I just want to put it out there, I love Eric Young Jr. I have a plan in place to have Prince Fielder have a long discussion Eric Young Jr. about nogoodnik fathers and step in as EY Jr.’s surrogate. We will vacation in Orlando and try faux exotic foods at Epcot, like Greek and Spanish. When Eric Young Jr.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Todd Helton
The first time Manny Ramirez went on waivers was before the 2004 season when the Sawx dared any team to accept his $20MM/year contract. No one did and he helped the Sawx win the World Series. Now it’s the Dodgers’ turn. Say goodbye to Mannywood? Could be. If no one dares take him, the McCourts will be fighting over custody of him during the divorce proceedings (You take him…No, you take him…No, you take him to Central Park and let him play on the jungle gym then, when he falls, carry him 20 blocks to the nearest ER). Hopefully for Manny’s sake, the Patron Saint of Bad Contracts (Kenny Williams of the ChiSox) claims him. If Manny goes to a new team, it could invigorate him like a healthy dose of estrogen. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Octavio Dotel – In the closerousel in L.A., Dotel recorded the save. Broxton worked a perfect 8th, then Torre threw three relievers in the ninth with none of them being Kuo. Of course not, why would Kuo be used? He was only labeled the closer replacement while Broxton figures his shizz out. Assuming no meltdowns, Broxton will be the closer again soon.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Jose Bautista hit his 39th and 40th home runs last night. As frequent commenter, VinWins, pointed out yesterday, in the Blue Kays last 162 games, Bautista has 50 homers. Okay, I was way off with this guy, but Jose Bautista didn’t see this year coming. His own mother doesn’t recognize him. Every morning he wakes up wondering if the last five months were a dream. This is the craziest home run year since Scooter McGillicuddy blasted 6 homers in 1901 while battling scurvy. Bautista hadn’t hit 30 homers in the past two years combined in twice as many games. His HR/FB% is nearly double his career mark. His fly balls are through the roof, literally. His Isolated Power is near Babe Ruth’s career mark. The HR department thinks Bautista lied on his resume. A mouth enters on the left side of the screen and says, “Im,” a mouth enters on the right side and says, “Probable.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brandon Morrow – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 12 Ks. Hello, beautiful. I hate AL East pitchers, but I might just own Morrow on all of my teams next year. Right after, I draft Daniel Hudson.
Please, blog, may I have some more?In the clubhouse after last night’s game, the Nats watched as ESPN reported Strasburg wasn’t pitching until Friday so there was nothing to talk about. Nothing to say about Adam Dunn. Nothing to say about that Zimmerman guy. Josh Will-something… They couldn’t even remember his name. The team stopped watching the highlights, upset they were nothing but Anthony Edwards to Strasburg’s Clooney. Knowing something had to be done, Dunn left the clubhouse as he always had – by reaching up, removing the ceiling and climbing out. Then he jumped on the back of a blue ox and circled the globe until time rewound to before the game. Dunn then went out and hit his 18th, 19th and 20th homers while rocking a .280 average on the year. Now after the game, ESPN reported Dunn hit 3 homers, specifying it came just two days prior to Strasburg’s next start. Dunn shrugged, it was a start as he ripped the blue ox’s leg off and had dinner. Hee-haw! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ian Desmond – 1-for-2 with his 2nd homer in as many games. Now has 6 homers and 6 steals on the year. Ever heard of the slow boat to China? Yeah, Desmond’s on the slow boat to 12/12.
Please, blog, may I have some more?It’s always fun when a player is traded from one team to another and doesn’t gain or lose any value whatsoever. Can’t wait for Moneyball: The Movie. After the last image of Billy Beane patting Scott Hatteberg on the butt, the screen fades. Over black, we read: After three straight sub-.500 years, Billy Beane, still finding value where no one else is, traded for Conor Jackson, who failed to impress anyone ever but had a career .358 On Base Percentage. (I imagine Hollywood would spell out OBP.) Not one dry eye in the entire theater. Of course, the only ones in the theater are A’s fans, nevertheless! Pursue Jackson timidly in AL-Only leagues. Meanwhile, Gerardo Parra will take over for CoJo. This Parra doesn’t walk people, he runs. Unfortunately, he hasn’t run enough to make him that interesting in mixed leagues. Parra’s upside is 7 homers, 15 steals. He shouldn’t be a liability on average. Obviously, picking him up depends on your league, but he can be grabbed in NL-Only leagues. In most mixed leagues, I think there’s gotta be someone more suave than Gerardo. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Aaron Heilman – Will officially take over for Qualls. Every since Qualls had kneecap n’ crunch last year, he hasn’t seemed right. Hinch says he’ll let Qualls work in non-pressure situations so he can regain the closer role down the road. So in leagues where you were hoping to lose him, Qualls once again provides no relief. Pun point!
Please, blog, may I have some more?Some of you will be drafting your fantasy baseball teams over at ESPN and that’s cool. I don’t mind their drafting and league setups. Plus, they’re free. If you don’t like your team, do like 98% of the other people at ESPN and abandon your team in May. But when you’re drafting at ESPN, you’re confronted by their rankings. It’s important to know what they’re saying, so you can exploit the rankings for your greater good. I’m going off my top 100 for 2010 fantasy baseball and top 300. So here’s some random turd nuggets from the ESPN 2010 fantasy baseball rankings:
Carl Crawford – 8 at ESPN, 19 here. Before Miggy Cabrera, Tex, Longoria, Howard… Buh-but, Grey, isn’t 1st base deep?
Please, blog, may I have some more?We’ve already went over the top 20 catchers for 2009; soon we’ll go over the top 20 2nd basemen for 2009, then the top 20 shortstops… Well, right now we’re going over the top 20 1st basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball. It’s a look back, ya’ll! Don’t worry, soon we’ll look forward. With the 1st basemen, you’ll (maybe) notice that I’m a lot closer in my rankings and predictions for these guys as compared to the catchers. This is to be expected. 1st basemen are usually guys in the middle of the lineups that produce every year; catchers are a crapshoot for hitting. Okay, enough about catchers. Anyway, here’s the top 20 1st basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
1.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Alas, for now the Rays are Price-less. (To recall a conversation I once had with my grandmother after she threw out my 1986 Sportsflic Jose Canseco rookie card, “That card was priceless!” “Yeah, because it wasn’t worth shit.”) Frankly, I’m surprised the Rays sent David Price down. I thought he would start in the bullpen then get starts by the end of April/beginning of May, accumulating 150 innings. Jason Hammel and Niemann!
Please, blog, may I have some more?Carlos Lee is hurt. Bad. He broke his left pinkie finger sending him to the DL. This also can’t be good for his Dr. Evil impersonation. Chances are he won’t be back this year. I’ve gone ahead and cut him in a 15-team league.
Please, blog, may I have some more?

