Fantasy Baseball Advice

As Stephen Drew tried to take that step forward in 2009 that fantasy baseball owners craved, he hurt his hamstring.  Wonder what a Drew family vacation is like… “J.D., you wanna go see the world’s largest bottle cap?  It’s supposedly 17 inches in circumference!” “Sure, I’ll go tell Mom and Pop.”  On the way to the Sequoia, two hamstring pulls, a fractured hip and the Mom needs Tommy John surgery.  Pretty sure no one’s giving them joint family coverage.  The MDs in AZ say Drew’s injury shouldn’t knock him out longer than the 15 days.  When you consider he hadn’t even started to hit yet, looks like Drew’ll begin his season mid-May.  All in all, this is a decent buy low guy right now.  If you can trade some spare parts for him (closer-du-jour, extra OF, etc.), he should prove worth stashing.  He’s still talented and he can have a solid three-quarters of a season.  Hopefully, he spent the first quarter on someone else’s team.  Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday for fantasy baseball:

Brandon Webb – Earliest return date is late-May.  Still a long season so you can’t really sell him short, but with the trouble coming in his right shoulder, I’d be worried this doesn’t become a worst situation before it gets better.

Brian McCann – Headed for Lasik with eye problems.  Maybe he said fudge and Cox made him suck on some soap.  David Ross is filling in for him on the Braves and he hit a HR yesterday.  Ross actually isn’t an awful replacement for fantasy owners either.  You might get some pop and his killer average shouldn’t hurt for only two weeks.  It matters how deep your league is, but I’d also look at Salty, Hundley, Shoppach and Laird, in that order.

Chris Getz – Headed to the DL.  I know what you’re thinking, Gordon Beckham gets his chance!  Yeah, but what matters is what Ozzie Guillen’s thinking.  Ozzie’s thinking Brent Lillibridge and Jayson Nix.  I know what you’re thinking now, what’s Ozzie thinking?!

Jake Peavy – 5 IP, 5 ER.  I know this is no in-depth observation, but he just doesn’t look right.  This is very sad for me.  He’s given up way too many home runs and walks.  I wouldn’t sell him short because he can go on a ten game run where he’s unhittable… Or at least I hope he does.

Justin Upton – HRs in back-to-back games in between numerous flailings at breaking pitches (Jaboo strikes again).  At this point, he should just change his last name to Upside.  Because that’s both his allure and the reason he’s overvalued in every non-keeper league.

Mark Reynolds – 5th homer yesterday.  Guess who else hit his 5th homer yesterday?  Davis.  We got ourselves a hot one, America!

Conor Jackson – 2-for-6.  Got the game winning hit yesterday, which means poopie-squat for fantasy, but it might be the confidence builder he needs.

Cameron Maybin – 0-for-5, batting .189 on the season.   Sleeper pick went comatose the first month of the season.  I’m ready to pull the plug in 12 team leagues.  Potential replacements are Spillborghs, Kubel, Cody Ross, Teahen or Juan Rivera, obviously depends on what is out there.

Clayton Kershaw – 4 2/3, 9 ER.  Walk, tried to get ahead of a hitter resulting in a home run… Rinse and repeat.  From an absolute gem against the Giants where he K’d 13 to back-to-back beatings. He’s too good/erratic to bench.  If you bench him, you’ll miss a gem.

Adam LaRoche – 2 HRs, bringing his season total to 5.  Guess all it took was being on the same team as his little brother, Andy.  (Why haven’t the Yanks signed Mark Teixeira’s little brother to get him off his typical slow start?   Like Cody Ransom or Angel Berroa are better?)  Maybe now he’s a 2nd half of April hitter.  His upside still seems like Jorge Cantu… And his downside too.

Jarrod Saltalamacchia – 7-for-13 this weekend.  As I said last week, I was giving him one more week.  This was the kind of weekend I was looking for.  He’s earned a bit longer leash.

Kenshin Kawakami – It’s 4 starts now and the control (11 BB in 21.2 IP) + gopheritis (5 in 4 games) has us thinking Atlanta signed some 1/2 price sushi.  The K’s are intriguing but he has to be downgraded to matchup starter vs. start every game.

Manny Parra – 5 IP, 1 ER.  Hey, I’m a fan, but frankly this could’ve been a five earned game just as easily.

Jose Valverde – Got the save but was noticeably limping.  Cuddle Boy, Hawkins should be held for now.

Andy Sonnanstine – 4 IP, 7 ER.  The A’s whooped that trick.

B.J. Upton – 0-for-4, .156 on the season.  While J. Up is all upside, B. Up is not this bad.

Justin Masterson – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER.  Keeping walks down and Ks up.  Hopefully, Dice-K doesn’t take the bullet train back.

Pablo Sandoval - 4-for-4, HR, now batting .292.  Hope everyone held out hope where he was eligible at catcher.  He’s stocky (read: fat) but doesn’t have that much power.  My preseason projections gave him 14 homers and a .300 average.  Still sounds about right.

Jered Weaver – 7 shutout innings leaves him at 2-1 with good ERA, WHIP, solid K rate (almost 8 per 9 IP) and, most importantly, he’s not another Angel pitcher with a broken wing.  Only owned in 87% of ESPN leagues.  Seems to be underrated – maybe because of his brother?

Jordan Zimmermann – 5 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 5 Ks.  No weepstakes here so far.  Very impressive start against the Mets.  He won’t obviously stay below a 3 ERA, but while teams try to figure him out, he could coast to a solid 1st half.

Jarrod Washburn – 5 1/3 IP, 6 ER. Looks like someone let my Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell get in their head.

Joakim Soria & Brandon Morrow – Both have sore shoulders that – for now – are just day-to-day.  (Soria + Morrow = Sorrow?)  Morrow seems ready to go for next game where Soria might be due back middle of next week.  Might be worth playing Aardsma and Juan Cruz in deep leagues or if you need saves.

Derrek Lee – Removed because of neck spasms.  When you’re batting .197, you’re snapping your neck from the pitcher to the catcher a lot.

Ross Ohlendorf – Outdueled Peavy to go to 2-2 with a 3.24 ERA.  We really want to root for a guy with such a fun last name to say but his crazy low K rate (10 K in 25 IP) hints at a pitcher who’ll get flogged sooner vs. later and often vs. seldom.

Aaron Laffey – Won his 2nd game this week since being called up from the minors.  He’s far from a K guy but he is throwing a lot of ground balls right now.  Consider him for spot starts but he’s more likely to earn a full-time spot this year on a Razzball staff right now vs. a real fantasy baseball staff (real fantasy baseball staff – is that an oxymoron?)

Armando Galarraga – Now at 3-0 with a 1.85 ERA.  Guess the fact we named him #1 most risky pitcher motivated him or something.  He’s K-ing nearly a guy an inning which is above last years 6.35/9 IP rate.  We haven’t flipped positions on him just yet but getting there.

Shawn Hill – To the 15-day DL.  Hmm… maybe he’s part Drew?

Chris Ray – Sherrill won’t see saves in back-to-back games according to the O’s.  Then again, according to the O’s they have a major league pitching staff.

Adam Jones – 3-for-4, HR and 1st steal of the year.  The steals will come and the power will continue.  He’s not a sell candidate, unless you’re against Prop 420.

Alas, for now the Rays are Price-less.  (To recall a conversation I once had with my grandmother after she threw out my 1986 Sportsflic Jose Canseco rookie card, “That card was priceless!”  “Yeah, because it wasn’t worth shit.”)  Frankly, I’m surprised the Rays sent David Price down.  I thought he would start in the bullpen then get starts by the end of April/beginning of May, accumulating 150 innings.  Jason Hammel and Niemann! are far from reliable guys for a team that is supposed to be in the AL East race, but I underestimated the Rays’ thriftiness.  Why are we serving Gulden’s when French’s is twenty-seven cents cheaper?! In the comments on the 2009 Rays fantasy baseball preview, Rudy said I was being too optimistic.  Looks like I was.  Guess that’s why I rock a ’stache and Rudy has the much more with-it ‘fro.  I’d hold Price in 10 team mixed leagues and deeper.  My prediction is we see Price by mid-May in the majors and he makes a fantasy impact for his patient owners.  If patience is the key, then show me the lock.  Anyway, here’s what else has been going on in spring training for fantasy baseball:

Matt Wieters – I’ve been saying all along that he’s headed to the minors.  So one out of two ain’t bad.  Wieters will be flying into Norfolk International Airport sometime on Monday night.  Looks like another financial decision.  He should be back with the club by mid-May.  If you drafted him, you have to wait on him.  Well, I mean you don’t have to, but what was the point otherwise.  When Gregg Zaun heard the news, he should have had this to say, “If getting demoted so I can start doesn’t kick you in the pants, nothing will.”

Daniel Murphy – I’ve been too lax in mentioning this guy.  Word out of the foothills of St. Lucie is Murphy is batting 2nd.  This is great news for a guy who rocks a solid OBP.  He could be the Mets answer to Kelly Johnson.  It’s more attractive at 2nd base, but there’s a place on some teams for that in the outfield.

Ervin Santana – Rudy told you 20 risky pitchers.  Ervin was one.  You didn’t wanna believe it.  It’s the ‘fro, yo!  (Easy, TCBY.  That’s not fro-yo.)

Shawn Hill – Someone in the comments nicknamed him Baby Webb.  I have no idea why, but Baby Webb is now on the Padres.  Um, a pitcher I like pitching in Petco?  Give me a pen and show me the X.

Kelvim Escobar – He made Rudy’s bounceback pitchers post.  He says you’re welcome.

Tommy Hanson – Maybe he’ll be back in September.  Cut him outside of keepers.

Rafael Soriano – Going to the DL.  In other news, Chipper’s probably hurt too.

Carlos Marmol/Kevin Gregg – Lou will decide this weekend if the Cubs want to begin the year by giving up runs in the eighth or the ninth.

Todd Helton – Retire for the sake of the Rockies.

John Lackey – Forearm tightness.  This is almost as surprising as the Soriano injury.  I’d never expect more than 25 starts from Lackey.

Justin Duchscherer – To start season on the DL?  No way! *Grey turns off faux shock*

Chris Davis – In spring, hitting bombs, striking out and taking names.  And that’s what you should expect in the season, too.

Anderson Hernandez – Hurt.  You can’t keep Ronnie Belliard down!

Felipe Lopez – Going to be leading off and he wants to steal a lot of bases.  He’s already stolen 44 in a season.  He’s eligible all over.  I’m thinking of taking him 13 times in my next draft.

David Aardsma – I suppose he could win the closer job in Seattle, but… David Aardsma?  Eh.

Ryan Braun – He’s hurting right now.  He’s not saying anything because he’s a gamer, but he’s unable to swing a bat.  Frankly, I’m a bit worried.  It was one thing for him to have issues last September, but now they’re returning in April.  I’d still draft him in the first round, but I’d expect a slow start.

Scott Lewis – Him and Anthony Reyes might deserve their own posts, but they’re not getting them just yet.  Scott Lewis doesn’t have overpowering stuff, but then he put up numbers in the minors like he does.  I’d prefer a NL fifth starter (think: Randy Wolf) over a guy with a mid-80s fastball pitching in the AL.  Oh, and he gives up flyballs.  Pass.

Anthony Reyes – I’m a bit of a sucker for a failed prospect making good on old promises (See continuing admiration for Alex Gordon).  Don’t even get me started with my love for guys that iron their hat brim.  So it comes with little shock, I like Reyes.  I like him more than the aforementioned Lewis.  Again, I prefer to go NL in mixed leagues when this deep into starters and I wouldn’t own Reyes in a ten team league yet, but he has good stuff.  He’s an injury risk so don’t pay too much.  Actually, don’t pay anything for either of these guys.  You should be dropping lame bench hitters to take a chance on Reyes.  I see Ryan Church.  I dump Ryan Church for Anthony Reyes.

Micah Owings – You never know how these things turn out.  Fifth starter on the Reds emerges?  Could be.  I’d own him before two other Reds starters.

George Sherrill – He’s choking on turkey bones so far this spring and this year he has Chris Ray to step in and resume closer duties.  Chris Ray may be getting saves as soon as mid-April.

Brian Fuentes – Every year some closers come out of nowhere and erase any faith we had in them coming into the year.  I think this year is Fuentes’s.  His velocity is way down because of a bad back.  Bad backs linger and velocity issues don’t just go away.  With two quality replacements behind him, I think if you own Fuentes, you might want to start making other plans.

Dallas McPherson – Punt.

Adam Jones – Ty Wigginton, “Dude, you totally bogarted my whole box of Twinkies!”  Adam Jones, “Mea culpa, my man.  I was out stealing bags and hitting home runs this spring, and every time I looked up I would see Felix and Adam and I kept reading Pie Eaton.”

You know what burns me up?  Fire? Yes, random italicized voice, but something else too.  Three weeks ago, ESPN threw out trash like this, “Hamels could be one of the top-5 starters in most leagues now that questions about his durability and moxie have passed. Invest with confidence.”  Three weeks ago?!  Now, today they say, “Given (Hamels’s) injury history and the combination of an increased workload and long season, Hamels has a significant amount of risk when you consider his lofty place among the elite starting pitchers on the draft board this spring.”  That’s so annoying.  Almost as annoying as Bud Selig now getting upset at people who took steroids.  Like you didn’t know, Bud.  C’mon!  The other day I talked with Rudy — we talk, ya’ll! — and I was saying to him there’s one pitcher I probably won’t own this year.  That’s Cole Hamels.  The innings increase worried me.  The K/9 dropping in 2008 had me a bit buggered.  I liked that he gave up less home runs, but it wasn’t enough.  I wouldn’t own him.  On February 1st, I said, “(Even considering the good things about Hamels, it) does not mean he’ll be on any of my teams in 2009.”  In my top 100 post, I wrote, “Even Philly phans are worried about the extra innings. “  And that’s me quoting and quoting and linking to myself!  Now there’s word of Hamels having a sore elbow.  This is bad news.  I can’t stress this enough.  Okay, maybe I could’ve cap that last sentence, but you don’t need me to yell at you, do you?  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in spring training for fantasy baseball:

J.R. Towles – There goes that opp.  Pudge signed a one year deal with the Astros.  Wait, what about Humberto Something Or Other?!  He had a future, I tell ya.

Ivan Rodriguez – Do all the kids out there know Pudge isn’t meant to be an ironic nickname?  Just because the Astros signed this schmohawk doesn’t mean you should.  Ever.  He’s C to the Rap.

Ryan Braun – Same injury that slowed in September has returned.  I think he’ll be fine, but it’s enough to knock him below Miggy and Sizemore on your draft sheets.  Wait, I already him after them on my top 100.  Hey, I’m a fortune teller!

Manny Ramirez – Aggravating his hamstring while aggravating his owners.  He’ll play fine when he wants to.  Read:  July, it has a great ending.

Matt Lindstrom – Seriously, get on the Leo Nunez bandwagon before someone else does.  You think this is nothing, but you thought it was nothing when Jon Rauch replaced Chad Cordero last year.

Justin Duchscherer – Let’s see if we got this right, Dooksheer is hurt?  No way!  I think he might start 5 games all year.  I’m not exaggerating.  I said this more or less over a month ago in the top 60 starters post.  Berry might have ESPN, but I got ESP.  Natch!

Vernon Wells – Good ol’ VW thinks he’ll be ready on Opening Day.  Here’s what he’ll say sometime around May 15th, “It’s just a mild strain.  I’ll be back in 15 days.”  Here’s what he’ll say two weeks after that, “It’s not healing how I would’ve hoped.  I think I should be back by the All-Star Break.”  After the All-Star Break, Ricciardi goes on record with, “We hope to have Vernon back by August.”  In August, Vernon returns for a final solid month before pulling his oblique.

Joey Devine – Devine’s nursing something… Not a baby giraffe from what I can gather.  Brad Ziegler seems to have this locked up for Opening Day.

Huston Street/Manny Corpas – It may come down to the final days to decide the closer.  I think Corpas ends up with more saves on the year because Street will get injured even if he secures the job.  In other news, Billy Beane has some AIG stock he’s trying to unload.

Jeff Samardzija – He’s done with that whole starting business.  Until Harden gets hurt.  May!  On the for realz, I wouldn’t own Samardzija in any league.  Not right now at least.

Shawn Hill – Like a two year old’s poo, Hill’s looking solid so far.  I’m telling you, if he can stay healthy he could be a huge sleeper.  But you do what you do.  What, I’m gonna beg?  Nah, Charlie.  Not me.

In our 2009 fantasy baseball rankings, we’ve gone to the top 60 starters and top 60 outfielders thus far.  But since it’s advisable by me and everyone else that has every wielded a fantasy baseball quill to draft pitching late, I figured I needed to give you twenty or so more to bring the tally to the top 80.  There will be a top 80 outfielder post too.  Christmas came late, ya’ll!  In mixed leagues, if I’m drafting this late and I have a choice between an NL pitcher and an AL pitcher, I’d prefer to go for the NL pitcher.  They pitch to other pitchers and mostly weaker offenses.  That is a post in itself.  Also, a lot of these pitchers (and others which will be highlighted during the season) will be smart pickups for some match-ups but aren’t worth starting every game unless they get on a roll.  Anyway, here’s the top 80 starters for 2009 fantasy baseball:

61. Manny Parra – This is the first tier of the top 80 starters.  This tier goes from here to Smoltz.  I call this tier, “Major issues with all of these pitchers, but I’ll still be looking at them late in deep leagues.”  Parra will have a sleeper post dedicated to him.  Promise.  See, the thing is, I likey Parra.  Like likey likey.  Though, at times last year, his walks were A to the trocious.  2009 Projections:  11-9/4.10/1.40/160

62. Gil Meche – Meche has been below a 4.00 ERA for two straight years.  Last year, he posted nearly 8 strikeouts per nine innings.  His FIP was 3.61 last year.  Still not convinced?  Neither am I.  Though it’s hard to argue with him as an AL-Only option.  2009 Projections:  12-10/4.00/1.33/160

63. Bronson Arroyo – Great guy to have in leagues with an innings category or a bad guitar players category.  2009 Projections: 12-10/4.25/1.40/150

64. Kenshin Kawakami – Went over him when he signed with the Braves.  2009 Projections:  12-8/4.35/1.40/120

65. Chris Volstad – With a douchey name like he’s a character in a Bret Easton Ellis book, you’d think he’d strikeout more hitters.  If his K/9 wasn’t so bleh, I’d like him more.  2009 Projections:  10-7/4.00/1.30/110

66. Randy Johnson – Son, Randy Johnson’s got acne craters older and bigger than you.   He could be a great steal late in drafts as long as you only expect 15 starts.  2009 Projections:  7-4/3.50/1.20/90 in 15 starts

67. Dave Bush – You could draft him and only start him at home (3.82 career ERA) like the Brewers did at times last year.  His low WHIP always makes him a worthwhile gamble and incongruous with his ERA.  2009 Projections: 10-10/4.20/1.18/120

68. Paul Maholm – Last year, Maholm really broke out.  And, when talking about the Pirates, a breakout is considered a low 4.00 ERA.  2009 Projections: 10-8/4.10/1.25/150

69. Aaron Cook – Jon Garland with a better ERA.  That’s about the best compliment I can… *pinkie to mouth* cook up.  2009 Projections:  12-8/4.00/1.36/90

70. Edwin Jackson – For about three years, I’ve waited patiently for Jackson to turn the corner from Prospect Ave.  Right now, he seems headed to Journeyman Lane, but he’s still young.  2009 Projections:  11-9/4.50/1.50/120

71. John Smoltz – Went over Smoltz when he signed with the Sawx. 2009 Projections:  5-2/3.00/1.16/60 in 12 starts.

72. Jesse Litsch – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here to Lannan.  I call this tier, “I’m not drafting any of these guys under any conditions.”  Litsch is the Blue Jays number two starter.  Something tells me they’re not going to be competitive this year either.  Litsch can also be found at the top 20 risky pitchers for 2009 post.  2009 Projections:  5-7/4.50/1.30/55 in 20 starts.

73. Todd Wellemeyer – A thirty-year-old breakout? Whatevermeyer.  2009 Projections:  6-8/4.75/1.35 in 20 starts.

74. Rich Hill – Match Game Host, Gene Rayburn, “Last year, Rich Hill was really bad.” Studio Audience, “How bad was he?”  Gene, “He was so bad he ____.”  Went over him further when the O’s got him.  2009 Projections:  4-5/4.75/1.45/60 in fifteen starts.

75. Joe Blanton – Too bad he’s not a lousy pitcher and injury-prone so Carrasco could slide in.  2009 Projections:  12-10/4.75/1.40/110

76. Pedro Martinez – Wasn’t that long ago he was carrying around a good luck dwarf and celebrating a championship.  Now that dwarf is doing better than Pedro’s career.  2009 Projections:  6-7/4.70/1.50/80 in 20 starts.

77. Nick Blackburn – Very little to see here.  2009 Projections:  10-8/4.30/1.34/85

78. Jon Garland -I didn’t go over him when he went to the Diamondbacks, because there’s not much to say.  He’s a much better real world pitcher, racking up innings, than a fantasy pitcher.  He didn’t get 100 Ks last year in 197.2 innings.  Bleh!  2009 Projections:  12-10/4.75/1.42/95

79. John Lannan – Don’t you dare draft him.   He will suck your soul and crush your girl-like emotions.  2009 Projections: 6-9/5.00/1.44/80

80. Brad Penny – This is the last tier.  This tier goes from here to Shawn Hill.  I call this tier, “You can do much worse very late in deep leagues.”  If you throw out Penny’s season last year, where he looked miserable and hurt, he would be coming off a 16-4/3.03/1.31 season in 208 innings.  If healthy, he could be a steal late.  2009 Projections:  14-10/4.00/1.30/130

81. Aaron Heilman – Went over him when Heilman was traded — the 2nd time.  2009 Projections:  9-4/4.00/1.15/120 in 20 starts.

After the top 80 starters for 2009 fantasy baseball, there’s a lot of names, but these three stand out:

Carlos Carrasco – Went over him in the Carrasco keeper post.  Big things, I tell ya.  Big…. Things.  Not sure if he sees time out of the gate, but watch him if a Phillies pitcher gets injured.  2009 Projections:  5-2/3.00/1.32/60 in ten starts.

Mark Buehrle – He’s not flashy with those Big City Ks. You probably won’t want to own him. But for the better part of two years, I’ve owned him off and on. He’s usually good for a few ‘worth-owning’ streaks a year. 2009 Projections: 13-10/4.00/1.35/120

Shawn Hill – Usually I end the lists with an exciting name.  But, guess what?  We’re almost 100 deep into the starters so exciting was barfed into an airplane toilet about six tiers ago and flushed out somewhere over Guatemala.  Word is Shawn Hill will be healthy for the 2009 season, but keep your expectations in check because he’s never been healthy in his career.  Then again, you probably have no expectations of Shawn Hill.  In NL-Only leagues, I’d take a very late flier on Hill.  2009 Projections:  8-6/4.10/1.26/110 in 20 starts.

Josh Hamilton left yesterday’s game with a sore knee. Well, you knew the injury was coming at some point. The good news is he didn’t leave immediately so it couldn’t have been too bad, right? Um, yeah, hopefully. The bad news, he’s a recovering drug addict and as we all learned from Dylan McKay’s battle with drugs on 90210, addicts can’t take pain killers. This banged up knee should serve as a reminder to all of Hamilton’s fantasy baseball owners. He’s not only injury-prone, he doesn’t bounce back that quickly. Maybe it was the years of huffing? Maybe he sold his soul for a bag of rocks? Who knows. But at some point you might lose Hamilton to a more serious injury, don’t rely on him for everything. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Dave Bush – 7 IP, 1 ER. All he does is pitch quality starts!… Actually that’s a complete lie. He had about two years in there where he was unusable. I’m still not going anywhere near him.

A.J. Burnett – Pitched well, but I imagine a quick ten runs of support is psychologically similar to when I drink Tequila. “My bad, officer, I had no idea roof surfing like Teen Wolf was illegal.”

Jay Bruce – Batting seventh last night. Gotta love rookies, right? Well, I told you to sell high on May 31st and, if that didn’t convince you, Karabell told you Bruce would be this year’s Braun.

Alexis Rios – Hit a home run against Arroyo. (Then again Arroyo gave up ten runs in one inning to the Blue Jays. An extremely hard thing to do.)

Reed Johnson – Hit the 15-day DL retroactive to June 18th. This gives Little Patterson a bit of breathing room. Gotta look at Eric Patterson in deep leagues, if you can get past his striking (out) resemblance to Corey).

Ramon Hernandez – Has hit in 6 in the row, 9 out of 10. If you can remember back to March, Ramon (that’s Nomar backwards!) was on a lot of ‘perts’ lists as a sleeper. Well, he’s now getting hot. I don’t think Hernandez is done; I also wouldn’t drop Doumit or better for him.

Mark Buehrle - 1 ER in 8 IP. I spot started Buehrle on one team that lost Wainwright. Worked out okay. I may not start him again, but I felt better about it than last week’s Oliver Perez spot start. Speaking of…

Oliver Perez – He gave up 6 ER to the Giants in a third of an inning on 6/2. Then he pitched well against the Padres and the Rangers. Then he was lit up by the Angels and Mariners. He gets the Yankees next. You can probably find a better spot start.

Shawn Hill – 6 ER in 3 IP. *sitting down* Ouch, that hurts! *trying to sit down again* Ouch, still hurts!

Jonathan Sanchez – Dirty Sanchez doesn’t do him justice. His stuff his so nasty from now on he will be known as Filthy Sanchez.

Ryan Doumit – He returns and hits a home run. Tell me who’s better, Doumit or Soto? Tell me!

Mike Napoli – Crapoli was in a horrific slump before last night’s game. Maybe this breaks him out. Watch him as if your life depends on it. Or at least your crazy aunt’s life. She loves you and her cats!

Kevin Slowey – 7 Ks, 0 ER in 6 IP. I do have a soft spot for Slowey, but for a guy that gives up a lot of home runs, this was a peach matchup. So, for those in Latin America, caveat emptor.

Jeremy Guthrie – I’m glad I didn’t have to send off my strongly worded letter to the Orioles offense about the importance of run support.

Trevor Hoffman – He was Kazaam’d.

Zach Greinke – As many of you already know, I traded Melky Cabrera to my blogmate Rudy Gamble for Zach Greinke. Soon after the trade, Rudy dropped Melky to waivers because of poor production. Last night Greinke K’d 10 on his way to a quality start/win. This is turning into a trade similar to Doyle Alexander for John Smoltz or Jim Fregosi for Nolan Ryan or Valerie Harper for Sandy Duncan. Hey, Rudy, turn on some sad songs and grab a pint of ice cream, cause you’ve been Greinke’d!