Matt Adams was acquired by the Braves for Juan Yepez, who was always a little too excitable for the Braves — Yepez!  See?  Not a good look.  It was a tearful exit from the Cardinals’ clubhouse for Adams.  His emotions hit a crescendo when he realized he couldn’t carry out all the food he had accumulated in the clubhouse refrigerator.  Through tears, “Why didn’t I learn to balance soda on my head like I was Jamaican?”  Hey, mon, they have grape soda in Atlanta.  Adams will be the 1st baseman in Atlanta until Freeman returns, while conceding to Loney on occasion, assuming Adams doesn’t try to eat him, “I thought his jersey read Baloney!  I’m a terrible person!”  Adams gets a boost in value, but mostly just for NL-Only and very deep leagues.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday was a bad day to quit being young with A.J. Pollock and Carlos Gomez both hitting the DL.  Together!  In a non-gay way.  But it would’ve been totally cool with me if it was in a gay way.  Let’s start with Pollock since he is the less ethnically sensitive of the two.  Pollock has a Grade 1 groin strain.  When the strain happened, Pollock was reading Groin Strains for Dummies.  Chapter 1:  Don’t Move Your Leg In A Normal Manner.  “Go to a trampoline, but don’t jump on it with your feet, fall on it sitting criss-cross apple sauce.”  Pollock will likely be out for two to three weeks, and in his place the Russian Game of Thrones character, Gregor Blanco, and Reymond “You Can’t Not Think Of Daisy” Fuentes.  Fuentes is the more interesting of two, since he should be on the stronger side of a platoon, and has speed.  Outside of NL-Only and deep mixed leagues, I’m passing on both.  As for CarGomez, he will miss four to six weeks.  That’s too bad, he used to be good three years ago.  Replacing him on the roster will be Jared Hoying, who looks like a Motter-fodder.  Then, we have Carlos Carrasco, who is affectionately known as Cookie, and I am a Cookie Monster for him, so this one hurts me.  In yesterday’s game, Carrasco had a huge lead, when he squandered that and left the game with a trainer.  All you had to do with cruise to the W on the Ivictory Coast!  Apparently, that’s the way the Cookie crumbles.  He was diagnosed with left pectoral tightness, which doesn’t sound bad.  Which, Part 2:  The Return of the Which, will still likely mean a DL stint.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

This is getting out of hand! If you follow me on Twitter, you’ve seen my share my process of how I keep track of which players are getting mentioned in injury reports. By the end of Thursday night there were 25 players listed in my Google Doc. Luckily for them (and me) some have returned to play since they were first mentioned as possibly being injured.

Normally I am not someone who would recommend changing your league’s rules mid-season, but due to this new 10-day disabled list we are seeing a lot more players being placed on the DL. You might want to talk to your league commissioner and other owners about having an emergency vote about adding 1 more DL-spot to your rosters if at all possible.

As always, if you’ve got any questions regarding injuries that are specific to your league — please drop a comment below and I’ll get back to you within 24 hours!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

“The top prospect of 2013 is Byron Buxton.  Anyone that says anything different– What’s that, you like Jurickson Profar?  Damn, he’s good too!  Okay, Profar, Buxton and maybe Travis d’Arnaud– What?  Reid Brignac?  Oh, man, you got me!  Wanna play Dominion?  No, I didn’t hide any Victory cards under my couch cushion again!”  That’s Keith Law talking to his buddies over a Coq au vin.  One name they didn’t mention back in 2013 was Tim Beckham, because he was more of a 2009 prospect stud.  That was the same year, Keith Law said, “Matt Wieters will be as good as Yogi Berra, and when I get out of my Prius and shut off this Dizzee Rascal, I will tell you why.  Talking and driving is very dangerous, especially since I’m wearing Crocs.”  Tim Beckham had it all, and the Rays produced all those can’t miss prospects.  Unfortunately, they became ‘can miss’ and Beckham faded to obscurity.  Here we are in 2017 (*checks calendar*  Yup!), and Beckham is only 27 years old and breaking out a little bit.  Yesterday, he went 2-for-4, 4 RBIs with two homers (5, 6) as he hits .278.  He still strikes out too much (33%), and he has more ‘okay’ power and speed, than blazing speed or huge pop, but, for an MI, I think you do worse.  Orlando Arcia, for unstints.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Halleberryloujah!  *does sign of the Marlins, kneels*  Blessed be thy lord of a Technicolor unicorn statue who graced his tight baseball pants around Giancarlo’s lower half.  I won’t take too much of your time, I know you are prolly busy.  Should I say probably when I’m addressing you?  You know, I’m gonna move on rather than wait for an answer.  I want to thank you for bringing Giancarlo Stanton into the 2017 season.  I saw him in a game last week back off a changeup like he was still scared after taking the beanball off the melon.  Was he scared?  If he was, I wouldn’t have blamed him.  I get scared too.  Like when my wife says, “Hey, Grey I made plans for us to go out with my friend and her husband.”  That scares me too.  But now that he hit two homers, going 2-for-3 with 4 RBIs, I’m relieved.  It was early, he was just getting into the swing things.  Pun!  What?  You don’t like puns?  Again, I’m fine not waiting for an answer.  Okay, now I’m going to cut this short because a sprinkler is going off into my face and I’m kneeling on my neighbor’s lawn.  Thank you.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I feel like I could list every Boston Red Sox player in my post this week. A bunch of their players came down with the flu, even the untouchable Andrew Benintendi, who apparently threw-up in the dugout during a game this week. He might’ve ralphed due to hearing about his .174 AVG so far though. Relax everyone, he’s 14-years-old and we’re only in Week 2. Don’t overreact! However, if you happen to visit Fenway this week for their games — make sure to wash your hands well, seal up your plastic bubble boy suit and keep away from patient zero (probably Dustin Pedroia — he seems like the superstitious type to not wash during the season for luck).

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I wonder if Freddie Freeman has Fletch-like dreams where he pictures himself with a huge afro and his name is Freddie World B. Freeman.  “He’s actually 6-5, with the afro, 6-9.  Pretty good hands, loves to hit ones deep.  His club is behind by three, and World B. Freeman drains a three-run homer!  Wow, was that some kind of hit.  You know this kid from the gritty streets of Orange County, California sure can play.”  By the way, gritty in Orange County refers to a Sonic Drive-In that has a B grade from the Health Department.  So, yesterday, Freeman put up those stats that I told you to pay a 2nd round price for — 4-for-5, 3 runs, and a double slam (1, 2) and legs (1), hitting .346 on the year.  I was truly perplexed how low I saw some people ranking Freeman in the preseason.  If anything, I think a stronger case could’ve been made to have Freeman ranked above Miggy, who was a consensus top 12 pick everywhere.  Guess Freeman could use the name Mr. Under-ranked when he sneaks into country clubs to visit Dansby Swanson (1-for-5, 1st homer, hitting .179).  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yaisel Puig‘s home runs are so effortless they’re like Billie Jean King and Billy Dee Williams only needing to say, “40-love?” to hook up with a girl in the 70s.

Somewhere, Ashton Kutcher is struggling to come off as smart.  He is exerting more energy than Yasiel Puig on his home runs.  When Yasiel Puig is in El Zono Loco, pitchers should be chicken.  When Puig is locked in, he looks as good as all the Cuban graphic novels that were written about him in Fidelphia.  Of course, just as quickly as Puig gets everyone’s hopes up, he collapses under his own hype.  He’s a (ba)con artist?  I’d absolutely own Puig right now that he has three homers in two games (2-for-3, 3 runs, 4 RBIs and a double slam (3) and legs (1) yesterday), but I wouldn’t be surprised if by May he’s back to disappointing.  (By the way, the pitch speed on that homer is 78 MPH.  HAHAHAHAHAHA– Oh my God, I can’t breathe!  Member that old timey film of Bob Feller throwing faster than a speeding motorcycle?  They should have Weaver go against a speed-walking senior citizen.)  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Somewhere, Melissa Leo is acting out today’s title and it’s so spot on you’re not sure if you should applaud, or put your wallet in the front pocket.  “I came straight from the packie because I heard you were having a sale on shamrock undergarments.  Are you having a shamrock undergarment sale or not?”  That’s Melissa Leo acting out the title.  Okay, okay, okay, guys and six girl readers and one girl writer. (She debuted yesterday; is there a female verb for that?  She debutante’d yesterday?  She debbie’d yesterday?  She damsel’d yesterday?  I’m asking, don’t roll your eyes at me like I’m a moron; I’ve had enough of that!)  Chris Sale looked great yesterday (7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks), but you knew he was going to look great.  You didn’t draft him in the first three rounds for him to look like hot garbage under Pablo Sandoval’s ass.  Or, rather, you didn’t not draft him in the first three rounds because I told you not to.  But you know who looked as good in Fenway?  Jameson Taillon (7 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks).  He doesn’t miss a huge number of bats — will average around 7.7 K/9 — but his control is masterful.  He will have around a 1.7 BB/9, if not lower.  When a guy has a difference of six between his K/9 and BB/9 great things can happen, and Taillon will be no different.  I’m not sure if he’ll get all the way to 190+ IP this year, but he had a 3.38 ERA last year, and I’m ready for around the same this year, if not better.  Like Melissa Leo would say, “This guy is fahkin spacktackulure.”  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

After fourteen drafts/auctions I am finally done selecting players. It was a long (and tiring) stretch of two weeks, but I don’t regret one thing. Although give me a few more days of watching my pitchers get knocked around and I might have a change of heart. The aforementioned drafts consisted of four points league auctions, one points league snake draft, five various mock drafts with the fantasy baseball gurus over at CBS, and four Razzball Commentator Leagues, concluding with the Razzball Experts league. Towards the end, my selections almost began to feel robotic. Something akin to a human auto-drafter. And while we’re discussing auto-drafting, I’d like to announce that I hate auto-drafters. Not the actual person, but the act of auto-drafting. Unless you’ve actually taken the time to legitimately rank your players, your presence (or lack there of) at our draft annoys me. And if you end up with two or more catchers or a handful of middle relievers/closers I’m talking about you.

Of all the drafts/auctions I participated in the one I’d like to discuss is the experts points league auction for the league known as The Points League. I’ve accepted that points leagues are the red-headed step child of fantasy baseball, but the bottom line is that many do play the format. Despite this fact most “experts” refuse to give points leagues much, if any, attention. And if they are in a points leagues, they generally don’t publicize as much. I bet the number of closet points league players is staggering. It’s 2017 people, you can come out of the closet.

A few weeks back I decided I was going to attempt to organize an experts points leagues by inviting some very smart, and mostly respected, fantasy baseball analysts/writers from across the online world of fantasy baseball. When all was said and done, and the league was filled, here are the fierce competitors vying to be the champion of The Points League:

Please, blog, may I have some more?