Did you see the game Brett Anderson threw the other day? Neither did I. Was watching MasterChef. C’mon, is she really blind? I could see a service dog, pulling to the side of the road and being like, “Listen, sweetheart, how about we stop the charade and let me go hump some other dogs?” There’s no way she’s blind!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Bay Area sports teams may want to throw out the mother dough. It’s tainted. Bartolo Colon was suspended for 50 days after being caught with elevated levels of testosterone. This much testosterone hasn’t been found in one man since they pumped Rod Stewart’s stomach in the late-70′s.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Felix Hernandez joined Philip Humber and Matt Cain in the Perfect Game club this year, shutting down the Rays in Seattle yesterday. If only it was against the Yankees and Ichiro (hitting 9th) was the last hitter and Ichiro bunted. Oh, the Internet drama!Please, blog, may I have some more?
How did baseball survive over two months without a Boston/New York match-up? It’s barely a rivalry these days as the Yankees took an 8 1/2 game lead over the Red Sox with the big win last night. It was your typical NY/BOS game, i.e., nearly 4 hours long, 18 runs scored, 28 hits, and plenty of dirty looks and “bad calls.” One thing we can always count on in these match-ups is plenty of fantasy implications; in fact, I was debating even covering the other games.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Picture above ground, there’s different levels of air. In the first level of air, there’s number one outfielders. Ryan Braun, he’s a number one. He’s like a Macy’s Day Parade balloon, big and just off the ground. Then in the next level of air, there’s number two outfielders.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Phils decided they wanted to get younger for Friday’s game so they’re bringing up this guy from the minors. They say he’s got good power, but he’s been playing first base on a foot stool. At least they could’ve got Ryan Howard one of those giant Rawlings glove bean bags.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Pirates announced the time is nigh for Starling Marte. The Pirates equipment manager, Buffalo Bill, has to start making a uniform made from Jose Tabata’s skin. Put the lotion in the basket, Tabata! Tabata, “I wanna go home!” You won’t go home, ever.Please, blog, may I have some more?
As David Brent’s friend would say, “Only one for the Bum, no harm done.” Madison Bumgarner got SF another SHO as he threw a game that made it easy to get behind the Bum and not just for those in The Castro — 9 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit, 2 walks and 8 Ks.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We went over Danny Hultzen in our last fantasy baseball podcast, but that was a bunch of jibber-jabbering, you want the facts! Well, actually, there were some facts in there. Rudy, for instance, stated he thought Hultzen would be up by June 26th. Okay, that’s more of an opinion. Okay, facts. 1) When Hultzen was drafted last year, he was one of the top pitchers in the country and seemed most “major league ready.” 2) “Major league ready” is scout-speak for safe. 3) Fat Jonah Hill fired all the scouts. 4) He throws over 100 MPH. 5) I bet you didn’t know Fat Jonah Hill threw that fast. 6) Hultzen, on the other hand, throws his fastball 91-95 MPH. 7) His ceiling is slightly lower than the top arms in the minors. G) He walked a bunch of batters when he first arrived at a high level of competition, this might translate to the majors.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Clay Buchholz went down to Miami and, like most visiting Northeasterns, retired….Marlin batters that is! While his 7-2 record is due to Nova-esque luck and run support vs. year to date performance (5.00+ ERA), this is his 4th straight start of 7+ IP, 2 ER or less, and 6+ K. Maybe there’s some truth to that whole “rediscovered his changeup thing” (and can he share it with Lester?). He’s a must pick up in all leagues for as long as he’s on this roll. Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brian Roberts – The concusstador is back in style going 3-for-4 hitting leadoff. Robert Andino can now wait in his shadow and mutter to himself that if his parents named him Jerry, he’d be such a comedy hit that they’d have to start him. During Roberts’s rehab in Triple-A, he hit around .245 with one homer in 45 ABs and no steals. If he can stay healthy, I expect about the same from him in the majors. For the rest of the season, put his stats at nothing/nada/not so good/bleh/more of the same. If he can get his bleh over .280, his nothing could be better than nothing, but for that he has to stay healthy, which is as likely as me removing my personal mustache groomer from my rider.Please, blog, may I have some more?