Bauer is back. You have 24 hours to pick him up before someone else does and the terrorists win. Cleveland Indians pitcher/rapper/counter-terrorist Trevor Bauer will be called up to start Tuesday versus the Tigers and likely take over Danny Salazar‘s spot in the rotation. The third overall pick in 2011, Bauer has filthy stuff, with numerous pitches at his disposal, including that sweet 95-97 mph fastball. He has struggled with control during his brief stints in the majors (7.1 BB/9 in nine major league starts), which has ultimately kept him from finding success in the big leagues. However, in a spot start in early April (6.0 IP, 4 H, 2 BB, 1 ER, 8 K), it seemed like Bauer’s command issues were a thing of the past.  Granted, that start was against the Padres, but he impressed nonetheless. Although he labored through his latest minors start (5.2 IP, 12 base runners, 6 ER, 4 home runs), the Indians obviously think Bauer is ready to show his stuff, and I don’t mean his free-styling ability. Yeah, he raps. Does that make you like him more or less? Not so sure? Maybe you should listen and judge for yourself. He’s still not as bad as P. Diddy. Whether you believe T-Bau’s a gifted lyricist or not, his 4-1 record, 2.15 ERA, 1.09 WHIP and a 44/14 K/BB ratio in 46.0 IP at Triple-A this season could certainly help out your fantasy pitching staff. If he can pitch twice as good as he can rhyme, Lil’ Trev could be headed from the “Gutter to the Grail” like his song. He raps,  “From gutter to grail, we rise up to win it/Wahoos on first with his eyes on the pennant.” So Trevor Bauer can spit hot fire, let’s see him throw some hot fire next week versus Detroit. Based on his upside, he’s worth the add in all leagues. To quote the the Notorious T.R.E.V., “Getting filthy with the pitch…getting stupid throwing cheddar,” pick up Bauer in your league, cause buying Bauer makes you better.

Here’s what else happened Friday night in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

It’s official, DraftKings has broken me. It started with Tyler Lyons getting destroyed at home by the Cubs on Monday and I never fully recovered. The doctors say I’ve been catatonic since then only to wake late Thursday night shouting ‘they bat .188 against opposing LHP you !#@$)(%#$@%@!’ Needless to say, I’m typing this from what my wife has lovingly coined ‘the fun house’ and what with all the white padded walling and little cups of multi-colored, pill-form heaven, I have to say I’m feeling much better now. Or is it I can’t feel anything? When the doc asked me to take a look at some pictures to tell him what I saw, he said he was amazed by the findings. In every single inkblot, I saw Daily Fantasy values. Here I saw the Stream-o-Nator pointing out that Tanner Roark was a top 10 stream play on the day. Here I saw the DFSBot tell me he was undervalued by $300 relative to what his expected outcome was, making him a great value play. And here…well that was clearly Yngve Malmsten covered in butter playing ukulele to a bunch of Travelocity Gnomes at the Grand Ole Opry. Sadly, the doctor now says I can’t leave but at least there’s wi-fi here. So without further ado, here’s some more Razzball picks for today’s DraftKings contests for 2014 Fantasy Baseball…

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I’m going to live tweet this post: Tweet: #pitchingissodeep, we can lose every third starter and still have enough pitchers to go around. Tweet: Pitching isso deep? What’s an isso? Tweet: Why do I care where you ate dinner? And why am I following you? Tweet: @SolangeKnowles I’d hold the elevator door for you. Tweet: Twitter bores me. I’m done with this. So, there you have it, our first live tweet post. I’m so hip; tweeting shizz like a baller! Why do I think ballers don’t use many semi-colons? Is there a less hip punctuation mark? Jose Fernandez has an elbow sprain, which is code for you’re fudged in the effhole if you own him. If you want, I’ll form a prayer rhombus with you, but I gotta be honest, since I don’t own him, my heart won’t be in the rhombus. I’ll be faking the rhombus. You’re better off with someone else. Until Andrew Heaney is ready (June), the Marlins are likely to fill their empty rotation spot with Brad Hand or Kevin Slowey. Too bad they can’t find room for both, then they can get The Pointer Sisters to sing, “I want a rotation with a Slowey, Hand.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Washington Nationals 2010Minor League Review
Overall farm ranking via Baseball America (2010)
2010 (21) | 2009 (21) | 2008 (9) | 2007 (30) | 2006 (24) | 2005 (26) | 2004 (30)

Record of Major and Minor League Teams
MLB: [69 – 93] NL East
AAA: [76 – 67] International League – Syracuse
AA: [77 – 65] Eastern League – Harrisburg
A+: [70 – 69] Carolina League – Potomac
A: [65 – 75] South Atlantic League – Haggerstown
A(ss): [36 – 38] New York Pennsylvania League – Vermont Lake
R: [24 – 32] Gulf League

The Run Down
In the 2009 Nationals Minor League Review, I said, “It wouldn’t be a stretch to see the team win 10 more games this year with a slightly improved rotation.” They did win exactly 10 more games this year, too bad that was still good enough for last place in the NL East.  Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?