Recently, I had the pleasure of doing karaoke with Johnny Cueto. He decided to go with Landslide by Fleetwood Mac. Here’s what he sang, “I took my ERA and I took it down…. I climbed a mountain and I turned around… And I saw my xFIP in the snow covered hills… Well, I’ve been afraid of changing… ‘Cause I’ve kicked the life out of Jason LaRue… Awh, take this ERA, and TAKE IT DOWN!…” Then I joined him on stage for Islands in the Stream. Cueto was pitch perfect with Stevie Nicks even if he did skip lines here and there to keep it related to fantasy baseball. Right now, his ERA is 1.63. Oh, c’mon. Seriously, come on. Come on, come on, come on Chameleon! His xFIP is 3.52. His K-rate is 6.23 which isn’t good and below previous season marks. He’s leaving 83% men on and has a .216 BABIP. There’s not one category he’s excelling in right now except ERA. The mouth on the left side says, “S.” The mouth on the right side says, “ell.” Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Jonathan Broxton – ‘So much junk, so much junk inside that trunk’ could be lyrics about the Dodgers bullpen or specifically about Broxton. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sounds like Ike Davis is done for the year. He could be facing microfracture ankle surgery. Man, will the Mets ever catch a big break? First, Beltran had microfracture surgery on his knee, and now Davis. What’s with the Mets and tiny surgery? Can’t the Mets find a normal-sized doctor? Microsurgery is the 101 class if you’re going to be a surgeon. Macrosurgery is the 102 class. That’s a little known fact — literally! For fantasy purposes, just think, now you have more room on your DL. You’re welcome. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brandon Beachy – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 11 Ks. That’s one for the Brandon Beachy Memoirs. Now if only he’d stop looking up his cousin’s dress. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Wilson Betemit collided with Albert Pujols and… Why is Wilson Betemit playing?! He never plays. Doesn’t your Quad-A Beer Pong Tournament partner, Shelley Duncan, need you for a tourney? Manzo! (Which is my new favorite exclamation that means nothing.) Another tough break (strain?) for a high draft pick. You high draft picks remind me of my shoe closet — I got one penny and a bunch of loafers! (Thanks, Lil Penny.) Pujols supposedly only has a sprained wrist, but will be reevaluated on Monday. If it’s any more serious than a strain, I suggest Betemit enter the Witness Protection Program. Your deity of choice willing Pujols will be back on the field in a day or two. Luckily, Pujols has severed elbow tendons in the past and only missed one game. Manzo! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Lance Berkman – Didn’t start on Sunday because his back and leg were “barking.” Sounds like someone has figured out how to appeal to La Russa’s PETA leniencies. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Matt Joyce a sell? Now I will bite my lip and try not to sob. Quiet, gentle sobs that Joyce used to assuage. Joyce and I had something together that no one else can understand. Well, maybe some of you that also own him can understand it, but the rest of you never will. We shared moments that can only be explained by watching an Ecuadorian couple that has been married for 60 years sharing a mango on a park bench. That’s what we had! Picture, if you will, a giant mustache wrapped like a shawl around Matt Joyce’s shoulders. We were that inseparable for about six weeks. I own Joyce all over the place and he’s about the only hitter I have playing over his head. Alas, playing over his head is the problem with Joyce, to DeWitt. His BABIP is absurd; he’s a .270 hitter currently hitting .360. He’s sandwiched between Votto and Miguel Cabrera on ESPN’s Player Rater. That’s crazy. I know I told everyone to grab him back in April, but he’s not this good. Humble brag! He’s never had more than 5 hits vs. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Catchers, 1st basemen, 2nd basemen and top 20 shortstops for 2010 have been accounted for. Up now, the top 20 3rd basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball. Lots of surprises in the top 20 for 3rd basemen. In the top 3, two guys that weren’t drafted in the first 10 rounds with the 1st guy not being drafted in the first 20 rounds. Heroes of 2009, Mini-Donkey and Kung Fu Panda, which sounds like an anime cartoon that has a 75% chance of giving you a seizure, did give you the fits. Then when you get to around the halfway mark, the drop off is precipitous. Also, to recap, this final ranking is from ESPN Player Rater with my comments. The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason. Anyway, here’s the top 20 3rd basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
1. Please, blog, may I have some more?
We already went over the top 20 catchers for 2010 and the top 20 1st basemen for 2010. Today, it’s all about the top 20 2nd basemen. The 2nd basemen pool is shallow (not as kiddie-sized as the shortstops, though it’s nearly as deep as 3rd basemen, but we’ll get to those). To recap, this final ranking is from ESPN Player Rater with my comments. The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason. Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
1. Please, blog, may I have some more?
‘Uh-oh’ doesn’t really do the sight of Stephen Strasburg throwing a pitch and shaking his elbow in pain. Word is now he might go see Dr. Freeze. Usually a visit to Dr. Freeze means the pitcher will be out for at least a year. I think a visit to Dr. Please, blog, may I have some more?
When Jim Edmonds was a trending topic on Twitter, I figured he died. Turns out he was just taking the Casino Bus to Cincy, though that might be a riverboat. Edmonds will continue to be a part-timer, gaining no value. Maybe one day he’ll garner 25% of a HOF vote and the interwebs will go abuzz with the travesty of it all. But Jim Rice is in! This is worst than season two of Lost! Chris Dickerson goes to the Brewers, but you knew that. You have the internet or you wouldn’t be reading this. Dickerson is currently on the DL. I like him. In a career 401 ABs, Chris Dickerson has 8 homers and 19 steals with a .277 average and a .369 OBP. In Triple-A this year, he had 3 homers and 6 steals in 43 ABs. I say the Brewers should play him, but I don’t make those decisions. Who is playing? Lorenzo Cain. In 331 ABs in Triple-A, Cain had 26 steals and a .402 OBP with a .317 average. Yes, and thank you. Carlos Gomez is due back at some point too, but he’s not good at, you know, baseball. My guess is Cain and Dickerson, when healthy, will see some sort of platoon. I’d grab Cain right now for speed, then wait to see how this dumbo pot gets stirred. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Drew Stubbs – If you thought his playing time would be squeezed by just sucking on the suckhole, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Edmonds will definitely take time from Stubbs. Heisey’s a better batter too (say that fast 45 times). BTW, Stubbs and Carlos Gomez should be on the same team. Unfortunately, it’s a track team, not a baseball one. Please, blog, may I have some more?
This year in the minors Domonic Brown had a line of 62/19/64/.323/14 and .385/.580/.965. Let’s recap, whoa/wow/nice/yum-yum/don’t mind if I do and yowsers/that’s lovely/yowsersthat’slovely. To break that down for the people who skimmed the first two sentences, he has 20/20 potential with plate discipline. It’s the fantasy baseball equivalent to: “I don’t think this glazed donut can get any better.” “How about we sprinkle bacon on it?” Drool. By my estimation (and Keith Law’s), he’s the number one prospect in the minors. (Desmond Jennings is a close 2nd in my book that was rejected by Simon & Schuster.) Either Werth will be shown the door or Philly fans will kidnap Raul Ibanez and toss him blindfolded into the newly-constructed Octagon in Citizens Flank’s parking lot. Is Domonic Brown more trouble than he’s Werth? No, I don’t think so. Unless we’re talking about spelling his name. I’d grab Brown in 12 team mixed leagues or deeper. In keepers, you should own him already. If you don’t, then now might be a good time. Or now. Or now. Or… You get the point. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we head into the post, just wanted to say the Commenter and Razzball league standings were updated. Anyway II, onto the Buy/Sell:
Alex Gordon – Is this the Alex Gordon that was called up three years ago after tearing up the minors only to flame out? Or is this the Alex Gordon that is called up today that just got done ripping up the minors that will finally fulfill his promise? I don’t know. He crushed the minors this year — in 277 ABs, 14 homers, 8 steals, .310 average, .451 OBP and a 1.018 OPS. He can be a 20+ homer, 15 steal guy over the course of a full season if he doesn’t get in his own way and the Royals give him every day ABs. I would take a flyer on him for your corner infidel spot for the chance he finally makes good on the promise. If you’ve heard this story before about Gordon, it’s because you probably have, so don’t drop anyone too valuable. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Pedro Alvarez went 3-for-5 with 2 homers. Had his 2nd two homer game in two days. Say that fast 117 times! LMFAO should be playing when Alvarez goes into the batter’s box, “Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot!” (I wish I wrote that song.) Alvarez is 23 years old. For those who can’t read between the lines, he’s going to get better!!! (Second and third exclamation marks were for emphasis, not because my keyboard’s keys are sticking.) Who knew the only thing the Pirates offense needed was to lose their best hitter? Maybe the Mariners should lock Ichiro in a closet for a few games. This is Ichiro going into the closet, “Hey, Beltran, what are you doing here?” I keed. So what can we expect of Alvarez the rest of the season. Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Shot! Or 12 homers and a terrible average. He’s still K’ing too much. I’d absolutely pick him up in every league just for the chance he keeps hitting bombs. I would not drop anyone that I might regret. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ty Wigginton – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer in two days. Casey McGehee’s Dad is historically a streaky hitter and a 2nd half hitter. Also, the Phillies, Rangers and Yankees are talking about acquiring Wiggy. Not all of those teams would be a boost to his value, but if I had to take a guess, I’d say Wigginton will be in Friday’s Buy/Sell. Please, blog, may I have some more?