Achilles (Tennessee Mash – RCL 25) had another good week and increased their lead in the overall standings. Josh Hamilton, Joey Votto, Jay Bruce, Ted Lilly, and Brandon Morrow were the key performers for the top team.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Ted Lilly
Grey and Rudy are letting me run a team for Razzball, and I’m totally pumped about it. See, this is my first venture into the realm of expert leagues or writer’s leagues or whatever the hell you wanna call them and the pressure on a rookie like me is enormous. Grey told me I can only cover White Sox prospects if I don’t finish in the top eight. I feel like Andrew Luck or something… probably bigger than that, actually. Anyway. The auction happened a couple Thursdays ago and my strategy was simple: don’t look stupid. I’m not quite sure if I’ve succeeded in that regard. You tell me. Click here to see the complete auction results.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
And we have our first Disgraceful List of the season and the season hasn’t even started yet (really). I hate to say I told you so, so (stutterer!) instead, I’ll just quote the relevant text from earlier this preseason, “(Michael Pineda) is young so there’s plenty of time to see how well he adjusts. For now, I’m going to let someone else take the chance on him. What it really comes down to is it’s not very difficult to find solid starters, so there’s no reason to take unnecessary risk.” And that’s me quoting me! Zadow! I feel like I’ve exorcised a demon when I tell you to avoid someone and they bust. (Oh, and Rudy told you to avoid him too at his risky pitchers post.) It makes me feel so good. Schadenfreude! Can you feel my excitement? You know those struggling artists from touristy beach towns that draw caricatures in coal? I’m gonna hire one of them and one of those skywriting airplanes and have them draw a giant mustache in the sky above your house. I might also have the pilot wear a burlap sack. Why? Cause it’s a crazy person mocking you, that makes it even worse! Now, if you ignored our advice and drafted him, this was actually the best case scenario, because now you can DL him, before it looked like you were just gonna have to watch him in the minors while on your bench. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Andrew Bailey – Even with bad news, the Red Sox won’t accept being upstaged by the Yankees. Bailey hurts thumb, gives fantasy owners the finger. The injury could force him to the DL to start the season. Oh, won’t you stay healthy Andrew Bailey, Andrew Bailey? “Is it me or is this the news once a month for him, “Andrew Bailey has been cleared to start throwing.” Hey, Bailey, throw already!” That’s me quoting me from last year! It’s same shizz different day/month/year with Bailey. It was announced that the Sawx would turn to Aceves first if (when?) Bailey hits the DL. Then Bobby Valentine made a wrap sandwich, because he invented them and likes to talk about that.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Ryan Madson has to have Tommy John surgery. Luckily, he signed with a Dusty Baker-managed team as the trainers have a lot of experience diagnosing busted arms. Sean Marshall will likely take over the closing gig, spurring indie comedy fans in Cincy to bring Sean Of The Red signs to games. Best case scenario: Marshall goes the whole season with the job, continues to rack up a 9+ K-rate and 40+ saves. Most realistic scenario: Dusty brings Marshall into the ninth inning of a tie game and, as the two teams battle scoreless inning after scoreless inning, Marshall stays in the game for another 16 innings and throws 450 pitches. 125 of those pitches he kicks over the plate Hacky Sack-style because his arm is too tired. Then Masset and Aroldis end up getting 5-7 saves each and Marshall ends the year with 30+ saves and an ERA around 3.50. Most likely scenario involving dolphins: Marshall falls asleep on a raft and wakes in Barbados. With the phone lines down due to a tropical storm, he befriends the local innkeeper, Teronimo, who teaches him how to surf. But Teronimo has a hidden secret — Marshall is really his nephew that his brother asked him to watch over. When Teronimo reveals his secret, there’s a giant rift between Marshall and Teronimo that is only assuaged by the sight of dolphins. No matter the scenario, grab Sean Marshall immediately. You might’ve just lucked into a top tier closer for free. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Drew Storen – Could start the year on the DL. Davey Johnson made that announcement minutes after he said Storen had no structural issues with his elbow, which came a day after he said Storen needed an MRI, which was minutes after Storen said he couldn’t throw, which can mere moments after he was diagnosed with strep throat. Following? Yeah, neither do I. I’m beginning to think some ball clubs need a new HMO. Johnson said Clippard would not see saves, but the team would turn to Henry Rodriguez or Brad Lidge. I’d pick them up in reverse order for saves. When in doubt, go with the guy with experience. And no one has experience blowing leads quite like Lidge. “Nats Fall Off the Lidge” is already written on a Post-It on some copy editor’s desk just waiting to go to press. In one league where our innings max is small and our needs for Ks is tall — she says she likes the ocean — we went with Rodriguez. He averages 98 MPH with his fastball and has a 9+ K-rate. If he can keep his walks in check, he could be this year’s huge middle reliever breakout.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Okay, so it’s not the best 2012 fantasy baseball team, but, man, that title sings, right? This is the best 2012 fantasy baseball team that I can put together when drafting from my top 100 for 2012 fantasy baseball and top 300 for 2012 fantasy baseball. Honestly, I could draft another 25 teams from those lists, and they’d all be different. If I took Longoria in the 1st round, everything after it would change. For this exercise, I’m taking Swiggy first, because, well, I have him first overall. Then once I take him at number one, I can’t take another player until the 24th pick, then choose two players within the next 24 picks, then 2 players in the next 24 picks and so on until the end of the top 100. Just like a snake draft. It would be nice if I was in a league where someone drafted Halladay, Verlander and Kershaw in the first round and I was able to take Longoria in the 2nd round, but since Miggy and him are in my first 10 picks, according to the rules I’ve set up for myself, I can’t take them both. Then, as we all know, once you get into the 100′s, there’s wide gaps between ADP and where players are actually taken. People tend to look at team need over value. So for this exercise, once I get to pick #101, I’m going to pick two players every twenty picks, rather than every 24 picks. That’s to account for the wide margin between ADP and where players are drafted. Finally, because there is so much latitude in the last 100, I gave myself free reign to fill up my team. Throughout the draft, I also gave myself the ability to reach to a lower draft pick, but not reach forward. It should still be my ideal team… Or not. Let’s see, shall we? Bee tee dubya, this team is 5×5, one catcher, 5 OFs, MI, CI, 1 UT, 9 P, 3 Bench, just like the Razzball Commenter Leagues that are signing up still. Anyway, here’s the best 2012 fantasy baseball team:
C: Joe Mauer (10)
1B: Miggy Cabrera (1)
2B: Chase Utley (5)
3B: David Wright (2)
SS: Dee Gordon (15)
MI: Zack Cozart (16)
CI: Adam Lind (7)
OF: Jay Bruce (3)
OF: Drew Stubbs (6)
OF: Andre Ethier (8)
OF: Torii Hunter (12)
OF: Lorenzo Cain (17)
UTIL: Chris Heisey (25)
P: Madison Bumgarner (4)
P: Anibal Sanchez (9)
P: Matt Moore (11)
P: Jhoulys Chacin (13)
P: Ryan Madson (14)
P: Mike Minor (18)
P: Jordan Walden (19)
P: Kyle Farnsworth (20)
P: Brad Peacock (21)
BENCH:
P: Ted Lilly (22)
P: Jim Johnson (23)
P: Aroldis Chapman (24)
So what do we learn from that in the most general sense? You don’t have to draft pitchers early. For those looking at my staff and thinking it won’t compete, my last year’s staff when I did this dream team post was:
P: Jon Lester (5)
P: Dan Haren (8)
P: John Axford (13)
P: Daniel Hudson (12)
P: Jhoulys Chacin (14)
P: Chris Perez (15)
P: Craig Kimbrel (17)
P: Mike Minor (18)
P: Jordan Zimmermann (19)
BENCH:
P: Ryan Madson (20)
P: Jason Motte (21)
P: Rafael Soriano (22)
You can switch Mike Minor out of there for Beachy too, because once he was in the rotation I switched the two of them on all of my teams. As I’ve said in the past, I may not know a damn thing, but I can pick a pitching staff. Seriously, Lester, Haren, Hudson and Chacin were all you needed. Then you throw in Beachy, Madson, Kimbrel and Axford and you have 12′s in every pitching category. And that’s not considering you could’ve dropped Soriano and picked up a great waiver wire guy. This shows you that you need to really load up on hitters early, because, as much as you like that late-round-flyer man in the 18th round to be your corner guy, it’s probably not gonna work out for you. Make sure you have at least two outfielders, a 2nd baseman, 3rd baseman and 1st baseman in the first ten rounds. In my team above, I even reached way down for Ethier in the 8th round because I wanted to make sure I had an extra bat. Also, I find myself grabbing Mauer this year to offset Stubbs and other average drains. No one’s getting anything from catcher, so may as well get some average there if he comes at the right price. I am not reaching for him. If he’s there in the 9th to 10th rounds, great. In the end, this really is just an exercise. It’s fun though! For me. So what do you think of my fantasy fantasy team? Don’t like it? Go to the top 300 and make up your own fantasy fantasy team and post it in the comments. Or not. Decisions, decisions!
Please, blog, may I have some more?This is almost the end of the 2012 fantasy baseball rankings. With these top 80 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball, there’s a few names that I’m really gunning for on my teams… My deeper teams. On last year’s top 80, there were a few guys that shot up the rankings (Hellickson, Anibal, Garza and Zimmermann), so I imagine a lot of you won’t need most of the names on this list, but there will be some. Now humor me. There’s tiers and projections mentioned for everyone. Anyway, here’s the top 80 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball:
61.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Apparently, A-Rod’s got a bucket list (get creative with letter replacements for b) that he wrote when he was 15 years old. Madonna, check. Cameron Diaz, check. Christie Brinkley, check. “I wonder if Phoebe Cates will come to my pool party.” To spice things up, he puts on Betamax copies of Skinemax movies. “Oh, Emmanuelle…” Who needs Derek Jeter’s rejects when you can have Mickey Rourke’s?
Please, blog, may I have some more?Ryan Madson went to the DL with numbness in his pitching hand. Hello, bullpen? Is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me. Brad Lidge is due back in a few weeks. AHHHHH! Now you feel a little sick. Antonio Bastardo would be the immediate add for vulture saves. That’ll keep you going through the show. Come on, it’s time to go. But that Bastardo is a lefty, so Michael Stutes could get some saves. Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re saying. Michael Stutes could get some saves. Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re saying. Michael Stutes– Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re saying. Forget it, I’d grab Bastardo if I were in desperate need for saves. Unless you have become comfortably numb. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brett Cecil – The man who sounds like a 70′s Playboy pinup has returned from Triple-A. During the preseason, I put Cecil in a tier of starters called, “There’s some upside here, but I wouldn’t expect anything,” and said more or less that Cecil was once considered better than Romero.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sounds like Ike Davis is done for the year. He could be facing microfracture ankle surgery. Man, will the Mets ever catch a big break? First, Beltran had microfracture surgery on his knee, and now Davis. What’s with the Mets and tiny surgery? Can’t the Mets find a normal-sized doctor? Microsurgery is the 101 class if you’re going to be a surgeon. Macrosurgery is the 102 class. That’s a little known fact — literally! For fantasy purposes, just think, now you have more room on your DL. You’re welcome. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brandon Beachy – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 11 Ks. That’s one for the Brandon Beachy Memoirs. Now if only he’d stop looking up his cousin’s dress.
Please, blog, may I have some more?I read yesterday Brett Anderson might be headed for TJ surgery, which I believe is surgery done while a stray dog limps through the operating room… Wait, Googling TJ surgery. Oh, it’s Tommy John surgery, not Tijuana surgery. Silly me. “No, I don’t want any chiclets, I’m having a tumor removed!” That’s someone in Tijuana having surgery. Something’s wrong with Anderson, Tommy John surgery or not. He’s making a nice run to be included in the definition for Bennis Carpensheeter. I just have to add an ‘r’ and it’s Brennis; you follow, Anderson. I’m sure that’s his main concern. “You know, my career was going fine until I was included in the Razzball glossary.” That’s Brett Anderson talking to Bryant Gumbel’s head in a jar of formaldehyde on Real Sports in 40 years. I wouldn’t drop Anderson yet, but I get the sense it’s not too far away. Doesn’t anyone stay in one place anymore? Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jemile Weeks – A’s are calling up their 2nd base prospect. Jemile, schlimazel… Hasenpfeffer Incorporated!
Please, blog, may I have some more?
