Will computer programmers for billion-dollar corporations find a way for Shohei Otani to be eligible as both a pitcher and a hitter in fantasy? These are the tough questions Abner Doubleday surely pondered when he invented baseball in 1839 (Doubleday invented baseball like Al Gore invented the internet and global warming). It’s also the question that Ralph Lifshitz and I ponder to start the podcast, along with touching on Willie Calhoun and Tyler Glasnow’s recent call-ups. We then dive deep into our third base rankings, debating if Vladimir Guerrero Jr. is the #1 prospect in baseball, Colton Welker vs. Dermis Garcia, and how to value the proximity and safety of Jeimer Candelario and Brian Anderson. We cover everybody from Nick Senzel, Michael Chavis, and Miguel Andujar, to Nolan Jones, Sheldon Neuse, Yairo Munoz, Ryan Vilade, and many more. Finally, please make sure to support our sponsor by heading over to RotoWear.com and entering promo code “SAGNOF” for 15% off the highest quality t-shirts in the fantasy sports game. It’s the latest edition of the Razzball Fantasy Baseball Prospect Podcast:

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Yesterday, Matt Olson went 1-for-2, 2 RBIs with his 18th homer, hitting .273, all in only 49 games, and seven homers in his last ten games.  Dizzamn, who is he the American League’s Rhysus?  I’d call him Olsonus, but that sounds stupid.  We’re ridin’ the Ols-mobile?  That’s better (not)!  Like me after Taco Bell, he is Olplosive (much worse!).  I hear the train a comin’ rollin’ round the bend!  I ain’t seen the sunshine since I don’t know when!  Well I’m stuck with Matt Olson and time keeps dragging on!  While a train keeps a rollin’ like Olson to San Antone!  Well when I was just a baby my mama told me Olson, Olson, OLSON!  Always be a good boy don’t ever play with guns (flexes, showing gun show).  Well I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die, not OLSON!  When I hear that whistle blowin’ I hang my head and I cry because I don’t have OLSON!  Whew, that was exhausting.  So, obviously, if you need power, you should grab Olsonus, and ride the Ols-mobile.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

DFS could be systematic, hydromatic, ultramatic… why it could be Rhys Lightnin’ today! I’d probably draft Rhys Hoskins above a whole bunch of guys next season. Throw Jose Abreu, Miguel Cabrera, Eric Hosmer, Logan Morrison, Ryan Zimmerman and Wil Myers on that list. Greasy Rhysy gives me the warm fuzzies with all of this home run business, oh and speaking of business, comparing him to a shart is kinda doable. We thought we knew what we had when Hoskins was called up in August, but when we pushed a little further, the explosion occurred. It’s a party in everyone’s pants, and since Hoskins ($4,100) is the lede on this fine Wednesday, he’s most certainly one of my top OF picks today.

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There’s a common term sociologists use called, The Tide of Uze.  Everything that encompasses everyday life is on The Tide of Uze.  Brushing your teeth, walking your dog, Jose Abreu, they’re all on The Tide of Uze.  There’s small pleasures to be found with them, but they’re so consistent they are often lost amongst other more exciting things.  However, this past weekend The Tide of Uze was raised by Irma GAWD!, the fantasy football kickoff and me going to a Dodgers game with Dr. Kenneth Noisewater, a frequent commenter who was in town.  I didn’t rank those per their importance, I’ll leave that to you.  Big weekend for the world, right?  (Yes.) With the Tide of Uze raising, it lifts everything that was floating on its surface, which meant Jose Abreu had a career weekend.  On Saturday, he hit for the cycle, and, not to be outdone, he homered twice on Sunday (2-for-3, 3 RBIs, home run, 30 and 31).  His season numbers are now 85/31/90/.302/1.  All preseason I talked about how I wasn’t getting a 1st baseman in the first two rounds, so I was drafting Abreu everywhere, and I was nervous about it.  Let’s just say I’ve learned to appreciate The Tide of Uze.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Went over this a little this morning with my general September call-ups for fantasy baseball (clickbait!) writings/stylings/gibberish.  I’m not enthused by the guys headed to the majors this September.  Look at what happened this year with Yoan Moncada.  He had to be held down an extra month due to a September call-up.  Of course, if, say, Harrison Bader walks on water straight down Broad Street, grabs a Philly cheesesteak, burps in Rhysus’ face, hits a 885-mile turn to the Gateway Arch and wrecks havoc in St. Louis, then by all means I’m grabbing him.  With that said (finally!), Tyler Glasnow should be up any day now.  In Triple-A, he’s been pitching strictly from the stretch, and it’s made all the difference in his mechanics.  He’s compiled a 13.5 K/9 (!), 2.21 xFIP and he throws 95 MPH.  131 Ks to only 31 walks in 87 1/3 IP!  Sign me up pronto, Tonto.  Of course, in mixed leagues, I’m still viewing him mostly as a matchups guy for the final month, but I’d stash everywhere for (Glas)now.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Ralph and Halp are taking over the Razzball Fantasy Baseball Podcast, and we do our darndest to make up for the absence of Grey, starting the show by talking about Ralph’s vasectomy, my wisdom teeth, and the Mayweather vs. McGregor fight. We then dive deep into possible September call-ups, discussing Willie Calhoun, Ronald Acuna, Scott Kingery, Franklin Barreto, Tyler Glasnow, Harrison Bader, Stephen Gonsalves, Tyler O’Neill, JP Crawford, Willy Adames, Alex Verdugo, and Walker Buehler as the cream of the crop. We also talk about some underrated prospects who could make an impact, including Hunter Dozier, Jorge Soler, Daniel Palka, Teoscar Hernandez, Jeimer Candelario, Rusney Castillo, and many more. Finally, please make sure to support our sponsor by heading over to RotoWear.com and entering promo code “SAGNOF” for 15% off the highest quality t-shirts in the fantasy sports game (now shipping to Canada). It’s the latest edition of the Razzball Fantasy Baseball Podcast:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Three.  Let’s get that out of the way right now, said like Gordon Ramsay.  One Polanco to type, one Polanco to dictate the words and one Polanco to move the keyboard around so the typing Polanco doesn’t just keep hitting the same letter.  That’s three Polancos.  How many Polancos does it take to hit four home runs in four games?  That’s one Jorge Polanco.  Not Juan Polanco, he’s not a baseball player.  Juan Polanco is a cloud competitor in the Vape Olympics.  Any of you ever feel down on yourself remember this simply thing:  there’s people who compete in exhaling vape.  “Hey, guy, you’re not really competing in something, you’re, uh, exhaling.”  Jorge Polanco has actually had a decent season (for him), though it’s mostly contingent on his last week.  This Buy is wholly contingent on his last week.  He’s no longer Jorge Polanco, he’s Jorge Schmotato, and he will rescue your teams from their failings and take out your garbage.  Okay, maybe not the 2nd part, but, damn, I wish that were true.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Since surviving a vicious industry wide-Cub Fan driven smear campaign, Eloy Jimenez has been a man with a mission. Since joining Winston-Salem, the Chi-Sox high A affiliate, he’s slashed .352/.418/.690 with 5 homers and 18 RBI’s in his first 20 games. The 20 year old slugger has continued to make improvements at the plate in 2017, walking at a 10% clip, while maintaining K rates at or below 20%. The combination of contact, patience, and power is a rare one. This is why I rank Eloy amongst the very elite prospects in the game, with such contemporaries as Acuna, Robles, Guerrero, and Tucker. He’s likely to spend the remainder of 2017 in Winston-Salem, before being assigned to AA next season out of camp. He has a real shot at the number one prospect in all of baseball, once Ronald Acuna heads to the majors. Despite all of his recent success and oodles of upside, it will be years before we find out just how high of a price the Cubs paid for Quintana. That’s not to say that Jimenez is can’t miss, though he’s a close as they come. The Chicago White Sox system is full of future potential stars, but none shine brighter at the moment than Eloy. A future .280/35/100 player is the ceiling, with a power hitting DH floor. It wouldn’t shock me if we saw Jimenez some time in late 2018, with the mostly likely time frame being September. Here’s what else I saw in the MiLB…

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You know what Tuesday’s are good for… SAGNOF.  And remembering to put your recycling out.  Funny enough, I am correlating the two this week.  Co-mingling, if you may.  This week, I wanna bring something old, something not so new, and he wears blue… pajamas.  (Because p-jays make the man.)  Let’s look at some old SAGNOF gold and the familiar name that is Eric Young Jr..  Hell, this is SAGNOF, it ain’t a beauty contest… it’s not even that B.S. 15-buck prize from Monopoly when you land on the community chest.  Why I like E.Y. Jr. is multi-faceted; First, he is on a team where he doesn’t have to throw base-running as a caution to the wind.  The Angels are second behind only the Reds’ legs in steals, and with an 80% success rate, they prolly won’t be choosing another tact to manufacture runs while Trout is mending his fin.  He isn’t sexy, and he has a track record of being a good for a few games then falling off a plateau, but since receiving regular at-bats, it is in the same breath as Trout going down.  He has an OBP of over .410, and if you think it’s kind of a fluke, check his minor league stats prior to call-up.  His OPS was at .950 in 44 games at Triple A with 15 steals.  The days of stealing 50-plus bases ala 2013 are long gone, but if you need to find a place for a steal here or there, check the Angels ownership and steals totals.  Maybin, Simmons et al.  So with that, let’ see what else is shaking in the 90-feet of thievery department.  Chart added for flavor.  Cheers!

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For this Buy on Adam Frazier, we are hoping C**nt Hurdle doesn’t mysteriously bench Frazier for, say, Jose Osuna, Alen Hanson or John Jaso.  You’re thinking to yourself, “No way Hurds benches a guy that’s batting near-.360.  No way Hurds does this to a guy that regularly hit for a .300+ average in the minors.  No way Hurds does this with a guy that had a .400+ OBP in the minors and with an OBP near-.450 in the majors.”  Yeah, well, Hurds and way, Little Miss Muffet.  I have no proof of this, but I think C**nt Hurdle came up with the idea for gas station TV.  Not that there’s anything dumb about TV above the pumps while you get gas, but it’s so stupid that every 15 seconds it says, “Welcome to Gas Station TV!”  Imagine this anywhere else, “Hello, and welcome to living room TV!”  “Welcome back to guest bedroom TV, after just telling you that you were watching guest bedroom TV literally 15 seconds ago!”  “We now interrupt the conclusion for this week’s Better Call Saul finale to tell you exactly where you are.”  That Hurdle came up with announcing Gas Station TV every 15 seconds tells you how smart this guy is.  Frazier does appear to be as good as most leadoff guys around the league for OBP and speed.  Think a poor man’s Ender.  I will call him, Watching The Ending Of A Show On Gas Station TV.  Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?