Jurickson Profar called up to replace The Ian Kinsler DL Experiment. I’ll wait here while you go add Profar in your league. Okay, back? Good! If you’re not back yet, then you’re not reading this, so let me clear the air, I slept with your sister. Baseballstar Profarlactica is the safest bet from catching the prospect hype virus in the known universe. First (after all those other firsts), let’s see what Scott, our prospect writer, wrote, “Profar brings legit 20-20 potential, along with .300+ AVG, and an OBP north of .350. From shortstop, that sort of production would be enormous. Here’s Grey’s Jurickson Profar fantasy. Also check out my Top 25 Prospects for 2013, where Profar came in at #15. I also slept with your sister.” Damn, hope those other people still aren’t back. I’d grab Profar in every league. Yes, even yours. My guess is he will hit. My 2nd guess is C. Always guess C. That advice can get you into an Ivy League school. I didn’t go to one, ergo, henceforth, vis-à-vis, I had to Google whether or not Ivy League was capitalized. If he hits, Profar could be here to stay with the Rangers saying, “Yo, Profar is hitting so let’s keep him and move Kinsler to the outfield. Or just put a “Hockey sucks” t-shirt on Andrus and drop him off in Winnipeg.” If Profar doesn’t hit, he’ll be sent back down and no one will need to go to Winnipeg. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Yovani Gallardo was arrested for a DUI. So that explains why his pitches are all over the place! He blew a 0.22. That’s six-plus runs better than his ERA. Gallardo’s mugshot looks like a still from a PSA. “More than 79% of Americans feel the most significant social problem facing America is the physical absence of a decent 1st baseman.” “I’m Yovani, and our 1st baseman is Alex Gonzalez some days. Other days, it’s Yuniesky Betancourt. Please stop this needless crime against run support.” I wonder if he was driving home from the Miller Brewery tour, because it’s awesome, but, man, you should not drive after that. “If I draw a mouth on my forehead and stand upside down, then I’d have two mustaches.” That’s me towards the tail end of the Miller tour. Well, Yovani does pitch for the Brewers. What did you expect? Guess we should be happy he doesn’t pitch for the Crack Rockies. For fantasy baseball, this doesn’t mean much. Pray Gallardo returns from a DUI as successfully as Miguel Cabrera. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I got the sense from comments and other non-scientific criteria that people were looking to get a feel for Trevor Bauer.  Or at least get their grubby little hands on him.  I did say to buy him back in April and again in May, but who can remember that far; I can barely remember how this sentence started.  With a preposition?  I don’t know, let’s forget the whole thing and have a pina colada!  What, you don’t like coladas?  How about dancing in the rain?  Not into YoGa?  Yeah, his ERA is shizz.  Let’s see what Scott, our prospect writer (his actual last name), said in the past about Bauer, “Bauer profiles as a top-of-the-rotation starter with an upper 90s fastball and a devastating curve.  But all I keep thinking about is what Grey would taste like slathered in teriyaki sauce.”  Huh?  Not sure how that slipped through my strict editorial process.  In the past, I said about Trevor, “Bauer & Skaggs opened for Big & Rich.”  Well, that wasn’t the best quote from me.  Shoot me!  Now, you just shot your computer screen.  You’re silly!  On our preseason top 25 fantasy baseball prospect post, the only pitchers above him were Moore and Darvish.  Okay, Moore’s had some struggles, but those two names give you an idea of how valuable Bauer could be.  He’s blown through the minors about as good as anyone.  Right now, he’s sporting a 11+ K-rate and a low-2 ERA between Double and Triple-A.  The only concern for him is his walk rate (over 4), but he has the Ks to make up for it.  He looks like the pitching version of the hitters the Diamondhacks are famous for.  High Ks, crazy upside, might call crap on a table a Pu-Pu platter.  In 2012, I’ll give him the line of 7-5/3.60/1.30/100 in 90 innings, but there’s obviously room for huge upside (and risk of some downside (though the Ks will be good (how many parentheses am I inside of here (Anyone?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Washington Nationals 2011 Minor League Review

Organizational Talent Rankings via Baseball America:

2011 (14) | 2010 (24) | 2009 (21) | 2008 (10) | 2007 (30) | 2006 (24)

2011 Affiliate Records

MLB: [80-81] NL East

AAA: [66-74] International League – Syracuse

AA: [80-62] Eastern League – Harrisburg

A+: [68-71] Carolina League – Potomac

A: [75-64] South Atlantic League – Hagerstown

A(ss): [45-30] New York-Penn League – Auburn

The Run Down

There would’ve been a few more guys to discuss here, had the Nationals not gutted their system in acquiring Gio Gonzalez.  Their top two pitching prospects (Brad Peacock & A.J.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Milwaukee Brewers promoted the 24-year-old, unranked third baseman Taylor Green. Has a solid swing, controls strike zone and make consistent sound contact, power is average at best. Defensively is where he stands out, showing above-average skill. This year at Triple-A (Pacific Coast League) he has a dominant slash line .336/.413/.583 in 420 at-bats with 59 XBH (22 Hr) and a 72:55 K:BB ratio.

Please, blog, may I have some more?