The title of this post was nearly, “F*ck Luis Cruz.” If that guy gets in the way of my last round draft pick of Dee Gordon, I’m gonna be none too happy! Or is that “I’m gonna be some unhappy?” While Hanley Ramirez is out with a thumb injury, I want Dee Gordon to play for a month and for the Dodgers to say they won’t play Luis Cruz. I homophoned you! If anyone out there drafted Hanley already, I want to see your faces. Push them against your computer monitors or your handheld mobile devices. You are traitors to Razzball. I said specifically — or pacifically if you’re on a boat off the coast of California — not to draft Hanley. Word for word, “I’m done with Hanley until we see a return to his previous glory.” I didn’t even bury the lede. That’s the first freakin’ sentence of my Hanley blurb on the top 20 shortstops for 2013 fantasy baseball. I hope Hanley’s out for 3 months, returns to hit 7 homers with 12 steals and someone drafts him in the 3rd round of 2014, too. Know why? Because no matter how many times I tell people to ignore position scarcity, they don’t listen. You need to jam a cotton swab in your noggin like Lena Dunham and clean out your wax. (BTW, season two of Girls — meandering, pointless, adjective. Biggest drop in quality from season one to season two for a TV show since Heroes.) The Dodgers are saying Hanley could be out anywhere from two weeks to ten weeks. If you drafted him, you don’t read this so I’m talking to all the people who didn’t draft him. Send an email to the Hanley drafters. Subject: Trade Offer. Body of email: Any interest in trading for Yunel Escobar? I’ll take Paul Goldschmidt. Click send. Now unfriend them on Facebook. Done. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in Spring Training for 2013 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
In our 2013 fantasy baseball rankings, we’ve gone over so many flippin’ players I’ve lost track. This is, I believe, the top 60 starters for 2013 fantasy baseball, but you’re best to check the title to be sure. If it is indeed the top 60 starters, then you’re in luck. Only a few more top 20 rankings posts. What is it, February? March? Why don’t I have an app for this? Or do I want a hashtag? App ‘n Hashtag would be a good name for a 50′s style diner with wifi. As with the other rankings posts, tiers and my projections are mentioned. Anyway, here’s the top 60 starters for 2013 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Braves dumped Tommy Hanson and his salary for a free agent acquisition to be named later. Imagine the Braves get Hamilton. Heyward/Upton/Hamilton, zoinks! Although, they are more likely to get someone like Swisher. Or maybe they can land international free agent, Juan Jablome. Heyward, Jablome, Upton? “Screw you, I prefer B.J.!” “Okay, whatever you wanna call it!” So, Tommy Hanson’s value has sky-plummeted in the last eighteen months. He went from a one or a two to “Is his shoulder ever gonna be right again?” It’s not the worse gamble for the Angels, though I still wouldn’t want to own Hanson in fantasy. He’s not someone I would take a gamble on until I saw a good few months from him during the season, i.e., I won’t own him coming out of drafts. For 2013, I see his line being 12-10/3.87/1.30/169. Anyway, here’s some more offseason news for 2013 fantasy baseball:
Psych! Before we get into the news, I just wanted to announce that you may want to take a screenshot… Shizz is about to change. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, kazoo. Okay, you’ll see on Saturday night (or maybe Sunday or maybe Monday or maybe a week from now or maybe…You get the picture.). Anyway II, here’s some 2013 fantasy baseball news:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The .245 AVG is going to look ugly next March but 31 HRs and 80+ R/RBI has been nirvana for anyone (like Rudy) who plucked Josh Reddick off free agency in shallow leagues this year. The power is real and, unlike the last A’s power hitter (Jack Cust), he is an above average fielder. So the A’s now have 2/3 of a phallic OF foundation with Reddick and Yoenis. Where is Lance Johnson Jr or Dick Pole Jr when you need them?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Just in time for the H2H playoffs, Troy Tulowitzki returns to throw a quandary into your lineup. Do you bench a guy that has actually been performing for a guy that hasn’t done anything this year and is coming back from an injury?Please, blog, may I have some more?
It didn’t take long for Josh Beckett to cause people to question the heart of the Dodgers staff. And they didn’t even have to send them a Valentine. Look, we wouldn’t wish a heart issue on anyone but of all the Dodger closers over the years, why Kenley Jansen?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Alex Cobb threw a 4-hit, 2-walk shutout with 8 Ks vs. the A’s. Cy Cobb? Nah, probably not. Last night though, pretty. Let’s look it how The Tampa Bay Peach got where he is. Earlier this year, The Tampa Bay Peach hit that sweet spot, deciduously ready and he dropped to the ground, rolled about sixteen feet into the River Styx as “Come Sail Away” was playing in the background.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Old McDonald got a win, K, K, K, K, K! And in this win he struck out seven….Yes, James McDonald finally showed flashes of his first half form again last night, pitching 6.0 innings, surrendering just 2 hits, 0 ER, and striking out 7 for his 11th win.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here’s what I said last November about Theo Epstein, “A new GM can toss out the used-up-and-spit-out pieces he inherits, right? It’s like when a new boss comes into a flailing company and all the employees start quaking in their boots that they’re gonna get fired because they’re unproductive.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Los Angeles is a town where the only thing better than a great idea is cashing in on the goodwill of that great idea via sequels. So it is no surprise that the Dodgers released a sequel to their 2009 hit, Malcontent Ramirez.Please, blog, may I have some more?