of them battling made me think of a 3 on 1 wrestling match like Andre the Giant used to have, but in this case Andre’s played by Pablo Sandoval. And that made me giggle. Hehe.) If one of the SAGNOFers grabs the spot, I will be excited and pushing you to grab him for cheap speed.

During my 2nd 2009 fantasy baseball draft — mock! — I said something like, “I’m going to end up with Javier Vazquez on a bunch of teams in 2009.”  And that’s me paraphrasing me! Well, lookie-lookie. Someone in the Braves brass (prolly Cox) reads Razzball and liked the idea of having Vazquez on their team in 2009 because they just acquired him from the White Sox for three top prospects. (Or maybe three top prospects and a fourth not-so-top prospect. I’m not sure as I write this; the deal’s not finalized. I’ll cover the other guys in a future post, but right now this is the news and I’m Boogaloo Shrimp up in here breakin’ it.) So what’s so exciting about Javier Vazquez in 2009 for fantasy baseball?

Now stay with me here, because these numbers are about to become Fast & Furious: Tokyo Drift-style.  200 Ks in 208 1/3 IP in 2008.  In 2007, 213 Ks in 216 2/3 IP. In 2006, 184 Ks. 2005 — 192 Ks. As Moses said in the desert, are you following me here? Dooode strikes out people and throws a ton of innings. Now he moves to the NL (though a decent hitting NL division) and gets to pitch in a park that slightly favored hitters in 2008, but is a pretty neutral park overall, unlike Cellular Field that simply favors hitters. Me likey. Before the trade, Bill James projected a 3.80/1.24/195 in 214 innings for 2009. I think those were generous projections before the trade, but now I think they’re right in line with what you should expect. (Did Bill James get a hold of Biff Tannen’s sports book? Food for thought.) The only thing that kinda dulls the finish on this trade is, “The Mazzone Shine.”

For seventeen years Mazzone did such wonders with the Braves pitchers that people still overrate them, even though Mazzone hasn’t been there in years. This want to applaud the Bravos pitchers is “The Mazzone Shine.” (Tell me Jo-Jo Reyes or Jorge Campillo would have been as owned in 2008 if not for The Mazzone Shine. FYI, that’s a rhetorical “Tell me.” I’m not really asking you.) Unfortunately, The Mazzone Shine will now help people locate Javier Vazquez on their 2009 fantasy radars.  Prior to the trade, Vazquez was a sleeper with upside, as evidenced by my 15th and 17th round mock draft picks. Now The Shine may lift him from underrated to rated.

Brian Bannister sports a .86 ERA, a miniscule WHIP and three wins AND beat Francisco Liriano. Can this continue? His strikeout rate is pretty poor, but in one of the ten team mixed leagues I’m in, I picked up Bannister today. It’s a league of owners that are better friends than they are fantasy players. I don’t assume Bannister is still out there in many leagues, but for a few of those leagues where players aren’t quick to the waiver wire or with team owners who don’t pick up Royals because of what they have meant in the past, Bannister might be out there, I’d pick him up even in those shallow leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday:

Nick Markakis – I’ve been walking around my house screaming, “I am Markakis! No, I am Markakis!” for the last two weeks trying to spur him on to greatness. (My girlfriend has been thrilled.) Finally, he went yard. I hope this is the sparkakis he needs to go on a hot streak. He’s a notorious slow starter so if he can start hot this year, we could be in for a nice ride.

Francisco Liriano – Ah, the aforementioned Liriano. As I said on Friday, you should’ve traded him on Saturday.

Alex Gordon – I hope he reaches the 20/20 season I predicted because I have him in just about every league except for my NL-only ones (and don’t think I didn’t try and sneak him through).

Cliff Lee – I think he’s on Rudy’s list of players who should be Asian given their name. Anyway, pitched a great game against the woeful A’s. He has the Twins, Royals and Mariners up next. Two out of three on the woeful scale isn’t bad.

Jon Rauch – He’s great for K, Whip and ERA help so I wouldn’t drop him just because Cordero is back. (Because, frankly, I don’t know how long Cordero is going to be back.)

Joe Crede – Do I think Crede finishes the season with 184 homers and 377 RBIs? Maybe not, but he could hit three more homers this week then reverts to the Crede we know and hate. I’d pick him up until he reverts if you have room. You gotta ride hot streaks.

Wandy Rodriguez – I played the Wandy start at home/sit on the road game last year. It worked out well for me.

Burke Badenhop – I watched him play before I put in my claim. Saying he’s a poor man’s Derek Lowe, is an insult to poor men everywhere.

Shane Victorino – While I didn’t get him in any leagues this year, because he ended up going much higher than I would’ve paid for him, I still love The Flying Hawaiian™ and I hope he gets well soon. Meantime, put him on your DL. I hope Victorino doesn’t prove to be injury-prone his entire career because he’s beginning to seem that way.

Javier Vazquez – Man, the ‘08 Tigers and ‘27 Yankees comparisons ended real quick.

Franklin Gutierrez – No idea if he’ll ever get a chance to play again regularly after starting so slow, but if he does, I might go back for more pain. He’s talented and is only 25. As of right now, I’m done with anyone who regularly gets benched for Jason Michaels.

Johnny Cueto – Well, we all knew there would be some speed bumps, but Jason Bay? C’mon, your farkin’ initials are JC. Honestly, he walked one guy and had some balls up in the strike zone. I’ll take my chances if every pitcher on my staff gives up one walk against six strikeouts in six innings.