Oh, the Memorial Day weekend is here, subtle rejoice. It is officially the start to the season of way too tight Affliction t-shirts that are monikered in glitter and shirts that are sold in the three-pack variety. What could be better than that, I’ll tell you what. A horse drawn fruit cart. Like back in the old days. I mean, who doesn’t like daily fresh produce conveniently delivered, or, in this case, walked past your door. I mean, just thinking of that makes me want to get some mush melon and maybe some prosciutto, sit outside and play click clack in my aforementioned assemblage of t-shirts. So everyone is probably out at a bbq and not even reading this as its a big going out weekend, but if you are here thanks for being dedicated and taking 10 minutes to read this. Have a great holiday weekend and if you’re going to drink, be responsible and at least bring me one while your up. (Please keep in mind that pitchers and match-ups change.)
One Start Options:
5/30
Bruce Chen @ Cle – Gomez
Anthony Bass @ CHC – Dempster
6/1
Wei-Yin Chen @ TB – Price
Mike Leake @ Hou – Happ
Derek Lowe vs Min – Pavano
Felipe Paulino vs Oak – Colon
Clayton Richard vs Ari – Miley
Two Start Options:
Zach McCallister (KC vs Adcock, Min vs Diamond) In some weird parallel universe that is saved by the bell, Zach pitches against his geeky friend Screech. No word on if Jessie is going to be “so excited” or if Mr. Belding will throw out the first pitch.
Bronson Arroyo (@Pit vs McDonald, @Hou vs Harrell) Ugh really has it been three weeks already. Ok I will find something useful for you to ponder if you want to pick him up….took me awhile so enjoy this gem. He has given up zero runs on the road during a day game, and you don’t have to check - both games are during the day.
Drew Hutchinson (Bal vs Arrieta, Bos vs Bard) Those dreaded starts against the AL East, I shake my fist at thee. I am going to hunt down Mrs. AL East and torment here for not being more green on the fantasy environment.
Travis Wood (SD vs Suppan, @SF vs Zito) I’m actually curious to see if Wood can carve out some NL-only or deeper league value by the end of next week. It’s possible; I mean it’s also possible I turn into a sea horse and am forced to give birth to other sea horses.
Juan Nicasio (Hou vs Rodriguez, LAD vs Harang) His name loosely translated means WHIP-tard. So by burying your periphs he can say its just part of family tradition and he can’t be held accountable.
Felix Doubront (Det vs Fister, @Tor ve Drabek) Is in the top 7 in K/9, unfortunately he hands out free passes like a guy on the Vegas strip handing out business cards to Spearmint Rhino.
Scott Diamond (Oak vs TBD, @Cle vs McCallister) I would be nervous against the TBD starter that Oakland has to throw out there. Could be anyone really – Rollie Fingers, that guy Henter from Bases Loaded, or that barista guy from your local coffee house. This week’s number one option has to be this guy, right?
Jake Arrieta (Tor vs Hutchinson, @TB vs Moore) Way too hittable and gives up too many big flies for my liking. The frog from frog bog doesn’t agree. So even imaginary amphibians are fantasy baseball critics. Just proving the point that they will let anyone evaluate stats.
Kevin Millwood (@Tex vs Harrison, @CHW vs Sale) One. Count ‘em one earned run in the last 3 starts spanning 22 innings. He is owned in less then 5% of leagues. To me that makes complete sense, because Clay Buchholz is owned in over 40%…. wait huh? Has been a streamer delight so far, now you can get him for a 2 for 1 special. I’d rather use my coupons elsewhere, but you do what you do.
Aaron Harang (Mil vs Marcum, @Col vs Nicasio) Always has a mug on his face like he is currently doing the cinnamon challenge. Just an FYI – do not try the cinnamon challenge; it usually ends up like dollar beer happy hour.
Brandon Phillips isn’t the shiniest tool in the toolbox, but he hit two homers off Beachy yesterday. He’s gone from a 30/30 2nd baseman to a 20/20 2nd baseman to now an 18/15 2nd baseman, but that doesn’t mean you’re completely screwed if you overpaid for him on draft day. As long as Dusty hits him between Votto and Bruce, good ol’ Brandon should deliver above average R/RBI at a solid average. He might not be as sexy as an Altuve or a Jemile, but he’ll probably be a better value the rest of the way. BTW, even if you didn’t own him last night, the best thing about BP wrecking another Beachy was we didn’t have to sit through a celebrity telethon and Sean Penn’s sourpuss. Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the roundup, here’s the latest podcast. We talk about the Nats bullpen, Brandon Beachy and I read a poem I wrote for Gio Gonzalez. If that’s not enough for you, Rudy references Lil Jon and drops an F-bomb, which isn’t as deadly as an A-Bomb, but nearly as effective. Anyway II, here’s the roundup and podcast:
Zack Cozart – He homered again yesterday for his second in two days because he wants to make it up to me for his early season struggles. At least that’s what my ventriloquist dummy wearing a Cozart jersey told me.
Mat Latos – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks. I want everyone to promise me one thing. If you don’t want to own Latos right now because of his ERA roller coaster ride, write it down somewhere that you won’t read until next March. So when you see his 3.50 ERA from 2012, you don’t draft him and then want to drop him for the first 6 weeks of next season too.
R.A. Dickey – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks. When asked in the clubhouse where’d these strikeouts come from, Dickey said he pictured all the batters were his childhood bullies who used to pick on him. Must’ve been hard for a guy named Dickey who was a knuckleballer.
Frank Francisco – Pitched a perfect inning for his 11th save. Only during the Closepocalypse could a guy with 11 saves and a 7.13 ERA appear good.
James McDonald – Had another great start (7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks). E I E I Own!
Kevin Youkilis – The Greek God of Limps has returned, and homered. Opa!
Adrian Gonzalez – Comatose Red Sox Fan, “A-Gon is in the outfield? So Ortiz is playing first and it’s interleague play?” Nope. “Our pitching is doing well, but we’re trying to squeeze in more offense?” Nuh-uh. “Please, tell me we’re at least in first for the Wild Card.” You might want to sit down for this. The A-Gonz outfield experiment is lasting beyond interleague as the Sawx are stuck with Middlebrooks and Youuuuuuuk at the corners. Maybe while in the outfield, A-Gonz can reacquaint himself with the area behind the fences. Not sure if he’ll play there enough to gain OF-eligibility outside 5 game leagues, but it can’t hurt his value. Hopefully he can avoid the injury curse that is befalling all the Sawx OFs (Crawford, Ellsbury, McDonald, Ross, Kalish….)
Scott Podsednik – I’m gonna go out on a limb and say if you played any post-collegiate outfield, you could receive a call from the Red Sox. This includes Matt Stairs’ Steak and Keggers Softball League.
Gavin Floyd – 3 2/3 IP, 9 ER pitching at home against the Twins. Yowza! Floyd is generally a safe 5th/6th SP in shallow leagues, but you just ask that he does this against a good opponent so you have a proper heads-up. Party foul, Gavin.
Gordon Beckham – 3rd HR in 4 games (and Vernon Wells robbed him of a HR the game before that). Not bad for the most British-sounding 2B since William Randolph.
Travis Wood – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 3 Ks, as he was recalled by the Cubs to take Volstad’s spot in the rotation. Wood had a 4.57 ERA in Triple-A this year. That’s depressing, until you think about how fortunate you are that you’re not the Red Sox outfield.
Bryan LaHair – Sat out yesterday because he’s in a 1-for-20 skid. And here I thought he’d hit .400 this year. I’m glad I didn’t request MLB to defrost Ted Williams’ head. On May 11th, when I told you to sell him, he had a .384 average with 8 homers. He now has 10 homers with a .315 average. He could be a platoon player by June 15th.
Alfonso Soriano – 1-for-4 with his 4th homer. At least he’s having the decency to hit so it’s not completely laughable that the Cubs will find someone to take him off their hands. Kinda laughable, just not completely.
Jeff Francoeur – 2-for-4 with his 3rd homer in… Let’s see how many times have I told you to own him in the last week?
Matt Carpenter – Left yesterday’s game with an injury to his side. Just when you thought the oblique couldn’t get any vaguer, teams are now just calling it an injured side.
Michael Bourn – 2 homers yesterday. That’s typically a season for him. Did his 3rd round drafter Matthew Berry erase his memory and Bourn suddenly assumed a power-hitting identity?
Vance Worley – Hopes to pitch again even after visiting Dr. Freeze. Here’s what frequent commenter, Cahhhhh-stanza, said, “Jo Anne’s son, Vance, went to see Dr. Freeze Monday for a 2nd opinion. His first opinion? Your mom’s best acting was on Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In. His second opinion? I think a 12-18 month vacation may be in your future.”
Roy Halladay – 6 IP, 5 ER. I’m officially concerned. Is this the beginning of the end for him being a number one? Citizens Flank is obviously not the friendliest of ballparks for pitchers, but that hasn’t changed from the last two years. Luckily, you didn’t draft him and just went with Anibal and Gio to anchor your staff like I told you.
P.J. Walters – The ex-Cardinal had a complete game victory vs. the White Sox – giving up 2 ER and 8 Ks. That’s 3-for-3 in quality starts so far. His minor league stats don’t hint at this being his breakout season, but maybe PJ’s turning into a sleeper.
Robinson Cano – 1-for-3 with his 5th homer. Still off the 8 homer, Ian Desmond pace car.
Josh Bell – 1-for-4 with a homer. He was hitting the feathers out of the chicken (that’s a saying) in Triple-A. He was also striking out more than a beagle in heat (also, a saying). I wouldn’t want him for the long term, but he has everyday playing time and might stay hotter than a camel riding a furnace (not a saying).
J.J. Putz – 3rd blown save last night with 1 IP, 2 ER. Dickey and Putz’s fortunes seem to be going in opposite directions like Siamese twins connected at the back. After Putz lived up to his name last night, it might be wise for his owners to handcuff themselves to David Hernandez.
Ubaldo Jimenez – 6 IP, 3 ER, 11 baserunners (6 BBs), 2 Ks. Six walks and two Ks? Did Francisco Liriano’s doctor do some ‘minor’ surgery on Ubaldo?
Tyler Clippard – Davey Johnson reached into his bag of relievers and pulled out Clippard to save the game against the Phillies. Nice 1-2-3 inning. Now get back in the bag, Tyler, before Davey Boy goes all bulldog on ya. BB-Rod is safe to drop for Craig “The Pistol” Stammen, Sean Burnett or Tyler Clippard. If I were picking them up, I’d do it in reverse order. Unless you’re reading this in a mirror. .tops dlab eht eciton neve t’nac ,doog skool riah ruoY
Ryan Zimmerman – Sat out yesterday with shoulder soreness. I’m hoping it’s a coverup because Jordan Zimmermann pitched and they only have one jersey.
Alex Avila – Hit his 5th homer yesterday. If someone grew bored of the .220-ish hitting Avila, he’s a decent guy to grab off waivers. No reason to think he can’t get back to respectable. That sounds like a title of an R&B album, Get Back To Respectable. A soulful journey as one woman gets back on her feet after a terrible breakup, as sung by Grey Albright.
C.J. Wilson – 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners (1 Hit), 7 Ks. Of course, if you read any other site, the lead story is Pujols hit a home run. Then twenty minutes of Bruce Harper, then what does Pujols think of Bryce Harper.
Elliot Johnson – 3-for-4 with his 8th steal. Kinda annoyed I missed out on him in the RCL, but I got Cozart homering now. Small booya.
Carlos Pena – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 6th homer as he hit leadoff. …HA! Sorry, tried to keep a straight face there. The Rays are so good, Maddon can’t even Mr. Bungle them. Luke Scott also homered. As we know from past experiences, Scott and Pena only homer 5 times in a ten day span, never once.
Hanley Ramirez – 3-for-5 with 2 steals. Now him and Reyes are red hot. Or is that red-orange?
Brian Matusz – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 9 Ks against the Sawx. Tip of the hat for the huge nutsacked owners who started him in this matchup. That includes those whose nutsacks are enlarged due to a medical condition and who happened to have Matusz in their starting rotation before going to the hospital.
Wilson Betemit – 1-for-3 with his 7th homer. Sure, I should’ve went with Betemit over Ryan Zimmerman, but a lot of good that’s doing me now!
Adam Wainwright – 4 hit shutout against the Padres with 9 Ks. We told everyone who listened to last week’s podcast to buy him as it only seemed like a matter of time before he Wainwrighted the ship. We have one word for how that must’ve tasted…
Yan Gomes – The Brazilian whacks another one! Just an FYI to those of you who are getting sick of LaHair in that slot.
Sometimes when you take the fielding coach a little too literal, this is what happens. Miguel Cabrera came face to face with his fielding fears and a baseball and the baseball won. A sharp grounder shattered his sunglasses, leaving his right eye a bloody mess. The good news for Miggy, the doctor prescribed a 15 ounce porterhouse. No word if Miggy put it on his eye with or without A1 Steak Sauce. Just thought of something. Since the 2012 All-Star Game is in Kansas City, I’m sure George Brett will throw out the first pitch. You thought he was mad during the Pine Tar Game, wait until he sees Miggy and Hanley playing 3rd. From early reports, it sounds like Miggy will be fine, but Tigers won’t release Miggy’s face X-rays until after this posts on Tuesday, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed. An&yswy, hiacte’s– Sorry, I’ll cross my fingers after I’m done with the post. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in spring training for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Joakim Soria – Has UCL damage, which isn’t related to damage caused by a drunk UL Washington. Or as Van Morrison would say, “His elbow doesn’t feel good. His elbow doesn’t feel right. His name is Soria. S-O-R-I-A… And his name is Soria… S-O-R-I-A…” There was talk that Soria should’ve been traded a few years ago. I tend to agree, you don’t have a $12 salad if you can’t make your rent, but that’s neither here nor there now. Some reports are saying Broxton will fill in as the closer. I think Holland will close in Soria’s stead. If you’re desperate for saves, I’d grab both of them. At this point, it’s not clear who will take over the role. I think it’s only about a 55% chance for Holland to be the closer, so you better grab an umbrella.
Chase Utley – Phils are reporting that he won’t be ready for Opening Day. Well, they’re saying doubtful, but I’m saying he won’t be ready. He has lingering pain in his knee and hasn’t had one at-bat all spring. If you already drafted Utley, then you had to know this was gonna happen. Chase’s knee hit every branch on the way down the Utley tree. Or maybe his knee wore out hoisting strippers against a wall. If you haven’t already drafted Utley, I’d push him down a few rounds.
Hong-Chih Kuo – Mariners released Kuo after he gave up 14 runs in 6 2/3 IP. Guess the M’s weren’t happy with the *pinkie to mouth* status Kuo. This is the second time Kuo has battled the yips. Maybe it’s in honor of Yip Yip, the cartoon Taiwanese dog that likes to pickle his milk bones.
Carl Crawford – Yesterday, he took 20 swings off a tee. The day before, 10 swings. By June, the Red Sox are gonna have a portable fan.
Corey Hart – Could play as soon as Friday in a minor league game. No word on whether or not Corey Hart will be wearing sunglasses.
Michael Brantley – Left the game for “precautionary reasons.” He’s listed as “day-to-day.” He should be back in “a few days.” The preceding was brought to you by Zagat.
Jarrod Parker – Was sent down to the minors for a black man’s first name. That’s some cold sheeeeeeeeeet! We’ll probably be seeing Parker in a few months once Tyson Ross and Graham Godfrey, with his loud, piercing voice and penchant for roasting opposing players, overstay their welcome.
Brad Peacock – Things aren’t looking good for my sleeper pickock. Hoping he still makes the rotation, but at the moment it’s looking like a long shot. He’s a top fifty prospect and breezed through Double and Triple-A last year, so I’d hold tight for the time being. Though I am fully expecting the ax to fall on him. Sad emoticon.
Yoenis Cespedes – Will be the A’s starting center fielder to start the season. No word on whether Yoenis’s brothers, Nick and Joe, will travel to Japan to watch him play in the opener.
Gregor Blanco – Word is it would take a “cataclysmic event to keep” Blanco off the Giants roster. Like Bochy finding a hat that fits him at Lids.
Rich Hill – Talk about a name from the past. Red Sox are saying he may get in a game this month. You know what I always liked about Rich Hill? The Sniglets.
Travis Wood – Was shelled yesterday. Or to put it to you all punny like, Wood was knocked around. After the Cubs said Samardzija was set for the rotation, this isn’t great news for Wood. Or Wood’s going limp, if you will.
Jordan Schafer – Due to a sprained hand, Schafer won’t be back into action until Thursday. Need to put your Zimmermania on hold for now.
Skip Schumaker – Sticking with the newly established theme of guys that sound Jewish but aren’t, Schumaker has an oblique tear. Vague! In related news, Allen Craig’s rehab has been progressing well. Here’s Oregon Nut Cups’ Allen Craig fantasy. He wrote it while chasing the dragon.
Chris Carpenter – May make his spring training debut this weekend, so he might still be back for Opening Day. I’m still no fan; not in the Carl Crawford sense either.
Tsuyoshi Nishioka – Was optioned to the Rochester Red Wings, which will soften the blow since that sounds like a Japanese baseball team name.
Vladimir Guerrero – Sounds like he might play in Japan. If someone signs him, that’ll say something since Japanese teams are limited to only one non-native player with an L in their name. While over there, maybe he can record an album, “Live at Vladokan.”
This is the league we won last year hosted by Scott White of CBS Sports. Yay, us. Okay, new year, new league. Well, not so fast. Last year’s league coasted through the season in first place from about May on and if you were industrious enough to click on that link, you’ll see it looks like a bit of a mess. We won with Freddy Sanchez and Skip Schumaker? We didn’t just win; we won in a walk. I don’t tell you to beat into your heads how good we are (maybe a little). I tell you this so you know how deep the league is you’re about to look at. No, I don’t like Clint Barmes, but if he’s getting ABs at MI in this here league, he’s worth a roster spot. Anyway, here’s our 2012 fantasy baseball team with thoughts on different draft picks:
C – Ryan Hanigan $4
C – Geovany Soto $11
1B – Gaby Sanchez $17
2B – Aaron Hill $13
3B – Pablo Sandoval $24
SS – Alex Gonzalez $3
MI – Clint Barmes $6
CI – Ryan Zimmerman $26
OF – Jay Bruce $27
OF – Tony Campana $5
OF – Jason Kubel $10
OF – Laynce Nix $0 (free round)
OF – Justin Upton $36
U – Gerardo Parra $1
Bench – Stephen Lombardozzi $0 (free round)
Bench – Chase d’Arnaud $0 (free round)
Bench – Tony Gwynn $0 (free round)
Bench – Brett Jackson $4
P – Trevor Cahill $10
P – Daniel Hudson $19
P – Anibal Sanchez $14
P – Ricky Nolasco $4
P – Juan Nicasio $4
P – Chris Narveson $1
P – Aaron Harang $2
P – Javy Guerra $11
P – Luke Gregerson $8
Bench – Brad Lidge $0 (free round)
Bench – Brandon Lyon $0 (free round)
Bench – Travis Wood $0 (free round)
THAT’S NOT SAGNOF… THIS IS SAGNOF!
Saves and steals were going for really high prices. Marmol, who I like, went for $18 (a price I don’t like him at), Axford went for $18, Madson at $19… The list goes on; I won’t bore you (further). So we overpaid for Gregerson praying he would sneak some saves and we have Guerra. Um, blech. We’ll need to acquire some saves off waivers or in a trade, which is totally doable, so there’s that. For those with an advanced degree from the College of Fantasy Baseball at Charleston, Kenley Jansen went for $8, but it was early in the draft and we didn’t know we’d be hamstrung without saves. Yes, in hindsight, the right move would’ve been to get Jansen, but then we would’ve been paying $19 for all of the Dodgers saves, which is kinda absurd. As for the other half of SAGNOF, our team felt pretty lead-footed so we grabbed Campana to kill those cockroaches. With only the crap-oika of Byrd, Soriano and DeJesus ahead of him, ABs should be had. At $5, if he gets 25 steals, he’s a bargain. To back up that gamble, we invested in Brett Jackson. When he is called up, we’ll be a strong bargaining chip or we just insert him in our lineup over, say, Laynce Nix.
RICKY NOLASCO IS A FRIEND OF RAZZBALL? OH, HELLS NO
As kinda alluded to in the lede, in a league this deep, you’re not going to have a team where you like all the guys. Maybe I’ll grow to like Nolasco, but at $4 we just need him to have 150 Ks and an ERA south of 4.50. I kinda hate his guts though, so I hope that hatred doesn’t manifest itself into self-fulfilling prophecy where he gives us a 7.50 ERA. Aaron Harang isn’t really a friend of Razzball either, but you know what makes up for all of this? Sweet, sweet Anibal! (Please let his shoulder be okay. Thank you, whoever I’m addressing right now.)
“YOU ALWAYS TELL US NOT TO TAKE BENCH BATS. WHAT GIVES YOU, GOOFTARD?!”
It’s a deep, weekly league and we need some flexibility when the best bat on waivers is Henry Blanco. For most of you, you don’t need four bench bats, three of which are in the minors. In very deep leagues, you should take some bench bats. A 12 team, mixed league isn’t a very deep league. How do you know when you’re in a deep league? When you’re looking at starting Rico Suave in your Utility spot.
IN OCTOBER, I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT FOR SEX WITH JAY BRUCE
I hope. Or I’m gonna wanna kill him, because as mentioned in the podcast and multiple times on the site, people are lower than I am on Bruce this year and I’m getting him everywhere. I mean, like, everywhere everywhere. I may end up with him on an AL-Only team. Why are people down on Bruce? I’m confounded in my perplexatude! (Perplexatude isn’t yet a word, but I’m gonna start a grassroots campaign to try to change that.) Bruce just came off a great year and he’s still young. What, you people need me to shine a flashlight on him like how Ron Roenicke gets Nyjer Morgan’s attention?
For everything that went right in 2010 for Travis Wood, 2011 saw everything go epic fail wrong. His K/9 dropped, his BB/9 rose and ERA jumped a full run. It got so bad, even Dusty Baker didn’t want to abuse his arm anymore as they sent him to AAA in June. I’m giving his 2011 a ‘lack of confidence’ pass; I didn’t see an organization that fully trusted him and I saw that turn into a lack of trust for himself. It’s my theory and I’ll type if I want to. I’d love to hear how you think a guy goes from striking out 8 per 9 to 6.5 per 9 in the matter of 1 season without signs of an injury. The only thing that seemed to get hurt to me was his pride.
There’s also something that strikes me as odd about his 2011 line and it was a similar fluke that hit his teammate, Edinson Volquez: Ridiculously bad 1st innings. Quirky stats here: He gave up 21 ERs in the first inning in 2011, good for a 10.50 ERA. In total, he gave up 57 earned runs for 2011 meaning he gave up over one third of his runs in the first inning of his starts. His ERA from 2nd inning to 6th? It’s at 3.97, a reasonable ERA to expect from him with average luck. Wanna know how well he did after the 6th inning? Well, I don’t know, it’s hard enough to reach the 6th inning if your 1st inning ERA is that high. I’m not making a skillset comparison here, but realize Madison Bumgarner started the year off with some terrible first inning luck. You can attribute most of his bad March/April to a couple of 2 inning clunkers. But Madison wasn’t going anywhere. He knew that and his managers knew that. But did Travis Wood know that or was the talk of Mike Leake, Sam LeCure and Homer Bailey getting to him? You’ll have to find out how many licks to the center of that Dusty Baker tootsie pop yourself.
Note I will not necessarily draft Wood straight out the gates. That’s why he’s ranked so low in ADP; I can go on yahoo, click the clear flag to blue and see how he performs in his first few starts. Your starters will probably fluctuate over the course of the year but someone always grabs that seemingly outta nowhere guy in mid April and you just wonder ‘how he knew’. Sometimes you have to look at what’s Under the Greydar to find them. See how the title ties in nicely with that line? It’s like we here at Deep League Thoughts knew we were ready to bring this sucker full circle!
