Phils decided they wanted to get younger for Friday’s game so they’re bringing up this guy from the minors. They say he’s got good power, but he’s been playing first base on a foot stool. At least they could’ve got Ryan Howard one of those giant Rawlings glove bean bags.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Pirates announced the time is nigh for Starling Marte. The Pirates equipment manager, Buffalo Bill, has to start making a uniform made from Jose Tabata’s skin. Put the lotion in the basket, Tabata! Tabata, “I wanna go home!” You won’t go home, ever.Please, blog, may I have some more?
As David Brent’s friend would say, “Only one for the Bum, no harm done.” Madison Bumgarner got SF another SHO as he threw a game that made it easy to get behind the Bum and not just for those in The Castro — 9 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit, 2 walks and 8 Ks.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We went over Danny Hultzen in our last fantasy baseball podcast, but that was a bunch of jibber-jabbering, you want the facts! Well, actually, there were some facts in there. Rudy, for instance, stated he thought Hultzen would be up by June 26th. Okay, that’s more of an opinion. Okay, facts. 1) When Hultzen was drafted last year, he was one of the top pitchers in the country and seemed most “major league ready.” 2) “Major league ready” is scout-speak for safe. 3) Fat Jonah Hill fired all the scouts. 4) He throws over 100 MPH. 5) I bet you didn’t know Fat Jonah Hill threw that fast. 6) Hultzen, on the other hand, throws his fastball 91-95 MPH. 7) His ceiling is slightly lower than the top arms in the minors. G) He walked a bunch of batters when he first arrived at a high level of competition, this might translate to the majors.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Clay Buchholz went down to Miami and, like most visiting Northeasterns, retired….Marlin batters that is! While his 7-2 record is due to Nova-esque luck and run support vs. year to date performance (5.00+ ERA), this is his 4th straight start of 7+ IP, 2 ER or less, and 6+ K. Maybe there’s some truth to that whole “rediscovered his changeup thing” (and can he share it with Lester?). He’s a must pick up in all leagues for as long as he’s on this roll. Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brian Roberts – The concusstador is back in style going 3-for-4 hitting leadoff. Robert Andino can now wait in his shadow and mutter to himself that if his parents named him Jerry, he’d be such a comedy hit that they’d have to start him. During Roberts’s rehab in Triple-A, he hit around .245 with one homer in 45 ABs and no steals. If he can stay healthy, I expect about the same from him in the majors. For the rest of the season, put his stats at nothing/nada/not so good/bleh/more of the same. If he can get his bleh over .280, his nothing could be better than nothing, but for that he has to stay healthy, which is as likely as me removing my personal mustache groomer from my rider.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kendrys returns (or is the verb singular there?) this year, but can’t play every day, and when he does, he needs to DH. So, since Mark Trumbo fields about as well as Dalton Trumbo fielded commie accusations, it seemed like Trumbo (Mark) would be benched a lot. In years past, Scioscia would’ve went with some variation of a light-hitting middle infielder with a good glove — “You can’t teach moxie! Moxie’s innate! Chone Figgins had so much moxie. He could’ve played 3rd base, 2nd base and waitressed at a diner from midnight to 8 AM.” That’s a direct quote from Scioscia’s autobiography, “Crouching Angel, Hidden Drag Bunt.” But maybe Scioscia learned himself something because Trumbo is playing every day, and hitting well. Yesterday, he went 2-for-3, 2 runs, 6 RBIs and his 13th and 14th homers. Right now, Trumbo’s hitting .326. That’s probably through his ceiling for average, through the ceiling above it and out the roof. He could hit 50 to 60 points below that. There’s still plenty of value here. He’s on his way to 30-plus homers, solid counting stats and 10-plus steals. Basically, what you hope you get from Pujols at this point. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Scott Downs – And just when you think The Sciosciapath has his harsh mellowed over the closer sitch, he goes and flips the script. Colvin and CarGo, two lefties, were due up in the ninth, so I’m guessing he went with Downs there for that reason. I’d continue to hold Frieri, but obviously Downs isn’t out of the picture completely. He’s kinda photobombing the closer picture, actually.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Andrew Bailey will need thumb surgery, according to one doctor. He’s scheduled to get a second opinion today. That second doctor’s gonna say, “The first doctor and I play golf and he only sent you to me to run up your doctor bills. Of course you need surgery.” My opinion is Bailey is always hurt and he’s gonna miss a few months. When Bailey was first traded to the Sawx in the offseason, I even opined, “When Melancon went to the Sawx, I said, “The GM over in Beantown says Melancon is “capable of closing.” In big market speak, that means he won’t be the closer. Melancon is the stereotypical small market closer, big market set-up man.” Prescient ain’t just a word you need a spell checker for. It’s a state of mind! Bailey will be absolutely fine as a closer when he’s healthy, which is to say maybe 4 of 6 months of the season if the Sawx are lucky.” And that’s me quoting me! I don’t just bring this up for the Bailey news, but I wanted to say again how the Sawx GM originally pegged Melancon as having closer potential. Originally, I said he wasn’t a big market closer, but guess what y’all? He’s a heck more of a big market closer than Aceves. He has closer experience and that you can’t buy (legally outside of Canada). The Sawx are saying Aceves could get saves. I’m not sure how much I believe it. If Melancon was out there in my leagues, I grabbed him too (as in, in addition to Aceves). If Aceves does get the first couple of saves, he’ll need to be perfect to keep the job, i.e., vis-a-vis, ergo, Melancon could end up getting 25 saves even if he doesn’t get the first couple. This shituation is fluid so put on some plastic bed sheets. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Frank Francisco – Went for an MRI on his knee yesterday. Ah, the Mets and their injuries. The Mets doctors originally thought Francisco was dealing with patella tendinitis — is that the pre-med Indian kid who lived in my freshman dorm? Frank2 had an ERA north of 5.50 in the spring and the publicity was, “Where’s his velocity?” He thought he’d locate his electricity with tenacity, but kept ending up back at paucity, which left people grabbing Rauch in felicity, prior to her cutting her hair — the audacity!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Drew Storen had arm discomfort… About two weeks ago. He hasn’t pitched in a game since March 7th and had soreness in his biceps playing catch yesterday. Playing catch? What, the Nats doing a video for Cat’s in the Cradle? He should be pitching, not playing catch. So that’s one red flag. The bigger red flag with a skull and crossbones is obviously soreness from playing catch. That’s awesome for a young reliever who was used a lot last year (75 1/3 IP). Two days ago, Davey Johnson said Storen wasn’t throwing because he had strep throat. So does he have strep arm now? Johnson said he’s not worried about Storen. Davey lies… Davey lies when he cries and implies Storen is still his prize… In all but the shallowest leagues, I’d grab Tyler Clippard, who sounds like a captain in the America’s Cup. For those in deeper leagues or feeling light on saves, I’d grab Lidge. I think Storen will ultimately be fine, but better safe than sorry as they say in the Clichè Hall of Fame, which is located on Main Street in Capital City. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in spring training for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Joe Blanton – Report out of Philly is they aren’t motivated to trade Blanton. Sounds like when your garbage piles up and you can’t motivate to throw it out. Maybe we’ll see the Phillies on the new season of Hoarders.Please, blog, may I have some more?
As reported ad nauseum yesterday, Albert Pujols signed with the Los Angeles Suburb of Los Angeles Angels yesterday. Or the Albertaheim Pujalos, as they should now be called. Something that wasn’t reported, with Pujols going from a Cardinal to an Angel, Dan Brown now has a new book idea. After every home run, Pujols seemed to be pointing at God, but he was obviously pointing at the Angels. And since it is the Christmas season, let us not forget: When a Pujols gets a contract, an Angel gets his rings. Someone reported how Pujols stands to make $68,493 per day. I have an idea: Occupy Pujols! They’ll like that one in West Hollywood. Okay, enough of the jibber-jabbering.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ed Wade’s Toupee has made it clear that he’s trying to move Hunter Pence in a trade. Why would the Astros want to hold onto their best player? He just gives his fans false hope. False hope is worst than no hope. See every movie John Singleton’s done since Boyz n the Hood for examples of what hope can do to you. Awesome, the guy who did Boyz n the Hood is gonna remake Shaft. No, not awesome. Terrible. Thanks a lot, false hope! Speculation has Pence going to Atlanta, Philly or the Red Sox. Speculation has me excited to own Pence. Shoot, speculation sounds like salvation for Pence. If Pence were a car, I’d put on him a bumper sticker, “Anywhere but Houston.” His RBIs haven’t suffered as much as you might think considering where he is, but it can only get better. And his runs, his lineup protection, potentially his ballpark. I like it. It’s a win-win-maybe win scenario. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Kosuke Fukudome – The Indians acquired the Japanese OF to help fill the void left by Korean OF Shin-Soo Choo. Hopefully Fukudome doesn’t get hurt or else they may bring in a Taiwanese Little Leaguer.Please, blog, may I have some more?