Chad Billingsley was a fave on mine coming into the year, and he pitched great for maybe a third of a season, passable for a third and pretty forgettable for the other third. It’s with great regret I tell you to sell him for fifty cents on the dollar in one year leagues. He wasn’t pitching all that well for a while now and now he’s dealing with a hamstring injury. (This injury may actually save his arm from falling off.) In one year leagues, you need guys that are going to help you right now. It’s August, ya’ll — thanks, Mr.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Alcides Escobar, SAGNOF! Do you need more? Um, he’s good at defense. Alcides Escobar stole 42 bases in 109 games in Triple-A this year. I dropped Trent Aussie Dog for Escobar in a league, because I need steals more than a flier on power. Have I mentioned Alcides Escobar steals bases? Lots. Of. Bases. You know who gets hurt here? J.J.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Aussie, Trent Oeltjen, went 4-for-4 yesterday, after hitting three homers in four games. Wait, I know this one! Sounds like Parrot Bones? If you don’t own the guy when he’s hot, when do you own him? Will he keep this up? Can I shrug? Will I own him on many teams waiting to see how long it lasts? Why not? Can I own him and Venable and Garrett Jones all on the same team, or will the rookie nookie circle of life implode on itself? Who’s to say? Can I talk in nothing, but short questions? Maybe? (Let’s hope Oeltjen didn’t share a bed with this koala. Sorry, Michael Vick, she makes STDs look cute!) Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Kevin Youkilis – The Greek God of Fisticuffs, apparently.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Our fearless leader has been crippled by some Kryptonic supermarket macaroni salad so I will be your tour guide through the daily baseball comings and goings.
So J.P. Ricciardi waved goodbye to Alex Rios and freed up some money so he can buy some tickets to Moneyball The Movie and to get one of them new-fangled Adam Dunn verification machines for his phone. Rios hasn’t been great outside of Toronto this year, but The Cell isn’t exactly Petco Central. He actually has picked it up a bit going 6-14 with 2 home runs in his last 4 games.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tim Hudson is on track to make a rehab start. If all goes well, and that if is ginormous, then he can return to the Braves for their failed chase for the Wild Card. Recovering from Tommy John is usually the same no matter what, shorty. Pitchers usually return to three-quarters of their former selves or they can become seven-fifths of their former selves, which is to say they can be better. Though they’re not usually better when they are first reactivated. They usually return slightly less than three-quarters. If you’re half as confused by those fractions as I am writing them, let me break it down to you, nice and simple like Minnie Pearl. Tim Hudson’s worth stashing on your DL for matchups, but the upside is merely usable in 12 team leagues. Don’t expect miracles. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Scott Baker – 4 1/3 IP, 6 ER. He shows you some solid starts, then he shits your house.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Justin Upton heads to the DL with an oblique injury. For those reading, who just got out of a time machine from the 80s, no one has any idea what an oblique is. And stop wearing Cavariccis. Upton will probably be out more than the required 15 days, because these oblique injuries that no one has ever heard of are tricky. With the Baby Backs out of every race outside of The Greatest 3rd Baseman To Ever Grace the Human Race Race, they’re not going to rush Upton. Does this hurt you to hear? It’s not my intention. But just don’t expect anything until September from Upton. On the bright side, now you have room for Will Venable. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Mark Reynolds – HR yesterday then he was removed with a sore thumb. It doesn’t seem to be anything to worry about. Mini-donkeys get sore thumbs apparently.Please, blog, may I have some more?