Ahh..the refreshing feelings of a vacation high-a-tus really slows down the passion for fantasy baseball. Not helping it at all is the beginning of footieball, which turns the baseball week from 7 days to 6 now with all of our attention to fantasy football. A shout out to the fellas as Razzball Football who straight up kill it from week to week, and if you aren’t reading it daily then you suck and I hope you get stalked ritualistically by carnies. So back to the grind of the final few weeks here and the state of the bullpens are pretty stagnant. The only situation that I see taking a chunk of fantasy value is the situation in Pittsburgh (which is a great situation for actual baseball cause it’s great to see the ‘burgh with playoff intentions). Jason Grilli returned from the DL and has jumped into a set-up role for now and Melancon is proving to be a Cy Young type reliever this year. He won’t win but his numbers are stupid great. Like a really dumb Tony the Tiger great, so insert that image in your head, and play over and over again. Addicting isn’t it. I can see Grilli getting a chance this upcoming week to garner some save chances, mostly in an alternating role so if you cuffed yourself right then pay attention to the day before and insert into roster accordingly. Stick around for some goodies, and maybe a chance for some punch and pie.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Royals physician diagnosed Danny Duffy with a torn UCL, which would mean Tommy John surgery. In related news, Dr. James Andrews is filing a trademark lawsuit, saying he’s the only doctor that can shut down pitchers for longer than 60 days. In sorta related news, Francisco Liriano is still waiting to come back. In unrelated news, when Dr.Please, blog, may I have some more?
And we have our first Disgraceful List of the season and the season hasn’t even started yet (really). I hate to say I told you so, so (stutterer!) instead, I’ll just quote the relevant text from earlier this preseason, “(Michael Pineda) is young so there’s plenty of time to see how well he adjusts. For now, I’m going to let someone else take the chance on him. What it really comes down to is it’s not very difficult to find solid starters, so there’s no reason to take unnecessary risk.” And that’s me quoting me! Zadow! I feel like I’ve exorcised a demon when I tell you to avoid someone and they bust. (Oh, and Rudy told you to avoid him too at his risky pitchers post.) It makes me feel so good. Schadenfreude! Can you feel my excitement? You know those struggling artists from touristy beach towns that draw caricatures in coal? I’m gonna hire one of them and one of those skywriting airplanes and have them draw a giant mustache in the sky above your house. I might also have the pilot wear a burlap sack. Why? Cause it’s a crazy person mocking you, that makes it even worse! Now, if you ignored our advice and drafted him, this was actually the best case scenario, because now you can DL him, before it looked like you were just gonna have to watch him in the minors while on your bench. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Andrew Bailey – Even with bad news, the Red Sox won’t accept being upstaged by the Yankees. Bailey hurts thumb, gives fantasy owners the finger. The injury could force him to the DL to start the season. Oh, won’t you stay healthy Andrew Bailey, Andrew Bailey? “Is it me or is this the news once a month for him, “Andrew Bailey has been cleared to start throwing.” Hey, Bailey, throw already!” That’s me quoting me from last year! It’s same shizz different day/month/year with Bailey. It was announced that the Sawx would turn to Aceves first if (when?) Bailey hits the DL. Then Bobby Valentine made a wrap sandwich, because he invented them and likes to talk about that.Please, blog, may I have some more?
As we mentioned earlier this month, we created an ‘expert’ league that follows the same rules as the Razzball Commenter League and will be included in the master standings. Will the Expert League reign supreme (Iron ChefTM) in competitive index or will several RCL leagues put the experts in their place?Please, blog, may I have some more?
I could probably draft a team of these starters, who are drafted after the 150 mark in mock drafts, and win your league’s pitching stats. In this post last year was Ricky Romero, Hellickson, Kuroda, Gio Gonzalez, Zimmermann, Chacin, Cueto, and Daniel Hudson. I had those guys on multiple teams. I don’t say this to brag, but I’m really good at targeting starters to, um, target. Well, I’m good with hitters too, but starters I’m really good. I’d like to say it’s because I’m smart, but since I’m sorta dumb I’m not sure what it is. Maybe I’m an idiot savant, who I believe was Doug Savant’s cousin that had a walk-on part on Melrose Place, the Original. And with all of that said, you should still draft a starter or two before you see any of these names on the top of your draft list. Well, you know what to do from my top 20 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball. It’s good to have a safe starter or two before you go upside. In the immortal words of some drunk tightrope walker, “I don’t need the net under the trapeze but I want it there. Burp.” There’s also a pitchers pairings post to help you along with your staff. That’s what she said! Wait, what? Finally, you can check out APPLES. Anyway, here’s some starters to target in your 2012 fantasy baseball drafts:
Ubaldo Jimenez – Under that link is my projections and thoughts. To read a less optimistic man’s thoughts on Ubaldo, click on the thing that says “thoughts on Ubaldo.” Though that might’ve been clear. I need a mentee to seamlessly link to shizz.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Some analyses strike gold. Some analyses are an immediate bust. It’s the third type – the ‘fool’s gold’ type – that are the most frustrating. After three years of middling predictions, I think my ‘risky pitcher’ analysis from a couple years ago is falling into that 3rd category.Please, blog, may I have some more?
This is almost the end of the 2012 fantasy baseball rankings. With these top 80 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball, there’s a few names that I’m really gunning for on my teams… My deeper teams. On last year’s top 80, there were a few guys that shot up the rankings (Hellickson, Anibal, Garza and Zimmermann), so I imagine a lot of you won’t need most of the names on this list, but there will be some. Now humor me. There’s tiers and projections mentioned for everyone. Anyway, here’s the top 80 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball:
61.Please, blog, may I have some more?
This year Doug Fister has been a revelation like a Dorito in the shape of the Virgin Mary telling you it’s time to change your underwear. Mystically, making something out of nothing and turning it into a little something-something. 13 strikeouts yesterday?! Doode has never struck out more than 6 prior to this year. I never thought I’d say this, but I really like Fister and it hurts so good. Sure, I’m pretty easy. Strikeout some guys and I get all googly-eyed, but he now has a 2.64 ERA on the Tigers and a 3.17 ERA on the year with a 1.14 WHIP. Fister?! I hardly knew her! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Carlos Beltran – Missed yesterday’s game with food poisoning. You can call him Upchuck Beltran.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Kevin Gregg was handed his 6th blown save yesterday. He’s tizzerrible. I won’t defend him. Your honor, no questions at this time. I just don’t see the Orioles bothering to switch things up. They’re defeated. Look into their eyes and you see the shadow of Cal Ripken Jr.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Desmond Jennings was called up. “No, he wasn’t.” “Yes, he was.” “No.” “Yes!” “Yes!” “No– Wait, I was the one saying yes.” Or so went us, me, you, we for the last two months. Why do we care so much? Because we have a void in our own lives?Please, blog, may I have some more?